Strange Love Collection
by Wyntirsno
Summary: A collection of stories with 2 randomly chosen characters from the Suite Life universe. A different author for each story for all kinds of romance. Check out the 2011 Collection! Authors agreed to allow their fictional names in the 1st and 43rd chapters.
1. WyntirSno

Strange Love: A Suite Life Collection

Introduction by Wyntirsno, and a collaborative effort from several.

*************

At Random Suite Publishing Co. a division of Tipton Industries -

It seemed like a normal day at work for the Suite Life fanfic authors that day; some of them were just hanging out chatting while they were on break from writing.

Lodylodylody took a drink of her coke and set it back on the table, the ice clinking in the glass. "I can't wait until we get started on our new story WH. It will be so great to write something so different."

"I know people are going to be shocked when they read it, we have never written anything like it before," Woundedhearts replied as she peeled the plastic off her chocolate muffin.

"It sounds so cool; I can't wait to see what you come up with," DarkElements10 exclaimed.

"I know what you mean. Writing something completely different is a lot of fun. It has been a really interesting experience writing about being a prisoner of war for Zack," Elianna22 said as she sipped her latte.

"Do you guys think I should add a little more romance to some of my stories?" Tiger002 asked the group.

"Of course!" They all said at the same time grinning at Tiger.

"I knew I shouldn't have asked a bunch of women." He smirked.

As they were sitting there talking, they heard a horrible rumbling noise out in the lobby. It sounded like they were being overrun by a herd of cattle on a stampede.

"Do any of you know what all the noise is about?" Snapplelinz asked as she walked into the room.

All of a sudden Wyntirsno dashed in panting. In her rush she almost ran over Snap.

"They're coming!" she shouted.

"Who's coming?" Waldojeffers asked as he came into the room behind Wyn, not knowing of the impending danger.

"The League of the Under-Appreciated Characters, and they are really mad. You should see some of the signs they are carrying," Wyn said. "I saw one that said 'Booty or Bust!!' and another that said 'We Will Not Be Ignored!' I think they are picketing us."

"Whoa, they sound serious," WJ said as a worried look came across his face.

"Yeah, Wyn is right they are demanding more story time," James Doyle said as he came into the room too.

"Who are they?" Ellie asked.

"I've heard of them; they are all the characters that were on the Suite Life shows who never got the chance at love," WH said.

As they were having this discussion the LOUAC were trying to get past Kirby. He was a great security guard and keeping them back with no problem.

He had been working at RSP Co. for a few weeks now and was fond of all the authors. He was trying to protect them, but as he noticed the people in the lobby and read their signs, he couldn't help but feel their pain and thought that he deserved the same chance.

He was torn between his duty and his heart. His heart won out and he unlocked the door and let them in. He joined them as they headed for the break room.

As they burst into the break-room they shouted, "Give Us Love!"

Wayne was the first one into the room and he ran straight up to WH and Lody followed by Connie and Agnes. Together they started yelling at the authors about not getting enough stories written about them.

"I was supposed to be on vacation this week!" WH pouted as she put her hands on her hips and stomped her foot dramatically.

She and Lody got backed into the little cubicle that the coffee pot was in; there was no way to escape and Wayne's cologne was making them want to retch.

"We deserve to be in stories where we get to be the love interests. My boyfriend has been a pathetic loser and dumped me in most of my stories. I just recently got a taste of romance and I want more!" Connie demanded.

"Hey at least you've had someone to be dumped by. I've never been in a relationship! WayneCo has a lot of love kept in cold storage and I need to let it out of the cooler!" Wayne yelled as he walked threateningly closer to the two frightened authors.

They were both scared and disturbed by the comment, but they saw no way to get away from the often forgotten characters.

"You know, I need a guy that likes a strong woman. I am really tired of these wimpy stars that are so afraid to love me. I'm hot, I deserve more!" Agnes growled.

"More, I'll give you more," WH growled back as she stomped on the girl's foot. "Now Miss Thing get out of my face!"

While Wayne and Connie were still busy whining and Agnes was hopping around on one foot, some of the other characters were cornering more authors to try to explain their position.

Mr. Blanket was leaning over and yelling at Wyn, who had hidden under the table hoping to avoid all the commotion. With him blocking her way out she was trapped under the table and he was really starting to freak her out.

"I really think I should be able to have a better love interest. Miss T. and I are just not working out." he shouted as he shoved his doll of Miss Tutweiller at her. "Tell her Emma."

Meanwhile Miss Tutweiller, Arwin and Chelsea were pushing Tiger and JD into the corner as they were loudly expressing their views for their own romances.

"You know I have been in love with Carey for so long, maybe I need someone else who will accept me with all my quirks," Arwin suggested shyly to the men. "Can't you do that for me? I mean, I need someone who will love me. I will fix anything that breaks down around here forever if you will just give me a love life."

"I am tired of just being London's dumb friend, I think I have so much more to offer. Am I not hot?" Chelsea asked coyly. "I could be more…a lot more." She winked at the men.

"Oh yeah, well I still have my 'Follies' costume. I could make the right guy really happy. Hey, have either of you guys thought of taking a cruise?" Miss Tutweiller asked suggestively.

JD and Tiger just eyed one another with an incredulous looks on their faces.

Across the room WJ was standing by the door surrounded by some guys. There was Lance, Trevor, Brandon, and Jeffrey all chatting animatedly with him. They seemed a lot more relaxed than everybody else in the room.

Marcus and Woody were chasing Snap and DE around the room and trying to tell them what kind of girl they were looking for. They had a strange look in their eyes; you could just tell they were on the prowl.

Out in the main office three more authors had just arrived. The Hurricane 13 was running late. Undefinedliving and SilverTurtle were car-pooling with him so they were just walking in the door when they saw the commotion in the break room. They ran to hide in the supply closet as they made a phone call trying to get help.

"Hello? Oh no, really? Of course we'll help. We'll be right there.

Back in the break-room Ellie was trying to get to WH and Lody so they could get away. "We need to do something! This is getting out of hand!" She pushed Connie out of the way and knocked Agnes over as she tried to get past Wayne.

All of a sudden the door to the break-room was thrown open and in walked Zack and Cody.

"Listen up people, you guys were supposed to be having a peaceful demonstration outside!" Zack hollered over the noise.

"That's right, now calm down and back off of these nice people," Cody added.

"Zacky-Boo-boo, Codykins I knew you would come for me," Agnes said.

"Listen boys you don't understand what it's like to be alone and on the sidelines. We just need a chance to be loved too," Miss T explained to the twins.

"Well… why don't we write a collection of unusual pairings for, uh, maybe Valentines?" Lody recommended as she slipped past Wayne dragging WH with her. "We could all draw two names out of a hat and come up with a story for that pair. They could be romantically involved, or in lust, or even just have a crush on each other. How would that work for you guys?"

"Sounds like a plan," Zack said.

"I can live with that," Wayne said. "As long as I get someone hot."

"No, now the names will be drawn out of my hat and you can only be changed once if your author doesn't like the pair he or she got. This is an attempt to get all of you in the LOUAC to get a chance at love," Lody explained.

Kirby who had been quiet during all of the mayhem finally spoke up. "All right it seems like we have things worked out here, I hope I get drawn first. A-hem, anyway, we all need to clear out of here and let these fine authors get to writing. The quicker we leave the more stories they can write isn't that right guys?"

"Yes!" The authors all said in unison.

After they all left, Tiger went to the front window and put a sign up saying:

Now Hiring. Authors Needed. No experience necessary. Apply inside with Lodylodylody.

*************

The End

My friend Lodylodylody has developed a great new project involving all Suite Life characters past and present. They will be randomly chosen in pairing for two fun filled collections. I will post Strange Love in this forum, and Strange Love: After Hours will be posted in the M-rated forum by another great up and coming author, Waldojeffers. If you would like instructions on how to proceed, feel free to PM Lody, Waldo, and myself, or you can join us at Strange Love-a possible collection idea at:

http : // www . fanfiction . net / topic / 69667 / 21223662 / 1 / (Just remove all the spaces)


	2. James Doyle

What the Heart Wants

By

James Doyle

Feelings are a complicated thing. You can ignore them, repress them, try to appease them, give into them, let them consume you, and to some degree, control them. But the one thing you can't do is stop having them. Sometimes you can make yourself feel a certain way, but once you do, you can't not feel that way. At least until a new emotion comes along.

"The heart wants what the heart wants," as my grandfather would say. It was the last thing he said to me before he passed away. He and I had always been the best of friends. His marriage to my grandmother had never been great, and at times I wondered if she'd been jealous of our relationship. For some reason I can't explain, he was the only person around whom I really felt like I could be myself.

Why I'm so shy is hard to explain. My parents didn't abuse or neglect me. The kids at school were a different story. I grew up in Boston's Back Bay, which isn't a horrible place, relatively speaking. But even in grade school, kids seemed all too eager to segregate themselves into cliques. And then there was me. I wasn't a brainiac, I wasn't a jock, and I wasn't an artist. In fact, I never felt like I was good at anything, and the kids at school were all too happy to reinforce that idea.

Needless to say, I was beyond devastated when my grandfather passed away. My parents didn't really understand my relationship with him, so they weren't quite sure how to console me. The fact that my grandmother completely shut me out didn't help, either. I figured that with my only real friend gone, I was too clumsy, stupid, and ugly to amount to anything. So I just stopped trying. I barely passed most of my eighth grade classes, and failed English, earning me a spot in summer school.

And that's where everything changed. On the first day of summer school, a boy I didn't recognize walked through the door. He had longish dirty-blonde hair, and was a little on the short side. But there was something different about him. Something about the way he carried himself.

"Well, well, well. Look who we have here. I'm Zack," he introduced himself as he sat down. "And you are?"

I couldn't believe a cute boy was actually talking to me. I had no idea how to react to such a situation, throwing me into a panic attack.

"Shy," I retorted. "Painfully shy. Don't look at me!"

I retreated forthwith into my paper bag.

As summer school went on, I came to realize what it was I liked about Zack. Not only was he cute, he was cool, confident, well-spoken, and yes, even smart. Everything I wasn't. One day, Zack gave a stirring speech about how our summer school teacher Mrs. Bird didn't us enough credit. I felt inspired to speak up. What came out of my mouth surprised me as much as it surprised everyone else.

"I love you," I declared.

Then Mrs. Bird agreed with Zack, and reacted by threatening to make the class harder. All of the pathetic ingrates that Zack had been kind enough to tutor turned against him. All except me.

"I love you," I reiterated. My classmates cast a death glare at me, but I wasn't going to abandon Zack now. I drew inspiration from my late grandfather, and quoted his parting words.

"The heart wants what the heart wants," I said.

I was convinced from then on that what my heart wanted was Zack Martin. As we moved on to high school, Zack made the basketball team. Coincidentally, my parents suggested I try out for cheerleading to try and overcome my shyness. Normally, I'd have told them they were out of their minds, but I quickly realized that cheerleading would give me a chance to be close to Zack.

When tryouts came around, I explained to Dana Wuhl, the team captain, why I was there. I figured she might have some sympathy and go easy on me. Instead, she rejected me without even seeing my moves. I thought my hopes of getting Zack had been dashed forever. It was then that I heard Nia Moseby arguing with her ex-boyfriend Vance. Apparently, he'd dumped Nia for Dana, and Nia was determined to show her up by joining what had come to be known as the Misfit Squad.

Well, to make a long story short, the Misfit Squad was one of the best times of my life. I'd actually made friends, including Zack's brother Cody (kind of cute in his own way, but not my type,) his girlfriend Barbara, and of course London Tipton, the most beautiful and glamorous girl ever to walk the earth. The squad wasn't getting me any closer to Zack, but for some reason, that didn't matter. For reasons I wouldn't understand later, the best part of being on the Misfit Squad was getting to spend time with London.

Sadly, it all came crashing down. Zack, Cody, and London all left for the Seven Seas High program. Nia went back to live with her mother, and Barbara spent every waking moment with her new boyfriend Bob. As a result, the Misfit Squad fell apart. And there I was, all alone once again.

One day, about two weeks into my sophomore year, my life changed yet again. Principal Militich had insisted, for safety reasons, that I refrain from wearing the paper bag. Nonetheless, I walked around most of the time with my face downcast, doing my best to avoid eye contact. I would've missed the argument in the hallway if hadn't been so loud.

"Oh, hello there, Amber," greeted Dana Wuhl, smarmy as ever.

"What do you want Dana?" groaned Amber Lewandowski.

"I just wanted to tell you how sorry I was not to see your name on candidate list for homecoming queen," Dana said insincerely.

"What does it matter?" argued Amber. "You're a shoe-in, anyway."

"Well, of course," agreed Dana. "But it doesn't mean anything unless I blow away the competition."

It was then that Amber blew up at her.

"Dana Wuhl, you are a sick, sadistic, pathetic excuse for a human being," shouted Amber. "You've built your high school career on humiliating people, and I'll be damned if I'm going to be the icing on your cake.

Dana gasped. "Such language from a National Merit Scholar!"

"Oh, you want to hear language..." began Amber.

Something came over me at that moment, and I stepped between them.

"Don't do it," I urged. "She's not worth it."

Amber took a deep breath. "You're right."

"Hey, who asked you?" retorted Dana, clearly looking for a fight. "Why don't go back into your paper bag? It's where a pile of vomit like you belongs."

All of the anger I had toward anyone who'd ever called me a name burned within me. I balled my fist and prepared to kick Dana Wuhl's ass into the next parallel dimension. Fortunately, Amber caught me by the forearm and held me back.

"I'll kill her!" I yelled.

"Stop it!" insisted Amber as Dana ran away.

"No!" I retorted, putting up quite a struggle. "She's a heartless bitch who deserves to die!"

Amber proved incredibly strong for her size, and I quickly wore myself out. I began to cry, and Amber drew me into a hug.

"You were right the first time," consoled Amber. "She's not worth it."

"Look at me," I whimpered as I pulled away. "I'm a mess."

"Well, your mascara would be running if you were wearing any," commented Amber.

I couldn't help but laugh at that.

"I'm Amber," she said, extending her hand for an overdue formal introduction.

"I know who you are," I said, shaking her hand. "I'm Haley."

Just then, the bell rang.

"I'd better get to class," said Amber.

"Thanks for what you did back there," I said as she walked off.

"Yeah, you too," she called back.

The next day, I sat by myself at lunch, as usual. To my great surprise, Amber sat with me.

"Hi," she greeted.

"Hi," I replied. "Don't you normally sit with..."

"The overachievers?" supplied Amber.

I nodded. Amber was a straight-A student, but had managed to avoid being labeled as a nerd by having an air of confidence about her and an impeccable sense of style. In a way, she was a lot like Zack Martin.

Zack. There was the common thread between us that had caused us to band together against Dana's attempts to bring out the worst in us. I didn't know many details, but I did know that Amber had been one of Zack's many conquests. I remember being much relieved when nothing happened between them.

"You had my back, and I had yours," explained Amber. "In my book, that makes us friends."

"Friends," I echoed.

"So what happened to that cheerleading squad of yours?" asked Amber, changing the subject. "I always thought your routines were so much more imaginative than the ones the official squad came up with."

"It kind of fell apart when London and Cody and Zack left," I explained.

"Ah, Zack," reminisced Amber. "He certainly was a character."

"Didn't you and him go out for awhile?" I asked.

"Not officially," elaborated Amber. "Actually, it started out as just a tutoring arrangement. I thought he was cute, charming, funny, and way smarter than he gives himself credit for."

I nodded in agreement to all of the above.

"But he was just too much of a ladies' man," continued Amber. "I think he still had some growing up to do before he was ready for a relationship."

"Yeah," I acknowledged.

Amber could see the sorrow in my eyes.

"You liked him, didn't you?"

"I did," I confirmed. "But let's face it: I never had a chance with him."

"Maybe not," granted Amber. "But there's no reason you couldn't find yourself a guy. You're very pretty."

"No, I'm not," I argued. "Not as pretty as you, anyway."

"Believe me, I really have to work at it," countered Amber. "Hey, I have an idea: Why don't you let me give you a makeover?"

"You'd do that for me?"

"Sure," said Amber. "I haven't done one since middle school. It'll be fun!"

"Um, okay, sure," I agreed.

We chatted for awhile longer, talking about absolutely nothing, such as that Oliver Oken boy who'd recently appeared on America's Top Talent. I didn't think Hannah Montana had been acquainted with him before the show, but Amber was quite certain that she had. When the bell rang, Amber jotted down her address, and we headed our separate ways.

That Friday evening, I found my way to Amber's townhouse, which turned out to be only a few blocks from my apartment. I knocked on the door, and an attractive middle-aged woman answered.

"Ah, you must be Haley," she greeted, extending her hand. "I'm Mrs. Lewandowski."

"Pleased to meet you," I said, shaking her hand.

"Won't you come in," offered Mrs. Lewandowski, showing me into the living room. "Amber had to attend a short drama club meeting, but she should be home shortly. Can I get you anything?"

"Water would be great," I accepted. Mrs. Lewandowski returned with our beverages, and we chatted for a bit. I told her the story of how Amber and I became friends, taking care to leave out the more violent parts. Shortly thereafter, Amber arrived.

"Hey," I greeted.

"Hey yourself," replied Amber as she hung up her coat, then turned to her mother. "Something smells good."

Mrs. Lewandowski nodded. "I made that casserole you like."

Dinner was a little awkward, since I'd never been very good with smalltalk. That said, it was also quite informative. It was there I learned that Amber's father was away on business most of the time, and her brother was deployed in Afghanistan, so most of the time, it was just her and her mother. Never had I imagined that Amber would know what it was like to be as lonely as I was.

Mrs. Lewandowski excused us, offering to do the dishes herself, so we headed upstairs. I don't know how to describe Amber's room except to say it was uniquely hers. Never would I have expected to see an autographed poster of Hannah Montana and Jake Ryan hanging next to a portrait of Stephen Hawking. For a girl who was both trendy and smart, I supposed it made sense.

I took a seat in Amber's office chair, having no idea what to expect. I have to admit, I thoroughly enjoyed the experience. I liked the fact that Amber was making me pretty. But there was something else; something entirely unexpected. I loved the feeling of Amber touching my face.

When finished, she showed me a mirror. I couldn't believe my eyes! I was still me, but I was beautiful!

"Amber, you're a genius!" I exclaimed.

Amber smiled. "It helps when I'm working on someone who's beautiful to start with."

I no longer felt the need to deny it. Hearing it from her lips was music to my ears. It was then that I noticed something about Amber.

"You're not wearing any makeup," I observed.

"Yeah," confirmed Amber. "I hate stage makeup. I always wash it off as soon as I'm done."

"I think you look great without it," I complimented sincerely.

"Thanks," said Amber with a bit of a chuckle. "Hey, why don't you give me a makeover?"

"That's very brave of you," I said.

"You'll do fine," assured Amber. "I'll talk you through it."

As I listened to Amber's instructions and began to apply makeup, I had a few ideas of my own. I envisioned something a little more subtle than her normal mask, something that would really show off her natural beauty. She agreed, one modification at a time. It was then I realized that Amber had a beautiful face, and touching it made me as tingly as she had when she applied my makeup.

When I showed Amber her new look, her face lit up.

"I think you're the genius here," complimented Amber.

"You don't have to flatter me," I argued.

"I'm serious," countered Amber. "You have natural talent. Have you ever considered becoming a beautician?"

The truth was, I had no idea what I wanted to be when I grew up. I just never thought I was good enough at any one thing. Now, it appeared I'd found something I really liked, and was good at. Maybe Amber was onto something.

"So what to do say we go to the mall and see if we can't turn a few heads?" suggested Amber.

"I don't think I can do that," I argued.

"You just need some confidence," encouraged Amber. "Do what Zack does: Just get out there and go after what you want."

"What if I can't?" I argued. "What if blows up in my face?"

"So what if it does?" countered Amber. "You'll get over it, and you'll move on to the next thing. It's really not a big deal."

I couldn't believe that a straight-A student had a better handle on recovering from failure than I had. I, of all people, should have known better. In a little over a year, I'd gone from failing the eighth grade to hanging out with one of the most beautiful, popular girls in school, and had finally gained some inkling of what I was going to do with the rest of my life.

And yet, there was one thing I still wanted at that moment. I wasn't sure if I could have it, but with Amber's encouragement, I was certainly going to try. As we sat on Amber's bed, I gently brushed the hair away from her cheekbone.

"I don't feel like going to the mall," I said as I smiled. "I think I'd rather stay here with you."

"Haley..." began Amber, obviously not sure what to think. I put a finger on her beautiful lips.

"The heart wants what the heart wants," I declared, my voice trembling as I looked into her unique hazel eyes.

With that, I slowly drew her face to mine, closed my eyes, and pressed my lips to hers. I'd never kissed anyone before, so I wasn't sure if Amber's lack of reaction was a good thing or a bad thing. Eventually, she sensed my inexperience and began playing with my bottom lip. I did the same with hers, and we went back and forth doing this.

Eventually, I felt Amber's tongue poking at my lips. Not sure what to do, I slowly opened my mouth and clamped it down on hers. This turned out to be exactly what she wanted, as she began to caress my tongue with hers. Eventually, I picked up on her technique and began to return the favor, causing her to moan gently into my mouth. Before I knew it, our kiss had progressed into a full-on make-out session, and I found myself on top of Amber, her hands roaming across my back as mine roamed through her naturally-wavy reddish-brown hair. All of a sudden, we stopped.

"Haley, wait," said Amber. "I'm a virgin."

We both sat up, realizing that we needed to talk about this.

"Can a girl lose her virginity to a girl?" I pondered.

"I don't know," admitted Amber. "But I do think we should take this slowly."

"Yeah," I agreed. "But you enjoyed it, right?"

Amber nodded. "More than I'd ever imagined."

"So you've thought about being with a girl?" I asked.

"I think most girls have," hypothesized Amber.

"Do you want to see where this leads?" I suggested.

Amber nodded. "I think I do."

"Okay, so we're taking it slow," I recapped. "Maybe we should go to the mall, after all."

"Yeah," agreed Amber. "Let's go show off our work."

The next few weeks proved to be nothing short of magical. Amber and I used any and every excuse to spend time together, before, during, and after school. To the casual observer, Amber and I were best friends. In reality, we were dating.

One evening in October, Amber and I dressed in our best evening-wear, and arrived at a place that seemed, at times, to be the center of the universe: the Tipton Hotel. I took Amber by the arm, encouraging her to lean into me as we walked into the restaurant.

"Are you sure the wait-staff will be okay with this?" worried Amber. I just smiled as Patrick, the maitre d' greeted us.

"How are you ladies this evening?" greeted Patrick.

"Very well, thank you," I replied.

"Very good," said Patrick. "Your private table is right this way."

Patrick informed us of Chef Paolo's latest creation, and returned to his podium, leaving us to our romantic, candlelit dinner.

"Is he..." began Amber.

"Oh yeah!" I interrupted with a nod of my head.

"Actually, that's something I've been thinking about," continued Amber. "Haley, do you think we're lesbians?"

"I don't know," I admitted. "I'm not even sure what that means. I mean, I'm into you, but I've never thought about whether I'm into girls in general."

"Actually," confessed Amber. "I think maybe I am."

"You do?" I asked redundantly.

Amber nodded. "See, Haley, the thing is...I've never been this happy with a guy."

What Amber said made a lot of sense to me. After all, I'd never had a boyfriend, so I really had no basis for comparison. Yet, the things that had made me admire Zack Martin, I saw in abundance in Amber. She excited me in a way that Zack never could've hoped to do. It only strengthened me in my resolve do what I'd come to do that evening. To my great and pleasant surprise, Amber beat me to the punch.

"Haley," said Amber just after our appetizers had been served. "I love you."

Tears streamed from my eyes as my heart caught fire. When I left the apartment this evening, I'd been afraid that Amber was just experimenting, and push come to shove, she wouldn't feel the same about me. Now that I knew she shared my feelings, I could no longer keep silent.

"Oh my gosh, Amber!" I exclaimed. "I love you, too."

With that, we leaped up from our chairs and threw our arms around one another. As we embraced, we failed to notice that the waiter had brought our entrees.

"Would you ladies like a moment?" asked Gary the waiter.

"We're good," said Amber with a chuckle.

We decided we'd both try Chef Paolo's latest chicken creation (made with "olive oil with a questionable past"), which turned out to be delicious, though it paled in comparison to the soufflé we had for dessert.

"I have one more thing to ask you, and it's okay if you say no," I announced.

"Anything," said Amber.

"Will you go to the homecoming dance with me?"

Amber sat silent for a moment. "Haley, that's kind of a 'coming out' sort of thing for people like us."

"I know," I replied. "And it's okay if you're not ready."

"Could you give me a few days to think about it?" requested Amber.

I nodded. "Of course."

Two weeks later, I donned my evening gown and anxiously awaited the arrival of my date. I'd already discussed it with my parents, who were surprised to say the least, but more than willing to accept the love of my life. Much to my chagrin, my grandmother had dropped by unannounced. Given my new-found boldness, I decided there was no way to ease her into it, and tonight was as good a time as any.

"Honey, you look beautiful," complimented my mother as I emerged from my room.

"Humph," retorted Grandma. "You look like a hussy."

"Don't pay her any mind," commented my dad. "She's just angry that Dorothy dropped a house on her sister."

"I heard that!" protested Grandma.

A moment later, my mom buzzed Amber in, and she arrived at the front door a moment later, looking like a princess. I immediately ran up and threw my arms around her. I turned around to look at my grandma, who looked as though she might keel over on the spot.

"Well, I never!" she declared. "You should be glad your grandfather isn't alive to see this."

"Now now, mom," responded Dad. "What was it dad used to say? Haley, you remember."

I smiled and held my girlfriend's face close to mine. "The heart wants what the heart wants."

The End

_**Notes on the pairing: **__Haley first appeared in the SLOZAC episode – __**Summer of Our Discontent**__. Amber is from the SLOZAC episode - __**First Day of High School**__._


	3. The Hurricane 13

**Mistaken Identity**

by The Hurricane 13

*************

The _S.S. Tipton_ was docked in Los Angeles for the week and Connie, the ship's  
Director of Fun-tertainment, was enjoying a nice walk down Hollywood  
Boulevard. The wind was rustling through her hair and the streets were filled  
with cars. The hustle and bustle of the big city was strangely relaxing to  
Connie who had spent most of the last six months at sea. While searching for  
Winnie the Pooh's star on the Walk of Fame, she was spotted by someone across  
the street. The handsome young man quickly darted across traffic to speak  
with her.

"Hey!" the boy said excitedly and out of breath as he reached her.

"Oh... hi!" she replied confused, but struck by the young man's good looks.

"It's been a long time!" he said.

"Excuse me?" Connie replied, now even more confused.

"You don't remember me?" the boy said.

"No, I'm sorry. I think you have me confused with someone else," Connie  
replied.

"It's Trevor," the boy said, drawing a blank from Connie. "We kissed at the  
museum a few years ago. You don't remember that?"

"No, I'm sorry. I think I would remember making out with someone in a  
museum. Especially someone as gorgeous as you," she replied with a shy  
smile.

"Maddie. That's your name right?"

"No, sorry... again. My name's Connie."

"Well... do you have a sister because you look just like someone I've met  
before?"

"Nope. I'm an only child," she replied.

"Well... you're very beautiful," Trevor said.

"Oh... well thank you," Connie said, blushing.

"How would you like to have dinner with me at Cinespace? My treat." Trevor  
offered.

"Oh... I'd love to," She said.

"Here's my number," He said, handing her a business card. "Call me when  
you're ready to be picked up." He then leaned in and kissed her softly on the  
cheek. Connie almost melted then and there on top of Billy Bob Thornton's  
star.

*************

Three Days Later...

Zack and Cody were coming down the stairs on the Sky Deck on their way to see  
a screening of Avatar at Grauman's Chinese Theater when they spotted Connie  
sitting with her head down at the smoothie bar. She appeared to be crying.

"Connie, are you okay?" Cody asked as the twins approached. Connie raised  
her head to face the boys, revealing her running make-up.

"No," she sobbed.

"What's wrong?" the concerned twins asked in unison.

"My boyfriend, Trevor, broke up with me," she replied between sobs.

"Sorry to hear that, Connie," Zack said before grabbing his younger brother's  
arm and pulling him away. "Let's get out of here!"

**The End.**

_**Notes on the pairing:**_

_Connie (played by Jennifer Tisdale) has appeared a number of times in the SLOD. _

_Trevor (played by Zac Efron) was in the SLOZAC episode – __**Odd Couples**__._


	4. Lodylodylody

**Stepping Out**

By Lodylodylody

*****************

Carey Martin woke up to the realization that she had absolutely nothing to do that day.

She mulled over that fact as she got out of bed, mused over it while taking an invigorating shower, and reflected on it as she sat down to a breakfast of cornflakes, fruit and toast.

In the end she found it curious that even though this was the second year of her boys being away at school in the semester at sea program, she still wasn't used to how much more free time she had when they weren't around.

Not that this was a bad thing. Yes, she missed her sons terribly…but she had to admit that life was sometimes a bit more relaxing when they were away.

The suite was tidy. The fridge and cupboards were full of food. All the month's bills had already been paid. Life was good. It was even her night off from work. Carey was free to do whatever she liked.

And this left her at somewhat of a loss.

*****************

It wasn't unhappiness or a lack of satisfaction that pre-occupied Carey that morning as she rode the elevator down to the lobby. She actually felt fine and cheerful, though she remained curious about the way her life had settled into a certain routine. Why hadn't she taken advantage of her free time to a greater degree? She didn't feel her life was in a rut. In her mind, a rut was a bad thing. No, her life was in more of a…holding pattern.

She was comfortable, just not entirely content. Otherwise she wouldn't have thought about such things. Maybe she should try and get out more? Perhaps that was what was missing? She had many friends at the Tipton, and there were many opportunities to socialize with them throughout the day…but that was while everyone was on the job. The Tipton hotel was a world unto itself in some ways. A wonderful and happy world filled with family, of a sort.

But Carey realized it might be a good idea to step out of that world now and again…just to make sure she wasn't missing out on something more.

As it happened, an opportunity to see a whole new world was right there in the lobby that day. An opportunity she never would have expected…seeing as how it wore the face of someone who was very much part of the world 'inside' the Tipton.

*****************

Esteban was at the main desk, chatting with a woman that Carey actually didn't recognize for a moment, despite her being a frequent resident of the hotel.

Shannon was a private nurse employed by Leo Throckmorton. Leo was a wealthy and very eccentric old man who was usually at the Tipton for eight or nine months out of the year. Usually, Shannon wore an outdated nurse's uniform, akin to what one would see in older movies or TV shows. It was an affectation that Leo enjoyed, so he provided her with the uniforms and paid her a tidy sum to wear them. Today however, she was dressed casually. That was why Carey had needed an extra split-second to identify her.

After exchanging greetings with the two, Carey commented on the change from Shannon's usual attire.

"I'm getting a break from the costumes for a while," Shannon explained with a meek smile. She was a somewhat shy and spoke softly most of the time. "Leo found out about this new spa in Vermont that offers, uh…unusual therapy for people that can afford it. He's going to stay there for a week…or more if he likes it." She paused. "I think it will be for more than a week. Anyway, he's given me the time off to stay here until he returns. He had his suite here already booked, so he told me someone might as well enjoy it. It's a paid vacation for me."

"Vacations are great," Carey said. "But you don't have to be there with him at the spa?"

"He hired a temporary nurse for the time he's there. He knew I…couldn't stay there. They have this rule…and…" Shannon's cheeks started to color and she laughed nervously. "I couldn't do it."

Carey was quite puzzled until Esteban spoke up to relate what Shannon had already told him.

"This spa is run by a guru who says we must all get back in touch with the natural world," he explained. "And apparently the way we do that…is by running around in our birthday suits."

"There's no clothing allowed on the premises," Shannon finished. "Staff, guests…everyone has to strip once they arrive."

Carey shook her head. No wonder this place appealed to Leo. The old man was known for his lecherous nature.

"If there are many women there, your vacation may last a long time," she told Shannon.

"I know" the shorter woman said with a grin. "I've been trying to decide what to do first. In fact, Esteban was giving me some suggestions."

"I still say you should join Francesca and me for Salsa tonight," he chimed in before turning his attention to Carey. "It is your night off, yes? Why don't you join us as well?"

"Thank you Esteban." Carey's smile was beaming. Without even trying she'd gone from a woman with nothing to do to a woman with plans for the evening. "Just to be clear though, are you inviting me to dinner or to go dancing?"

Shannon laughed. "That was the first thing I asked him."

"Dancing, dancing," he chuckled. "Although we can grab a bite afterwards."

The three made tentative plans about the night's itinerary. After agreeing on what time they would meet in the lobby that evening, Esteban returned his concentration to hotel business while Carey and Shannon walked off and continued to chat.

"Do you know Francesca well?" Shannon asked. "I've only met her briefly. She seems nice."

"I wouldn't say I know her well," came Carey's response. "But she's been by the hotel a few times since she and Esteban got back from their honeymoon. I think she's a sweetheart." She glanced back towards Esteban and smiled. "The two of them are so happy."

"That's great," the shorter woman said. "He deserves someone special in his life."

The nurse's tone had just the slightest hint of…something other than happiness. At one time many people at the Tipton had assumed that romance may have been in the cards for Esteban and Shannon. The shy woman had always talked with him more than she had interacted with anyone else at the hotel, outside of trying to deal with Leo, of course.

"Yes," Carey agreed. "It's too bad we can't all find special someones. But hey, to do that you have to get out there and look." Her tone was upbeat and encouraging. "Who knows? Maybe when we're out dancing tonight some handsome stranger will look in your direction."

Shannon guffawed. The hearty sound was surprising coming from such a quiet and petite woman. "That's not going to happen."

"It could," Carey said.

Shannon gave her a strangely knowing look. "Trust me. There's no handsome stranger in my future." After a pause she added, "Besides, with you there I know where most people's eyes will be."

Carey recognized the compliment and appreciated the sincerity in Shannon's delivery of it. Still, she believed the nurse was being too dismissive of her own attractiveness.

"Come on," she said to Shannon. "The way you dance, you'll be the center of attention."

That was a sentiment that Carey was sure of. Most of the hotel staff were well aware of the surprising transformation that would overtake Shannon whenever she could be lured onto a dance floor. The usually mousey nurse was amazingly gifted dancer, almost frighteningly so. She'd proved that beyond a doubt a few years ago when she and Esteban had taken the top prize in a fiercely competitive ballroom dancing competition. The impressiveness of that feat was compounded by the fact that Shannon had been a last second replacement for Carey herself, who'd been unable to compete thanks to a nasty touch of the flu. And not only had Shannon shown off her talent that night, she'd also shown that there was a stunning beauty concealed behind the unnecessarily thick glasses and underneath the dull sweaters usually slung over the shoulders of her nurse's uniform.

But the flashy vixen that had emerged that night in the ballroom had remained mostly hidden since then. Only brief glimpses of her had been sighted…isolated moments at hotel parties when Shannon didn't have to keep an eye on Leo and would start to move to the music, her shyness melting away.

Thinking about this as they stood there talking in the lobby, Carey made a decision. During Shannon's vacation, she was going to try and coax the nurse out of her shell. She was already wondering if she was missing out on some things in her own life, so perhaps helping Shannon would be a way to help herself as well.

The first chance to offer aid to Shannon came up almost immediately.

"I don't know what to wear tonight," the nurse said with a hint of concern. "I don't go out often so I don't really have that many outfits."

"How about we go shopping?" Carey offered. "I was looking for something to do today, and that would be fun."

Happily, Shannon didn't require much convincing. In no time at all the two women were heading out of the hotel in search of clothing.

*****************

Carey was having a great time. She hadn't spent any time with female friends outside of the hotel in ages. She couldn't remember the last time she'd had so much fun shopping.

Shannon certainly seemed to be enjoying herself too, though Carey had needed to expend considerable effort at first to get Shannon to try on certain outfits. But the more time they spent together the more comfortable the nurse became with Carey's suggestions.

Of course, Shannon looked absolutely stunning when she tried on clothes that weren't drab and seemingly designed to hide her beauty. When Carey complimented her, the younger woman would blush.

She is so adorable, Carey thought. She will definitely catch some men's eyes tonight.

Being in such a good mood, and in the spirit of trying to encourage Shannon, Carey tried on a number of outfits herself that were flashier than her usual flare. She was fairly pleased with some of the selections, and it was a nice boost to her ego when Shannon would compliment how she looked in each ensemble.

"You're amazing," the shorter woman gushed when Carey came out of the dressing room wearing a nicely cut, dark-blue dress.

"I do like this one," she agreed as she looked in the mirror. "It would probably look even better if I wore my hair up." To test this theory she reached up and pulled back her hair into a makeshift ponytail.

Shannon nodded. "Hair up, for sure." She paused and looked admiringly at the taller woman. "You have such beautiful hair. And it looks great no matter what you do with it."

Carey found herself blushing a bit for a change. "You're such a sweetheart."

"Really," Shannon continued. "I remember when we first met, your hair was so short. Not many women could make that look work like you did. But now it's so long and you look just as gorgeous." She sighed. "I wish I were more like you."

"Oh, don't say that," Carey responded. "I mean, thank you…but you've got no reason to be insecure about your looks. You're beautiful. And I think your hair looks great too."

"Really?" Shannon's eyes seemed to light up in response to the praise. "You think I'm beautiful?"

"I don't think, I know."

"Thank you," Shannon said in a soft voice.

There was an odd moment of quiet after that. It ended when Shannon quickly broke eye contact with Carey and glanced towards the floor.

"I still think my hair is flat and boring," she said.

"Well, If you aren't happy with it, let's go do something about it," Carey replied. "We are going out tonight, we might as well have our hair done."

*****************

The two women found an upscale salon that wasn't too busy and sat down to look through some albums of possible styles. Shannon still had an unsure manner about her, so Carey continued to be encouraging.

"I'm actually glad we're doing this," she told the nurse. "I hadn't given it much thought…but it's been a while since I've had a big change. I think I'll go for a whole new look."

"Seriously?" Shannon asked. "What are you going to do?"

Carey didn't have an answer ready. The truth was she'd been quite happy with her hair at its current length and color. It had just struck her though that she'd kept her current style for a much longer time than most other styles she'd had. She'd never been hesitant about changing her hair in the past…how was it that she'd grown so complacent?

At that particular moment, Carey decided she didn't like complacency.

"You know what?" she finally responded to Shannon. "I'm going to let fate decide."

"What do you mean?"

At that moment, a stylist with an available chair asked Carey and Shannon if either of them were ready. With a devil-may-care look in her eyes, Carey smiled at Shannon. "Watch this."

Carey got up and went to the stylist.

"And what are we doing today?" the man asked as he led Carey to his chair. As it happened the chair was close enough to the waiting area for Shannon to see everything clearly and even listen in on the conversation.

"I feel like gambling," Carey told the man with a smile. "So whatever you did to the last customer you had in this chair…I want the same."

Shannon's eyes widened and her mouth opened in shock. Meanwhile, the stylist laughed and then studied Carey's face.

"Are you sure about this?" he asked. "You're not joking?"

With a playful grin on her face, Carey nodded. "Let's do it. Don't tell me what it is. If I end up hating it…well, I'll cross that bridge when I come to it."

"I admire a brave woman," the man said.

Carey looked in the mirror and saw that Shannon was still looking towards her with an expression of shock. She flashed a smiled into the mirror so that Shannon could see there was nothing wrong with taking a little chance now and then.

Of course, when the stylist lifted up a handful of Carey's hair and hacked it off rather close to the scalp, Carey's expression changed somewhat.

"Hoo-boy," she said in a moment of surprise. But a second later she laughed and urged the stylist to continue.

*****************

When the man had finished his work, Carey ended up with an ultra-short pixie cut, not that different from a style she'd sported a couple of years earlier. Seeing this, she added an additional request for a color change…and when she finally got out of the chair she was once again a blonde.

"Wow," was the only reaction Shannon could muster at first. "Wow!"

"I hope 'wow' means good in this case," Carey said. "I'm loving it. I have to say, I think this style looks better on me now than it did back when I first tried it."

"It's fantastic," Shannon said. "You look so…sexy."

Before Carey could respond to the compliment, another stylist stepped forth and asked if Shannon was finally ready. It seemed she had failed to make a decision about her own style request all the time that Carey had been in the chair.

"Um…sorry. Yes," Shannon told the waiting man. "I'm ready." She turned back to Carey. "I'm not going to be as brave as you. But I picked a style."

*****************

The style that Shannon had picked turned out suit her perfectly. She'd been trying to grow her hair longer for a while so she didn't want any real cut. Instead, she opted for curls…long feminine curls than cascaded down past her shoulders and gave her hair the volume and bounce it had previously lacked. The end result was truly lovely.

So both Carey and Shannon looked spectacular that evening when they met up with Esteban and his wife.

The club that they all went to was a fun place that Esteban frequented often. It was known for its different themed dance nights, and tonight was Salsa…but with a little bit of a twist.

Jorge, a pleasant fellow with a stocky, fireplug-like build, stepped forward and explained that tonight everyone was going to try 'Rueda de Cuba' – a loosely organized form of group Salsa dancing that involved frequent partner switching. Esteban and Francesca were familiar with this type of dance, but Carey and Shannon were not.

"So, this is sort of like square dancing?" Carey asked Esteban. "Jorge is going to be the caller…and we do moves based on what he says."

"It is the same basic idea," Esteban confirmed. "Though do not expect to hear him say the…do-si-do. Is that how you say it?"

"We know what you mean," Shannon replied.

Francesca spoke up with more information. "It's very easy. Just dance and have fun. Jorge calls things very simply. Mostly he'll just let us know when to change partners."

As it turned out, the dancing wasn't hard to get into at all. The atmosphere was very light and friendly, and Jorge did keep his instructions simple. The only problem was that his thick accent was sometimes hard for Carey and Shannon to understand…especially when he'd sometimes mix English and Spanish together without realizing it. Still, they were able to adjust without much difficulty…until they both went the wrong way when a partner switch was called and ended up face to face with each other.

A few people laughed in good natured tones, not at all derisively. But Carey saw Shannon start to freeze up and look embarrassed. She reached out and took hold of the shorter woman…and began guiding her through some steps.

"Come on," Carey said with a smile. "We're here to have fun."

Shannon responded with a beaming smile and began dancing in earnest. Carey quickly found herself going from leading to merely trying to keep up. The rest of the crowd stopped worrying about their own steps and watched with delight as the two women demonstrated just how talented they were.

Jorge quickly decided he had absolutely no intention of calling for another partner switch.

While Shannon was the superior dancer, Carey was no slouch herself. And being half a foot taller, she was large and strong enough to execute some maneuvers with Shannon that normally a male partner would have been needed for. Seeing that everyone else was now watching them, the two women didn't limit themselves to Salsa moves and threw in a few well-timed lifts…which drew some enthusiastic cheers.

When the song ended, everyone applauded as a laughing Carey and Shannon hugged one another and then took their bows.

*****************

It was a late when Carey and Shannon got back to the hotel. They rode the elevator up to the 23rd floor where Shannon got out with Carey rather than continuing on to the next floor where Leo's suite was.

"I just wanted to thank you for everything today," she told Carey. "Shopping, dancing…this was the most fun I've had in…ever."

"It was a blast," Carey agreed. "I really needed this. It's been too long since I've gone out." She smiled at the shorter woman. "And it was great to see you having such a good time."

"I'd like to…do more," she said. "With you."

The longing in Shannon's eyes didn't register with Carey. "I'd like that," she replied. "Let's see if we can't take advantage of your vacation time."

"I think that's a great idea." Shannon smiled timidly and felt her heart flutter. "I'd like to see you more often."  The nurse stood awkwardly for a minute or so, while Carey waited for her to continue. It was obvious the other woman had more to say.   "Is there something else?" Carey asked as gently as she could. "You seem nervous. Why? I'm not going to bite you."  Shannon looked into the eyes of the other woman and felt a sudden boost of confidence. Before she knew what she was doing, she stepped up to Carey and placed a hand on each side of her face. Tenderly she brushed her lips against hers and slowly began to play with that beautiful mouth.   Carey stood paralyzed not able to really understand what was happening until a second or two later. Confused and stunned by the obvious show of affection she stepped back wide-eyed out of the other woman's grasp.   "I…I'm…sorry," Shannon stammered. She began to retreat quickly as he spoke, making it back to the elevator before Carey could say or do anything.

"Wait--" the older woman called a second too late. The elevator doors had already closed and Carey was left standing in the hall.

*****************

Carey didn't chase after Shannon that night. Instead she went back into her suite, sat down and replayed the events of the day through her mind.

The looks Shannon had given her, the shy smiles, the sparkle in the younger woman's eyes…Carey now saw it all in a new light. At least now it was clear why there'd never been any romance between Shannon and Esteban.

But the fact that Shannon liked women was not what Carey found herself dwelling on. No, the problem was her own confusion. A confusion that Carey could see absolutely no reason for.

Carey was straight. She'd always been straight and she was always going to be straight. So what was the problem? Why was she sitting alone and trying to analyze her feelings when she should be seeking out Shannon and letting the woman know there was no reason for her to feel embarrassed? She didn't want the nurse to be feeling bad or worried that she'd offended Carey. Hell, she was far from offended...more like flattered. It was nice to know that a woman like Shannon would find her desirable. The nurse was so sweet…young…beautiful…

Why was she thinking these things? Why was there confusion?

*****************

Shannon did quite a good job of avoiding Carey the next day…but this only increased Carey's determination to find her. When she'd finished her final show in the lounge that evening, she didn't bother to change. She went directly to the elevator still wearing her sequined dress and hit the button for the 24th floor.

When she knocked on the door to Leo's suite, she heard Shannon's voice sound timidly from the other side.

"Who is it?"

"It's Carey, Shannon," she answered.

No further response came.

"Please open the door," Carey said in a polite but firm tone. "I'm not going anywhere until you and I can talk face to face."

The door opened and Carey walked in.

Shannon made a valiant effort to appear unshaken. Although she avoided making eye contact, her voice was fairly steady.

"I'm sorry about what happened," she told Carey. "If you'd please just forget about it, I--"

"Stop that," Carey said. "You've got nothing to apologize for. I'm only sorry that I didn't catch up to you last night and tell you that."

At those words, Shannon dared to look up and meet Carey's gaze.

"I hate to think that you've been upset since then," the older woman went on. "There's no reason for you to avoid me."

"Really?"

Carey looked over towards the couch. "Can we sit down?"

The two women moved to the couch, with Shannon making a point to keep plenty of space between herself and Carey.

"I was surprised when you kissed me," the lounge singer admitted. "I just didn't see it coming. That was why I didn't say anything at first. Not because I was horrified or angry."

"I'm glad," Shannon replied. "But I still shouldn't have done it. I felt so foolish. Just to grab you like that…without even trying to see…" She let her words trail off.

"See what?"

"I've never been good at that sort of thing," the nurse continued. "I'm too shy. I'd probably be the same way if I were straight…but at least then the odds would be in my favor. If I threw myself at a man I doubt he'd be shocked speechless."

"I'd think that would depend on the guy," Carey answered.

Shannon let out a small laugh. "Maybe. But the point is I should have tried talking to you more…and seen if you were, well…I could have asked if you…" She paused again. "I have no idea how I would have brought it up. It's not like I thought you might be bi. You weren't showing any signs that I could see."

Carey shrugged. "You could have asked if I'd ever experimented in college. Or whether I liked that I Kissed A Girl song."

"Do you like that song?" Shannon said with a hint of a smile.

Carey was glad to see the woman appeared more comfortable. "It's catchy. I actually like Waking up in Vegas more. But I think discussing Katy Perry's music is beside the point."

Yeah," Shannon agreed. "That song isn't even about being a lesbian anyway. It's more about making a spectacle of yourself."

"Which leads me back to the question about experimenting in college," Carey said. "You're not the first woman who's ever kissed me."

"No?" Shannon asked, interested evident in her tone.

"No," Carey said as a hint of color came to her cheeks. "The truth is I had a bit of a wild streak when I was younger. Hey, I was travelling the country with a band…what do you expect?" She laughed. "But I was only interested in guys. The only times I…" She took a deep breath. "I took part in a couple of threesomes, but that was all about pleasing the guy I was with. Looking back, I would have been happier if I'd skipped those experiences."

"I understand," Shannon replied. "I'm sorry if kissing you brought back bad memories."

"I told you that you've got nothing to apologize for." She paused. "The truth is…last night has left me pretty confused. It doesn't make any sense."

"What doesn't make sense?" Shannon asked.

"I'm attracted to men," she said. "I always have been. I'm a forty year old woman who--"

Shannon spoke up without thinking. "I thought that big party two years ago was your fortieth--"

"I'm a FORTY year old woman," Carey cut her off with a bit of mock anger. "I'm well past the whole 'youthful experimentation' phase." She looked into Shannon's eyes. "But when you kissed me…"

The hopefulness was clearly visible in Shannon's eyes by this point. "You liked it?"

Carey answered in a soft voice. "I liked it a lot."

Both of them were quiet for a moment. Then Shannon tentatively began to move closer to Carey on the couch. Carey made no move to stop her when she took hold of her hand. In fact, she found it rather sweet, the way Shannon squeezed it gently. And when the younger woman leaned towards her, Carey responded in kind. When their lips met the kiss was soft and unhurried.

"I liked that one too," Carey said when the kiss ended. "But I've got to be honest with you, I'm still surprised by all this."

"I'm not going to try and make you do something you don't want to," Shannon replied.

"No, I know what I want right now…but I don't know if what I want now is something that I'll still want tomorrow." She looked into Shannon's eyes. "I'd hate to hurt you if this is just some sort of mid-life crisis I'm going through."

A thoughtful expression came to Shannon's face. Carey could tell the woman was considering the matter carefully.

"You just gave me fair warning," the nurse finally said. "I'm willing to see what happens."

Then she leaned in for another kiss.

It didn't take long for the soft kisses to turn more aggressive…or for Shannon to let go of Carey's hand and start touching other parts of her body. Every caress was a revelation to Carey. It all felt so right. Perhaps only a woman could truly understand how to handle another woman's body. Certainly Carey had never received so much pleasure at anyone else's hands. And this was still just foreplay.

When they got to a certain point, Shannon stopped. When Carey looked at her she saw the look that she'd only seen before on the dance floor. The shy, timid girl was nowhere in sight. It was the dynamic, stunning vixen she was dealing with now.

"I want you Carey," Shannon said. "But we are moving fast. If you're having any doubts, any second thoughts…we can stop. It's probably the smart thing to do."

Carey knew they could be cautious and call it quits for the night. She could go home, examine her feelings and then see Shannon again the next day. That was certainly an option.

"It would be the smart thing," she said with a grin. "But I don't feel like being smart right now."

Shannon smiled and response and then started doing things with her hands, and mouth, that she'd refrained from doing earlier.

"Oh God!" Carey moaned. "I don't want to be smart! I want to be dumb as hell!"

Whether it was smart or dumb…the night was very enjoyable for both women.

*****************

Carey spent time the next day searching her feelings. She noted what she felt, but also took note of what she didn't feel.

Regret? No…not even the barest hint.

Desire on the other hand…yes. A lot of desire to spend more time with Shannon.

Confusion? Oh, a little bit. She still wasn't sure if she was bisexual or straight. Well, she couldn't be straight now, could she? She wanted to have a sexual relationship with another woman. But the important thing was that she decided that her confusion was meaningless. She didn't care about labels or orientation. She cared about being happy.

*****************

Happiness ended up being not that difficult to come by. Time and circumstance let Shannon and Carey discover that they were cut out to be more than just lovers. Family and friends were supportive, though Cody and Zack went on for nearly three days believing it was some sort of elaborate joke their mother was playing on them.

Leo ended up letting Shannon go from his employ. This had nothing to do with her love life and everything to do with his decision to spend most all of his time at the spa in Vermont. The temporary nurse he'd hired became his new full-time nurse (and eventually his wife)…but Shannon had no hard feelings about being replaced. Leo paid her a very generous severance package. And it wasn't too long afterwards that Esteban decided it might be a good idea to have a full-time medical professional employed at the hotel for emergencies. Shannon was the perfect candidate for the job.

And Carey never again worried that she might have been missing out on anything in life.

*****************

**The End.**

* * *

**Notes on the pairing:**

Shannon (played by the lovely and talented Cheryl Burke) is from the SLOZAC episode - Loosely Ballroom.

I think everyone knows Carey, the mother of our favorite twins.

Please review.


	5. Silver Turtle

**The Mistakes I've Made**

By SilverTurtle

Rating: K

**************

Mr. Tipton was a well off man. He'd made some very smart business moves and was now one of the richest and most powerful men in the world. He had everything he could ever want a mere phone-call away. Things were going swimmingly for him.

But periodically he liked to check in on his favored businesses. And today he was performing a review of his best, most successful venture, the Boston Tipton Hotel. This five star establishment was the crowning jewel of his assets, not counting his daughter of course, and a thing of beauty. He loved this hotel, his very first hotel, as if it were his child. In a way, it was. It was the very first business he'd ever owned and he'd turned it into a chain, a franchise, a name brand. The Tipton. He was very proud of his business.

He walked through his lobby, his cadre of bodyguards a wall between him and everyone else, thinking private thoughts.

And suddenly, the voice of an angel, "Alex! Knock it off!"

He knew that voice. He knew that phrase even. He'd had it directed at him for three blissful years. And he hadn't heard it in twenty years.

That voice belonged to the most beautiful woman he had ever known.

He'd thought that about her twenty years ago and he thought so now. Unfortunately for him, twenty years ago he'd just begun his plan to make his fortune, he was full of ambition and had no time for love. Though he had loved her, he'd loved her as deeply as he'd ever loved another human being. In his lifetime he'd only loved one person better, and that person was his daughter.

But back then he was a different man. She'd met him twenty-three years ago while he was living poor, under an assumed name, learning about the ways of the world and beginning to cut his own path in the high stakes world of business. She'd loved him through his failures and successes, supporting him and shining just for him.

He'd been a fool.

And he knew it.

He'd lost her to his ambition. Blinded himself with greed and allowed her to slip away. She'd gone and he'd rushed into a marriage with the mother of his only child, and when that hadn't worked out he had followed with a long string of unsuccessful marriages. But still, he loved her. Always her. Even today.

He reached out and parted his guards before him, his voice low and sonorous, "Theresa?"

Her head, and everyone else's in the establishment, turned to look at the source of that spoken name.

Theresa Russo's face a mask of shock and wonder as she said, "Alex?"

"Mr. Tipton," Moseby said in surprise, "your face! I haven't seen it in years!"

"Mom," a teenaged girl, who had previously been arguing with the twin boys he knew lived here, asked loudly, "you know Mr. Tipton? You named me after a dude?!"

Mr. Tipton walked out of his tunnel of guards directly up to Theresa, the love of his life, the one that got away. "It's good to see you, Theresa."

He saw the ring on her finger. The girl, with his name, had called her 'mom'. She was obviously lost to him. But still, still he was drawn to her, like a moth to flame.

"Alex," she breathed out, "it's been-"

"Twenty years, seven months, one week, three days, and fourteen hours since I drove you away," he intoned.

She looked at him startled, "You kept that close a count?"

He smiled gently, bittersweet, "I knew the moment you walked out the door that I had just made the biggest mistake of my life. I felt the least I could do is remember when my life changed forever the second time."

"Second?" he heard his own daughter ask, "When was the first?"

The first time his life had changed had been when he'd met Theresa, and then it had been for the better. The second time, when she left, had most certainly been for the worse. The third time his life had changed had been for the better though, for that's when London was born and he learned he could still love.

"Alex-" he interrupted her again.

"I think it's high time I introduce myself properly to you Theresa."

"What, but Alex-" he didn't let her finish.

"My name," he began, "is Wilfred Alexander Tipton."

Theresa put a hand to her chest, pressed down hard over her racing heart. This was the man she'd loved all those years ago, before Jerry and the kids, and she'd never even known his real name. She began to laugh until she cried.

Alex Russo was at her side quickly, glaring at the man who had unwittingly put her mother in such a state, "Look, dude, I don't care who you are, you need to get away from my mom!"

Theresa shook her head, mastering herself, "No, Alex, it's alright. I just—lost my head for a moment. I'm alright now."

Mr. Tipton listened intently, "Alex?" he queried, "You named your child after me?"

Alex frowned, looking to her mother, disbelieving that she'd been named after a dude, even one as successful as Mr. Tipton.

Theresa nodded, "She's a lot like you. Clever, ambitious, loving. As soon as I saw her, right after she was born, I knew I had to name her Alex. She's not of your blood, but she reminded me so strongly of you."

Mr. Tipton's eyes met Alex's over her mother's head. He could see strength and determination in her gaze, but her could also see the uncertainty he knew she must be feeling. Yes, she was a lot like him, though she wasn't his. "I'm sorry if I've upset you," he addressed to both women. "It was not my intention. I just heard your voice and had to see if it was really you."

Theresa looked up into the eyes of the man she'd once loved, and if she was honest a man she cared for still. "You've done well for yourself, Al-Mr. Tipton," it hurt to use that name when he'd been 'Alex' to her for so long, "I'm glad."

He felt a stab of pain in his heart hearing his love address him so formally. He knew they could never be, that he'd lost his chance twenty years ago, but he soul ached for her still and probably always would. "I've been a lucky man." Luckier, though, if he could have loved her as she deserved.

She touched his arm, lifted herself to kiss his cheek, held his hand for a moment before pulling away. "Goodbye, Mr. Tipton."

"Goodbye, Theresa."

And though he kept up a strong façade, inside he wept.

He had lost her. Again.

**************

**THE END**

* * *

**Notes on the Pairing:**

Theresa Russo is a character from Wizards of Waverly Place. She appeared in one episode of the crossover Wizards on Deck with Hannah Montana. She is played by Maria Canals-Barrera.

Mr. Tipton is London Tipton's father, at last count he has been married 14 times. While he has appeared on The Suite Life of Zack and Cody, his face has never been shown. He is voiced by Bob Joles, played by Bob Joles and Adam Tait.


	6. Waldojeffers

**Manipulative Moseby**

by Waldojeffers

*****************

**New York, September 2007**

"Yes mother… I know I'm broke again. I know you expect money from me. Yes, I know Marion does have money now… Bye mother."

Spencer Moseby, ex-multimillionaire, threw the telephone down getting pissed off at his mother. As if it wasn't bad enough he lost all his money, now his mother was bothering him again with how his brother had succeeded in life, while he was the one who had nothing.

And then it struck him. His brother… He could try to take over his job. All he needed for that was just a phone call to his accomplice. Someone who already tried to take over Marion Moseby's job. Someone who would sell his, in this case her, own mother to get what she wanted. But also someone who failed. Something Spencer was not going to do.

"Is this Ilsa Shickelgrubermeiger?"

"Yes, this is me. Who are you and what do you want from me?"

"I'm Spencer Moseby. I need your advice and help. I want to replace Marion Moseby at the Tipton."

"Getting rid of Moseby? I'm with you."

So, plans were made. Spencer soon realized Ilsa wouldn't be enough to help him. Her example showed him he needed the staff and the employees on his hand. That's what made Ilsa's plan fail. Well, that and those annoying twins.

The twins were behind his control, behind anyone's control actually. But the employees… If he could get them on his side, his plan might work. All he had to do know was pick one out who he could get on his side and would help him without asking questions.

That Latin looking bellhop! That's it… Spencer had been thinking he was looking weird at him the last time. Like he was checking him out. He looked like he was gay and had the hots for him. Personally Spencer thought gays were wrong and it creeped him out that two men would kiss each other. Some things were more important than that for Spencer though. And one of those things was money.

Spencer was prepared to do anything for money. Even if it meant seducing a gay man and making out with him. It didn't matter how disgusting it was. He was going to seduce the Latin-looking bellhop and made him his man on the inside.

Nothing could go wrong with his plan. Finally he was going to be the successful brother again.

**Boston, Tipton Hotel, 23th Floor, Late October 2007**

A month later Spencer was to be found on the 23rd floor of the Tipton hotel in Boston in his own suite. First thing he did was calling Ilsa to thank her for paying his flight over and not to mention for his suite.

His brother had been majorly surprised when he saw Spencer arriving. He didn't look to happy either. But luckily he hadn't found out Spencer was broke. Their mother hadn't called him either with the news.

All was going well for his plan, only to wait for the Latin-looking bellhop to come to his suite. He had called for him hours ago now. Which was a bit strange, cause he had expected he would come to his suite immediately when his arrival at the hotel was known. Well, not everything always went as planned.

For example he seemed to have gotten the room next to those bloody twins. He had to find something to keep them out of his business. Those rascals could destroy everything.

But that could wait for later cause he heard someone knocking on the door. Could that be the bellhop he had been waiting for, his man on the inside, who was going to make his perfect plan work. Maybe he could also take care of the devil pair in the suite next to him.

And yes, it was the Latin-looking bellhop who he was longing to see who entered his suite. Spencer quickly looked at the man's name tag to find out he was named Esteban.

"You called for me, little Mr. Moseby?" he asked in his thick accent.

"Yes Esteban… I just had to see you again." He said while he invited Esteban in, "come and sit down please, I think we have to talk."

"We do?"

"You know, I have been looking out for this moment since I was here the first time. Esteban, since I've been away, I've had many girls around me, but the whole time there always was one face that kept appearing before my eyes."

"Yes?" Spencer could tell he already had Esteban in the palm of his hands. Nothing could go wrong now.

"Yours, Esteban. I kept seeing you everywhere. It was then that I realized I was gay. And I'm in love with you. I hope you won't hate me?" After that statement Spencer began to cry up some fake tears to make his confession more believable.

"Oh no, little Mr. Moseby. You just made me very heppy…"

"Heppy? Don't you mean happy?" Spencer asked confused by Esteban's thick accent.

"That's what I said: heppy! But I meant to say I have been longing for you ever since I've seen you the first time."

'And the trap is closing,' Spencer thought grinning evil inside.

"Oh, Esteban, you don't know how happy you're making me." Spencer said as he pulled Esteban into a passionate kiss.

The two grow-ups stayed up whole night making out very passionately as if there would be no next day.

A next day that finally came for both men. For Spencer it couldn't have been fast enough, cause he was really grossed out by gay sex. While for Esteban, he was wishing the night would go on forever. He never felt that good as the night he spent with Spencer. He would do everything for his lover. He really felt Spencer was the one with whom he wanted to spend the rest of his life.

But now he had to start working again, for Mr. Moseby would be very mad with him if he didn't. So Esteban got up, started dress himself for work, but got stopped by Spencer.

"Esteban, my love? Do you really have to leave already? I'm going to miss you, babe."

"Oh Spencer… I'll miss you to, but I can't stay. Big Bro Moseby would be very mad with me if I don't start now. He will cut my salary already for spending the whole night here while I had to work."

"I know… My brother really is a tyrant. If I were your boss, I wouldn't order you around like a packed mule. You're worth much more than that."

"Oh my Spencer… You're so sweet, but I really can't stay now." Esteban was getting to the door now.

"Wait Esteban! I have a plan… A plan which could make me the boss of the Tipton instead of Marion. And you know I should treat you and every other employee much better, don't you? Will you help me with that Esteban?"

Esteban would do everything to get his love, Spencer happy, so of course he agreed to help Spencer. Out of love for him, he would do anything what he would ask of them.

**Boston, Tipton Hotel, Suite 2330, Early November 2007**

Carey Martin had just finished making breakfast for her two sons, but they didn't seem to be that happy about it. It seemed Carey's cooking still wasn't top class, not even close. But not only that, the twins were worried about Mr. Moseby.

The hotel manager was going through some very tough weeks lately. It just seemed like everything was going wrong. There were spotted rats in the hotel, and the twins weren't responsible this time. Chef Paolo had found rotten food in his kitchen, luckily he found it out before his guests got the meal. Guests rooms weren't that clean anymore. The elevators in the hotel stopped more than they worked. Arwin already had been spending days nights trying to fix it, but it just kept happening again. And what was worse was that none of the employees has been paid lately. They all started to turn against Mr. Moseby now.

"Really Zack, something strange is going on here." Cody stated the obvious at the Martin's breakfast table.

"Yeah, have you seen Esteban and Spencer lately? That's so gross, man…"

"Zachary Martin! It's not nice to say things like that." Carey lectured Zack. "Certainly not with Cody being, you know… well um…"

"Mom, it's ok… you can say 'gay' without turning into stone. I'm gay, nothing wrong with that." Cody said rolling his eyes toward his mom, who seemed to be turning into a tomato instead of stone.

"And besides, that's not what I meant. With Cody it's not gross, but how you can be with someone like Spencer? That's just ugh…" Zack added on.

"I agree with Zack there, mom. Esteban and Spencer are just ugh… Not that we're not happy for Esteban, but Spencer… ugh" Cody said as he shrugged by just the thought of it.

"That's my boys… Just remember Esteban is a friend, and we don't want to hurt his feelings, ok?" said Carey lecturing her boys.

"Yes mom." They said together rolling their eyes at her.

"Anyhow, that's not what I meant Zack. I'm talking about all the things happening in the Tipton without we having something to do with it." Cody said turning to Zack.

"You're right! We should do something about that, some b-ball in the lobby perhaps?"

Zack was clearly not getting the point, so Cody gave him a friendly slap on the head.

"Of course not, you goof! I mean we should find out who's responsible for all of this. Let's get the spy gear!"

"Oh, that's a good option too. But first you're going to pay for that slap, you nerdy boy." Zack said as he got up to return the gesture to Cody.

Soon Zack was running behind Cody through the hallway, disrupting all the guests. Until Zack finally got hold of Cody. They didn't notice they were leaning against Spencer's door.

As Zack raise his fist to scare Cody a bit, without actually wanting to hit his little brother, they suddenly heard a voice in the room saying: "Ms Shickelgrubermeiger? Yes, it's Spencer again."

"Schnitzelgroundmeaner? What's she doing here?" Cody said, "Zack, get the spy gear and quick! I'll listen keep listening here."

"Ah, Ilsa, I have good news. I've given Esteban the task to organize a strike under the employees. My obnoxious brother won't be in control for much longer."

Cody was completely surprised when he heard that. It was Spencer together with that Schnitzel-woman who were causing all of this. And Esteban helped them?

"What? Yes, I'm sure I can trust Esteban. Ilsa, that stupid bellhop does everything I ask from him. He really thinks I'm in love with him… Like I ever would. Really… two men together, can you think of something more disgusting?"

Hearing Spencer saying that hurt Cody a bit. How could Spencer have let Esteban on by just using him for his devious schemes. What he had said about gays made Cody dislike Spencer even more. What is wrong with some people? Like it matters what sexual preferences you have? But Cody didn't had much time to think about that as his brother was back with their spy gear and even a recorder. He motioned Zack to be quiet and put the recorder on.

"I agree, stealing all of the hotel's money to pay the employees was probably the best move. But I'm going to steal some of London Tipton's diamonds now, or I'll ask Esteban to do that. That stupid faggot should do that without complaining. That would be the last strike for Mr. Tipton, he would have no choice to fire my brother. This is the best plan I, Spencer Moseby, ever have come up with."

That was enough for the twins. They had recorded enough evidence to prove to Mr. Moseby and Mr. Tipton who was responsible for all of this. And they had to inform Esteban about Spencer's behavior too.

**Boston, Tipton Hotel, Lobby, Early November 2007**

When Zack and Cody came down, it was looking very bad for Mr. Moseby. Guests were complaining, the Tipton-employees weren't doing anything but sitting. And Mr. Moseby looked like he could go crazy any minute now. They had to act quickly.

"Zack, you get Esteban! I'll inform Moseby we found the jerk who did this." Cody instructed his brother while he ran to the lobby where Mr. Moseby was almost crying.

"Mr. Moseby? We can help you! Zack and I found out who did all of this."

"Boys, there is nothing you can do anymore… Mr. Tipton will fire me, the police is already on his way. It seems a guest has been robbed here. My days at the Tipton are over."

"No! You can't give up, Mr. Moseby. Not now we know who the real jerk is." Cody tried to help Mr. Moseby realize he shouldn't let himself down this soon. "Zack, Esteban, come here. I have something all four of us should hear."

And so Cody let Esteban and Mr. Moseby listen to the recording they made a few minutes ago at Spencer's room. Both men's reactions were very different. Mr. Moseby was furious when he heard the recording and looked as if he could kill Spencer if he would have been here right now. Esteban on the other hand started crying. It seems like the news had really broken him. The man he loved had been leading him on all along.

As both adults were in no condition to act immediately, Cody decided to be the one in charge now.

"Ok, Mr. Moseby, you said the police was on its way?" Mr. Moseby nodded. "Good, so you and Zack can let them listen to the tape. It should be evidence enough to take Spencer with them. I'll take care of Esteban."

As Zack and Mr. Moseby ran toward the cops who just arrived at the same moment, Cody took Esteban apart and tried to comfort him.

"Esteban, I know it must be hard for you to find this out. That Spencer is nothing more than a lying jerk who doesn't care about anyone's feelings."

"But I loved him… He was my everything, I couldn't imagine a life without him. But now it seems like I have been living a lie all the time. How could he lead me on like that!" Esteban cried into Cody's arms.

"I know Esteban, I know. It will be hard to forget about Spencer. But he's not worth it, he's not worth your tears or to waste your life. You've heard yourself how big of a backstabbing jerk he was. Or how demeaning he acts toward us gays."

"Us gays? Cody, you?" Esteban said looking to the younger of the Martin twins.

"Yes, Esteban. I'm gay too, and just like you that's perfectly normal. Also you're the first in the hotel, except mom and Zack of course, who knows. You're that important to us. Don't focus on that jerk, focus on the ones who really love you. And you know Esteban, someday you might find the right guy coming through the door."

Cody seemed to have found the right words. His own confession also made Esteban feel loved and special. A feeling Spencer had been giving him, but had been nothing but a fake.

It was at that moment Spencer arrived in the lobby. Esteban saw him, turned his head to Cody, who just nodded. Esteban took that as his key and walked over to Spencer.

"Ah, Esteban, dear. What's new about this havoc here?" Spencer said grinning.

"Yes, we have news, love. Your game is over, that's what's new." Esteban said whereafter he knocked Spencer down with just one fist.

Just when Spencer hit the floor, the police came running by, together with Zack and Mr. Moseby. They had been listening to the tape and had seen what Esteban had done to Spencer already.

"He's right, Spencer Moseby. Your games are over. We have enough evidence that relates you to many things in this hotel, not to mention the confession of stealing money here and planning another robbery. You might go to another hotel for a long time." One of the cops said while they got Spencer up and took him with him.

"Boys, I'm very proud of you. I don't think I can thank you enough." Mr. Moseby said to both Zack and Cody. After all they were the heroes who saved Mr. Moseby's job.

"But what about Ms. Schnitzel-thingie?" Zack asked

"Don't worry about her, we can get her another time." Mr. Moseby said to Zack, and as he saw one of the police men coming. "What will happen with my brother, sir?"

"Oh, he will be put away for some time. It all depends on the ruling, but with the evidence those boys provided I don't think that would be any problem." He said while giving both boys a fist pound for their good job.

"And this is the man who was lead on by that devious creature over there? Can believe he would do that to someone so beautiful as you. This may be a bit uncalled for, but if you want to go out with me some time? I think I really like you."

When Mr. Moseby, Zack and Cody heard that they were all flabbergasted and just looked at Esteban. But he couldn't say anything either. He was just staring at the police officer in amazement.

Cody was the first one who got a hold on reality again. It was clear to him, Esteban did like the cop too, and frankly he had to agree. That cop really looked hot.

"Esteban…" Cody said, while pointing at the police officer who was just waiting there.

"Oh yes… Of course I want to. What about this evening if I can get the evening off?" He said looking at Mr. Moseby with one eye. He just nodded, cause he knew this could be what Esteban needed.

As Esteban and the police officer went off to arrange their date, Cody suddenly started crying.

"Cody, what's wrong? You will find your perfect boy too, and sooner than you think." Zack said as he put his arm around Cody to comfort his little brother.

"I know… But that's not it. That cop stepped on my feet, and it really hurts!"

**The End.**

* * *

_**Notes on the pairing:**_

_Esteban has made many appearances throughout the SLOZAC._

_Spencer Moseby is Mr. Moseby's brother. He appeared in the SLOZAC episode – Moseby's Big Brother._


	7. Snapplelinz

**The Chef and The Busboy**

**By Snapplelinz**

The sun crept slowly through the blinds into the tiny bedroom. The alarm clock began buzzing loudly. Woody woke with a jerk of his neck and rubbed his bleary eyes with one hand while running a hand through his curly locks. It was 6am and he needed to get up and begin the day. He got out of bed and made his way to the tiny bathroom. After brushing his teeth, he splashed water haphazardly on his cheeks and rubbed his face vigorously with a towel. When he was finished with his toilette, he put on his black work pants and a short-sleeved white shirt over his boxers and vest, accompanied by a white apron which covered his torso. This picture might have seemed strange a few months ago. But now, the routine had become all too familiar for him. By now, he had begun to look forward to it.

At the ripe age of 19 years old, having graduated from Seven Seas Academy aboard the S.S. Tipton a few months ago, Woody Fink had never imagined that he would be spending his summer in Italy of all places. When he failed to express any interest in attending college back in the States, his parents had become concerned for his well-being. They were well aware that Woody's strong point had never been academics. But they worried this might lead to a sense of dislocation in the future. Then they heard about how Cody and Zack Martin had spent 24 hours working for Chef Gigi at her restaurant in Rome and just how tough she'd been on them, an idea began forming in their minds. Woody loved food and he needed discipline desperately. After speaking at length with Chef Gigi, Woody had been hired as a busboy at her restaurant and taken residence in the little apartment above the restaurant. Chef Gigi herself stayed off the premises in a villa of her own.

At first, it had been extremely difficult working under Chef Gigi. She was meticulous, demanding, quarrelsome and a host of other things that Woody had never liked in a woman. And he was terrible at his job. He broke numerous plates and glasses during his first week; he spilled food on the customers; he added the wrong measurements (and often the wrong ingredients) to Chef Gigi's meals, which led to hilarious and often disastrous results. Chef Gigi had come close to firing him on numerous occasions. But somewhere along the lines, Woody had gotten better at his job and inadvertently become an asset to Chef Gigi. He began learning Italian after his shifts at the restaurant; as a result, his tableside etiquette with the customers began to improve. He learnt a few techniques on how to balance the plates and glasses. And he finally figured out how to handle Chef Gigi, especially when she was experiencing 'womanly issues'.

His appearance had even begun to change. He had finally removed his braces and his usually dark brown frizzy hair had morphed into healthy strands of curly locks that went down to just pass his neck. During working hours, he traded in his thick-rimmed glasses for contact lenses. But late at night when he was washing the dishes, he put the thick rims back onto his face once more. His physique was the most dramatic change of them all. He had always been a chubby kid from a young age. But under Chef Gigi's strict eye (especially when it came to eating on the job), Woody had began to lose most of his baby fat, trading them in for a lean figure and noticeable muscles. To compensate for this sudden transformation, he had taken to jogging on the beach early in the morning or when his shifts finished early on slow days. When it came to loading millions of plates into the kitchen sink or assisting Chef Gigi with lifting heavy objects onto the metallic shelves, Woody was more than prepared for the task.

Woody had also begun to notice Chef Gigi after working alongside her for several months. She usually wore her long dark brown hair tied up in a tight bun while she worked in the kitchen or interacted with the customers. But every now and then when the restaurant was already closed for the night, she would sigh audibly as she loosened the hair clip and let her hair escape its confines. Whenever this occurred, Woody would watch with fascination as her dark tendrils (which were thick and straight) fell down over her shoulders, accentuating her lovely face. And she did have a lovely face, when she smiled, albeit on rare occasions when she wasn't yelling at a supplier or firing one of the staff.

Maybe it was just his imagination, but he got the impression that Chef Gigi preferred him of all the rest of her staff. But he shrugged that thought off as he began removing the chairs from atop the tables and arranging them correctly. If his Math was accurate, Chef Gigi was at least a good two decades older than him. Chef Gigi was immensely talent and beautiful. What interest would she have in a kid? But that didn't stop him from making himself as presentable in her presence or trying to impress her in some small way. And it didn't stop him from gazing at her sometimes during their busier shifts, marvelling at the way her eyes sparkled while she prepared her best dishes. This was definitely a long way from home and anything normal.

*****************

That same morning, Chef Gigi awoke a good half hour later than Woody and got out of her bed clumsily, clutching her face in a sleepy haze. She made her way to her plush bathroom and literally hopped into the shower. She stepped out of the shower several minutes later, feeling slightly more human and refreshed with the exception of the early hour. For a few seconds, she stood in front of the mirror with a towel wrapped around her torso, studying her face thoughtfully. At the age of 30, she knew that she still carried some vestiges of her youthful looks from a lifetime before. But she couldn't help but frown at the hints of wrinkles which creased the corners of her brownish-grey eyes. At least she didn't have to worry about laugh lines, since she rarely laughed or smiled for that matter.

Gigi had always been ambitious from a young age. When she made her first ever Ciabatta loaf at the age of 6, she'd known that she'd wanted to be a chef. Having grown up in a poor village just a few kilometres from Rome, Gigi worked several jobs throughout school to put herself through a prestigious cooking school. After numerous jobs as a waitress at many of Rome's least reputable restaurants, she finally saved up enough money to open her own restaurant. The arrival of customers brought with it fame, recognition and respect. And she had never let it anyone forget it. All of her hard work and determination had left her very little time to pursue other interests like travelling and falling in love. And everyone knew that Mr. Right didn't just waltz through your door, carrying a bouquet of flowers and a diamond ring. So she threw herself further into her work.

Gigi knew for a fact that her subordinates and most high-powered people were intimidated by her. Since her restaurant was her main focus, she set about to make it as close to perfection on a regular basis. Bossing other people around gave her a sense of direction and purpose. And if the waiters were completely incompetent, then there was an easy solution for them: unemployment. The only waiter who had seemed to evade unemployment or a flogging ironically was her newest waiter, Woody Fink. And he had certainly done enough to get blacklisted in the first week of employment. To this day, Gigi still didn't know why she had agreed to the Finks' proposal of sending their son to work for her. Perhaps it was a challenge. Or perhaps, it was Woody's innate ineptness that was too compelling to ignore.

Gigi had been sorely tempted to fire Woody on the spot when he dumped linguini all over the Prime Minister. But somehow she had decided against it at the sight of the pathetic look on Woody's face. That had been when he was still a chubby and bumbling pubescent adolescent. But now, he was quite a sight to behold. On certain occasions, she caught herself staring at his flexing arm muscles while he got up on the step ladder to put some of her heavier cooking utensils atop the metal shelves. On the days when she awoke around 5am, she could see him jogging along the beach not too far from her villa. Watching him jog along the golden sand had a soothing effect on her.

But apart from his newly acquired looks, Woody was always polite to her and tried to please her in one way or another, whether it be polishing the tables and chairs or adding fresh flowers to the vases each day. And then there were moments when he would defy those laugh lines of hers by causing her to laugh or smile at his silly jokes and tales. He had become quite accomplished in speaking Italian fluently with the customers, with the other waiters and with herself at times. She had never met anyone who had progressed as much in such a short space of time as Woody Fink. Every now and then, she would catch him looking at her before turning away with a sheepish blush. Or maybe she had imagined it. After all, why would a young man like him be looking at her? Woody was 19 years old and she was…older. If anything, he revered her professionalism, nothing more. The thought saddened her, if only for a moment.

She pushed that thought out of her mind as she began changing into her work clothes: white pants, white jacket and a red neckerchief which she tied around her neck. With a sigh, she fingered her wet hair one last time before brushing it and rolling it into a neat and tight bun. Then she was ready to start the day.

***************

Today was even busier than ever. It was just a few days away from Valentines and Gigi was putting together an assortment of sumptuous meals for the occasion. In addition, she had every staff member and lackey hanging decorations in honour of the occasion all around the restaurant.

"Be careful with my heart!" Gigi implored impatiently of one waitress who was trying to hang a gigantic heart-shaped decoration on the wall.

"I told you not to set that cutlery out on the tables for tonight's meal! Get the pewter cutlery!" Gigi commanded heatedly of another waiter who scurried back through the swinging doors of the kitchen.

"I asked for red roses! These look like shrivelled prunes! Go to the flower shop and buy me some fresh flowers!" Gigi instructed of a waitress who was attending to the flower arrangements.

"Get a hair cut!" she barked at an unsuspecting waiter with an unfortunate mullet.

"The next person who touches one of my gold stars and even so much as looks at my sauce will be fired! Capiche?" Gigi shrieked angrily, referring to her massive pot of bolognaise currently brewing in the kitchen.

"Why are you all still standing around like statues? We have an hour to prepare for dinner. Get to work!" Gigi commanded in a booming voice.

That did the trick as the waiters and waitresses began tripping and falling over one another to get their various jobs done. Gigi rolled her eyes and turned away from the hazardous scene.

"Incompetents! I am surrounded by incompetents!" Gigi fumed more to herself.

She groaned as the front desk telephone began ringing shrilly. She answered and attended to a customer who had made a reservation that night as courteously as possible. She replaced the receiver and sighed audibly. She glowered pointedly at the waiter who exited the kitchen with the pewter cutlery. He in turn cowered from her glare and moved towards the restaurant tables.

"Everyone, continue setting up the tables and the place settings. No one is to come into the kitchen while I am preparing tonight's meals." Gigi ordered sternly.

With that, she swept through the swinging doors. A few of the waiters and waitresses glanced at one another, shook their heads and continued working. They knew better than to interrupt Chef Gigi while she prepared her dishes. She enjoyed her privacy immensely.

Chef Gigi moved towards the cool steel counter and leant against it, closing her eyes. It was nearly 5pm and the new influx of customers was due to arrive for the evening reservations in an hour.

"Bad day?"

She opened her eyes to find that Woody had entered the kitchen and was addressing her now with a concerned expression on his face, which reflected through his circular spectacles.

"How did you get in here?" Gigi asked dumbly while glancing at the swinging doors.

"The back door. You sent me to take out the trash 5 minutes ago," Woody offered patiently, watching her expression all the while.

Gigi nodded in recognition as Woody washed his hands in the kitchen sink.

"So I did. Well, I'd better get started on tonight's dishes," she began swiftly.

"Let me get out of your hair then," Woody interjected promptly and made to exit through the swinging doors.

"Or you could stay and help me," Gigi suggested before she could stop herself.

"Huh?" Woody asked stupidly, his eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

"You could stay and help me prepare tonight's meals." Gigi repeated more confidently this time.

She frowned as Woody stood and ran a hand through his curly locks.

"You seem confused." She remarked pointedly.

"I am. You never let any of the other staff help you in the kitchen with the food." Woody pointed out in a quizzical tone.

"That's because the other staff are a bunch of incompetents who I wouldn't even let inside my garden to water my plants. You are the exception," Gigi answered seriously.

Woody's signature grin spread across his face, his pearly whites glistening against his tanned skin. A smile curled on Gigi's lips while she studied his elated expression.

"Well, okay then. What do you need help with?" Woody asked excitedly.

"You can help me prepare the tortellinis," Gigi instructed calmly.

Woody grabbed an apron from a coat rack in the corner and joined Chef Gigi at the steel counter as they began the preparations for making tortellini. Gigi instructed Woody in gentle tones on how to roll the dough till it was thin enough to see through. Gigi found herself looking up at the side of Woody's face, smiling inwardly at his look of euphoria. Woody watched in fascination as Gigi shaped and moulded the thin pastry delicately in her fingers to form pasta shells in the shapes of pyramids. Woody had been content to use a teaspoon to scoop small amounts of beef, spinach and cheese into the delicate pasta shells. But Gigi insisted that the best way to fill the shells was to use one's hands to place the various fillings inside the soft dough.

At first, Woody stood behind Gigi, looking over her shoulder while she showed him how to do it. Gigi concentrated very hard on folding the pastry and not on Woody's breath tickling the exposed skin on her neck. Then it was Woody's turn to fill the tortellinis. His hands, which were bigger than Gigi's more petite ones, struggled at first to stuff the shells adequately. Gigi's hands instinctively went towards his and aided him in filling the pastry with just enough ingredients so that the thin pastry wouldn't break. Woody tried to focus on the delicious food they were preparing and not on the fact that Chef Gigi's hands were touching his. Her fingers moved over his as they both delicately filled the shells with the necessary ingredients. Their fingers were gradually becoming greasy from the excess olive oil and tomato juice meshed together amidst the meat, vegetables and cheese. But they took no notice of this as their hands moved together in synchronization as they began sealing off the pasta shells at the edges with egg wash.

When they were finished, they stepped back to admire their handiwork. Woody glanced nervously at Chef Gigi's side profile, watching her expression intently. After several seconds, she turned to face him with an easy smile.

"The tortellinis are perfect," she murmured appreciatively, smiling broadly back at him.

She chuckled as Woody let out a loud sigh of relief and placed a hand on his chest in dramatic fashion.

"Phew! I passed the 'Chef Gigi Test of Excellence'." He murmured with a teasing smirk.

He chuckled while she rolled her eyes at him.

"I don't know about that. But at least you can rest assured that you won't be fired tonight." She reasoned evenly.

"Ooh, that's a loaded statement. I haven't even served the customers yet," Woody pointed out dryly.

Gigi shook her head and laughed openly while she moved towards the kitchen sink. Woody joined her a second later as they began washing their hands. After she had closed the faucets, Woody handed her a dish cloth, which she took gratefully. Their fingers grazed ever so slightly as Woody's hand fell from the cloth, sending a certain spark through their bodies. Woody ran a hand through his hair and grinned sheepishly while Gigi looked away, cleared her throat and blushed slightly.

"You should probably put the tortellinis in the pan now, Woody." Gigi instructed carefully in an effort to distract herself from her obscure thoughts.

"Right!" Woody exclaimed abruptly in an effort to clear his hazy mind from the feel of Chef Gigi's fingers on his.

He put the tortellinis on a tray and began placing them slowly in a greased pan atop the stove. Then he began helping her prepare the remaining dishes. While Gigi checked several of the pots boiling and stewing on the stove plates a little while later, Woody bent over her and removed the crispy tortellinis from the greasy pan. He placed the pan gingerly on a cooling rack and removed his oven gloves.

"Boy am I glad that I didn't burn your speciality to a blackened crisp," Woody confessed airily while wiping imaginary sweat off his brow.

"The only thing I'm glad about is that you finally know the difference between a tortellini and a tortelloni," Chef Gigi murmured knowingly.

"I wouldn't have known the difference if not for you. You've taught me so much, Chef Gigi." Woody responded earnestly.

This took Gigi completely by surprise. She had guessed at some form of exultation that Woody may have possessed for her. But the words still astounded her into unexpected silence. The compliment caused her to blush immensely.

"Well, I am glad that you have learnt something from me, Woody." She answered as stoically as possible, glancing at him momentarily.

"That's not all that I've learnt," Woody announced abruptly before he could stop himself.

Gigi studied his expression more closely, waiting for him to continue.

"You're a fantastic chef and you make amazing food. But I could've learnt that from a website. Underneath your bossy demeanour and intimidating stance, I see unswerving ambition and immense passion. And you're strong and beautiful. But more than that, you're honest and kinder than you'd probably dare to show. You're the first person who's ever taken me seriously in my whole life. You're the only person who's ever seen more than just a bumbling insecure kid. I'll always be grateful that you took a chance on me. And because of that, I'll never disappoint you." Woody declared sincerely, his eyes boring into hers.

Gigi's heart was hammering in her chest at Woody's words. People had told her in the past how talented she was. But no one had ever said it in a way that made her feel so exposed and unsure all at once. Before she could register her own movements, she moved in front of him slowly. Woody's eyes travelled down towards her hand as it rested gently on his cheek. Then she closed her eyes and leant in, her lips engulfing his in a chaste kiss filled with an emotion that she was sure she had never felt before. Woody's eyes remained open while his own lips moved uncertainly against hers. The kiss ended all too soon as Gigi pulled away from Woody, her eyes looking strangely moist and morose to him.

"Thank you, Woody. But you must never say that again," she whispered urgently and hoarsely as she turned away from him.

She gasped slightly as she felt a certain pressure on her wrist. She turned back and saw that Woody had grabbed her wrist, keeping her in place.

"I'm sorry, Gigi. But I can't make that promise." Woody declared firmly.

Then he took hold of her other wrist and pulled her even closer to his own body. Keeping her wrists in a vice-like grip, he leant forward and kissed her fiercely. Then he wheeled her around so that her back was now against the steel counter and he was in front of her. Then he let go of her wrists and yanked out her hair clip, releasing her long tendrils of hair in one swift manoeuvre. Then his hands were in her silky hair just like in his most vivid dreams, running through them urgently and lovingly. His rapid breathing which escaped his shuddering chest was making her head foggy with long repressed desire.

Gigi's immobile hands came alive and removed Woody's spectacles from his face and placed them on the counter to prevent her nose from continuously bumping against the glass frames. Once that obstacle had been taken care of, she wrapped her arms almost possessively around Woody's neck as her lips melded with his once more, smiling slowly against his mouth. Both their heads bent to the sides as their lips rose and fell against one another's, air and reason slowly becoming non-existent priorities for the time being. Woody's tongue ventured tentatively into Gigi's mouth, tracing its contours persistently. She moaned softly against his mouth as her hands moved towards his cheeks and cupped them forcefully, her own tongue tracing the curves of his soft lips. With a shuddering gasp, Woody finally pulled away from Gigi, his heart thumping wildly in his chest while he stared back at her. Gigi glanced tentatively upwards at him, her breathing coming out in shuddering wisps. She was the first to break the awkward silence.

"Well…that was um…different." She ventured abashedly while readjusting her red neckerchief, which had loosened of its own accord.

"Yeah, really different." Woody agreed rapidly while nodding solemnly.

"Thank you for helping me with preparing the food." Gigi blurted out abruptly.

"You're most welcome. I should probably go and help with setting the rest of the tables." Woody announced hesitantly while putting his spectacles back on.

Gigi found herself stopping Woody from exiting the kitchen once more with yet another untimely suggestion.

"There's bound to be a lot of left-over food tonight," she murmured unwittingly.

"Excuse me?" Woody asked quizzically.

"Left-over food. Usually, I like to dine alone after the restaurant is closed for the night. But sometimes, I like to dine with one member of my staff whom I haven't fired for the day. And since I haven't fired you today, I was wondering if you would like to join me for dinner tonight?" Chef Gigi asked in one breath.

Woody faced her with a steady gaze before responding.

"Are you asking me because I kissed you or in spite of kissing you?" he asked pointedly.

"In spite of kissing me. But only because I kissed you first. I doubt you would've kissed me if I hadn't initiated." Gigi countered assuredly.

"That's impossible, because I've wanted to kiss you since you yelled at me for spilling linguini all over the Prime Minister," Woody informed her seriously.

"Okay then, I'll take that as a yes." Gigi interjected while blushing profusely.

"You should. See you after closing time."

With one last wink in her direction, Woody finally exited the kitchen. Gigi stood exactly where he had left her seconds before, watching as the doors swung rhythmically back into place. She sighed loudly as she retrieved her hair clip and fastened her hair back into a tight bun once more. Then she too exited the kitchen to go yell at one of the waitresses.

"Were you in the kitchen this entire time?" one of the waiters asked of Woody in dismay while they polished the wine glasses.

"Uh huh. Chef Gigi wanted me to help her with making the tortellinis." Woody explained calmly.

"Wow. That must've been quite the experience," the waiter muttered sarcastically while rolling his eyes.

"You have no idea," Woody mumbled more to himself.

The rest of the evening passed in a blur as the restaurant filled with exuberant customers. The most Woody and Gigi saw of each other was in passing through the kitchen and the store room to get more ingredients for the kitchen. They both had to work hard at concealing their blushes whenever their fingers accidentally brushed against one another's. Gigi excused herself right before closing time, giving Woody the keys to lock up the restaurant and went to her villa to change.

When she returned to the restaurant around midnight in a stunning sea green dress reaching towards her knees which complimented her tanned skin and brown hair (which hung loosely over her shoulders), she was surprised to find a table already laid out with cutlery, two plates, two wine glasses, candles and a bottle of wine cooling in an ice bucket. Woody stood nervously in front of the table, wearing a long sleeved black dress shirt (rolled up towards the forearms) and black pants, his spectacles discarded for the time being. Gigi smiled broadly at him when he pulled out her chair for her, waiting for her to sit down before taking his seat alongside her. She couldn't help but grin at the portion of steaming tortellinis on two plates on the table.

At first, conversation was slow and awkward. But as they began eating, the conversation flowed more easily, as if between two friends reunited after years of separation. Gigi relayed many humorous childhood tales which had Woody snorting wine out his nose. He in turn told her about many of his escapades with the Martin twins aboard the S.S. Tipton, which had her covering her mouth with one hand to stop the tortellini from slipping out. Even when the conversation strayed towards subjects that one of them knew nothing about, the other would calmly and patiently explain so the talking never once wavered. Gigi smiled more in that evening than any other given day as she listened attentively to yet another one of Woody's crazy stories, pursing her hands under her chin while her elbows rested gently on the table. Woody too nodded along and smiled in parts while Gigi explained an array of complex instructions for making one of her many specialities.

As the meal drew to a close, Woody surprised Gigi by rising abruptly from his chair and came to stand next to her. She instinctively reached out and placed her hand in his outstretched hand as he led her quietly to the centre of the room. Gigi chuckled ever so slightly when Woody took both her hands in his and they began swaying to and fro. Gigi smiled and rested her head against his chest while Woody began singing a song by Andrea Bocelli in a low baritone that he knew she liked. While they danced together a little while longer, both couldn't help thinking that this was indeed a long way from home and everything else that they had still had yet to experience.

**The End**

**A/N: **

**If anyone else was picturing Ben Barnes as an older version of Woody Fink, raise your hand. ; ) I finally have the opportunity of introducing two of my characters for a 'Strange Love' one-shot. **

**Woody Fink (played by Matthew Timmon) as you all know, is a good friend of both Zack and Cody's aboard the S.S. Tipton and features frequently in seasons 1 and 2 of the 'Suite Life On Deck' series. Woody can be described at times as sloppy, often extremely unhygienic and unintelligent. Yet at the same time, he is a lovable character who is endearing and brings all-round laughter to the show. **

**Chef Gigi (played by Sandra Purpuro) is a famous Italian chef exalted by Cody for her delicious cuisine in the SLOD episode 'When In Rome'. In this episode, Chef Gigi is shown to be meticulous, quirky and has been known to have dinner with any of her staff whom she has not fired at the end of a shift. You should all check out Sandra Purpuro's pics on IMDB; this woman is smokin' hot. ; ) **

**A special thanks to Lodylodylody for inspiring this one-shot. I would've had zilch for this pairing if not for her : )**


	8. Silver Turtle II

**The Birthday Bash**

By SilverTurtle

Rating: T

****************

Alex Russo had never expected to be invited back onto the S.S. Tipton, particularly not after leaving such an…interesting impression the first time. But the formal invitation, signed by Marion Moseby himself, begged to differ with her thoughts. It lay on the foot of her bed telling her she was indeed invited back onto the giant cruise liner for a particular event: the 18th birthday party of the twins Zack and Cody Martin.

Naturally, Alex wasn't allowed to go. She had made some silly mistake with magic that had turned Max into a llama for two days and her parents were furious with her. She didn't see what the big deal was, Max had loved it! He'd said he'd always wanted to see what llamas thought, and now he knew. "Spitting distance," was all he would say when asked about it. Harper had been happy about it; she'd collected all the wool and knit herself a scarf, hat, and mittens. Justin had been away at college, but he'd berated her over email about how irresponsible she'd been. Psh, as if she cared what stuffy straight-laced Justin thought. Her parents hadn't been able to think up a suitable punishment for her until now; after all she's an adult and they could no longer ground her, they couldn't take away her wand, and they couldn't keep her from attending her local college courses. They could, however, refuse to loan her the money necessary to get her to the next port the S.S. Tipton docked at.

As if Alex would let a silly thing like money get in her way. Not even! Especially not when she knew the name of the port and had access to the I.P.P. (Inter-Wizard People Porter) not having the cash wasn't even a problem.

All she had to do was sneak down to the lair with her luggage and she'd be gone.

She loved it when her plans worked out.

****************

Corrie had never been on a boat this big before. Actually, she'd never been on a boat at all. So she was excited. She hoped she wouldn't get sea-sick. That would be bad.

When she'd gotten her invitation to Zack and Cody's birthday party aboard the S.S. Tipton she'd had a little trouble remembering who they were. She'd called up her idol-turned-friend London to ask and had been reminded of the two cutie-patooties that used to run around the hotel London had lived in. She couldn't imagine those two boys as adults, but she supposed everybody had to grow up sometime. And London said they were still cute, just in a hot way now.

Stepping onto the massive cruise ship with bag in tow shouldn't have been difficult. However, it appeared as if the boys had invited anyone they'd ever met to attend their party so actually getting on the boat was slow going. She ended up waiting next to a very pretty girl…one who looked a bit like London now that she thought about it.

****************

"Uhm…why are you staring at my face?" Alex asked the shorter woman next to her.

The woman giggled and said, "You're so pretty! And you look so much like her!"

Like that didn't creep Alex out. "Uh…"

"But don't worry. I know you're not her. She'd never wait in line like this." The woman's eyes grew wide as she shook her head slowly.

"That's…great-for-her?" Alex hazarded, this girl was starting to creep her out. The staring hadn't stopped and she kept leaning closer. With the crush of people around them Alex couldn't exactly back away. At least the woman was cute in a curious puppy sort of way. She supposed being studied like a bug under a microscope is less awkward when it's someone like this lady doing it, instead of like that sleaze-ball with the greasy hair she could see only a few feet away hitting on every woman within hearing distance with appalling lines like "Who wants to taste the Wayne-Bow?"

Alex nearly lost her lunch hearing him. He turned his sights in the direction of the two young women and Alex shuddered in horror. Vampires, zombies, dragons…she could face those down with no problem. Sleazy mortal men she hadn't yet found a sure-fire way of dealing with. Instinctively she tried to back away from him. Instead she bumped heavily into the staring woman. In a bid to save both of them from falling, Alex threw one arm around the girl's shoulders and dragged her close to counter-balance their momentum in the other direction. Thankfully, it worked. Falling down in this mass of people was a sure way to get trampled.

The woman Alex didn't know curled her arms around Alex's waist and leaned into her, helping them maintain their balance, but also making Alex feel really awkward. She wasn't one for physical displays with people she knew, much less with random strangers. "Hugs are nice. You smell nice. Like pine and vanilla. You give good hugs, too. I like hugs. They're nice."

"Uh…yeah…" And again, like that didn't weird Alex out. She remembered Juliet, Justin's one-time girlfriend and always a vampire, had once said that all wizards smell of pine. She wondered what sort of creature she had snuggled against her now. Anything would be better than that seedy dude though. She didn't even care if this girl was a mystical creature with weird feet, as long as she wasn't some horn-dog.

She looked up to see where the horn-dog had gotten to, only to see him grinning lecherously as he slowly moved his gaze between her and her random stranger and up and down their bodies. He was perving on them! It was then she realized how this position would look to an outsider. It would look like she and this girl were together. Together-together, dating, like girlfriends. It would also look like Alex was territorial and protecting her girl from any comers (the fact that she actually was territorial with her romantic partners not withstanding because this girl was not one of those). The slimy guy gave them another once over and licked his lips, then he turned away to harass some other poor soul.

Alex breathed a sigh of relief, unconsciously laying her head atop the shorter girl's. She felt the arms around her waist squeeze a little and heard the girl say more to herself than Alex, "Really good hugs." She decided that perhaps the girl wasn't some weird mythical creature with strange feet, just really friendly in a childlike way. Alex decided she'd see that as cute rather than irritating, like it would normally be.

"So, I'm Alex. What's your name?"

The shorter girl leaned back just enough to look wide-eyed up at Alex, and then she smiled one of the sweetest smiles Alex had ever seen and said, "I'm Corrie." Alex couldn't think of anything to do but smile back.

Thankfully that was about the time Mr. Moseby showed up with a bullhorn and room assignments and started letting people aboard.

****************

Coincidentally, she and Corrie were placed in the same room, which was fine by Alex. Now that Corrie had stopped staring at her and started talking to her like a normal person she found her quite pleasant to be around. Actually, she reminded Alex a little bit of Harper, mostly because her temperament was so accommodating but also because she was the slightest bit ditzy. And to be perfectly honest, she found the older girl's bubbly enthusiasm adorable. And Alex Russo did not find very many things adorable.

The party didn't start for several more hours yet, the boat had to get well out into the ocean before it could begin; apparently harbor officials had heard stories about the twins, and didn't want them anywhere near their harbors during a birthday bash, for fear a bash is exactly what would happen to their precious ports. That left guests with a lot of time to kill either to wander around the luxury cruise liner, or relax in their rooms, storing up energy for the party to come.

Alex, being a natural lay-about, chose to stay in her quarters. (Yes, she chose it. It had nothing to do with Mr. Moseby strictly forbidding her access to anywhere she might find some fun. Nothing at all).

Corrie was not a lay-about. She set her bags down and went in search of old friends in the form of London, Maddie, and Mary-Margaret all of whom she knew were aboard courtesy of Cody's voice mail. She had asked Alex along, wanting to show off her new friend who gave great hugs, but Alex had feigned exhaustion and collapsed on her bunk. Corrie had decided to leave her temporary roomie to her own devices and wandered off.

So while Alex napped, Corrie socialized until time came for the party and they presented themselves in a large ballroom with gifts in hand.

****************

Alex presented Cody with a mint-in-box Calico Woman action figure. Cody, overjoyed, had cried out "Bailey! Look at this! Calico Woman! This completes my collection! Oh, Alex, how did you know?"

Not wanting to say that Cody reminded her of her nerdy older brother, because she actually thought nerd was kind of cute on Cody, she decided to say, "Lucky guess."

Cody launched himself at her in an enthusiastic bear hug, lifting her and twirling until they were both laughing and breathless. Then he set her down and decided to express his glee to Bailey.

Zack had approached Alex from behind without her noticing and he suddenly piped up, "Hey beautiful, what'd ya get me?"

Alex jumped. She hated being snuck up on! But she turned to Zack with a smile etched on her features. "Well, for you Zack, I couldn't think of anything I could buy that would suit you." Meaning she'd spent all her money on the gift for Cody and had nothing to give to Zack. Until she'd come up with a brilliant idea, "So I've decided that I'll fulfill an ambition of yours from a few years ago."

"Oh?" Zack didn't really know how to respond to that. He recalled the first time Alex had been on the ship and he'd been trying to get her to see him as a potential boyfriend (well, not boyfriend so much as casual fling, but whatever). Intrigued he signaled her to continue.

"Yes. I won't date you, but I will dance with you. Tonight. Any dance of your choice." Alex declared it smugly, though she knew she'd probably regret it later.

"Any dance? Any time tonight?" Zack needed to clarify.

"One dance. Your choice. My gift to you."

Zack nodded thoughtfully, "Alright then. I reserve the right to request a song and you have to stay in the ballroom until my dance is claimed."

Alex narrowed her eyes, not liking conditions being placed on this, but nodded anyway with a plastic grin. She wasn't going to like this one bit, was she?

****************

Corrie had given the boys handmade gifts of a scarf (Cody), a painted t-shirt (Zack), and a kiss on the cheek each before wandering off to the buffet table where Mary-Margaret was taking full advantage of the all you can eat aspect of the evening. From there she had watched the boys receive all their gifts and seen the party reach full swing.

"This is so much fun!" She bubbled to her old friend.

Mary-Margaret nodded but dared not try to speak around her mouthful of eggroll.

"I can't believe we've all grown up so much! It's like…like…we're adults now, or something. Oh, it's so exciting!" Corrie clapped her hands together and bounced in an unconscious imitation of London. "And look at them. They used to be so little and cute and cuddle-able. Now they're all tall and handsome and muscle-y. It's so strange."

"Girl," Mary-Margaret began, "the only thing strange here are your thought process and maybe that coleslaw."

Corrie favored her old friend with a look meant to be menacing but came out more angry-kitten. Mary Margaret easily shrugged it off and pointed out to the dance floor, "Will you look as Zack boogying down?! Boy's got some moves! And who's that chick he's grinding with, never seen her before."

Corrie took a closer look and immediately recognized her current favorite hug-buddy. "That's Alex. She's a great hugger." She smiled dreamily and placed one hand to the side of her face remembering earlier in the afternoon.

Mary-Margaret gave her an odd look to match the one she was wearing, "And how would you know how well she hugs, hmm?"

"We hugged this afternoon. She smells so nice. Like pine and vanilla. And she knows just how to lean and it was so nice. She's really soft." The dreamy smile hadn't left her face, and didn't look likely to leave any time soon.

If Mary-Margaret thought that odd she decided not to mention it. Corrie had always been a little bit in the clouds, and she couldn't see the harm in letting her stay there for a bit longer if it made her happy.

It wasn't long before Corrie claimed she was sleepy and went off to find her room. Mary-Margaret watched her go, noting she still wore the dreamy absent expression and a faint grin tugging her lips

****************

Alex had never enjoyed dancing like this. She saw little point in the bump and grind method of dance. It wasn't sexy and it wasn't particularly fun, it was just dry humping set to music, and she was really starting to get freaked out because every time she tried to put a little distance between her and Zack he reached out and pulled her back in. She was just glad that she had agreed to only one dance. This was sweaty, gross, and unpleasant.

Finally the music came to an end. Alex tried to make a graceful escape, but Zack held to her wrist playfully. "One kiss for the birthday boy?"

Alex considered him carefully for a long moment. She swooped in and kissed his cheek then broke free and disappeared into the crowd.

He looked for her over the heads of the people, but couldn't find her. Then he looked to one of the exits and saw her retreating through it. He decided to follow, he couldn't just let a girl that pretty get away from him without at least trying for a date. He wouldn't be Zack Martin if he did.

****************

Alex knew he would follow her so as soon as she made it to the corridor she broke into a trot, cursing her lazy nature for making her winded much more quickly than she'd prefer. She turned a few corners and got into the right hallway to find her room, it was a straight shot from here so she broke into a run, knowing he was only a little way behind her.

She could see her door. She was almost there. Then Corrie opened the door and stepped out, looking up and confused to see her roommate in a rush. The door closed behind her and Alex let out a mental groan, so close. "Alex?"

Alex stood in front of Corrie, one arm above the girl's head support her leaning against the door. She knew Zack was right behind her, so in a desperate bid asked, "Play along? Please?"

Corrie looked confused but nodded.

Alex, taking that for the consent it was brought her free hand up to cup Corrie's jaw collecting herself for a short moment. Corrie's eyes had closed at the contact, her face turned up to Alex's, knowing what a touch like that usually led to. Alex felt Corrie's breath ghost warmly across her lips just before she closed the distance between them and kissed her.

Corrie absolutely melted into her, body molding to Alex's taller frame, one arm sliding around her waist and holding tight, the other sliding up until a hand was buried in the younger girl's hair. She had wanted to do this all day, since first seeing the girl, and especially when she'd been hugging her earlier feeling their bodies slide together so perfectly.

Alex really did give the best hugs, but Corrie was starting to think she gave even better kisses.

Zach, a few feet down the hall, stopped short and ogled. Mouth dropped comically open as he took in the glorious side view of this action. He may never get a date from either of them, but he couldn't stop himself from thinking this was the best birthday present ever.

****************

**THE END**

(This story also appears in the Strange Love: After Hours collection...with an extended ending that is only suitable for mature audiences).

* * *

**Notes on the Pairing:**

Alex Russo is a character from Wizards of Waverly Place, played by Selena Gomez, and appeared in 2 of the 3 episode epic crossover adventure - Wizards On Deck with Hannah Montana.

Corrie is a classmate who went to Catholic school with Maddie and London. She made a few appearances on the SLOZAC, the first being the episode Forever Plaid. She is played by Vanessa Hudgens (of HSM fame).


	9. The Hurricane 13 II

**At the Club**

by The Hurricane 13

*****************

Zack took a seat near the bar to wait for Cody to come back from the bathroom. The brothers were in Boston on Christmas break and had decided to hit the teen club with some of their friends. Barbara and Bob were on the dance floor and Max, Tapeworm, Jessica, and Janice were in the arcade. The young crowd was electric as one of Zack's favorite songs, 'Right Round' by Flo Rida, was blasting through the speakers. Zack smiled and tapped his foot to the music as he soaked in all of the goings on around him. Suddenly, he felt a tap at his shoulder and turned around expecting to see Cody. Instead, was a tall skinny blonde girl that Zack immediately recognized.

"Oh, God... not her," he thought to himself.

"OHMIGOD! CODY!!" the girl said, her voice already grating on Zack's nerves.

"No, I'm Zack, but Cody's here if you want to go look for him," Zack said over the loud music. He thought maybe if he pretended not to know the girl, she would go away. Instead, she sat down in the booth right next to him.

"Don't you remember me, silly?" the girl said. "It's Cassandra! I used to date Mark!"

"No, I remember you," Zack said. "You know, the bench on the other side of the table is empty if you wanna move over there."

"Huh? I'm sorry, I can't hear you over this music," Cassandra said, "You wanna go somewhere quieter so we can hear each other talk?"

"What makes you think I wanna hear you talk?" Zack said, not quite loud enough for Cassandra to hear him.

"What?"

"I said I can hear you just fine. Let's talk," Zack said, this time speaking over the music.

Zack was in agony as Cassandra talked almost nonstop for the next five minutes. With each 'omigod' and 'like,' Zack got more and more annoyed. At one point, he pulled his cell out of his pocket and held it under the table and sent Cody a text.

"Where R U? Come Save Me!"

As Cassandra continued blabbering, Zack tried to think of a way to escape. Unfortunately, the ditzy blonde was sitting between him and freedom and he couldn't get a word in. Finally an idea popped into his head. If she wouldn't stop talking, he would have to find a way to shut her up. There was only one way he could think of to do that. He quickly leaned forward while she was in the middle of a sentence, grabbed the back of her head, and caught her completely off guard by kissing her.   At first, Cassandra didn't know how to react, but after a few seconds she relaxed and started getting into it. Zack himself wasn't particularly enjoying it at first either. The girl was very pretty, no doubt, but Zack couldn't stand her. She made London look like a rocket scientist. As he felt her relax, though, he caught himself getting into it. When their tongues met, he forgot why he was doing it in the first place.

The make out session lasted several minutes until Zack felt another tap on his shoulder and heard a loud "AHEM!"

He removed his tongue from Cassandra's mouth and looked up to see Cody standing over them.

"Um... I have to be going, but, omigod, you, like, HAVE to call me this weekend so we can get together," Cassandra said as she quickly stood up in embarrassment.

"Actually, we're going back to the ship this week so... yeah," Zack said.

Cassandra leaned in close to his ear.

"I'll wait for you," she whispered before giving him a quick kiss on the cheek and turning away.

Cody took a seat at the table across from his brother and they sat in awkward silence for a few minutes before Cody finally spoke up.

"I thought you hated her," the younger twin asked, puzzled.

"I do," Zack responded with a smile, "but I had to shut her up."

**The End.**

**

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**

**Notes on the pairing:**

Everyone knows Zack.

Cassandra appeared (as Mark's date) in the SLOZAC episode – A Tale of Two Houses.


	10. James Doyle II

**Wayne't That Just the Way Love Goes**

By

James Doyle

One rainy Boston morning, Wayne Wormser arrived promptly at his long-time place of business, the Paul Revere Mini-Mart. After performing the usual administrative tasks, the pudgy, awkward young man locked the doors, reversed the sign to "Open," and took his station at the register. A few minutes later, an attractive dark-haired woman in her late twenties, clad in a purple business skirt-suit, approached the register.

"Can I help you, ma'am?" offered Wayne.

"Yes," said the woman. "I'd like to purchase two lottery tickets please."

"Certainly," said Wayne as he worked the lottery machine. "Say, would you like to meet for lunch?"

"I really don't think that's appropriate," admonished the woman.

"Ah, come on," prodded Wayne as he handed the lady her tickets. "You've gotta play if you wanna Wayne!"

"How dare you!" protested the lady as she snatched her lottery tickets from Wayne, slammed her money down on the conveyor belt, and stomped out of the store.

'Real smooth, Wayne!' he scolded himself.

As full of himself as he seemed to the outside observer, Wayne knew that he'd never been much good with women. He'd also never been good in school, and indeed had failed to gain acceptance to any post-secondary institution. In fact, he'd only ever been good at one thing, and that was managing the Paul Revere Mini-Mart. Even though Wayne ran the store in every meaningful sense, he still held the title of Assistant Manager. The title of Manager belonged to the owner's son, a shiftless drunk who rarely could be bothered to show up for work.

As well as Wayne did his job, however, he could hardly staff the store by himself. He'd had a number of baggers come and go over the years, but he would always have fond memories of the Martin twins. Though they'd gotten off to a rocky start, the twins proved themselves to be the most capable and hard-working employees he'd ever had the privilege of supervising.

Once they'd left for sea school, however, Wayne had once again to contend with the long string of junkies, ex-cons, immigrants who spoke little (if any) English, and dumb kids who'd never done a hard day's work in their life that made him so reluctant to put the "Help Wanted" sign in the window yet again. Little did Wayne realize, all of that was about to change.

Around one in the afternoon, a young woman entered the store. She stood about five-foot-four, with a slim build, long dark brown hair, prominent cheekbones; brown eyes shaped like those of a cat, and wore a skirt that displayed her long legs. Near as Wayne could tell, she appeared to be in her late teens or early twenties. Normally, Wayne would be drooling all over the floor at the sight of such a woman. However, the blow to his ego he'd received that morning left him less than enthusiastic.

"How can I help you?" asked Wayne, sitting on his stool behind the register, not looking up from his newspaper.

"I saw your 'Help Wanted' sign," said the young lady in a high-pitched, somewhat nasal (but not annoyingly so) voice. "Has the position been filled?"

"No, ma'am," said Wayne.

"I'd like to fill out an application please," requested the young lady.

"Of course," said Wayne as he headed back into the office to retrieve an application for her. "I'll just be a minute."

For some reason, the young lady looked familiar to Wayne. Suddenly, it dawned on him.

"Hey, I know who you are!" exclaimed Wayne as he came running out of the office. "You're that girl who got into a cat-fight with London Tipton over her lifeguard boyfriend."

"I don't know what you're talking about," denied the young woman.

Wayne placed his London Tipton scrapbook on the counter and opened it to a clipped from the Global Enquirer, which clearly displayed London and the young woman who now stood before him ripping each other's hair out on one of the lobby couches.

"That's definitely you," noted Wayne.

The young woman sighed. "Fine, I admit it! And it was the biggest mistake of my life. They fired me down at the Halibut Hangout when they saw my picture in the tabloids. I was working my way through school with that job. I've been living with my aunt who's threatening to throw me out if I don't start contributing to the rent. So I came here."

The young woman began to cry.

"Whoa, whoa, don't do that!" consoled Wayne.

"Why shouldn't I?" asked the young woman. "No one's ever going to give me a job with these pictures out there!"

Wayne definitely sympathized, and had always had a weak-spot for women who blubbered in front of him.

"Consider the job yours," offered Wayne.

"You're hiring me because you feel sorry for me," accused the young woman.

"Maybe," conceded Wayne. "But I know what it's like not to have a lot of options. Do you want the job or not?"

"Yes," sniffled the young woman.

"Good," said Wayne. "I just need you to fill out this application as a formality. You can start today if you want."

"Thank you, sir," said the young woman.

Wayne smiled. "Don't call me 'sir': I work for a living," said Wayne, extending his hand. "I'm Wayne."

"Wanda," she replied, shaking his hand.

"Pleased to meet you, Wanda," said Wayne. "Welcome to the Paul Revere family."

Throughout the rest of the day, Wayne took the time between customers to familiarize his new employee with the fundamentals of bagging, stock-rotation, and general cleaning. Over the next several weeks, Wanda proved herself to be a model employee: Fast, punctual, competent, and always cordial and helpful to the customers. In fact, Wayne noticed a considerable increase in repeat business since Wanda had started. Furthermore, she seemed not only willing, but also eager to work the extra hours Wayne needed to keep the business afloat in those tough economic times.

"Wayne," called Wanda as she finished restocking the cat food.

"What's up, Wanda?" asked Wayne.

"I couldn't help but notice that the 'Help Wanted' sign was back in the window," observed Wanda. "Did I do something wrong?"

"Oh no, not at all!" assured Wayne. "Actually, I've been meaning to talk to you about that. Assuming I can hire the right people, I'm gonna need you to train a couple of new baggers so I can promote you to cashier."

"Are you serious?" asked Wanda.

"As a heart attack," replied Wayne. "Which is what I'm gonna have if I don't get some help at the register. We've never done this good."

"I'm so glad I found this job," gushed Wanda. "I can't imagine what I'd have done if you hadn't hired me."

"Hey, you got the job, and I'm getting all this new business," said Wayne. "Sounds like a Wayne-Wayne situation to me."

Wanda laughed.

"What's so funny?" asked Wayne, unaccustomed to anyone actually laughing at his jokes.

"You are," replied Wanda. "Your jokes, I mean."

"Thanks for clarifying that," said Wayne.

"Not a problem," said Wanda. "You're the best boss I've ever had. I really don't want to screw this up."

Wayne hired two boys named Jim and Rashon as baggers. Over the next several weeks, business picked up so much that he had to hire an additional bagger and promote both Wanda and Rashon to cashier.

One day, during a lull in the action, Wayne stopped for the first time in over two months to take a long look at Wanda. Even with her hair pinned up and wearing an apron, he couldn't deny how beautiful she was. Not only that, but he treasured those little moments between customers more than anything else in his life. It was then he realized that he felt something for her. Something entirely different from his stalker-crush on London Tipton, and from the lust he felt for the customers to which he made inappropriate advances.

Wayne realized that he was falling in love with Wanda. It made his heart sink, for he couldn't imagine a woman as incredible as her ever falling for a guy like him. Still, he had to try. And he wasn't thinking of one of his cheesy pickup lines. No, he had to make a chivalrous and sincere effort at letting Wanda know how he felt.

"Wanda," said Wayne one evening as they were closing up. "Listen, I know I gave you tomorrow night off..."

"Wayne," interrupted Wanda. "If you need me to work, just say so. I really don't mind."

"No, no," continued Wayne. "I want you to enjoy your night off. In fact, I'm taking the night off, too. I have a couple of tickets to an oldies dance, and I'm not sure how appropriate this is, being your boss, but I was wondering if you'd like to go with me."

Wanda frowned. "That dance is at the Tipton, Wayne. I'm not allowed in there anymore."

"Oh, don't worry about that," assured Wayne. "Esteban, the new manager, is very understanding. I already asked him about it."

"Well, in that case," said Wanda, stopping to think about it. "Sure, why not?"

Wayne didn't know where Wanda lived, and didn't feel ready to ask for that information just yet.

"So I'll meet you there, about seven?"

"Sounds good," confirmed Wanda as she left. "Good night, Wayne."

"Good night, Wanda."

As soon as Wanda left, Wayne jumped about three feet off the floor.

"Yes!" he exclaimed before doing his "Wayne Train" dance. "Chug-a chug-a chug-a chug-a choo choo choo..."

The following evening, Wanda arrived in the Tipton lobby, clad in a kitten skirt and matching top, where Wayne awaited her, clad in his usual jacket and tie.

"Wow!" marveled Wayne. "You look amazing!"

"Thanks," accepted Wanda. "It belonged to my grandmother. You look nice, too."

"You don't have to say that," dismissed Wayne. "It's the only jacket I own."

"You got dressed up," encouraged Wanda. "That's what counts."

Wayne smiled as he offered his date an arm. "Shall we?"

Wayne and Wanda had the time of their lives as they danced the night away to classics by greats such as Chuck Berry, Elvis Presley, Chubby Checker, and Johnny Cash. Finally, a slow song came on, and Wayne hesitated to put his arms around Wanda before she decided to draw him in herself.

"I'm having a really good time," said Wanda.

"I'm glad," said Wayne.

"Probably the best time I've had since I broke up with Lance," added Wanda.

"Fish-boy?" reacted Wayne, obviously uncomfortable hearing about his date's ex-boyfriend.

Wanda sighed. "Yeah. I thought he and I had something. Then I saw the way he looked at London, and I just didn't think I could ever trust him again."

"And what about me?" asked Wayne.

"You're just the opposite," answered Wanda. "To be honest, I'd heard all kinds of stories about you, and I was really desperate when I applied for the job."

Wayne snorted. "My reputation precedes me."

"But they were all wrong," continued Wanda. "Wayne, you're a wonderful guy, and I'm glad I stuck around to find that out."

Wayne smiled. "Wonderful enough to let me kiss you?"

Wayne didn't wait for an answer, but plunged forward and pressed his lips to hers. After the initial shock, Wanda began to kiss him back. Both felt the overwhelming urge to deepen the kiss, but were painfully aware of the number of people watching them.

"I think I should take you home," suggested Wayne.

"That's a good idea," agreed Wanda.

The two of them took several minutes to get up the steps to Wanda's apartment, stopping at random intervals to attack each other's lips.

"This is my place," announced Wanda as Wayne pushed her up against the door.

Wayne stopped for a moment. "Then I guess it's time to say goodnight."

Wanda grinned devilishly. "Not while my aunt's out of town visiting my grandma, it isn't."

After that night, Wayne and Wanda continued to see each other whenever they had time. At work, they kept things as professional as possible, but everyone could tell from the way they looked at each other that something was going on between them.

"What are you doing here with me?" asked Wayne one day as he and Wanda went for lunch at a deli around the corner.

"You asked me to lunch, silly," giggled Wanda.

"No, I mean, why are you still at Paul Revere," clarified Wayne. "I mean, I'm probably going to be in the grocery business for the rest of my life. And I'm okay with that. But you? You were meant for so much more."

"Did you ever stop to think maybe I like it here?" Wanda asked rhetorically.

"Really?" responded Wayne.

"Yes," answered Wanda. "I had no idea what I wanted to do when I was going to college. But since I've started working at Paul Revere, I've realized that doing a hard day's work and helping customers makes me feel good about myself."

"I'm glad," said Wayne. "I'd hate to think you were staying just because of me."

Wanda placed her hand on his face. "Even if that were true, is that really such a bad reason to stay?"

When they returned from lunch, Wayne found an e-mail awaiting him.

"Wanda, you've gotta come see this!" called Wayne after reading the message.

"What is it?" asked Wanda as she came running in.

"The owner wants to expand the business," announced Wayne. "He wants to move the store into a larger property. He's going to fire his son and oversee the project personally. He says he's going to need two assistant managers."

"Does that mean..." began Wanda.

"Yep," confirmed Wayne. "You're getting a promotion, and we're both getting a raise."

"Oh Wayne, that is so awesome," cried Wanda as she threw her arms around Wayne and kissed him.

"Whoa, babe!" cautioned Wayne. "Not at work."

"Right, sorry," apologized Wanda, wiping her hands on her pants as she brought them back to her sides.

Wayne never found out if that lottery ticket he'd sold that woman the day he'd met Wanda had paid off. He assumed not. It didn't matter anyway, because Wayne knew he was the real winner. Having spent most of his life covering his insecurities with false pride, he now felt a genuine sense of accomplishment, and had a successful career ahead of him, and a bright future with the woman of his dreams.

What precisely the future held for them is another story. Suffice to say, the Wayne Train was tracking at full speed.

**The End**

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My assigned pairing was Wayne and Wanda.

Wayne appeared in two episodes as the assistant manager of the Paul Revere mini-mart, and Cody (and later Zack's) boss. He had an extremely creepy crush on London Tipton that Cody attempted to exploit to get a job at Paul Revere.

Wanda was a hostess at the Halibut Hangout (presumably a restaurant), who dressed as a mermaid, for whom Lance (the lifeguard) dumped London. She and London slugged it out (so to speak) when London tried one of her ill-conceived schemes to win Lance back.

Thanks for reading!


	11. Silver Turtle III

**Ambition**

By SilverTurtle

Rating: T

**************

Mary-Margaret looked across the lobby at the man of her dreams.

He stood behind the check-in desk of the Tipton Hotel, busily making adjustments to log books and speaking to customers over the phone. His suit neatly pressed, tie perfectly in place. He was the very image of the successful manager.

Dark, soulful eyes. Full pouty lips. Killer smile. Adorable ears. Smooth dusky skin. He was a gorgeous specimen of a man.

And what a body!

He might not be the tallest of men, but he was built. She could tell. His shoulders, straight and broad, were perfect for lifting weights (or women) and manfully handling them. His hands, rough and strong, could also be soft and gentle (she knew because he'd shaken hers when they met, she had felt how he'd held back from using his full strength and crushing her hand). His stomach, as near as she could tell, was flat and (she imagined) chiseled. His legs strong (they'd have to be, chasing Zack and Cody around the hotel for hours on end). And so very graceful (she'd seen him dance many a time, and he could move those hips. Mm!). Yes, he was a man in great shape.

And Mary-Margaret wanted him more than she wanted Corrie to be muzzled.

She was resolved.

One day, she, Mary-Margaret, would be Mrs. Marion Moseby.

**************

**THE END**

(There is also an M-Rated version of this pairing by SilverTurtle in the Strange Love: After Hours collection).

**Notes on the Pairing: **

Mary-Margaret is a girl who went to school with London and Maddie, and is a friend to both (though it was touch and go for her and London for a while there). She appeared in several episodes of The Suite Life of Zack and Cody and was played by Monique Coleman.

Marion Moseby is the manager of the Boston Tipton Hotel and the S.S. Tipton and a kind of stand-in father figure for London. He often spends his time chasing down Zack and Cody for various troubles they've caused. He appears in both The Suite Life of Zack and Cody and The Suite Life on Deck and is played by Phill Lewis.


	12. Fizzy Starburst

**Untitled**

by Fizzy Starburst

The stars were shining brightly over the local park. Many couples, both young and old, were strolling around the park, holding hands, smiling, and kissing, on this beautifully warm star-lit night.

In all honesty, this made Ella sad. She was alone. Nobody to hold her hand, to kiss her, to smile at her as if she was the most perfect thing in the world. She sat alone on a park bench, sighing softly to herself.   Suddenly, she heard music playing. The most beautiful music she'd ever heard. The guitar was so smooth, so passionate, she loved it. And the voice, oh that voice! It was angelic! She got up from her bench to find the source of this lovely sound.  She found Luca playing in the corner of the park. He was cute, in her opinion. Very cute. She had seen him before, playing his music, though he'd never really stood out from the others until tonight. Tonight, something was undoubtedly different. Maybe it was the song he was playing, maybe it was the adorable outfit he had on, or maybe, just maybe, it was the undeniable sense of romance floating through the air.   She sat herself among the crowd of admirer's. She smiled, as she let his wondrous music float through the air. How long she sat there, she had no idea. Minutes? Hours? It had all felt like mere seconds. As he finished, many of the other watchers in the crowd started giving him tips.

Just as she was about to reach inside of her purse, as well, she heard him say, "I don't play for money. I play for the love of playing."

This made all the girls who were around sigh dreamily.

One of those many girls than asked, "So, are you doing anything later?"

Ella frowned. She wasn't the only one attracted to him.

Her face then brightened up as she heard him say "Yes, actually I do. I'm terribly sorry."

"Oh?" The other girl asked "Well then how about..."

"I'm sorry," he apologized once more. "But I'm already in a relationship. A great one, in fact."

The accent made Ella swoon, but the words made her want to cry.   Within a few minutes, everyone, including Ella herself, had made thier way past Luca, and back on their evening stroll in the park. Ella glanced down at her watch for a second to see what time it was, but that second was all it took. The next thing she knew, she'd fallen onto the ground.

She then heard that angelic voice say "Oh, pardon me! I am very sorry."

She smiled up at him. "It's okay." She assured him, "I wasn't looking at where I was going."

"I apologize again, You see, I'm supposed to meet my girlfriend, and I'm already very late."

She looked up at him and said, "She's a lucky girl."

He smiled back, and took off.

**The End.**

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**Notes on the pairing:**

Luca was street musician in the SLOD episode – When in Rome.

Ella was Zack's date in the SLOZAC episode – Minature Golf.


	13. Hurricane 13 III

**Cougar**

by The Hurricane 13

*****************

After returning to Boston after his wedding aboard the S.S. Tipton, Esteban couldn't wait to show everyone the pictures that were taken during the trip. Carey, Arwin, Norman, Irene, and Patrick were all gathered around in the lobby waiting.   Words of encouragement and congratulations starting coming from everyone at once.

"Oh, look at my boys!" Carey said, "They're so handsome in their little suits!"

"Wow, who's that?" Arwin said, pointing to a lady with her arm around Esteban in one of the pictures. "She's hot!"

"Arwin, that is my mother," Esteban answered in his thick accent.

"Esteban, I didn't know you had such a beautiful mother," Arwin said.

"Oh, gracias, Arwin."

** ***************

Later that evening after Arwin had finished up all of his work and was getting ready to go home, he sat down on one of the sofas in the lobby of the hotel. All of the customers were already in their rooms and Esteban, who was the assistant night manager, was away from the front desk leaving Arwin alone. As he was checking his toolbox to make sure everything was in its place, Arwin heard someone come in through the front door. He look up and saw Esteban's mother standing at the check-in desk. His jaw nearly hit the floor as he was stunned by her beauty.

"Escuse me," Senora Ramirez said, "Do shoe know where Esteban ees?"

Arwin thought her accent made Esteban's sound like perfect English.

"Uh... yeah... he... uh... he'll be back in a minute," Arwin said nervously.

"Shoe are berry hansome," Senora Ramirez said as she approached Arwin. "Stan up. Lemme take a look atchyou."

Arwin nervously stood up as Esteban's mother checked him out.

"Shoe know, I haf been wit out husband for a long time."

"Oh... I'm sorry to hear that..." Arwin said.

"No, hees no dead!" She laughed, "Hees jus no good!"

"Oh... ha ha... um... well... I think Esteban will be back soon so... maybe... if you just... wait over there for him..."

As Arwin spoke, Senora Ramirez moved closer and closer until she was standing mere inches from in front of him.

"Forget heem. Maybe I visit shoe instead!"

"Um... I... really should be going."

"Don' be silly. Shoe haf nowhere to go. Why don' you kees me?"

Arwin tried to respond, but before he was able to let out more than a whimper, Senora Ramirez grabbed him by the shirt and jerked him into a kiss. At first, he tried to resist, but it was useless. Her big, soft lips just felt so good and soon he found himself dueling with her, their tongues in place of swords. Senora Ramirez jumped up and wrapped her arms and legs around the ecstatic maintenance man. He wasn't able to hold her up for long and the two tumbled onto the sofa and resumed their kiss.

Soon, Senora Ramirez began unbuttoning her blouse and was preparing to have her way with her newfound lover right there in the lobby, but Arwin heard a voice. It was faint at first, but was getting louder. Soon he realized it was calling his name. He tried to look past the lady that was sitting on top of him and didn't see anyone else in the lobby.

The voice stopped for a moment. And then...  "ARWIN!!"

*****************

Arwin sat up fast on the sofa, startled. As he started to gather himself and overcome the shock, he looked around to find that Senora Ramirez had seemingly disappeared, but someone else was now standing over him.

"You awake, buddy?" Skippy, the night manager, asked.

"Uh... yeah," Arwin said, groggily. "Where's Senora Ramirez?"

"Where's who?"

"Senora... never mind," Arwin said, as he began to realize what had happened.

"Look, I don't know who Senora Whatchacallit is, but I didn't figure you wanted to spend the night here in the lobby so I decided to wake you up. Sorry if I startled you."

"No... no. It's okay. Thanks, Skippy," Arwin said. "I must have fallen asleep."

**The End**.

* * *

**Notes on the pairing:**

Arwin is the lovable hotel handyman from the SLOZAC.

Senora Ramirez (played by the one and only Charo) is Esteban's mother. She appeared in the SLOD episode – Mother of the Groom.


	14. Waldojeffers II

**Broken Dreams**

by Waldojeffers

*****************

Cody Martin had never seen a more exciting game of basketball. His team was probably playing their best game ever. They were on the verge of beating the number one team in their youth league, a team that had been undefeated so far this season. Such a victory would be an incredible boost for Cody's team, for they weren't among the best in the league. Far from it actually.

No wonder Cody was prepared to play on his best if he were needed in the final quarter. But he would never have the chance. It was like his brother always said, he really sucked at basketball…at most sports for that matter. So all Cody could do was cheer his team on from the bench.

And he had plenty to cheer about. Zack was playing at his best, making both his mother and twin very proud. Cody didn't always like to admit it, but his brother really was a great player. It sucked to be compared to Zack at basketball.

But the best player on the team today wasn't Zack. Actually it was never Zack. Jamie had been their best player for some time. In fact Jamie was so good, the other players wondered why he was still on their team. He could have played on any of the top teams in their league. But Jamie always refused that. He always said he cared less about the team's record and more about playing basketball with his friends.

It wasn't Jamie though who decided the game. Zack was the one who scored the winning free throw at the buzzer and gave their team an exciting win.

As soon as the game was over Cody spurted toward Zack, who had been celebrating with Jamie, and threw his arms around his brother. Cody was so proud of Zack that he couldn't resist doing that. Though hesitant to admit it, Zack really was his hero. And not only for his basketball skills.

Jamie looked a bit lost while the two Martin twins were hugging next to him. It was like he was searching for someone but couldn't find him anywhere. This seemed to make Jamie a bit sad.

"Oh, Jamie. Almost forgot to tell you, but your boyfriend should be here any minute. He couldn't make it on time but texted me," Cody told their friend.

"Wait a second... Cody, did you just say boyfriend? What is going on here? Why don't I know?" A confused Zack asked before Jamie even could say something.

"Um yeah… Zack, don't you remember Jamie coming out to us a few weeks ago? And introducing his boyfriend, Tony?" Cody answered his brother.

"Oh, how come I don't remember that?"

"You were probably too busy playing that new videogame dad bought us. You should really pay more attention to your friends," Cody lectured Zack.

"Guys, would you mind having your domestic discussions at home?" Jamie told the Martin twins who were squabbling like an old married couple. "So Cody, when will Tony be here?"

"He should be here right … about … now." Cody replied slowly while Tony was just walking in. Causing Jamie to run over to his boyfriend.

"Cody... Does it look like they're fighting? Or is it just me?" Zack asked when he saw the two boyfriends weren't exactly sharing kisses with each other.

Cody noticed the same thing happening of course, but unlike his brother he knew the two of them probably could use some privacy. He knew better than to mix into people's personal lives. Certainly when one of them was their best friend. So Cody just took off to the changing room, taking Zack with him, and leaving Jamie and Tony completely alone in the hall.

* * *

"Tony! Where were you? You promised to be at all my games!" Jamie yelled at Tony when he reached the darker skinned boy.

"I had audition, baby. Didn't I tell you?"

"No, you didn't. And you know as well as I do, this isn't the first time," Jamie replied, still mad that Tony had let him down again.

"Come on, Jamie! You weren't at my audition either, you know how important those are for me," Tony yelled.

"This game was scheduled for weeks! We agreed to go to all my games and your plays. And you know how boring your theater stuff always is! I fell asleep last time for crying out loud!"

"You fell asleep?! That was my best performance ever. Everybody thought it was a great play and that I was really talented. And what did my boyfriend do? He just fell asleep. You're a pathetic jerk!" Tony yelled at his boyfriend before he pushed him, causing Jamie to fall over.

Both boys went silent after that happened. Jamie hadn't really hurt himself but he did felt hurt on the inside. The first weeks with Tony had been fantastic. It had felt like an early honeymoon. Jamie had been nervous about coming-out, but Tony had made those fears disappear. He really loved Tony.

But now they were having more and more fights like this. They had been fighting about the most stupid things. But their most frequent conflict had been over both of their hobbies. Jamie didn't like theater; in fact it bored him to tears. And Tony felt the same about basketball. Still they had decided that, as boyfriends, they should support each other and be at each others performances whether it was a play or a game.

Of course that agreement hadn't lasted long. Jamie had fallen asleep at every one of Tony's plays so far. And Tony always managed to arrive late at Jamie's basketball games. It was easy to see their relationship had become very tense. But they never had gone as far as using physical violence before.

That was exactly what was bothering both of them now. They knew they were going too far. But at the same time both were still madly in love with each other.

Jamie finally got up, but instead of being mad at Tony he was in tears. He realized they couldn't go on like this. And when he saw Tony's face he knew he was thinking the same. For he was in tears as well. He knew he shouldn't have pushed Jamie.

"Tony… We can't go on like this. We're always fighting over the same thing. And you even pushed me today. Soon we'll be fighting for real if we keep this up." Jamie said grabbing Tony's hands and bringing them to his face.

"I know… I'm so sorry, love. I didn't mean to… I don't want to lose you!"

"Ssst, it's ok Tony. I know you didn't mean it like that. And I don't want to lose you either, you're the best thing that ever could have happened to me." He assured his boyfriend before he pulled him into a comforting hug.

"You're right Jamie. We can't go on like this, we need to support each other. But I can't help it, your basketball really bores me. And I need you to be at my plays. You're my good luck charm."

"That's so sweet… But I need you here too, Tony. Without you here it just isn't the same. I play so much better when you're watching me. And I feel the same way about your plays as you do about my games."

Both boys realized they could not talk it out like; they were stuck. They also knew that if they were to continue the conversation, they would start fighting again. There was no other option except to ignore the subject for now.

Suddenly Jamie got an idea. One of his best friends was very smart and comprehensive. Not to mention he was exactly the kind of person who would understand their problems, and possibly have a solution. It might not be right to talk to just anyone about their relationship problems, but Jamie really believed that Cody could help them.

"Tony… Would you mind letting someone in on our problems…to help us? A very good friend of mine might have know what to do."

"I don't know… I'm not really comfortable sharing with other people, but if you think he could help us..." Tony answered his boyfriend with a questioning look on his face. "Who are you thinking of anyway?"

"Cody. You know him, he's one of the twins. The one who always sits on the bench by my basketball games."

"Oh yeah, I know who you mean. I guess. Should we go see him now?" Tony said as he grabbed Jamie's hand.

Jamie was happy Tony agreed with his plan, and was sure Cody would be the one able to help them out. So both boys took off to the Tipton hotel.

* * *

In the Tipton, Suite 2330, Zack and Cody had just finished their lunch. Luckily for both of them, their mom hadn't made lunch this time. Since Zack had been the one who scored the winning shot, he was allowed to choose what they would have for their meal. And of course Zack had chosen pizza.

Unfortunately their mom couldn't stay for lunch so the boys had to dine alone. And what was worse, they had to do the dishes themselves. Well…Cody was the one doing them while Zack was watching TV.

When Cody was almost done with the dishes, someone knocked on their door.

"Cody! Door!" Zack yelled out from his seat.

"You know Zack… It would be nice if, as my brother, you would sometimes do something in the house too," Cody said while he walked over to the door. "Hey Jamie! Tony, come in."

While Cody was finishing the last of the dishes, Jamie and Tony took place next to Zack in the chairs. From where Cody was standing he could see Jamie kissing Tony on the lips. He thought it was rather sweet, but saw a different reaction from his twin. Zack's face was a mixture of confusion and surprise.

Cody thought that he had better stop Zack before he could say something stupid and hurt their feelings. For their friends looked like they had some trouble and needed advice. Yes, Cody was an excellent judge of character.

"Guys… why are you two kissing each other? Are you both gay or something?"

Apparently Cody had been right about Zack saying something stupid. But while he was an excellent judge of character, Cody wasn't always that fast when it came to reacting.

"Zack! … I told you that this morning after the game," Cody said when he walked over to his friends and his brother. "And Jamie came out a few weeks ago."

"Really? How come I can't remember that? What was I doing?" Zack couldn't believe he had known this information already.

"I have no idea Zack… Why don't you ever pay attention when I tell you something?"

"Ah come on, that's not true! You remember that time when you told me about that thing you had to do at that place with those people. I remember that…"

"That thing? That place? You mean the lecture in school? Thanks for illustrating my point, Zack."

"Mr. and Ms. Martin, would you mind? We didn't come here to listen to you argue…" Jamie yelled to make his friends stop.

"Sorry… We didn't mean to…" Cody was blushing when he said that. He knew it was perfectly normal to fight with his brother, but he didn't like to do it in front of their friends.

"It's ok guys, don't worry," Jamie said as he looked to Tony before adding. "Actually Cody, we need your help and advice."

"Okay… You guys have a math problem? I thought you were great in math, Jamie."

"Geesh Cody, for a smart guy you can be pretty dumb sometimes. It's obvious they have relationship problems." Zack was lecturing Cody this time.

Cody couldn't believe it. He was the smart twin with the excellent judge of character. And yet Zack was the one who knew instantly what their friends had come for. Apparently his judgment wasn't that excellent, and Zack was smarter than he thought.

"Zack is right. We have been fighting for weeks now. And we can't stop. Every time we try to talk it out, we end up fighting again." Jamie started.

"And I don't want to lose Jamie for something stupid. He thought you might help us. Can you? Please…" Tony added while both boyfriends cast a pleading look to Cody.

"I don't know… Guys, I'm really flattered you think enough of me to ask for my help." Cody stopped and took a deep breath. "But I really think you should solve those problems yourselves."

"But will you at least hear us out? And maybe think it over?" Jamie pleaded.

"I guess so…"

"Well, you know I play basketball and Tony does acting class and is in plays. We both agreed on coming to each other performances, whether it's a game or a play. But lately Tony is always too late for my games," Jamie explained with an angry look towards Tony.

"While Jamie here always falls asleep at my plays. I get great reviews every time, but the only one sleeping is my boyfriend who doesn't seem to care enough," Tony added while returning the same look to Jamie.

"And yet he expects me to be at all his games. And basketball is probably the most boring sport ever!"

"Is not. Your plays are much worse than any sport."

"How can you know? You sleep through all of them!"

"STOP!" Zack yelled. "Look guys, I don't know anything about your relationship, or any long term relationship for that matter. But I do know you have to stop fighting like that."

"You're right, Zack…" Jamie sighed "We won't solve anything by fighting more."

"Actually I just meant to say you were annoying me. But that too."

"Ugh… Ignore my rude brother please, guys." Cody broke in the conversation before Zack would say something even more rude and make them leave.

"But he is actually kind of right. We can't solve this for you guys. You have to stop fighting over these things."

"So, you're saying you can't help us, Cody?" Jamie asked disappointed.

"No, I mean… Yes… I'm so sorry, guys. But I'm afraid this is one battle you have to fight yourselves."

Cody didn't feel that good when he said that. He knew he was letting his friends down, and he hated that. They had come over to the Tipton to seek his help. But all he could do was say that they had to stop fighting. That was of course true, but not very helpful.

"I guess you just have to appreciate each other more. Put yourself in the other's place and maybe you'll think differently about your activities." This was the best Cody could come up with, and he really hoped it would help them.

"Eh? What do you mean by that?"

"Well, Tony, you should imagine not seeing Jamie at all to support you when you have a play. And Jamie should imagine seeing Tony sleep at his games while he's the best player on the team."

"Ahem"

Zack had coughed a little to get attention. He didn't seem to agree with Cody's last statement. The reason was obvious of course. Zack and Jamie had been competing over the title of 'Best Player On The Team' for the whole year now. Most players agreed Jamie was the best. But Zack had a mean free throw that Jamie lacked, which made Zack very valuable to the team. And Cody did name Zack the best player sometimes, because he thought that's what good brothers were supposed to do.

But in this instance, he knew Jamie could use that pep talk more than Zack. And frankly Jamie really was the superior player overall.

"He is the best player on the team," Cody stated, looking at Zack before turning back to their friends. "Maybe you should do something nice together on the weekend. Then next time maybe you won't be so angry at each other."

"I guess that could work…" Jamie sighed. "Want to go on a date this evening, Tony?"

"With you? … I'd never say no to that offer," Tony replied as he gave Jamie a small kiss on his lips.

* * *

A week later Cody was watching his team play another basketball game. Of course he was sitting on the bench next to their coach, Arwin. According to Zack, that was Cody's best place on the team. Sadly enough Cody had to agree with Zack. But it did gave him the opportunity to look around in the crowd.

The first person he saw was obviously his mom, who was cheering for Zack loudly. She really embarrassed her two sons all the time at their game. But it was not his mom Cody was searching for in the crowd. He was looking for Tony.

Cody was a bit worried when the boy was nowhere to be found. Just before the game he had spoken with Jamie to learn if his advice had worked. The both of them had enjoyed the nice date last weekend and taken the opportunity to talk things over.

According to Jamie they had enjoyed a week without any fights. Although he did confess to Cody that he had fallen asleep again during Tony's play yesterday. But he was sure Tony hadn't seen it, because Tony hadn't reacted badly or mentioned anything about it. Cody was really satisfied to hear that. Perhaps his idea actually had worked, even though he himself had worried that he hadn't had much useful advice to give them.

But now he couldn't see Tony anywhere in the crowd. And he knew Jamie had noticed the same. In fact Jamie had been looking for him the whole game now. Which meant Jamie wasn't exactly paying attention to their game and had missed shot after shot. He didn't seem to be able to catch a pass either. All he could do was focus on the crowd and looking where Tony should be.

They were almost halfway in the last quarter and were losing to a team they probably could have beaten easily if they played with full strength. But with Jamie not paying attention, Zack was the only star player on their side. Everybody knew they needed to do something about Jamie if they wanted to win this game. Even Arwin as coach saw that…

"Cody, check in," He said pointing to the court.

"In where?"

"In the game…"

"I can't go out there… They're playing!" Cody was really confused now, everyone knew how bad he was.

"I know… I need you to go in for Jamie. You couldn't possibly play any worse than him."

Cody actually felt good after that small reassurance from Arwin, and stood up. "Just watch me!"

"What's the matter, honey? Gotta go to the bathroom?" Carey asked as she saw her younger son walk away from the bench.

"Mom… I'm going in the game," Cody said gritting his teeth and hoping she wouldn't embarrass him more.

"I get to wash two uniforms tonight…" his mother said as she picked up her camera. "Smile!" Apparently Cody's hope was for nothing, this was embarrassing.

Not as embarrassing as his game though. He managed to be in the game for almost a whole minute. His short appearance had ended with the ball hitting him on his head but bouncing into the hoop nevertheless. Needless to say Jamie had to go in for Cody again, because Cody was a bit dizzy after his first basket ever.

Luckily for their team they still managed to win this game. It had been a close call though. Again Zack had been the one who saved the day by scoring a free throw. While most team members were celebrating their close victory Cody walked over to Jamie who was looking a little lost.

Before Cody could say something to comfort the poor boy though, he spotted Tony rushing into the hall. Judging from Jamie's sudden change of expression, he had seen him too. Knowing he better let those two be alone with their problems, Cody took off toward Zack and the changing room.

Jamie on the other hand just looked at Tony, before turning around and walking over to the changing room as well.

"I have to go change, will you wait outside, Tony?" was the only thing he said before leaving.

When both twins, Carey and Jamie finally left the building Tony had been waiting there for half an hour. He was a bit angry at them for taking so long, but Jamie felt he deserved it. Tony had let him down again and made him almost lose their game.

Before Jamie said anything to Tony about that though, he said goodbye to Zack and Cody and their mother.

"You jerk! Where were you?" He yelled as soon as the three Martin's were out of sight.

"I'm sorry, I had been discussing the play with some friends. Things we could change so the audience might like it better. You know… the play you used to catch up on your sleep yesterday."

Apparently Tony had seen Jamie sleeping. Jamie wished that he hadn't, but that still didn't change his feelings. He was still angry as hell with Tony for not showing up at all.

"At least I was at your play… You didn't even bother to show up here or even call me. Thanks to you I completely sucked today. I even got benched in place of Cody. And you know how hopeless he is," Jamie said while the both of them walked to the street.

"Yeah, you showed up alright. True enough, but do you think I felt good when my supposed boyfriend was sleeping through our whole play? Do you think that didn't influence my performance?" Tony was clearly very mad now too.

"Can I help it both your play and your performance sucked big time? It's normal I fell asleep, it's odd nobody else did," Jamie spat back at his boyfriend.

That last comment made Tony really furious. He looked like he was about to explode from anger. Jamie realized he might have gone too far with that insult. He didn't really think that Tony's performance sucked. But before Jamie could apologize, Tony had pushed him backwards onto the street.

What neither of the boys had seen though, while fighting over the same old thing again, was the car heading down the street in their direction.

Jamie noticed something was wrong as he tried to get up and heard Tony desperately yelling his name. Before he could see what his boyfriend was yelling about, he saw a car right in front of him and felt a heavy smack...

And then he felt nothing at all…

All had gone black…

* * *

"I hope Jamie feels better now. Last time he didn't even want to see us," Cody said to his brother as he knocked on the door of the room in the Boston Children's Hospital.

"I'm sure he will, Cody. Come on, we bought him this amazing basketball. I'm sure he would like this."

Cody wasn't too sure of that though. From what he had heard Jamie had been really down from the moment on he had woken up in the hospital.

When both twins walked into the room they saw Jamie sitting in a wheelchair surfing the Internet on his laptop. A brand new laptop Cody observed. One he would've liked to have too. But that was completely beside the point. Jamie was out of bed, that must mean something positive.

"Hey Jamie! How's it going, dude?" Zack said as they walked over to their friend.

"What do you think? I just learned I'll never be able to use my legs again. Guess how I'm feeling now…Dude…" Jamie said angrily to Zack.

"Never? Jamie, that's…"

"Just say it Cody… that's terrible. My life is ruined, just say it…"

"Come on, don't be so down, man. We even brought you a very cool present!" Zack said as he handed over the basketball they bought for their friend.

"A basketball? Whoa thanks guys… And how do you think I'm going to play with a basketball? I'm in a wheelchair forever, in case you hadn't noticed," Jamie snapped at his friends.

"Ah come on Jamie, don't become someone who goes straight to school and straight home, like Cody."

"Excuse me? You forget about Stamp Club. I came up with our motto, 'You can't lick us!'" Cody said being proud of his accomplishment.

"And this is my motto: 'My brother is a geek'," Zack said as he pushed his twin aside. "Anyway… Come on Jamie, you can't let yourself down like this!"

"Why not? What have I got left in life? Sitting in a wheelchair, that's all I can do now… No sports for me anymore," Jamie replied.

Before either Zack or Cody could say something to reply to Jamie's harsh statement, Tony walked in the room.

"Hey Jamie, how are you doing, love?" He said.

"What are you doing here, jerk? I told you before that I didn't want to see you ever again!" Jamie yelled as he saw who entered his room.

"But Jamie…"

"Don't but me… It's thanks to you I'm here now. Thanks to you I can't use my legs anymore. You ruined my life! And yet you think you can walk in here and act like nothing happened. And something else, don't call me love. Don't you think for one moment that I still love you. I don't even like you anymore. In fact there is nobody I despise more than you now! I never ever want to see you again!" Jamie ranted.

"Jamie…"

"Get out!!!"

"Dude, I think you better listen to him now. Maybe you can make it up to him another time," Cody said to Tony, who left the room very sad.

"Zack, maybe we better go too," Cody said to his brother. And added to Jamie: "Well Jamie… I guess we'll see you later. In school."

* * *

A month later Jamie came back to school. But he wasn't the same Jamie anymore. He had become what Zack had warned him about. He just went straight to school and straight home. He didn't hang out with his friends anymore or play basketball. Although many had tried to get Jamie to take a few shots at the basket, nobody succeeded. Thanks to his accident Jamie had not only lost the use of his legs, but every desire to have a fun life. He didn't care for anyone's company anymore.

As for his relationship with Tony. For Jamie that had ended the moment he got hit by the car. Jamie blamed Tony for his accident. Although both his parents and his friends tried to convince him it wasn't entirely Tony's fault. But Jamie didn't believe them, he kept blaming his ex-boyfriend.

Tony on the other hand really felt guilty for what happened to Jamie. After all, he had pushed him into the street. And what was worse for Tony was that he had seen it happen. Tony wished their relationship could go on. He was prepared to keep dating Jamie even though he was in a wheelchair. But Jamie didn't want to see him anymore. So Tony concentrated on the only thing that was left for him: acting.

Tony buried himself in acting. He wanted to become a real star now. He even changed his name to Antonio because he felt it was a more artistic name, befitting a big star. And at first Antonio found much success. He played in bigger and bigger plays and even in musicals.

Although Antonio was on his way to become a star, he had no friends anymore. And that was mainly because of how he acted toward everyone. He had become a major jerk who only thought about himself. He carried himself as if he was the best actor ever. He become so full of himself, nobody even wanted to talk to him.

It was so sad for Zack and Cody to see both their friends grow apart from them and from each other. They both tried to get Jamie to hang out with them again, but just failed like everyone else. And just like everyone else, they were shocked by Tony's, or Antonio's, behavior and began to not care much for him anymore. Although both thought it was sad to see two people go from being so in love to hating each other's guts.

**The End**

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_**Notes on the pairing: **_

_Jamie is from the SLOZAC episode -_**_ 'Back in the Game'_**_. Readers will be glad to know that he did eventually become less bitter and start to enjoy life again thanks to the help of Cody and Zack._

_Antonio (don't call him Tony) is from the SLOZAC episode - '_**_Lip Syncin' in the Rain'. _**_Sadly, he was still a rather arrogant diva the last time we saw him._


	15. DarkElements10

**An Unlikely Pair**

By: DarkElements10

Ashton stumbled across the street to sit on one of the many Bahama benches. He looked pale, then green as he turned and threw up in one of the also numerous trashcans. If Padma wasn't such an observant person, he would have stayed on that bench until his friends called him, and then he would've followed them around for the rest of the day. But Padma was extremely observant and what she saw was a person in need. She handed a five to Tyler who was walking next to her and asked for a water. Tyler saw the boy before she got to him; he rolled his eyes and went for water.

"Hey, are you ok?" A Indian sounding accent asked as a girl casually sat down beside him on the bench. Ashton looked at her, he had no idea who she was, and yet she was sitting next to him, looking concerned. He honest to god couldn't figure out why she was sitting there until his stomach heaved up again. The girl moved quickly, as soon as he turned to the trashcan, rubbing his back comfortingly as he threw up again.

"You're sicker than I thought." She mumbled as she began to massage his head. "I'm Padma." He didn't reply and threw up again. "Look at me." She said in a much softer voice. He opened his eyes, surprised. "Good boy." She held his cool face in her warm hands and slightly tilted it this way and that, examining his brown eyes.

"Why are you helping me?" he managed to rasp out.

"I felt like taking a break from shopping." Padma replied with a little chuckle. "You aren't drunk or hung over. Meds not sit right?" by miracle alone he could comprehend what she said.

"Went on coaster too soon." He took a drink of water.

"Where are your friends?"

"Told 'em to go. I'm fine, you can go too."

"You are not fine; you're puking and obviously having issues with your muscles. Padma frowned and though of what to do. Ashton just sat there, not doing anything. He could tell that Padma had a bossy side and a temper and didn't want to test it. "Lay down, you need to let your body get all settled after that ride." She eased the non protesting young man down on the bench.

"What happened to you?" She questioned, softly rubbing his temples. "You look like the kind of person that would never let anyone take care of you before." She stated when he tried to sit up fast. "Calm down, relax. You're stressing your body." She gently pushed him down on her lap. His warm chocolate eyes gazed up at her. She rolled her eyes when he tensed up. "Concentrate on deep breaths, try and relax your muscles one by one." She commanded gentl. "Block out all the noise around us." Light fingers closed his eyes for him. "Try and picture yourself somewhere calm."

A kid ran past screaming at that exact moment.

Then the kid stopped screaming.

Padma released a satisfied sigh. Ashton opened one eye to find the kid staring at his caretaker. "Close your eye." Ashton did as he was told, attempting to settle his stomach.

"You're skin is so smooth." Padma traced the outline of his face. She was talking to herself more than him, never the less, her soft voice was mesmerizing. "I bet you're a big brother, no sisters though…you're big into sports." A slight grin pulled at his lips, so she didn't just feel needed, physical attraction was there too. Ashton grazed over this in his mind, he wasn't one to really care what others thought, but no opinion was ever lost on him.

"How'd you know?"

"He speaks!" the most he could summon was a shrug.

"Why don't you leave me along and just go back to your friends?" he sat up, getting slapped with a wall of altitude adjustment.

"Because they're boring." Padma sighed in reply. "And they aren't really my friends. They're only people that I shop with." She shrugged carelessly. "Besides, I always like it when other people notice I'm sick."

"Attention deprived?" Ashton shot back as he raised an eyebrow. He didn't get this at all. First he gets dumped by his fiancé, who fell for some…uncouth guy. Zack. He couldn't even stand to think about the guy's name. And now here he was, lying on a bench being cared for by a Indian girl, and not caring about anything except for the way that she was rubbing his forehead.

"Drama Queen." Padma replied.

"But what's the point of coming to an amusement park if you don't rid the rides?" Ashton questioned as he opened his eyes again. He couldn't help it, he had to look at the girl's face. She smiled back down at him.

"Your questions are amusing me." She answered with a half smile. "Feel up to walking around?"

"Where to?" he asked as he sat up.

"How about away from the screaming kids area." Padma suggested with a little laugh. He just smiled and the two of them walked to The Boardwalk. "You're sitting with me on the ride home." Padma announced out of the blue. People walked at different speed around them, in little clusters and groups.

"Why?" Ashton snorted as he let out a sneer. He was back to his rich-guy mode. He didn't want anyone to take care of him. He didn't need to be anyone's pity case. And it was damn time that he let her know it.

"You interest me." Padma replied simply. 'And I need someone to talk to' she added in her head. "Besides, you still need me." She concluded out loud.

"I'm not puking anymore." Ashton said simply.

"Doesn't matter." Padma shrugged and skipped ahead a few cliques, looking over her shoulder to half smile at him.

True to her word, Ashton ended up in the seat next to Padma. Her 'friends' had started a poker game across the aisle, betting on each other's expensive earrings and rings, but Padma didn't notice as she made herself comfortable. Being out in the sun had soaked away most of her energy and she was much quieter.

"Do I still need you?" Ashton softly asked her as she leaned against the top half of his body. He leaned his head down and lightly sniffed her, not to be a creeper, but because she smelled…pretty. Like Jasmine. And that was something that he didn't expect.

"Dunno, probably." Padma replied with a sigh as her eyelids started to flutter. "I need you though. I forgot a pillow." With that explanation, she closed her eyes, completely at ease with Ashton's hand resting on her stomach. The smell of her perfume was terrorizing his senses.

"Maybe I need you because I forgot my blanket." Ashton replied in a teasing manner.

"What are you implying with that undertone?" she asked, her captivating eyes opening, half smile forming.

"I wasn't implying anything, you dirty minded little girl." Ashton couldn't help but grin, "What are you thinking?"

"I'm thinking I need you because I want you." Leaning up a little, she gently pressed her lips against his. "You amused me at an amusement park." She said, again, more to herself. "Relax and get some sleep Ashton."

In later days, people would ask why they dated, both answered the same. They were needed, it was a mutual thing. He would grow calm and she would walk a few feet ahead. But always looked back over her should with a secret half smile.

**The End**

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**Notes on the pairing:**

Ashton was the evil fiancé of Violet Berg in the SOLD episode "Kidney of the Sea"

Padma was the Indian girl who was going to be London's roommate...but London bribed her to leave the ship.


	16. Ethereality88

**I'm With You**

By Ethereality88

_I'm standing on the bridge_

_I'm waiting in the dark_

_I thought that you'd be here by now_

_There's nothing but the rain_

_No footsteps on the ground_

_I'm listening but there's no sound_

"No, I understand." I'm trying to keep the disappointment from my voice. The two week cruise that my boyfriend Zeke and I had been planning for months had just been canceled. Yet again, he just couldn't get away from work. That was the price of being the CEO to a successful corporation. I just wished he would have managed to make this call before the ship had left port. Now I was stuck here by myself until we docked again. Sighing, I turn my attention back to his voice.

I might as well not have bothered. He's not talking to me at all. He's apparently having a conversation with a colleague regarding a hostile takeover of some company or another. I've already been forgotten again. Stop it, I scold myself. He'd be here if he could, Enid. You're just being too needy again. You know he hates that.

"I'll get off the ship at the next port. I can catch a flight and be home in no time and we could still spend time . . ."

His frustrated sigh cuts me off. There's something wrong with that plan.

"I just wish you had called me a little sooner. Are you OK? I didn't mean to nag." I say softly, trying to keep the tears from welling up in my eyes.

"If you come back now, you'll just give me the guilt trip the whole time because you missed the cruise." He tells me irritably.

I sigh, realizing he doesn't want me to come back home.

"Just stay on the ship. You've got the credit cards." he continues, sounding distracted. "I'll talk to you later."

"Alright." I say, knowing there's no point in arguing. "I love you, Zeke."

"Yeah."

Isn't anyone trying to find me

Won't somebody come take me home?

"Come on, Enid. This'll be fun." I tell myself, wondering how it got to this point.

"Of course it will. You're on a floating city in the middle of the ocean. It doesn't get any more fun than that." says a voice from behind me.

"Oh, you scared me." I exclaim. "And now I've been caught talking to myself. Just wonderful."

"It's only a bad thing if you start answering." the young man says, flashing a charming grin. "I'm Armando. And I believe I heard you say that you're Enid?"

I nod, unable to keep from grinning back.

_It's a damn cold night_

_Trying to figure out this life_

_Won't you take me by the hand_

_Take me somewhere new_

_I don't know who you are but I_

_I'm with you_

"So Enid, these smoothies are one of the many reasons this cruise is not going to suck for you. The Banana Fofana can solve any problem." Armando informs me, raising his glass for a toast.

"I just wish Zeke would have been able to make it." I say in a forlorn voice. "It's like I never see him anymore."

"Have you ever wondered if maybe you deserve better?" he asks bluntly.

"Zeke isn't a bad guy. He's just busy." I automatically defend him, more out of habit than anything. "I should be more supportive. That's the problem."

"I didn't say he was a bad person. I'm just saying that maybe the two of you weren't meant to be together forever. Some relationships aren't meant to last. It's just a thought." Armando says, a sympathetic look on his face.

I lower my eyes self-consciously and reply, "I don't even know why I'm spilling my guts to you like this."

"Because I'm listening." he replies and I realize he's right. It's been a long time since Zeke truly listened to me. "And because I'm ridiculously charming."

And I'll be damned if he isn't right about that too.

_I'm looking for a place_

_I'm searching for a face_

_Is anybody here I know_

_Cause nothing's going right_

_And everything's a mess_

_And noone likes to be alone_

Tired from last night, I drag myself out of bed, dress and shower then open to door to head up to the deck. Sitting in the hallway outside of my door is a single rose. Wondering if someone left it in front of the wrong room, I lean down to pick it up and see if there's a name on the card.

I unfold the attached note and my mouth drops open in surprise.

_Last night was a pleasure._

_I don't know how Zeke could want to be anywhere but here with you._

_You really do deserve better._

_Yours, Armando_

Isn't anyone trying to find me

Won't somebody come take me home

"Bravo! That was amazing! You're very talented." I exclaim after watching Armando rehearse his act.

"Thank you." Armando replies, taking a bow.

"I love magic. It makes everything seem so simple." I smile happily.

He steps down from the stage and makes his way toward the table I'm seated at. He looks at me closely and says, "You have a beautiful smile. You should use it more often; it lights up a room."

_It's a damn cold night_

_Trying to figure out this life_

_Won't you take me by the hand_

_Take me somewhere new_

_I don't know who you are but I_

_I'm with you_

_I'm with you_

"Hey," Armando says as I walk up to tell him goodbye before leaving the ship. "I was hoping you'd changed your mind."

"I was getting my bags packed." I say, trying to ignore the sadness that fills me at the thought of leaving the ship.

"I still wish you weren't leaving a week early.." he says with a trace of disappointment in his voice.

"I'd stay if I could." I reply. But Zeke had called earlier and said that he was going to have a weekend free and I had firmly ignored the feeling that he was looking forward to seeing me only as an obligation and not out of any true desire to spend time with me.

"Zeke had better know how lucky he is. And remember, you deserve to be with someone who can't get enough time with you. Anytime you need somebody to listen, you know where I am." I don't have time to respond as he quickly presses his lips to mine and strides away across the deck.

_Why is everything so confusing_

_Maybe I'm just out of my mind_

"I just don't think this is going to work." I calmly tell Zeke over the phone, wondering why it took me so long to get to this point.

"I know you're still upset over me missing this cruise thing. But that's no reason to start overreacting. Come on, you're just blowing things out of proportion again." he replies.

"Zeke, I'm not overreacting and I'm not changing my mind about this." I state, knowing in my heart that I'm making the right decision.

"Look, I have a meeting so I really don't have time to go over this right now. We'll talk when you get home." He says and hangs up quickly.

I guess he'll figure out that time doesn't work for me when I don't show up.

_It's a damn cold night_

_Trying to figure out this life_

_Won't you take me by the hand_

_Take me somewhere new_

_I don't know who you are but I_

_I'm with you_

"It turns out I didn't have to get home early after all." I tell him, leaning up against the door to the room he's rehearsing in.

"He canceled on you again?" Armando questions, cocking his head to the side as he moves to stand in front of me.

"Nope, this time I canceled on him. Permanently." I reply lightly, a small smirk forming on my face.

"Good." he says. "I'm glad. He's a jerk. Since you're here, I assume you decided not to leave early?"

Suddenly feeling nervous, I bite my lip and look at the floor before answering. "Well, I would've missed seeing your show if I left now." That's not all I would have missed, but I'm feeling like the old awkward Enid right now and I'm hoping he understands without my saying the words. Apparently, he does.

"So, now that you're single, how would you feel about a real date on the Sky Deck tonight after the show?" Armando asks, smiling as he leans down and captures my lips with his own. We only have a week and I have no idea what will happen once this cruise is over and I go back to Boston. But that doesn't matter right now. I'm with him.

**The End.**

**

* * *

  
**

**Notes on the pairing:**

_Enid_ is Arwin's neighbor in SLOZAC episode "The Arwin That Came To Dinner". She is played by Megan Hilty.

_Armando_ is a magician performing on the ship in the SLOD episode "Ala-Ka-Sram". He is played by Justin Kredible. Justin is a magician, performer and television personality.

_'I'm With You'_ lyrics are by Avril Lavigne, Scott Spock, Lauren Christy, and Graham Edwards.


	17. Snapplelinz II

**What Happens On The Ship…**

**By Snapplelinz**

Lily was running away at top speed from the screaming girls chasing after her. They should've calmed down by now. Then again, having Hannah Montana aboard the S.S. Tipton for a few extra days after her Hawaii concert meant even more chaos. Her short red wig bounced on her head while she skirted past passengers in her haste to find a good hiding place. Her safe haven took the form of an unoccupied bathroom on the 5th level. She literally dove through the door, and just in the nick of time too. Lily listened intently to the sounds of stampeding feet rushing past the doorway as the excited yells became more muffled with each passing second.

She rested her head momentarily against the adjacent wall and closed her eyes. Then she scanned the room and found her sports bag where she had left it earlier. Both her and Miley had made an agreement with Mr. Moseby (the ship manager) that in case they needed to escape an excitable mob on deck such as this and weren't in close proximity to their own luxurious cabin, Miley and Lily were allowed to use this particular bathroom on the 5th level to change into a disguise if the situation deemed it necessary.

So far, neither Miley nor Lily had made any use of the 'bathroom' for a quick getaway. But Miley was currently at a local hotel in Hawaii preparing for several interviews occurring for most of the day while Lily was stuck dealing with Hannah's multitude of screaming fans. So much for being the inconspicuous one of the two. At first, it had been fun and even flattering to be noticed on deck by complete strangers as 'Lola Luftnagle': Hannah Montana's best friend. But now, it was beginning to get on Lily's nerves. Didn't these people have a life? Or were they just born to chase after celebrities on a daily basis?

She sighed and opened up her sports bag, which contained her normal clothing. She quickly unfastened the clasps behind her head which held her wig in place and released her flowing blonde tresses out of their confines. Then she took off Lola's black short-sleeved blouse and black leather mini-skirt with black combat boots and a bright red tie which hung from her neck. Then she retrieved a pair of comfortable light-blue stone-washed skinny jeans, canary yellow tank top and a short-sleeved neon pink hoodie along with her favourite baby pink flip-flops. When she was back in her regular clothes, she felt almost normal again.

Then she realised that all that running had made her work up quite a thirst. So instead of heading back to hers and Miley's cabin where she would only mope around for hours with nothing to do, Lily decided to go grab herself a thirst-quenching drink from the Smoothie Bar.

She passed Mr. Moseby's desk on her way down to the Lido Deck. He glanced at her and flashed her a courteous smile.

"Hey, Mr. Moseby." Lily greeted in a friendly tone.

"Miss Truscott, what a lovely surprise. Rough day?" Mr. Moseby asked sympathetically.

"Just the last 10 minutes. I had to use 'Escape Route 27' especially reserved for Hannah Montana and her entourage." Lily explained tiredly with air quotes.

"Ah yes, the lonely bathroom on the 5th level. My condolences." Mr. Moseby offered with a kind smile.

"No worries. I'm just gonna go cool off with a cold drink at the Smoothie Bar and drink my troubles away." Lily pointed out with an optimistic smile on her face.

"A splendid idea. I highly recommend the Banana Fofana Smoothie. It's quite delightful." Mr. Moseby suggested pleasantly.

"Thanks, Mr. Moseby, will do. Enjoy the rest of your day." Lily greeted kindly and exited down the stairs.

****************

The Smoothie Bar was empty save for the bartender who was drying off a plastic pitcher with a dish rag. He came towards her with a courteous smile on his face. Lily had to admit that he was kinda cute; lucky for her that she already had Oliver. It seemed a little strange to her that she didn't miss him as much as a girlfriend should when she was away from her main squeeze. But in some ways, it was good that they were getting this distance away from each other for a few days. They had been in each other's company since they had started dating a few months ago; it was nice to have some time apart.

"What can I get you?" the bartender asked with an easy smile.

"A Banana Fofana Smoothie please." Lily responded with a pleasant smile on her face.

"You got it," the bartender replied and went to make her drink.

While Lily waited for her drink, another girl about her age with long flowing dark brown hair came to sit down next to her.

"Yo, Bailey. What it do?" the bartender asked casually.

"Hey, Rick. Can I get a Holiday Happiness Smoothie? And make it a double," Bailey Pickett instructed in a weary tone.

Both Rick and Lily grimaced in response while the former went to prepare the drink.

"Bad day?" Lily asked sympathetically of the forlorn girl.

"Try pointless. My boyfriend, Cody is at the Tipton Space Station with London Tipton, trying to write yet another Nobel-prize winning essay on Space Travel. And my other friends are somewhere on the Mainland living it up." Bailey explained haphazardly as Rick returned with both hers and Lily's smoothies.

"Whoa, your boyfriend knows _London Tipton_?!" Lily gasped.

Bailey nodded slowly.

"Okay, here's a stupid question. I can understand if you're not into Science or anything. But if your friends are living it up on the Mainland, then how come you're not with them?" Lily asked nonchalantly while she sipped on her drink.

"Because my friends include my boyfriend's twin brother and my other friend, Woody, who will probably be doing all kinds of asinine things all day long to piss off the locals while I sit back and watch. There's my other classmate, Addison. But she'll only drag me to every boutique and shopping mall that Hawaii has to offer. And she's super hyperactive on top of that. I just can't deal with that today." Bailey responded frankly while she took a long sip from her smoothie.

"Tell me about it. I know a couple of kooky people back home. My boyfriend, Oliver, is such a goof ball. But he sure knows how to get me laughing when I'm mad at him." Lily stated good-naturedly.

"Cody's also has a great witty sense of humour; he's not as outlandish as his twin brother, Zack. But Cody is sweet and sensitive and he really knows me well. That's why this is so frustrating. We only started dating a few days ago, but we haven't even gone out on a real date since Hannah Montana came on board. Something or _someone_ always keeps getting in the way." Bailey relayed disappointedly.

"Man, that sucks. If I were you, I would take Cody aside when he gets back from the Tipton Space Station and just lay out all your cards on the table. Tell him exactly how you feel and what you want." Lily suggested assertively.

"Gee, I don't know about that," Bailey remarked shyly.

"I'm telling you, guys like girls who spell out what they want from them in stupid. Trust me." Lily responded persistently, waving a straw at Bailey.

"Okay, I'll try it your way. Thanks, um?" Bailey asked with a nervous smile which showed off her dimples.

"Lily, Lily Truscott." Lily introduced and held out her hand to Bailey.

"Nice to meet you, I'm Bailey, Bailey Pickett." Bailey greeted pleasantly.

"Likewise." Lily answered with a smile.

"Now that I've shared my sob story with you, what brings you by the Smoothie Bar this late in the afternoon?" Bailey asked curiously.

"I was in serious need of a drink after being chased down by that angry mob on the Sky Deck," Lily explained without thinking.

She realised her mistake a second later when Bailey furrowed her eyebrows in confusion.

"Angry mob? Are you talking about the Hannah Montana fans on deck? Why were they chasing you?" she questioned in alarm.

"No idea, none at all. And they couldn't have been fans of Hannah Montana. They had to have been, y'know…crazy hockey fans." Lily refuted facetiously.

"Hockey fans on the S.S. Tipton? Uh-uh, there is no way. The only crazy mob on board are the Hannah fans. And they would only chase two people: Hannah, or her best friend, Lola." Bailey explained succinctly.

"Oh shit," Lily murmured in an undertone, because Bailey had begun looking at her with a strange expression on her face.

It was if the girl was analyzing every contour of Lily's face. Finally, Bailey's eyes rested for an uncomfortably long time on Lily's mouth and nose. Then the farm girl emitted a high-pitched squeak.

"Oh my God, you are Lola Luftnagle, Hannah Montana's best friend who accompanies her everywhere!" Bailey gasped out.

Lily moved off of her barstool and wrapped her hands around Bailey's mouth.

"Would you keep it down?! If I promise to take my hands off your mouth and tell you the truth, will you promise not to freak out?" Lily asked delicately in Bailey's ear.

Bailey glanced up at her and nodded slowly. Lily sighed and relented, her hands slipping back to her sides as she sat down once more.

"Okay, you're right. I am Lola Luftnagle, but it's just a cover, like Hannah Montana is just a cover for Mi…my friend, Hannah. My real name is actually Lily." Lily answered truthfully.

An uncomfortable silence followed where Lily suddenly wished she could sprint back up to hers and Miley's cabin. Then Bailey let out an excited squeal and clapped her hands together exuberantly.

"Oh my God, I've actually met Lola Luftnagle, Hannah Montana's closest friend! This is the coolest thing ever! And don't worry, I won't tell any of the crazy Hannah fans that you're hanging out down here, I swear." Bailey reassured Lily with a genuine smile.

"Thanks, Bailey. You rock." Lily responded appreciatively.

"So you live in LA near Hannah?" Bailey pressed eagerly.

"Yeah, I live pretty close to her. Where are you from, Bailey?" Lily asked curiously.

"Kettlecorn, Kansas: where the cows outnumber the people." Bailey joked proudly.

"Ha ha, good one." Lily emitted a loud cackle which Bailey didn't return.

"Oh you're serious. Oops," Lily apologised meekly, which put Bailey at ease once more.

"Don't worry about it, Lily. I get that whole 'country bumpkin' routine all the time." Bailey replied with a dismissive wave, which seemed far too forced to be casual.

"Hey, I didn't mean it like that, Bailey, I'm sorry. My best friend back home is originally from Tennessee. So you can relax, I'm not one of those 'uppity city folk'." Lily reassured her.

"Wait, your best friend isn't Hannah Montana?" Bailey asked in amazement.

"Well, I…never mind." Lily ended off abruptly.

From there, the two of them launched into a conversation about home, their likes and dislikes and their boyfriends. Lily began telling Bailey about what it was like touring with Hannah and Bailey in turn told Lily all about Seven Seas Academy. Bailey had Lily in stitches over the story about her trip to Rome when she pretended to be 'Naomi Wyoming', the famous pop star modelled after none other than Hannah Montana.

"Oh my God! So, Chef Gigi and that con artist actually believed you?! That is the funniest thing I've ever heard!" Lily exclaimed through guffaws of laughter.

"I still can't believe I put on that ridiculous red wig," Bailey remarked in mortification.

"I would've paid big money to see that," Lily admitted sincerely.

"Whoa, look at the time! I didn't realise it was already 6pm. I'd better get back to my cabin. It was nice talking to you, Bailey." Lily greeted quickly as she got off the barstool.

"You too, _Lola._" Bailey responded with a teasing smile that didn't quite reach her eyes.

Lily's girl intuition was sparking off at a high frequency, alerting her to the fact that Bailey still seemed kinda down after their conversation. Lily guessed that Bailey was feeling as lonely as she was in that moment. And she had enjoyed talking to Bailey for the past two hours.

"Listen, if you're not busy right now, you should hang out with me in my cabin. I don't really feel like staying on the Lido Deck for dinner. I was just gonna order in. Whaddya say?" Lily asked pleasantly.

"You don't have to do that, Lily. I don't wanna cramp your style." Bailey responded meekly.

"You're not cramping my style. I like hanging out with you. So what's your word, cow-girl? You feel like showing me how to shuck possums?" Lily asked with a drawling southern twang.

She frowned at the sight of Bailey giggling and snorting.

"What?" Lily asked quizzically.

"You shuck corn, not possums." Bailey pointed out laughingly.

Lily found herself chuckling at her own stupidity.

"Man, I thought I was getting better at 'Southern Talk'," Lily huffed disappointedly while Bailey continued laughing at her.

***************

"Oh my God, look at all this stuff!" Bailey gushed in admiration.

"I told you," Lily observed with a self-satisfied smirk on her face at Bailey's glowing face.

She stood with her arms folded across her chest while she watched Bailey's progress. They were taking what Lily called 'the guided tour' through Hannah Montana's walk-in-closet in her penthouse cabin. Since Miley wasn't back yet from her interview, Lily wanted to occupy herself with something fun. Doing something to cheer up the vivacious farm girl was just an added bonus. And there was nothing more fun than going through Miley's walk-in-closet filled to the brim with Hannah's most stylish shoes, glittering jewellery and high-fashion wardrobe. Bailey had even brought along her 'Naomi Wyoming' wig just for the occasion.

Bailey had just exited the closet, sporting one of Hannah Montana's signature 'painting the town red' outfits: a bright gold leather jacket, a white tank top with a glitter pattern, dark blue skinny jeans and 10-inch bright gold boots. She was wearing her 'Naomi' wig atop her head and sporting a pair of round-rimmed see-through gold sunglasses. Lily, who was back in her 'Lola' costume complete with black nail polish, sat up from her bed and looked Bailey over. For a girl from the farm, she sure cleaned up well.

"How do I look?" Bailey asked while biting her lip nervously.

Lily got to her feet and pretended to study Bailey intensely while walking around her slowly and deliberately. When she had come full circle, Lily stood in front of Bailey with a pensive expression on her face.

"Um, duh! Girl, you look good!" Lily exclaimed in a southern twang while beaming broadly.

"I do look good, don't I?" Bailey asked excitedly while pouting and doing an interpretation of a sexy pose.

"Do the impression again," Lily urged eagerly.

"Hey ya'll! I'm Naomi Wyoming: bringing you the hits while you bring me the dineros. I'm about to blow you up!" Bailey exclaimed in a ghetto impression and snapping her fingers afterwards.

"Oh my God, it's Naomi Wyoming!" Lily exclaimed hysterically and began jumping around Bailey feverishly.

"Oh my God! Oh my God! Please, please, please, please, can I have your autograph?!" Lily squealed in mock imitation of a typical Hannah Montana fan.

"Oh sweet Lord, you really do that every time you see Orlando Bloom on the red carpet?" Bailey asked laughingly when Lily stopped squealing.

"Pretty much," Lily answered nonchalantly.

Bailey eventually stopped laughing and regarded Lily with a serious look on her face while she took off the sunglasses and laid them gently on Hannah's dresser.

"What is it?" Lily asked in concern.

"Lily, I don't know how to thank for such a great day. We barely know each other, and you were such a great friend to me today, just cheering me up and hanging out with me. This has been amazing." Bailey responded sincerely, coming towards Lily.

"Hey, my motivations weren't completely altruistic. I was just as bored as you were today, and in desperate need of cheering up. So I guess we both helped each other today." Lily replied pleasantly.

"I guess we did. For what it's worth, I appreciate it, Lily." Bailey murmured appreciatively.

"Me too," Lily murmured back, matching her tone.

Before Lily could stop her, Bailey had leant in towards her and engulfed her in a warm and friendly hug. Beaming from ear to ear, Bailey pulled away slightly from Lily and kissed her on both cheeks. As she drew back, her eyes locked on Lily's momentarily. She was surprised to see a silent flame dancing in those sapphire blue orbs of hers. Bailey's breath hitched in her throat as she found it impossible to look away from Lily's penetrating stare.

Lily gazed intently into Bailey's brownish grey eyes and gulped inwardly. There was something vividly intoxicating about Bailey. Lily couldn't decide whether it was her delicious scent, that pearly smile of hers and or that adorable accent of hers. The southern twang alone reminded her of Miley, and something about that felt like home somehow.

"Oliver's a lucky guy," Bailey stated slowly after a few seconds.

"And Cody doesn't know what he's missing," Lily responded teasingly, trying to break the sudden tension.

Without thinking about it, she bent her head sideways, leant in towards Bailey and pressed her lips against hers in a soft and chaste kiss, savouring the taste of Bailey's raspberry lip gloss against her mouth. Bailey stood completely still while Lily's mouth moved tentatively against hers.

_The face of you_

_My substitute for love_

_My substitute for love_

Then Lily pulled away, her eyes boring into Bailey's half-lidded ones, which were black under the dim light. Bailey closed her eyes fully, grasped the back of Lily's head and pulled her in for a searing kiss, which sent an electric current coursing through their veins, ending at where their lips fused.

_Should I wait for you?_

_My substitute for love_

_My substitute for love_

Their lips melded together in perfect accord while their hands began exploring one another's bodies with simple touches that gradually became more aggressive and desperate…

**************

_This was never the way I planned_

_Not my intention_

Flesh and limbs were entangled and joined in an intense embrace, each fighting for breath and slowly succumbing to desire. Bailey's hands clutched Lily's waist in a vice-like grip, like her very life depended on such close contact. Lily in turn ran her hands through Bailey's long red tresses, as if she were memorising every strand and every line.

_It's not what I'm used to_

_Just wanna try you on_

Their lips moved together in hurried sequences, rising and dipping into the throngs of feverish passion. When they finally broke apart, it was only to clarify what they already knew to be true.

_I'm curious for you_

_Caught my attention_

"Oliver means everything to me," Lily murmured slowly.

"I'm really starting to fall for Cody," Bailey admitted seriously.

"This doesn't change anything," she added emphatically, locking eyes with Lily.

"This is a one-time thing. When this is done, we go back to our normal lives as if this never happened," Lily agreed solemnly, not blinking once during the entire discussion.

"Let's just forget about everything outside these four walls," she suggested in a softer tone, her face just inches from Bailey's.

"Already forgotten," Bailey muttered before crashing her lips against Lily's once more.

_I kissed a girl and I liked it_

_The taste of her cherry chap stick_

Lily was like putty under Bailey's gentle touches; her skin was all too-willing to be grazed and kneaded by Bailey's angelic hands. Bailey rubbed the sides of Lily's arms, creating a delightful friction while her tongue traced the contours of Lily's lips. Then her hands moved to the base of Lily's neck as her nose grazed gently against the latter's. With eyes closed, Lily titled her neck away from Bailey's mouth, exposing her supple collarbone. Bailey's lips began tracing the soft flesh while she peppered the base of Lily's neck and the spot at the base of her chin with butterfly kisses that barely left a mark.

_I kissed a girl just to try_

_I hope my boyfriend don't mind it_

In her hazy frame of mind, Lily's thoughts drifted onto the fact that Oliver's kisses had never made her body respond this way. Oliver's lips on her body had never ignited this slow-burning fire coursing through her veins, searing through her stomach, making it difficult for her to breathe, to fathom any other reality apart from this one. It was as if Bailey's lips had found their way into that region of Lily's brain which controlled her nerve endings. Because she had never felt this numb before, like a wave that had knocked her right off her surfboard, sending her crashing into the salty depths of the ocean without any hope of returning to the surface for air.

_It felt so wrong_

_It felt so right_

_Don't mean I'm in love tonight_

Lily's hands moved up towards Bailey's face and held her in place while she kissed her fiercely, nipping gently at Bailey's bottom lip and the base of her chin with her teeth before connecting their lips once more. Bailey's breath quickened at the feel of Lily's hands and mouth holding her captive. Cody's face was slowly disappearing from her memory as she focused on the girl in front of her who was making her feel things that she'd never felt before, things that were forbidden to good girls like her. She had never felt so exposed and so free before in her life. With Moose, her first boyfriend, his hands had been clumsy, inexperienced and selfish as they touched her. They weren't gentle, yet assertive like Lily's, as if she knew instinctively what drove her to her limits.

_I kissed a girl and I liked it_

_I liked it_

Bailey shuddered as Lily's fingertips found their way under the base of her tank top where they began slowly tracing imaginary lines across the small of her back and her naval, sending shock waves through her brain. While Lily felt completely numb, Bailey felt like her entire body was vibrating like a live wire. It was like the first time she'd learnt to ride a horse, except that the swooping sensation of falling was more pronounced than ever. She gasped slightly when Lily suddenly grabbed hold and pulled her flush against her own body, the hammering of their hearts creating a slow rhythm at the point where their chests were almost touching.

They were completely oblivious to the sound of the cabin door opening slowly and Miley entering, looking thoroughly exhausted.

"Oh my gosh, Lily. Those interviewers asked me some of the dumbest questions in the history of dumb questions, like…what's going on here?!" Miley asked in alarm.

Lily and Bailey's lips separated with a loud comical pop as they stared in horror at Hannah Montana (or in Lily's case, just her best friend) standing before them.

"Um, we…uh, this was…" Lily spluttered haphazardly, but Miley was already out the door.

The door shut behind her sharply and Miley slumped against the adjacent wall and closed her eyes. She tried to expel the images from her mind, but it was near impossible. Lily was kissing another girl. The latter seemed vaguely familiar to Miley; she was certain she had seen her face a few days ago. Then it hit her: the girl with the strange Japanese greeting who wanted to come to her Hawaii concert with her boyfriend, the guy she ate cake off back at the Boston Tipton. Wait, that was his twin brother.

"Oh sweet niblets," Miley mumbled painstakingly, feeling a sudden headache coming on.

She couldn't deal with this now, much less think about the repercussions for Lily and Oliver's relationship in the wake of her best friend's questionable sexual orientation. Amidst her troubled thoughts, she began to feel desperately thirsty.

"I need a drink," Miley announced abruptly before sprinting off in the direction of the Smoothie Bar.

**The End**

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**

**Musical References (in order of appearance):**

1) Madonna – Substitute For Love

2) Katy Perry – I Kissed A Girl (And I Liked It)

**A/N:**

**Lily Truscott/'Lola Luftnagle' (played by Emily Osment) is the best friend of Miley Stewart/'Hannah Montana' from the hit Disney show, 'Hannah Montana'. She first appeared in the SLOD episode 'Double-Crossed' along with Hannah Montana and other characters from the Disney show, 'Wizards of Waverly Place'.**

**Bailey Pickett (played by Debby Ryan) is a fellow student at Seven Seas Academy aboard the S.S. Tipton and a close friend of Zack and Cody Martin, whom she begins dating at the end of the first season of SLOD.**


	18. Hurricane 13 IV

**Awkward Reunion**

by The Hurricane 13

*************

Zack and Cody arrived at the restaurant a little early so they were able to pick a good seat. The smell of grilled steak filled the air and the place was almost full.   The S.S. Tipton was docked in Los Angeles and their father was meeting them for dinner at Sparks Woodfire Grill. The twins were excited. It was the first time they had seen their dad since he and their mother came aboard for their birthday during the summer. As a bit of a bonus, they would get to meet his new girlfriend for the first time. Or so they thought...  As they saw their father approaching their table, it didn't take long for the brothers to recognize the woman he had at his side.

"Boys, this is my new girlfriend, Monet," Kurt said.

Zack and Cody stood up to greet the pretty blonde... and hoped she wouldn't recognize them.

"You may know her as Matisse. Multi-platinum recording artist. Grammy winner."

"Can't say I do," Zack said.

"Never heard of her," Cody said at the same time. "I mean... um... we listen to rap."

Zack gave Cody a look that let him know that he'd said too much as the group took their seats.

"Monet, these are my sons, Zack and Cody," Kurt said.

"Nice to meet you. Kurt has told me a lot about you two," Monet said.

"Oh, I'm sure most of it isn't true," Zack joked.

He looked over to Cody who was looking at the floor in an apparent attempt to hide his face and popped the younger twin on the side of the leg with the back of his hand. When Cody turned and looked at him, Zack gave him another look that translated as "Really?" Cody, realizing that he and his brother shared the same face, raised his head and stopped trying to hide his own.   As dinner progressed, the brothers got more and more confident that Matisse didn't recognize them and were able to catch up with their father without the awkwardness. Thankfully, the conversation never turned to Matisse's music, specifically the music video for the song Just the Two of Them which Cody had appeared in.

"Well, honey, you ready to go?" Kurt asked after everyone had finished eating.

"I'm ready when you are, babe," Monet said.

She leaned in and gave Kurt a kiss, providing Cody his first awkward moments since the first few minutes of the meeting. He could feel himself blushing as he watched his father kiss the same woman he had once kissed.

"Dad, can't you guys stay a little longer. We're leaving in the morning," Zack said.

"Oh, son, I wish we could, but we've gotta be at the studio in about half an hour," Kurt said. "I promise that when we go on tour, I'll come see you guys in every city we're in at the same time."

"Thanks, dad," Zack said as the group began getting up to leave.

"I love you guys," Kurt said grabbing Zack and Cody in a group hug. "I miss you."

"We love you, too, dad," Zack and Cody said in unison.

When their father finally released them, it was Matisse's turn to say good by.

"It was nice meeting you, boys," She said.

Then she stepped forward and gave Zack a hug.

"Bye, Zack."

"Bye."

Then, she hugged Cody. As she did, she whispered in his ear.

"Bye, Wing."

**The End.**

**

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**

**Notes on the pairing: **

Kurt is the father of Zack and Cody.

Matisse is a character that Cody (using the alias, Wing Lee) met (and kissed) in the SLOZAC episode – What the Hey!


	19. Fizzy Starburst II

**Southern Guys**

by Fizzy Starburst

It was a long and boring night for Skippy, the Tipton Hotel's night manager. It was just him and the all-too empty lobby. No one was checking in, no one was checking out, and surprisingly enough, he couldn't sleep. Usually, this was a task involuntarily performed. But tonight, for some reason, something was keeping him awake. Something was keeping his eyes opened and his mind very alert. And in all honesty, he found it rather annoying. Usually, Mr. Moseby would get mad at him for falling asleep when a guest needed his service. Tonight, no one was here, and he was wide awake. He pondered the idea of karma, and began to wonder if that was what was causing tonight's sudden case of insomnia.   While still in deep thought, he heard someone come in.

He looked over to the door, to see a young and rather handsome man standing in the entrance. With a quick glance at his clothing, Skippy easily determined he was of his kind. Country folk.   The young man walked up to the counter.

"Welcome to the Tipton." Skippy smiled, his voice rang out in his usual southern twang.

"Well Howdy there partner!" The young man smiled in return, proving he had a twang of his own. "My name is Moose, and I'mma need a room for the night."

"Well Mr. Moose, I can set you up right here." Skippy then went on to do the usual, asking his information, assigning him a room.

When he finished, he asked, "If ya don't mind my askin', what brings you all the way out here? You sure ain't from Boston, are ya?"

"Well, the roommate of my girlfriend--well, ex-girlfriend--flew me out here to partake in the Corn Cob festival..."

Moose went on to explain the whole story, how London Tipton--yes the same London Tipton whose father owns the hotel--flew him from Kettle Corn on her private jet to the S.S. Tipton, how he competed for Bailey's affection and still lost in the end, and how now he was stuck in Boston, waiting to catch his plane the next morning.

"I'm awful sorry to hear about your girlfriend." Skippy sympathized.

"Aw, it's okay. See, back in Kettle Corn, she was the prettiest girl I knew. But once London flew me out onto the boat, I saw that Bailey wasn't all that pretty, it's just that every other girl in Kettle Corn is ugly! But there were some fancy lookin' females on that boat, I tell you. And the guys weren't all that bad either."

That last sentence caught Skippy by surprise. Did Moose just imply that he was interested in guys? Suddenly, Skippy felt like he wasn't the only guy from the south who wasn't interested in all the southern belles, but his fellow southern guys.

"Did you just--?"

"Oh darnnit. I did, Din't I? Well yeah," Moose admitted, "I swing both ways. But I ain't never told no one before. Back in Kettle Corn, if you're bi, you're queer. And queers are considered, well, queer."

"I felt the same way back when I lived in my small-town in Texas!" Skippy exclaimed. "But once I got here to Boston, well, there were so many gays being open to it, that I decided that I may as well be open about it too."

"Wait a minute. You're gay?" Moose asked.

Skippy nodded, "Yup."

"Well I find that's awful cool of you to admit it."

"Aw, thanks partner." Skippy smiled.

Then somehow, the two locked eyes.

'Skippy has beautiful eyes,' Moose thought. 'Two dark pools of mud brown, a mud I want to drown in.'

Before he knew what was happening, he was pulling himself further and further over the desk, closer and closer to him. Skippy felt ecstatic. He knew what was happening, and for the first time ever, he was going to kiss a very cute boy and not have to make up some strange lie about it. Finally, the distance between their lips was no more, and the heavenly taste of the other graced their lips.   How long the two of them stayed there, neither of them would ever remember, or know in the first place. However, when they broke apart, they were both smiling.

'Moose has an awful nice smile.' Skippy thought.

Suddenly, he cleared his throat. "Well sir, here is your room key," he said in a professional tone of voice, while handing him the key, "And thank you for choosing the Tipton for your overnight stay."

"Uh, thanks." Moose sounded confused. He then looked him straight in the eye, "For everything."

**The End.**

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**Notes on the pairing:**

Moose is Bailey's ex-boyfriend and appeared on one episode of SLOD.

Skippy is the night manger of the Tipton hotel and made a couple of appearances on SLOZAC.


	20. Snapplelinz III

**Snicker Doodles And Penthouse Suites**

By Snapplelinz

Miley Stewart/Hannah Montana's POV:

I strolled down towards the hotel lobby with one sole purpose in mind. Being on tour for several months had given me the strangest cravings: Curly Fries dipped in chocolate ice-cream being the tamest of them. Maybe it was the late hours rehearsing through my newest songs, without the company of my two best friends, Lily and Oliver, who were still in Malibu and as lovey-dovey as ever in their new romantic relationship.

While I do miss them a lot, I'm kinda glad that I don't have to put up with their nauseating displays of affection. At least they're dating each other and not Palumbo (ew) and Jackson (I just threw up in my mouth a lil' bit). Thank the Lord for small mercies…

But thinking of Lily and Ollie just made me think more about the fact that I was currently in Boston and dateless. There was Jake, but that had been on and off more times than the electricity in my house. After so many years, it had become more of a game than any real feelings of love and affection. Plus, the boy used way too much hair product than what was required for any celebrity.

Since I was going to be in Boston for a week doing a concert and several interviews, I had asked Daddy if we could check into the Tipton so I could catch up with my two favourite twins, Zack and Cody Martin. Imagine how bummed out I was when I found out from the hotel manager (Esteban Julio Ricardo – sweet niblets, I can't say that man's whole name!) that Zack and Cody were still on board the S.S. Tipton attending school at High Seas Academy along with Mr. Moseby (the old manager). I had done a concert aboard the ship a few months ago and managed to catch up with them briefly. I guess their semester abroad wasn't over yet. I wonder if Cody ever started dating that girl he tried to get the Hannah Montana tickets for during the Scavenger Hunt.

So here I am in the Boston Tipton once more, alone and trying to satisfy a craving for Snicker Doodles on Rice Cakes. I sauntered over to the candy counter and found no one there. All that I could see on the counter was a gold name tag with the name 'Nia Moseby' engraved on it in calligraphy. A strange knot formed in my chest and I felt momentarily relieved that she wasn't at the candy counter.

Something very strange had been going on between the two of us for the past few days since my arrival. I got the very distinct impression that she was, I don't know, maybe checking me out. Or Hannah, or maybe the both of us. But I wasn't exactly sure; call it a girl's intuition about another girl. All I'm saying is that every time I came to the candy counter to buy some candy, things just got really awkward for some reason.

I'd see it as clearly as Uncle Earl's beer belly every time. It's obvious that Nia's real loud and likes to make jokes whenever I see her talking to the other Tipton employers. But the minute I get close to her, she shuts her yap faster than I can call out 'Mamaw's Card Shark Fridays'. Then she gets really nervous when she's talking to me, giggly and kinda clumsy too (is it kosher to drop that much candy on the floor before people start asking questions?). And then of course, there was the weird tingling feeling that I got in my stomach and fingers whenever our hands accidentally touched.

It usually happened right after I'd paid for my purchase. She'd hand me my receipt and my candy. And there it would be, the tips of our index fingers and thumbs brushing clumsily, yet effortlessly against one another's. On the one occasion, I nearly gasped out loud from the tingling electricity that pulsed through my hand and coursed through the rest of my body from her warm touch. Am I going crazy here? And what is her problem anyway? No ordinary girl can giggle that much in the space of a minute, not to mention having that much static electricity in your body. That's all it was, wasn't it?

Too bad I had to answer that question today of all days. It was the day before Valentines and I was already feeling depressed. I wished I could be doing a concert instead or working on a new track in the studio. But Daddy had given me the day off so I could catch up on some R&R. Sweet niblets!

While I was busy cursing under my breath, Nia suddenly appeared from behind a shiny wooden door marked 'Staff Only' just beyond the candy counter. She appeared to be in the midst of a conversation with another Tipton employee, no doubt telling him or her a really good joke. It was kinda funny how her laughing expression froze in midair when she finally saw me. Too bad it became just plain uncomfortable again a second later.

In another second, she had rearranged her features into a professional mask as she approached me. I had to give the girl snaps for her quick reflexes, something I hadn't quite mastered in all my years as Hannah Montana.

"Ms Montana, how are you today? What can I get you?" Nia asked in a politely bland voice. I could still make out the ghost of a sparkle in her eye while she talked to me.

"Hi, Nia. I'm fine, thank you. I wanted to know if you had any more Snicker Doodles." I stated politely, flashing her my most brilliant smile.

Nia blushed slightly as she bent down under the counter so I could only see the top of her head now. She was back on her feet a few seconds later.

"There don't seem to be any Snicker Doodles here. I'll just have a look in the back for you. I'll be right back." She explained quickly, flashing me a nervous smile.

I murmured my thanks as she disappeared through the shiny wooden door again. I began tapping a beat with my nails against the top of the smooth counter top. When I start getting impatient, I start looking around me. And when I start looking around, there's no telling what I might find. Only this time, I kinda wished I'd stuck to just looking around. And not in front of me.

I wouldn't even have seen it, if not for the flash of gold that connected with my eye, caused by the glare of the shimmering chandelier overheard when I looked directly at it. It was a medium-sized notebook covered in what looked like filmy gold wrapping paper. It was opened near the middle of the book with words scrawled into it with a smudgy black pen. It was positioned partially below the counter top in what looked like a wooden pigeon hole, but still sticking out in such a way that if you bent over the counter top, you'd still be able to see it. At this point, I would looked away and gone on ignoring it. But something written near the top right-hand margin caught my eye. The book was upside down, but I could still make out what clearly said 'hannaH'. That's when I realised that it was 'Hannah' spelt backwards.

I should have let it go right then and there, but my stupid curiosity got the better of me. Have you ever looked up your own name during a Google search? Well this moment was something like that, except for the fact that I'm already Hannah Montana and my name was bound to get several million hits on the Internet by default anyway. But when you found what looked like your own name (or your fake name) in what now occurred to me was someone's private diary, written in black scrawling letters, what began as innocent curiosity now turned into full on 'Peeping Tom' (or Hannah in this case) syndrome.

Before I knew it, my whole upper body was hunched over the top of the counter, ready to pull back in case anyone saw from either end. I learned this neat trick of reading writing upside down or backwards from all the times when Lily and I passed notes during class without making it look like we were. A few more glances at the writing upside down and I had gotten the gist of the writing: it involved a dream featuring non other than yours truly. But as to the details of that particular dream…

My moment of triumph suddenly turned to horror when I jerked my neck back suddenly, giving myself unwanted whiplash when I pulled my whole body away from the candy counter in my haste to get the heck away. I had to catch myself from tripping over my own feet and falling backwards into Mr. Moseby's favourite vase (even I knew about that damn vase). I caught the top of the counter and steadied myself, heaving a sigh of relief.

It would've been fine if Nia hadn't suddenly reappeared from behind the wooden door, my Snicker Doodle in her hand, a look of surprise on her face at my bizarre position. Then I made the mistake of letting my eyes wander back to the diary concealed under the counter. Her eyes caught mine and followed them to the golden notebook. Then they flickered back to mine, a mixture of embarrassment and anger written on her face. This girl looked like she could throw a punch or two. Oh darn. Okay, Miley, time to use that brain of yours and make a run for it.

"You know what, I changed my mind about the candy bar. This one's on me, or on you. I-I-I, nevermind." I spluttered rapidly, feeling like my tongue was glued to the roof of my mouth.

"Miss Montana," I heard Nia stammer. But I had already turned my back on her.

"No really, it's cool. I love Boston. Go Celtics!" I yelled out like a complete moron as I literally sprinted to the elevator doors, welcoming the cheerful ding as the doors opened. I caught one last glimpse of her sad expression before the doors mercifully closed.

From there, it was just a question of racing up to my Penthouse suite located on the 25th floor. I closed the door sharply behind me and ran to my bedroom. Daddy wasn't back yet from his luncheon with Hollywood Records. Jackson hadn't come on this trip because he had to work and let's face it, Rico was like the devil's spawn when it came to mean bosses. At least I was granted some privacy for a good long while. And judging by the content of one candy counter girl's diary entries, it looked like I was going to need it…

****************

No One's POV:

10 minutes before Miley's untimely arrival in the lobby, Nia Moseby had been busy writing furiously in a gold-covered notebook while sitting in her bar stool behind the candy counter at the Boston Tipton. She was trying so desperately to get down the gist of their frantic thoughts while trying to stop herself from dozing off at her desk. If Esteban caught her taking a nap at her desk again, he would be sure to give Millicent all the good shifts from now on. And Nia had the perfect system: clock in around 9am which wasn't too early, take a 20-minute tea break at noon; go for an hour-long lunch break around 3pm and let Millicent deal with the screaming school kids and cranky businessmen, then finish the rest of her shift from 4pm-6pm.

And she was so tired this morning, more so than usual. She wasn't generally a morning person, but today really took the cake. And she had no idea that it was all about to go up in smoke, all because she had to bring her diary with her to work. But she had taken it out of her backpack all the same, propped it atop the counter and began writing. At first she had begun slowly. But after a minute or two, her deepest thoughts began to flow more freely from the tip of her cheap black Bic pen to the middle of the blank white page:

Towards the end of her narrative, she was beginning to really enjoy herself. But before she could get it all down, Patrick had startled her when he came unexpectedly towards the candy counter.

"Nia!" Patrick called out hurriedly.

"Mother-f…Patrick, you scared me! What is it?" Nia demanded exasperatedly, shutting her diary with a loud clap.

"The new candy has just arrived from our suppliers." Patrick explained quickly.

"And?" Nia prompted impatiently with a wild gesture of her hands.

"And…I need you to bring some of the boxes to the candy counter and unpack them. Esteban wants them packed and ready before your lunch break." Patrick stated tersely.

With a groan, Nia got up from her chair. She hated hauling in the boxes with the new candy in them. They always left her muscles screaming in protest. Before she got up and followed Patrick, she made sure she stashed her diary in a pigeon hole just under the candy counter top so that no brown nosers could see it. If only she had stashed it just a little further in…

*****************

Nia Moseby's POV:

Oh my God, this is it. I'm dead. Hannah Montana's gonna get me fired. And when Esteban fires me, then Uncle Marion's gonna come right back from the Mediterranean Sea to kill me for screwing up the best job I've ever had. And then I'll be shipped back to Aunt Lily's for more 'crueller-than-usual-punishment'. That's if she's back from Alaska already. Oh God, why me? What did I do to deserve this?

Oh wait, that's right. It was because of my stupid diary. And my even dumber dream about Hannah Montana that I just had to write down in it. That damn book will probably used as 'Exhibit A' in my murder trial. What in the hell is wrong with me? But I couldn't help it. It's a diary of my deepest, darkest secrets and most private thoughts. That's what it's for. And that dream I had a few nights ago was just way too good to just let it fade into oblivion without at least trying to remember it first.

I had dreamt that I wasn't Nia Moseby, Marion Moseby's niece and the temporary candy counter girl at the Boston Tipton (instead of that stuck-up, know-it-all, more-bones-than-booty, Maddie Fitzpatrick). Instead I was Nia Moseby, the rapper-turned singing sensation and the spokes model for Nike footwear. And I was staying in the Tipton's best Penthouse suite (which just happened to be the suite occupied by Hannah Montana right now). Anyway, Hannah was there too, looking as sexy as ever in a neon pink body suit with 10-inch heels and that gorgeous blonde hair of hers. We were hanging out in the living room along with London Tipton (who is actually a friend of mine) and Maddie (I just threw up in my mouth a lil'). The four of us were laughing and doing tequila shots like there was no tomorrow, just enjoying one another's company. After Maddie and London had gotten pretty much wasted, they just turned to each other and started making out right there on the sofa, pretty much ignoring me and Hannah. Hannah was sitting next to me; we caught each other's eye and just started laughing like crazy till our stomachs hurt. Then we caught each other's eyes again, this time staring longer than what was necessary. It felt like her blue-grey eyes were burning holes right into my skin, like she was looking right through me while she looked straight into my eyes. Before I could stop her, the smile had disappeared from her face as she leant closer towards me, her cool breath coming out slowly against my mouth as she closed my eyes. The only thing I thought of right before I bent towards her was that I hoped she had soft lips.

That's when I woke up, sometime just after dawn, feeling kinda grumpy. Why did you always have to wake up right in the middle of a good dream? But that was just it, wasn't it? What made it such a great dream anyway? Shouldn't I just be happy that it had been about Hannah Montana, my favourite singer. But no, it had to be about the two of us almost making out. I mean, what was that about? Does that mean that I'm into girls?

But I like guys. Guys like Taye Diggs with dazzling smiles, dark skin, with hot bodies and abs that went on forever. My last boyfriend, Montell, didn't have the hot body or the smile, but he worked at the cineplex down the street as an usher and always got me free tickets to see the latest films. And he was a good kisser; an okay kisser, actually. But then he dumped me because get this – I'm too bossy! Can you believe that? Me, bossy? Just because I know what I want and speak my mind? So what if I told him a few times that he needed to fix his front teeth. That's just the truth, ain't it? Granny always used to tell me, 'Child, whatever you want in life, you gots to fight for it. And where a man's concerned, never let him walk all over you. If you do, you're no better off than a poor man's slave.'

And that's what I tried to do with every relationship I'd ever had, control everything so that I wouldn't be made to look like a fool. And look where it had got me: horny and alone the day before Valentines. And now I'm starting to fantasise about a certain celebrity pop star with a heavenly voice and golden hair. This is so messed up. How did this even happen?

It was ultra weird when she saw that I had seen her peeking in my diary. She didn't even take the candy in the end and ran off saying something about loving Boston and the Celtics. I'm not even sure what that's supposed to mean; all I know is that I support the Lakers. The Celtics' defence game sucks. If I didn't know any better, I'd say she was embarrassed about being caught in that position. Like it even matters at this point.

I guess it had all started a few days ago when she had first checked in with her manager. It was clear that she had been expecting stupid Maddie when she first came to the candy counter. But she'd been so cute when she asked me if I had any Snicker Doodles and liquorice sticks. And then I had the strangest tingling feeling in my hands every time we touched. Am I crazy or did she feel it too?

What the hell am I saying? Of course she didn't feel it too. She's Hannah Montana, the most famous singer in the known world. Why on earth would she (another girl FYI) feel a damn thing for someone she doesn't even know, much less a stand-in candy counter who can't even afford a cab ride across town?

Nope, it's definitely all in my stupid head. And now I'm gonna have to get a job at Chucky Cheese. Too bad I didn't know just how much trouble I was in when Esteban came towards me, carrying a gift basket and looking really strange.

"I just got a call from Meez Montana. She said she would like to see the cendy counter girl." Esteban began grimly.

What the f-? Oh God, oh God. This is it. She wants me to come up to her suite so that she can lay into me for having all kinds of nasty dreams about her. Oh man, why didn't I get a job at the subway? At least that way, I could just catch a train if I got into any trouble with the man. Or the girl in this case. Okay, Nia, it's time to kiss some serious celebrity boo-tay and do some crying if necessary.

"See me? Is there a problem?" I squeaked in my most innocent voice.

Naturally, Esteban didn't buy it, narrowing his eyes at my expression.

"I don't know what you've said to upset Meez Henna Montenna, but just take this complementary gift basket filled with candy up to her suite and see if there's anything you can do to make her happy." Esteban instructed tersely.

After he had left, I quickly opened up the new box of candy and began digging frantically for more bars of Snicker Doodles. I made a small hole in the basket and began piling as many of them into the already full basket. Maybe the sight of her favourite candy bar might soften her up a little. Or not.

The ride in the elevator up to the 25th floor went way too quickly. In a matter of seconds, I was outside the door to Hannah Montana's suite. On another day, this might've been the best day of my life. But sadly, life just doesn't work that way, not for someone like me at least. It took a full five seconds before I finally squared my shoulders and knocked on the door gently. People could say a lot of nasty things about me. But there's one thing that no one can call me, and that's a coward.

After the longest pause in the history of the world, I heard the faint murmur of someone tiptoeing up to the peephole and then the rustling of the chain on the door being moved. Then the door swung open to reveal Hannah Montana, standing in front of me, with a blank expression on her face. Even in my state of nervousness, I couldn't help staring at her: she was wearing a stone-washed denim mini-skirt that complimented her tanned legs, a white tank-top that covered at least two-thirds of the skirt and a few thin gold bands that covered her wrists. She was pretty without even trying to be.

"Miss Montana. I would like to present you with a gift basket of candy, complimentary of the Boston Tipton." I intoned as calmly as possible, trying to calm my rapidly beating heart.

"Thank you. Won't you please come in?" Hannah asked me in a formal tone, stepping back into the living room to let me pass.

Oh snap, she's using that 'formal-voice-right-before-I-whip-yo-butt' tone. I knew that tone too well, having been on the receiving end of it for most of my life. Swallowing slightly, I followed her into the living room and stood stiffly in front of the glass coffee table after setting the basket down on it. She took up a position in front of the sofa, standing facing me and folding her arms. It looks like I'm gonna have to start this awkward conversation. Hooray.

****************

Miley's POV:

I have no idea what I'm doing here. Okay, so this is my suite, so I know why I'm here in a larger sense. But I don't know why I made an impulsive call to the lobby and asked the hotel manager to send the candy counter girl up to my suite because I wanted to talk to her. What could we possibly talk about? So she had a weird dream about London Tipton and some girl named Maddie making out, big deal. Wait, isn't Maddie the other candy counter girl that helped me sit on my suitcase that one time when I couldn't fit my new Arturo Vertalli boots inside? Oh my God, this just got even weirder. I mean, does this Nia girl, you know, swing that way? I mean, I don't swing that way, right? That's why I called her up here, to tell her I'm flattered, but at the same time politely explain that I don't feel 'that way' about other girls. Then offer her complementary tickets to my concert in New York so she wouldn't feel bad. That's the game plan. So why I haven't said anything yet? Just when I was really starting to panic, she mercifully started talking first.

****************

Nia's POV:

"Look Miss Montana, I feel like I owe you an apology," I began hesitantly.

"You do?" Hannah asked quizzically.

"Yeah. I'm not exactly sure what you saw in my diary. But I apologise if there was anything in there that offended you." I explained as sincerely as possible

"I see." Hannah remarked plainly.

"Look, I'm just a candy counter girl. I'm not a crazy or anything. I just think you're an amazing singer and a really wonderful person. I didn't mean to freak you out or anything. If you give me another chance, I really need this job and…"

**************

Miley's POV:

For a moment there, I completely zoned out on what she was saying. It took me completely by surprise when this seemingly proud girl started apologising to me. I should be the one apologising to her; I'm the one who read her diary. So what if she had a dream about me?

While she babbled on about something to do with her job, I started looking at her, I mean, really looking at her. She was wearing a typical candy counter girl uniform: baby blue blouse, emerald-green tie, her gold name tag attached to it; a plaid dark green skirt, black knee-high socks and plain black shoes, kinda like the ones that nurses wear. But for a boring uniform, she really knew how to rock it. Don't know if I could. Come to think about it, she was pretty attractive. Not in a strictly conventional way, but like she had a strong commanding presence that made you sit up and take notice. She has really great chocolate brown skin and big brown eyes. She had curves in all the right places. And her black hair, which had been styled into thin braids, was tied back into a neat pony tail. Was it possible to look this larger than life in something so plain? Wait, what am I saying? I'm complimenting a complete stranger on her appearance. Oh sweet niblets, she stopped talking and now she's giving me a weird look. Say something quick.

***************

Nia's POV:

"Nia, Nia is it? It's okay. Really, there's nothing to apologise for. I should be the one to apologise. I shouldn't have read your diary. I just saw the name 'Hannah' and got carried away. So you can relax, that's all I wanted to tell you." Hannah explained rapidly, gesturing wildly with her hands.

Wait, apologise to me? That's why she called me up here? Thank you God! Oh happy day!

"No it's okay, really. There's no need to apologise. Let's just forget the whole thing." I chided in a winning voice, flashing her my most brilliant smile.

I was pleasantly surprised when she smiled back at me, flashing pearly whites as we got closer towards the suite door. I felt a swooping sensation in my stomach that had nothing to do with the freezing cold air conditioning in the suite. But I was even more amazed when she unfolded her arms and extended her hand towards me…

*****************

Miley's POV:

This is it. I don't know what's gotten into me. But all I knew was that I was feeling really lonely in the big old suite of mine. And this complete stranger, yet extremely charming candy counter girl, had made me feel better than I had I had felt in a long time. That's when I had unfolded my arms and extended my hand to her. There was just one more thing I needed to test the waters on. If I was wrong, I'd happily forget the entire thing and move onto my next crazy fantasy. But if I was right…

"I'm game if you are," I murmured slowly while holding my hand in mid-air towards her.

The ball was entirely in her court now on whether she wanted to meet me halfway…

**************

Nia's POV:

It took me about 3 seconds to make up my mind. My hand, which had been resting comfortably on my waist, moved up towards her hand. I imagined that it would be awesome shaking Hannah Montana's hand or touching any part of her body. But I never thought it would feel like this. Her small petite hand fit perfectly in mine, her thumb gently caressing my skin.

***************

Miley's POV:

Her hand was finally in mine and it fit perfectly. It was so warm and reassuring. There it was again, that feeling of electricity sweeping through my entire body. I can't even remember having this sensation when I touched Jake. I can't take this anymore. Screw it.

***********

No One's POV:

Nia was more than a little surprised (and a little rebuffed) when Hannah let go of her hand almost immediately. Just as she was about to make an excuse to exit the suite, she heard Hannah murmur something along the lines of 'screw it'. Miley suddenly grabbed Nia's shoulders forcefully and shoved her against the back wall just millimetres away from the door. Nia didn't even have time to be alarmed or confused when Hannah Montana's lips connected with hers, brushing slowly against them in time to her rapidly beating heart. Nia's hands had moved up towards Hannah's neck, caressing the soft skin of her nape and moving down towards her shoulder blades. She opened her mouth wider as Miley's tongue flicked gently against her lips. Miley's breath hitched in her throat when she felt Nia's hands wander down to her knees, grazing slowly against her skin and moving up to her thighs. She stopped at just the point where her skirt began and rested her warm hands there, moving them around in small circles. Miley heaved a small sigh of relief, considering that she hadn't let most boys (even the ones she liked) touch her there. But this moment seemed entirely removed from any sense of reality that she'd ever experienced. And she kinda liked it.

Nia moaned against Miley's cheek as the teen pop star's lips trailed down to her neck and her hands went down to her thighs, touching Nia in the exact spot where her skirt met her thighs. Nia's hands in turn moved towards Miley's wig and gripped the strands tenderly, getting lost in these feelings that were threatening to make her collapse into a puddle on the floor. It was a whole 5 minutes later when they finally pulled away from each other, noticeable blushes on both their faces and gasping loudly.

"Well, that was um," Nia began self-consciously.

"Yeah, um, definitely." Miley agreed with a nervous laugh.

"I've never done that before with another girl," Nia admitted quickly.

"Me neither. Wanna do it again?" Miley asked tentatively, biting her lip while she glanced back up at Nia as she watched her expression.

Nia's eyes almost popped right out of their sockets.

"Only if you want to. I mean, you don't have to do it just because I'm Hannah Montana. You're not a uh, slave or anything. You can walk right out of that door if you want to. I'm sure you have better things to do with your time." Miley babbled on nonsensically.

Nia chuckled at the look on Hannah's face.

"You're cute when you're nervous. And if by better things, you mean my job, then I don't think I wanna walk out of here, if that's alright wit u," Nia pointed out wearily, gesturing to the door.

"Then don't," Miley suggested playfully.

Nia gazed at her, narrowing her eyes slightly.

"You want me to skip out on my shift for the rest of the day and just stay up here with you?" she questioned pointedly.

"Is that a problem?" Miley asked curiously.

"Hell no. I was just making sure we was on the same page," Nia replied cheerily, which made Miley laugh loudly.

"I'll just call Millicent and tell her to cover the rest of my shift. She'll be happy to," Nia added with a sly grin on her face while she grabbed her cellphone from her pocket.

After Nia had successfully called in sick, complaining about possible food poisoning, she told Esteban that she had exited the hotel through the fire escape (after leaving Miss Montana's room of course) and had decided to go see a doctor. Once she hung up the phone, she glanced nervously back at Hannah. She took a tentative step back towards her, closing the gap in a matter of seconds. Miley smiled broadly at Nia when their lips finally found one another's again.

****************

An hour later, Miley and Nia were sitting comfortably on the sofa in the living room, watching cartoons and laughing uproariously. Nia had discarded of her socks, shoes and tie unceremoniously on the floor and now sat in just her skirt and blouse. She had also taken the rubber band out of her ponytail and let her hair fall back down over her shoulders. Miley too sat back on the sofa, wearing just her skirt and tank top with one noticeable exception. Her Hannah Montana wig lay on the coffee table amidst the near empty gift basket. She blushed slightly as Nia began running her fingers through her soft honey-brown curls.

"I don't know why you wear that wig when you have such beautiful hair, Miley." Nia murmured sincerely.

In addition to discarding of the wig, Miley had begun telling Nia about her real life. Not everything, but definitely more than she'd ever told a complete stranger. Nia had in turn begun telling Miley about her life too. Not too much, but more than she'd ever told anyone, much less a celebrity.

"Double identity, remember? Without that wig, I couldn't have a normal life outside of being Hannah Montana. Can you imagine what would happen if everyone in my school knew who I was? They'd never leave me alone. Thank God for Lily and Oliver. I don't know what I'd do without them," Miley confessed genuinely.

"You're lucky to have friends like that who've got your back no matter what. But you're right, it would suck having everybody up in yo business 24-7." Nia agreed.

"You're lucky, you know that, Nia? You have a normal and uncomplicated life." Miley stated seriously.

Nia snorted as she reached towards the basket and took out another stick of liquorice.

"Oh, sure. Why bother with fame and fortune when you can have all this?" Nia asked self-deprecatingly while pointing facetiously to her golden name tag and her Tipton tie.

"Oh come on, Nia, you know what I mean. You get to live your life without anyone breathing down your neck all the time. You've got great friends and a family that loves you. You can go wherever you want, be whatever you want. Sky's the limit." Miley countered patiently.

"I never thought of it that way," Nia remarked pensively.

Before Miley could respond, her Blackberry began vibrating. Groaning aloud, she checked the caller I.D. and saw that it was her father. Not that she was unhappy to hear from him, but she had been enjoying herself thoroughly for the past hour that she'd clean forgotten about him. After speaking to him for about a minute, she put her Blackberry on the coffee table once more.

"Everything okay?" Nia inquired curiously, watching Miley's expression.

"Uh-huh. That was my Dad; he was at a meeting earlier. But it turns out that he's decided to go out for a night on the town. He won't be back for hours." Miley answered slowly.

"Cool. Well, I don't wanna take up any more of your time," Nia began awkwardly as she rose to her feet.

"Nia, please sit down. I wasn't asking you to leave. If you wanted to stay longer, I definitely wouldn't mind the company," Miley responded shyly.

"You don't mind?" Nia asked nervously.

Miley shook her head, a smile on her face.

"Okay, cool." Nia replied happily with a wide grin on her face as she sat back down again.

"Actually, there is something I wanted to ask you." Miley began abruptly.

"Cool, shoot." Nia offered.

"Well, my Dad just reminded me of this fundraiser being held here in downtown Boston tomorrow night that 'Hannah' is supposed to be attending. I really don't wanna go. But since I kinda have to, I was wondering…would you like to go with me?" Miley asked hesitantly.

Nia's eyes shot up for at least the third time after this bizarre chain of events had occurred.

"You want me to go with you to some swanky do' on Valentines Day? Like a date?" Nia asked, clearly dumbfounded.

"It doesn't have to be a date. We can go just as friends if you like. To be honest, I kinda hate Valentines when I don't, you know, have a boyfriend or my friends around." Miley admitted truthfully.

"I hate this stupid non-holiday too. It sucks when you don't have someone special to share it with." Nia agreed seriously.

"So what do you think?" Miley asked shyly.

"Well, it's not like I have anywhere else to be tomorrow night. Miss Montana, I would be honoured to go with you to your fundraiser." Nia replied sincerely, a warm smile playing on her lips.

Miley smiled in relief as she stared back at Nia.

"It's a date." She murmured slowly.

"It's a date." Nia agreed just as seriously.

"And just so we're clear," Miley began, cupping Nia's soft face gently in her hands.

"You don't have to call me 'Miss Montana'. When it's just us, it's always 'Miley'. Okay?" Miley asked firmly, a grin playing on her mouth while she stared into her brown eyes.

"Okay." Nia replied seriously while she stared into Miley's blue-grey orbs.

It wasn't long after before they resumed kissing. This time however, it was more about exploration and less about urgency, like they had all the time in the world.

**The End**

* * *

**A/N:**

For those of you who watched season 3 'The Suite Life of Zack and Cody', Nia (played by Giovonnie Samuels) is Mr. Moseby's niece who comes to work part-time at the Tipton as the candy counter girl so that Mr. Moseby can help her become a more responsible young woman. She appeared in about six episodes of season 3 while Ashley Tisdale was filming 'High School Musical' (when Maddie spends a semester in Antartica saving the penguins). I made use of this premise in this one-shot that Maddie had gone on yet another trip while the Martin twins are still aboard the S.S. Tipton, thereby giving Nia a part-time job at the Tipton again.

Miley Stewart/Hannah Montana doesn't really need much of an introduction, but I will mention that she has made two appearances in the Suite Life franchise so far: first in season 2 in SLOZAC in the episode 'That's So Suite Life Of Hannah Montana' along with guest star Raven from 'That's So Raven' and season 1 of SLOD in the 'Double-Crossed' cross-over episode featuring some of the characters from 'Wizards of Waverly Place' and 'Hannah Montana'.

Nia's dream sequence is actually a dream I had which inspired this one-shot. London and Maddie definitely did make out, I remember that much ; ) I think I'm developing an unusual food fetish that's showing in my latest one-shots. I hope I didn't offend any fans of the Celtics, I actually am a fan. Larry Bird forever! Alright, this is my first ever femslash on FF. Please be gentle.


	21. James Doyle III

**Seven Minutes in Purgatory**

by James Doyle

*****************

Nia Moseby tried her best to maintain an even temper as she approached her destination, with her co-worker Millicent riding shotgun.

"What are we doing in Southie?" whimpered Millicent through clenched teeth. "I never go to Southie."

"Somehow, I'm not surprised," snarked Nia. "Look, it's Amber's cousin's graduation party. I practically had to get down on my knees and beg her to let me bring you along."

"A graduation party," echoed Millicent. "With loud music, and all those people, and beer, and cigarette smoke. Nia, I don't think I can do this!"

"Oh, you're going to do this!" insisted Nia. "Even if I have to smash your kneecaps and carry you inside."

"Why are you making me do this?" asked Millicent.

"Because you're driving everyone at work crazy, and I promised Esteban that I'd loosen you up."

"Somehow, I don't think this is what he had in mind."

Nia grinned diabolically. "He didn't ask; I didn't tell."

Nia found a parking spot and led Millicent up to a second floor apartment. Nia knocked on the door, and Millicent froze solid as the most ruggedly handsome guy she'd ever seen answered the door.

"Hi, I'm Doug. Welcome to my shindig," greeted the young man. "And who might you ladies be?"

"Uh...uh..." shuttered Millicent, her eyes shifting back and forth nervously.

"I'm Nia, and this is Millicent," greeted Nia, pushing past Millicent to shake Doug's hand.

"Oh yeah, Amber's friends," acknowledged. "By all means, help yourselves to some munchies, mingle, have a good time!"

"You heard the man," goaded Nia, pushing Millicent into the room. They made the rounds in the incredibly crowded apartment, the raven-tressed Irish girl clinging to her black coworker for dear life. Eventually, Nia grew tired of having a hundred-pound appendage. Besides which, she really wanted Millicent to learn how to fly solo. Finally, she found her opportunity.

"Hey, Doug," greeted Nia as she suddenly found herself face-to-face with the guest of honor.

"Oh, hi again," replied Doug. "It's Nia, right?"

"That's right," confirmed Nia. "So Amber tells me you play soccer."

"Yeah, actually, I'm going to ZooMass on an athletic scholarship," elaborated Doug.

"You don't say," answered Nia. "Millicent loves soccer. Don't you, girl?"

"Uh...uh..." stammered Millicent as Nia shoved her in front of Doug.

"If yous will excuse me, I have to use the little girls' room," said Nia as she slipped away.

"So you like soccer," continued Doug.

"No," said Millicent. "I mean yes...I mean, I don't know...I mean...I never really thought about it."

"Okay," said Doug with an air of awkwardness in his voice. "I'm just gonna go get another beer."

Millicent stood like a statue in the middle of the floor, completely paralyzed as people ignored and maneuvered around her.

"Hey, I know you," greeted a familiar voice. Millicent turned to see a short scrawny kid, the only white kid she'd ever seen who could sport an afro, whom she immediately identified as one of Zack and Cody's friends. "You work at the Tipton. It's Mildred, right?"

"Millicent," she corrected. "And you're...Max?"

"I'm Mark," he corrected. "That's Max."

Mark directed Millicent's attention to a small crowd that had gathered around a slim, athletic brunette girl in a green jacket and army fatigues, showing off her moves as a song played.

_How you choose to express yourself _

_It's all your own and I can tell _

_It comes naturally , it comes naturally_

Max's arms, legs, shoulders, hips, and head, all gyrated in one continuous, fluid motion.

_You follow what you feel inside _

_It's intuitive you don't have to try_

_It comes naturally , mmmm, it comes naturally_

_And it takes my breath away _

_What you do, so naturally_

Max through out her arms and went absolutely insane as the chorus played.

_You are the thunder and I am the lightning _

_And I love the way you know who you are _

_And to me it's exciting _

_When you know it's meant to be_

_Everything comes naturally, it comes naturally _

_when you're with me, baby _

_Everything comes naturally, it comes naturally _

_ Bay bay baby_

"Wow, she is amazing," marveled Millicent.

"Yeah," said Mark. "Mikayla's come out with some bitchin' tracks since she ditched the pit-bull of a manager."

"I'm talking about Max," argued Millicent.

"Oh," replied Mark. "Yeah, I've seen all of her moves. And I do mean all of her moves."

"Just what is that supposed to mean?" demanded Millicent.

"Hey, I may not look like I got it," boasted Mark, "But trust me, I got it."

"You're a pig!" retorted Millicent.

"Oink, oink, baby," said Mark with a grin.

Millicent stomped off in a huff in search of Nia, intent on demanding that she take her home. Unfortunately, she found her ebony friend engaged in a rousing game of tonsil-hockey with Doug. Feeling incredibly overwhelmed, she found an empty spot on the couch, trying to ignore the lip-locked couple next to her, who were quite oblivious to her.

Some time later, several different people had sat next to Millicent, most of whom ignored her, as she tried desperately to ignore them. She kept an eye out for Nia, who was nowhere to be found.

"Hear ye, hear ye," announced Steve, Doug's one-year-younger brother. "It is my solemn duty as Master of Ceremonies to ensure that Doug isn't the only one hooking up at this soirée."

Everyone except Millicent laughed.

"Now then," continued Steve. "We're going to play a classic party game known as 'Seven Minutes in Heaven.' I have, in my hands, two hats. One contains the name of each and every dude, and the other contains the name of each and every chick. I will draw the name of the first girl, who will draw the name of a guy. Those two will spend exactly four-hundred and twenty seconds doing I-don't-wanna-know-what in our spacious coat closet. Once they've finished, the guy will draw the name of another girl, who will draw the name of another guy, the two of whom will retire to the closet, and so on and so forth.

"Now, our first contestant is..." said Steve as he drew a name. "Barbara Brownstein."

"Please pick me, please pick me, please pick me," chanted the tall, stout, redheaded fellow as his Jewish-Japanese girlfriend drew a name, then showed it to Steve.

"Charlie Elderidge," announced Steve.

Bob and Barbara looked at each other longingly as the skinny dirty blond kid led her into the closet.

"Five, four, three, two, one," chanted the crowd as Steve prepared to open the door. As he did, the crowd cheered at the sight of Charlie and Barbara swapping spit. She froze in embarrassment as Bob looked on with horror.

"How could you?" demanded Bob as Barbara looked into his eyes, hoping to find mercy.

"I'm so sorry," apologized Barbara as she began to tear up. "It's just...he kind of reminded me of Cody."

"I don't wanna hear it," dismissed Bob as he headed for the door. "I'm sorry I ever cared about you."

"Bob, wait!" called Barbara as she chased after them.

"Well, that was awkward," said Steve after a few moments of silence. "I guess I'll have to pick the next couple."

The next three couples seemed to enjoy themselves a good deal more, and nobody else's heart got broken. Millicent felt relieved that the last couple was about to be drawn, and she wouldn't have to be the one in the closet. Just then, her luck ran out.

"And our next lucky lady is..." announced Steve. "Millicent Morgan."

Millicent froze solid, and began to wish she'd go into cardiac arrest at that moment, from which she wasn't far. Her hand, however, seemed to take on a life of its own as Steve passed the hat in front of her. Her hand froze in mid-air after drawing the slip, which Steve removed from her hand.

"And Millicent will be spending seven minutes in heaven with..." announced Steve. "Mark Zarkovsky."

"What?" Cried Mark and Millicent in unison. A couple of jocks picked them up and tossed them into the closet.

"You can do or not do whatever you want," said Steve. "But for the next seven minutes, this is your home. Have fun!"

With that, Steve closed the door. The pair sat silent for two minutes before Millicent felt compelled to speak up.

"I can't believe I'm stuck in here with you," whined Millicent.

"Me?" retorted Mark.

"Yeah," continued Millicent. "You shouldn't have made those crude remarks about Max. She's a sweet girl."

"Yeah, she is," agreed Mark, pausing a moment before speaking his peace. "Look, the truth is, there's nothing going on between me and Max. She only agreed to be my date because they wouldn't let me in this stupid party otherwise. And you're right! It was really sweet of her, and I repay her by talking about her like a piece of meat."

"Well, at least you're willing to own up to it," granted Millicent. "So you've never even kissed Max?"

"Believe me, I'd like to," admitted Mark. "To be honest, I've never kissed anyone."

"Not even that model you were dating?" asked Millicent, suddenly recalling something she'd overheard from the twins.

"Okay, okay!" admitted Mark. "I kissed her plenty. But she was such a bimbo that it felt like kissing a mannequin, I thought dating her was cool at first, but once I got to know her, there was nothing beyond that hot bod. Believe me, I'm glad that didn't work out. She's the only one."

"I've never kissed a boy at all," confessed Millicent, feeling somehow compelled to reciprocate Mark's candor.

"You know, maybe we should kiss," suggested Mark.

"Are you serious?" asked Millicent, noticing the glow of Mark's watch light.

"By my watch, we still have another two and a half minutes," noted Mark. "Nobody has to know."

Millicent gulped. "Okay, but make it quick."

No sooner had Millicent said this than she felt Mark's lips touch hers. The boy's breath left something to be desired, but she found sensation of young man gently playing with her lips not altogether unpleasant. Arousing even. In fact, she'd never felt so aroused in her entire life. The entire experience of his lips entwined with hers, and the sensation of his hands in her black hair were entirely unfamiliar, and overwhelming. Millicent found, as so often happened with new experiences, that her brain simply couldn't process what she was thinking and feeling. Her heart began to race, her breathing became shallow and erratic, and she felt the blood rushing out of her head as she lost consciousness.

When Millicent awoke, she found herself lying in the backseat of Nia's car, with freeway lights rushing by.

"How long was I out?" asked Millicent.

"About half an hour," supplied Nia. "I got a call from Carey, asking where we were. She is not happy."

When Moseby left to be the Cruise Director aboard the S.S. Tipton, Nia, not wanting to change schools again, made arrangements to stay with Carey Martin until she graduated. Millicent began to fear that this incident might jeopardize this arrangement.

"You don't think she's gonna tell Mr. Moseby, do you?" worried Millicent.

"Oh, I can be pretty sure she'll keep that on the down-low," assured Nia. "Uncle Marion is still technically her boss, and can still fire her."

"I'm sorry I got you into trouble," apologized Millicent.

"Nah, I got myself into trouble," argued Nia. "And in case you were wondering, hooking up with Doug was a total disappointment."

"I'm sure you had a better evening than I did," countered Millicent. "I couldn't even get through a kiss without fainting."

"Don't worry," assured Nia. "The first one's always the hardest. You won't be as nervous next time."

"If there is a next time."

"Trust me girl: There will be."

*****************

The following Saturday, Millicent had just finished her shift when Mark came through the door.

"Hi," Millicent greeted timidly.

"Hi," said Mark with equal awkwardness. "How's it going?"

"Good, you?" Millicent answered quickly, not looking him in the eye.

"Can't complain," replied Mark, also avoiding eye contact.

"Mark."

"Yes, Millicent?"

"Look at me," she commanded.

Mark and Millicent looked into each other's eyes, and to their great surprise, didn't feel the least bit nervous, queasy, or light-headed.

"Wow," marveled Millicent. "I didn't think I'd ever be able to do that."

"What can I say?" replied Mark, playing with his collar. "When you got it, you got it. And I got it."

Millicent giggled at Mark's bravado.

"Is everything alright between you and Max?" asked Millicent.

"Yeah, we're still friends," answered Mark. "Bob and Barbara are history, though."

"Yeah, that was really sad," sympathized Millicent.

Mark paused for a moment before making his request.

"Look, Millicent," began Mark. "What happened the other night didn't exactly happen under the best of circumstances and I was wondering if maybe...we could try again?"

Millicent smiled diabolically as she placed the "closed" sign on the candy counter, then took Mark by the hand and dragged him off to the nearest utility closet.

**The End**

**

* * *

  
**

I wanted a Mikayla song for this story, but seeing as she only has one, I fictionalized a Selena Gomez song.

**Credits are as follows:**

**_"Naturally"_** Written by A. Armato, T. James, & D. Karaoglu

Originally performed by Selena Gomez & the Scene

From the Album Kiss & Tell (2009)

**Notes on the pairing:**

**Millicent** has been sighted working at the hotel candy counter a number of times in the _SLOZAC._

**Mark** is a friend of Zack and Cody's who first appeared in the episode –**_ 'Summer of Our Discontent' in __SLOZAC._**


	22. WyntirSno II

**Little Silver Cell Phone**

By WyntirSno

**_Friday 5:30pm…_**

"Cody, I am downstairs. I will wait for you in the lobby." Barbara said into her cell phone.

"OK sweetie it will be a few minutes, I have to finish making Zack's dinner. If I don't cook him something all he will eat is chocolate." Cody answered.

"That's ok Honey, I'll wait here on the sofa." She replied.

When Barbara sat down she felt something vibrate in the cushion. She stood up and saw a little silver cell phone stuck in the cushion. It was ringing, so she answered it.

"Hello?"

"Finally, Granddad where have you been, I have been calling you for hours?" The voice on the other end asked.

"Uh, sorry I'm not your Grandfather. I just found this phone in a couch cushion." Barbara said to the confused voice.

"He must have dropped it and that's why he wouldn't answer, I wonder where he is? I hope he is alright. I guess he is home by now. I will have Fred check on him. Oh… uh, I'm so sorry I didn't mean to ramble, I'm just worried about him." The voice said. "My name is Jeffery."

"Hi Jeffery, I'm Barbara, and that's ok, how can I get this back to your Grandfather, I'm sure he is lost without it?" Barbara asked.

"Thank you Barbara, that's really nice of you to ask, I'm sure he doesn't even remember where he lost it. He is probably back home in Michigan by now." Jeffery said. "Uh, I guess if you don't mind could you maybe just hang on to it for a couple of days then I can come and meet you at the Tipton and pick it up?" He asked her.

"No problem, I would be happy to hold on to it until you can pick it up." Barbara offered.

"Thank you, maybe, when I come to pick it up I could buy you a hot chocolate or something, it is the least I can do for such a thoughtful person." He offered.

"You don't have to do that, I'm just glad I can help your Grandfather. I don't mind holding on to it, I just hope he will be alright without it for a few days." She told him.

"I will have my cousin Fred check on him and make sure he is ok, I really appreciate that you will look after his phone for m… uh him." Jeffery said. He was really enjoying this phone call; he almost forgot it was for his Grandfather. 'Gotta remember why I called this girl.' He thought as he shook his head.

"OK, I guess that would be alright then." Barbara replied. She was actually getting a little nervous, what was wrong with her? The sound of his voice was really sexy.

"Great, OK then you hang on to the phone and I will call you and let you know exactly when I can pick it up." He said to her. "Oh, and Barbara thanks again." He added gratefully.

"Your welcome Jeffery. Talk to you later… bye." Barbara said.

"Bye."

Just as she hung up the phone, the elevator doors opened and out stepped Cody.

"Hi Barbara, sorry I took so long. You ready to go to the movie?" Cody asked as he wondered what was wrong with her. She looked a little nervous.

"Your not mad at me for taking so long are you?" He asked.

"What, uh, oh no Cody I'm not mad. Lets go, what movie were we going to see again?" Barbara asked him. She tried to relax hoping that he wouldn't notice that there was something else on her mind. She just couldn't seem to get the phone call out of her mind; there was just something about the sound of his voice…

Cody walked over and took her hand and they left for the movies. They walked down the street as they discussed the movie they were going to go see. The whole time the little silver cell phone was burning a hole in her pocket.

**_**********_**

**_Saturday around 6 pm…_**

The next day, all she could think about was Jeffery. She was glad it was Saturday so she didn't have to see Cody all day at school. She was afraid that he would notice that she was preoccupied and didn't want to have to lie to him. She didn't know why she couldn't get Jeffery out of her mind. She just couldn't wait 'til he called her again. Barbara had never stayed at home for so many hours doing nothing before, but she was afraid to go out; the phone might ring in front of someone, and it was her little secret. It was about 6 o'clock when the little phone finally rang. All of a sudden she was afraid to answer it.

"Hello?"

"Barbara, is that you?"

"Yes… uh, hi Jeffery."

"Hi, how are you doing tonight?" Jeffery asked her.

"Oh... uh, I'm alright, um... how are you?" She asked him back very nervously.

"I'm great, I was just wondering if you were free tomorrow night? I thought maybe we could get together and have that hot chocolate." He cheerfully asked her.

"I think that would be alright, what time? It can't be to late, because I have school the next day." She told him.

"Oh that's no problem, I have school too. How does 6 o'clock sound?" He asked.

"That would be great, where do you want to get together?" She asked back.

"Well, I was thinking about the Tipton." He answered.

"Oh, um... ok." She said quietly.

"Is that not ok?" He asked sounding concerned.

"No, no it's great. The Tipton at 6, it's a date…" She said stopping suddenly as she realized what she said.

'I hope I don't run into Cody.' That was all she could think about.

"Great I'll see you then, in the lobby, ok?" He asked.

" Yes, I will be there. Bye." She said.

"Bye, Barbara see you tomorrow."

**_**********_**

_**7pm Same Nite…**_

Barbara was just laying on her bed thinking about Sunday when she would see the person that went with that great voice, when all of a sudden her phone rang again.

"Hello?" Barbara said as she answered it.

"Hey Sweetie, I was wondering if you wanted to go bowling with me and Zack tomorrow night?" Cody asked.

"Oh Cody I would love too, but I can't. I uh, hurt my ankle earlier and I don't think I could bowl. I think I need to stay home and ice it so it will be ok for school on Monday. You two go and have a good time." Barbara lied to him.

"Oh no, do you want me to come keep you company?" He asked concerned for her health.

"No! Um, I mean no that's ok Sweetie I will be ok. Thank you for offering, you go with Zack and have fun." She said sounding alot sharper than she meant to.

"Oh, alright if you say so. I hope you feel better Honey. See you at school I guess." Cody said sounding hurt.

"OK Cody see you then. Bye Sweetie." She said very happy to just get off the phone.

'I am a terrible person, how can I do this to Cody? I have to go tho, I will regret it if I don't at least meet Jeffery. Besides… I do have to give him the phone back.' She thought to herself after she hung up the phone with Cody.

**_**********_**

**_5:55pm Sunday…_**

Barbara was sitting on the sofa with her back to Mr. Moseby's desk in the lobby of the Tipton waiting on Jeffery. As she sat there waiting she watched the elevator doors hoping that the twins were already gone. She was so scared she would run into Cody she could hardly sit still. Every time the elevator would ding she almost jumped up and ran. She happened to see movement to her right and noticed a tallish boy with brown hair enter the hotel. She watched as he looked around the lobby as if he were looking for someone. He noticed her staring at him and walked over to where she was sitting.

"Barbara?" He asked softly.

"Yes, are you Jeffery?" She said almost in a whisper.

"Yes, I am. It's nice to meet you, I would really like to thank you for taking care of my Grandfathers phone." He said. "Are you ready?"

"Yes." She said staring into his piercing green eyes.

He held out his arm bent at the elbow, like Cody always did.

"Shall we?" He offered.

She stood up and hooked her arm in his and they went into the restaurant.

Patrick was at his podium that evening and when they walked up he looked at Barbara like he was trying to figure something out. She looked down hoping he didn't recognize her.

"Welcome to 'Paolo's at the Tipton'. My name is Patrick, may I have your name sir?" He asked Jeffery.

"McGafferty" He answered.

"Ah yes sir, table for two, right this way." Patrick instructed as he led the way to their table. He seated them at a table in the center of the room.

As he held Barbara's chair for her to sit he leaned in and whispered in her ear.

"Where is your usual blonde escort?"

She almost slid out of the chair.

"Oh, I'm so sorry Miss." Patrick said as he pushed her closer to the table.

"Thank you." She said blushing a deep red as she looked away from Patrick's accusing gaze.

He started to hand them their menus.

"We are just here for drinks." Jeffery told him.

"As you wish sir." Patrick replied. "Do you know what you would like?"

Jeffery looked at Barbara and asked, "Is hot chocolate ok with you, or would you like something else?"

"Oh, hot chocolate is great, thank you." She answered.

She couldn't help worrying about Patrick. Would he tell Cody he saw her? How would she explain if he did? Maybe she should make a run for it. She could trip Patrick when he walks by again and leave in the confusion. She was so deep in thought, that she didn't even notice Jeffery talking to her until she saw him waving his hand in front of her face.

"Barbara, are you ok?" He asked her.

"What... oh, yes I'm sorry, I was just thinking about something." She explained looking confused. "What were you saying?" She asked him, vowing to herself to pay more attention to the conversation.

"I was just asking you where you found my Grandfathers phone." He said to her as he was trying unsuccessfully to hold back a huge grin.

She noticed how his green eyes got lighter and twinkled like Christmas lights when he found something funny.

"What? What's so funny?" She asked blushing. She liked the color of his eyes.

"You just look so cute when you're embarrassed." He said smiling.

Patrick then showed up with their drinks. She wondered why he was bringing them to the table instead of the waiter. She already felt like she should crawl under the table every time he walked by.

After Patrick left, Barbara decided to start the conversation.

"Well, I guess I better give you this while I'm thinking about it or you might have to come back after it again." She smiled as she handed him the little silver cell phone. "To answer your question, I found it in the cushion of the sofa in the lobby."

"Ah yes, thanks Granddad, if not or you we would have never met." Jeffery then smiled at Barbara as he took the cell phone, brushing against her fingers, making her blush again.

They talked about all kinds of things while they sipped on their chocolate. The more they talked, the more comfortable Barbara got, the more she realized she was starting to really like Jeffery. She felt that he was starting to like her too. She found out he was a junior in a High School across town, where as she was only a freshman, but that wasn't a big deal, right. They were both in Orchestra where they both played the violin. They both took AP Honors classes. As their date wound down she started wishing for more time.

"Barbara, I had a really great time tonight, I wish we could stay longer. It's already 8 o'clock tho and we both have school tomorrow. But if you would like, I'd really like to see you again." He told her, as he looked deep into her dark ebony eyes.

"I would like that Jeffery." Barbara replied softly hypnotized by his light green ones.

"Great let's swap phone numbers and I will call you later and we can figure out when would be good for both of us." He said as he pulled out his phone and dragged his eyes from hers.

After they swapped numbers and Jeffery paid the bill, he offered to give Barbara a ride home since it was already dark. He wanted to make sure she got home safely. Barbara thought about it and decided she should probably take a taxi home. He told her to wait inside where it was warm while he went and got her taxi. As she sat waiting for him to come and get her, she was sitting on the sofa with her back to the elevators. She was so lost thinking about Jeffery she never even heard the doors ding, or saw the blonde that came out of the elevator in search of chocolate.

As Zack came out of the elevator he saw what he thought looked alot like his brothers girlfriend. As he went to the candy counter for his chocolate bar, he saw a brown-headed guy walk in the front door and head toward the girl. As she stood up and took the guys hand Zack was shocked to see that it truly was Barbara and she was leaving with someone other than Cody. He couldn't believe his eyes; she didn't even have a limp. He was so infuriated that he almost tripped over someone's luggage as he ran after them yelling Barbara's name.

Barbara thought she heard her name, and when she turned around her whole world stopped. Zack was running straight towards her and he looked like he was going to explode.

"Barbara!" Zack yelled. "We really need to talk. In private if you don't mind." He finished in a calmer voice as walked up and gave Jeffery a dirty look.

"Uh… uh, Jeffery I will catch another taxi in a little while I really need to talk to my friend." Barbara explained.

"Zack." Zack said to Jeffery thru gritted teeth.

"Ok, Barbara will you be alright?" Jeffery asked looking hesitantly at Zack. "Zack, my name is Jeff, it's nice to meet you." He added sticking out his hand trying to be sociable.

Zack ignored him.

"I'll be fine, thank you for the hot chocolate." Barbara answered quietly.

"Ok, I will call you later then." He said, still watching Zack suspiciously. He then gave Barbara a little hug and then he was gone.

Barbara turned to Zack and saw he looked incensed. She knew what he was thinking, and she didn't blame him. She would have been thinking the same thing.

"Barbara, come with me please, we need to talk somewhere quieter." Zack said sounding much calmer than he actually was as he took her hand.

"Ok Zack, but you will let me explain won't you?" Barbara asked.

"Oh yes, I think you have a lot of explaining to do." Zack replied.

He looked at her feet as he led her to the elevator.

"Your ankle sure healed fast." He said sarcastically as the door opened and he pressed the button for the pool.

She knew he wouldn't, but looking at his face she couldn't help being afraid he might throw her off the roof or maybe drown her in the pool. When the door opened Zack took Barbara into the pool house.

"I'm so sorry Zack, I didn't mean to lie. I was just so afraid that Cody would be hurt if he knew I was having a drink with another guy." Barbara confessed.

"DUH!! What did you think, he would be happy for you? Why were you out with another guy, and how long has it been going on?" Zack yelled.

"This is the first time, Zack, I swear. I found a little silver cell phone in the lobby sofa Friday night while I was waiting for Cody to make you dinner. It was ringing, I answered, and it was Jeffery. It was his Grandfather's phone and he was looking for him. He asked me if I could hold it for him. He called again on Saturday and offered to buy me a hot chocolate when he picked it up tonight. Cody called me right after that and I freaked. I am so sorry I lied." Barbara explained, her voice cracking, as she covered her face with her hands. She had started crying during her explanation. She was terrified of what Zack might do.

"What made you think Cody wouldn't understand the phone thing? He would have been ok with that, but you lied Barbara, and you snuck around behind his back. If it was me, I would be furious. But Cody… Cody will be so hurt. Barbara you know how sensitive he is." Zack said. He felt no sympathy for her she did this to herself.

"I… I know, that's why I lied in the first place, b-but Zack… I m-might have another problem. I think… I… I might like Jeffery and I… I don't know what to do." Barbara explained cautiously not looking at him.

"What?" Zack yelled jumping up.

Barbara jumped back startled.

"You really need to tell Cody, Barbara. If you don't I will." He growled ominously.

"Ok, ok, I will tell him. I guess maybe we need a break so I can see how I feel." She said sadly.

Zack couldn't take anymore of her explanation; he started shaking his head and left. He turned around before he went out the door.

"You better not break my brothers heart."

Then he was gone.

Barbara sat there for a few more minutes, trying to get herself together before she went downstairs and caught a taxi home. It was nine o'clock by the time she got there. It was to late to call Cody or Jeffery, so she lay down and tried to sleep.

**_**********_**

**_4pm Monday…_**

The next day after school found Barbara and Cody sitting in Liberty Park on a bench under the tree that Zack and Cody saved. Barbara had just explained everything that happened over the weekend. Cody was just sitting there wide-eyed staring at his hands trying to understand. He couldn't believe what she told him. Barb was crying as she hesitated in telling him the next part.

"Cody… Cody, please look at me. I need to tell you something. I am so sorry I lied to you, but… oh Cody this is so hard. I really didn't expect this to happen, but I really think that we need to take a break from each other. I really need to get my head on straight I am so confused. I think I love you; however, I think, no I know, I have some feelings developing for Jeffery too. Oh Cody, I am so sorry; please don't be mad at me, I truly didn't mean for this to happen." She begged as the tears flowed down her cheeks.

Cody sat there trying to figure out what to say, he too had tears coming down his face. He looked at Barbara and knew that she was being sincere, she really didn't mean for this to happen.

"Barbara," he started as he took her hand, "I can't say I understand what happened, but I do believe you didn't mean to hurt me."

"I really didn't Cody, I promise." She cried.

"I know… I will give you your time, I… I just want you to know that I will be here if you decide you want me back. I will also always be here for you even if… if you decide you don't." He said quietly.

They looked each other in the eyes and came to a silent agreement. Barb reached out and gave the youngest twin a soft hesitant hug. Cody relaxed into the hug wishing she would never let go. They separated and Barbara got up to leave.

"Thank you Cody for being such an kind person. You'll never know how much you truly mean to me." She said thru her tears before she turned to go.

Cody just sat there watching her go. He almost didn't notice the hand as it was laid on his shoulder.

"Zack, how long have you been there?" He whispered without looking up.

"I was over by the slide in case you needed me." He answered softly. Then he turned his little brother around, gave him a hug and let him release his emotions into his strong shoulder.

**_**********_**

**_About 5:30 pm…_**

As Barbara walked to the bus stop to go home, and she finally stopped crying, her phone rang.

"Hello?" She said weakly. She was worn out emotionally from talking to Cody.

"Barbara? Are you ok?" Jeffery asked her.

"Hi Jeff, yes I am I'm just really tired." She explained quietly.

"Oh, ok well I was calling to say I had a great time last night. Would you like to go out on a real date with me?" He asked.

"Yes Jeff I would love to go out with you on a real date." She smiled.

"Great, what do you say we go out on Saturday?" He asked her.

"That would be nice." She responded softly.

"Ok, well you sound like you are really worn out, so why don't I call you tomorrow and we can talk about the details." He said.

"Thank you Jeff, I appreciate that. So I look forward to talking to you tomorrow." She said.

"Alright then, bye Barb, I hope you feel better. Get some rest and I will call you tomorrow." Jeffery told her.

**_**********_**

**_Around 4pm Tuesday…_**

The next day Jeff called her back and found her in a much better mood. They talked for a while and decided to go ice-skating. Barbara had tried to think something that didn't remind her of Cody, Jeffery had suggested skating. She and Cody had never done that so it sounded great to her.

**_**********_**

**_6pm Saturday…_**

Jeffery came by and picked up Barbara for their date. They went skating and they decided to leave the ice when it became too cold in favor of filling their stomachs with warm pizza. It was funny how they both liked the same odd toppings; not too many people liked sausage, bacon, olives, and pineapple together. They talked and ate and got to know each other better. After spending more time with Jeff she was convinced that she had done the right thing with Cody, in the end it would have hurt him more if she had strung him along. There was just something that drew her to Jeff, and she couldn't explain it if she tried. He was very addictive and she was definitely hooked.

After Jeff dropped Barb off at home and she was alone again she started feeling guilty for having such a good time when she knew that Cody was still miserable because of her. Her feelings were so mixed up. She knew she was falling hard for Jeffery, but she still cared so much for Cody and knew she hurt him terribly. Seeing him every day at school was still hard, he was so quiet now. Still, she couldn't deny her feelings for Jeffery after they kissed tonight. When he pressed his lips to hers she felt a warmth and heat that Cody was never able to give her and she had loved kissing him. It filled her with a longing that both surprised and amazed her, alot like being wrapped in a warm blanket. She never even knew kissing could feel like that. She was falling in love with Jeff, pure and simple.

**_**********_**

**_Two months later…_**

Barbara was talking on her cell while she walked to the front of the school to wait for her ride to pick her up. She passed by the buses on her way there.

"Hold on Agnes." She said into the phone.

"Bye Cody, Zack, see you tomorrow!" She yelled to the twins as they boarded their bus. They both waved back, Cody smiling. She was so glad they were able to stay friends.

"Ok sorry, yes I would love to go shopping with you tomorrow… oh I have to go, my guy just got here to take me home. I'll see you tomorrow." Barbara said as she hung up her cell.

"Hi Sweetheart, how was your day?" Her boyfriend asked her.

"Better now." She sighed as she crawled in the front seat giving Jeffery a quick kiss before he drove off.

**_The End._**

* * *

**_Notes on the pairing:_**

**Barbara Brownstein** played by **Sophie Oda** first appeared in the season one _SLOZAC_ episode – **_'Rock Star in the House'_** which guest stared Jesse McCartney, where she was competing with Cody in the Science Fair. She was also in **_'Neither a Borrower or a Speller Bee' _**where she was competing against Cody in the spelling bee; **_'Ask Zack'_** where she was the hard hitting reporter on the school paper; **_'Graduation' _**where she and Cody were competing with each other on who was the smartest;**_ 'Club Twin'_** she got addicted to soda and gave Cody their first kiss (I think); and **_'Miniature Golf'_** where she and Cody went out on a double date with Zack and his date; all in season 2. She was in **_'Orchestra' _**where Cody gets jealous of the guest violin player;**_ 'A Tale of Two Houses'_** this is where they play spin the bottle at Kurt's apartment; **_'Romancing the Phone' _**(the episode I based this story on) where Maddie finds a cell phone and the twins try to impress their girlfriends; and**_ 'Benchwarmers'_** where Cody Barbara and others become cheerleaders in season 3. She came back for one_ SLOD_ episode **_'Flowers and Chocolate'_** in season 1 where she told Cody she was dating his friend Bob. After looking her up I found that she was in way more episodes than I thought. :)

**Jeffery** played by** Drew Seeley** was the grandson of David (William Schallert) the owner of the phone Maddie found in the _SLOZAC_ episode - **_'Romancing the Phone_****_'_** season 3. He didn't have a last name so I gave him one.

_**Thanks for reading, hope you liked it. Don't forget to review. :)**_


	23. Silver Turtle IV

**Coveting**

By SilverTurtle

Rating: K

**************

Elegant, dainty feet.

Long, toned, tan legs.

Pert, tight bottom.

Thin, tapered waist.

Flat stomach.

Well defined arms.

Full, round breasts.

Long, luxurious hair.

Stunning smile.

Bright eyes.

Scintillating wit.

Charming personality.

Yes, Madeline Fitzpatrick was the full package. Beautiful, intelligent, and friendly. She was everything a person could ever want in a woman.

And Ilsa Shickelgrubermeiger-Von Helsing der Keppelugerhofer loved her. More than she could bear.

She hated that she would never, ever, get to have Madeline for her own. She would never get to touch that beauty, hold her, or love her with everything she is.

She could only have glimpses of the beauty from afar.

Across the street, Maddie Fitzpatrick was just entering the Tipton Hotel to begin her shift as the candy counter girl, a job she'd kept even into college, oblivious to the burning eyes that watched her from the St. Mark Hotel.

Blitzkreig growled and whined, scratching at the door, begging to be let after the girl.

"No, Blitzkreig. Ve only vatch. Ve cannot touch. She iz too good for us."

Madeline disappeared into the Tipton and Ilsa returned to her work, while Blitzkreig menaced the support staffs' ankles with vicious teeth in a display of worse than usual temper.

**************

**THE END**

* * *

**Notes on the pairing:**

I weep for you if you don't know who **Madeline "Maddie" Fitzpatrick** is. She is the candy counter girl, friend to Zack, Cody, and London for the entire duration of The Suite Life of Zack and Cody. She is played by**_ Ashley Tisdale_**.

**Ilsa Shickelgrubermeiger-Von Helsing der Keppelugerhofer** (try saying that three times fast) is the mean-spirited, German hotel inspector-turned-manager of the rival hotel, the St. Mark Hotel, across the street. She first appeared in the episode Hotel Inspector and is played by _**Caroline Rhea.**_


	24. Tiger002

**What can defeat the power of love?**

By Tiger002

**_**

**A/N:** This story takes place in the same universe as my fic Domino Effect, but those unfamiliar with the story won't be confused here.

**_**

"It's now or never,

Come hold me tight

Kiss me my darling,

Be mine tonight

Tomorrow will be too late,

It's now or never My love wont wait"

Now or Never, Elvis Presley

**_**

**February 8th 2010, 4:52pm**

"You need to get out of those clothes," Timothy said calmly.

"Excuse me!" Katrina replied angrily.

"That didn't come out right," Tim replied noting too late, how his comment could come out wrong. "I mean, it won't do you any good to walk around the castle in soaked clothes, especially when our maids can quickly provide you dry ones.

"Thank you for being so kind, first brining me out of the rain and now this," she said, "I really wish I could pay you back."

"It isn't a problem; I couldn't just abandon someone walking down the street."

"You really are an incredible person," she said, hoping that the tears would merely blend in with the rain that had soaked her.

"I'll be glad to take you back to wherever you are staying," he said leading her further into the vast building.

"Thank you, but I don't really have any place to go," she said through a fake laugh.

"Aren't you on vacation here?" he asked, shocked that she'd just be wondering around the city.

"Honestly, I'm not sure," she said letting out a sigh and leaning against the wall. "Anyway, you've done enough with giving me a place out of the rain; you don't want to hear about my life."

"As you wish, just please tell me your name."

"Oh, sorry, I'm Katrina."

"If you need anything, feel free to ask. My name is Prince Timothy but I prefer to just go by Tim," he said leaving her outside a guest room before disappearing down the endless hallway.

**_**

The rain continued to rhythmically pound against the window as Katrina sat on the bed in one of the many guest rooms. She looked through the glass, noticing the storm had darkened what would normally have been a beautiful evening. "A storm ruining something beautiful", she said through a small laugh, "I guess it's fitting for my life." She lay back, noticing the softness of the white silk dress against her body.

She seemed so out of place when there was such luxury around while she was nothing more than a commoner. Even though it was impossible, she wanted to do something to pay the kind prince back for all he had done. It just didn't seem right for her to take the prince's generosity.

A knock at the door awoke her from her thoughts and she got up and answered it. She smiled when she saw him standing there to greet her.

"Dinner is being served in the main dining hall in fifteen minuets. Would you care to join me?" he asked, holding out his hand graciously.

"Sure," she responded, taking his hand as they walked down the hall. Karina couldn't deny her hunger, but through the chaos of the past few days, it had escaped her mind.

"I'm surprised that you didn't just have one of your servants come get me," Karina said.

"Why is that?"

"Most people of your status wouldn't worry about a commoner like me," she said through a sigh, thinking about her two-day marriage.

"Sadly it seems that many of my status forget that they are to serve the people. We are given a responsibility to be good leaders. Fate has granted us this privilege, but that comes with a duty as well. It sounds like you have experienced those who forget that."

"Yea, I have," Karina said looking down, not wanting to remember one of the worst mistakes she had made. "I thought he was my prince charming when he purposed to me. I should have known not to just say yes blindly."

"You didn't really know him?" Tim asked as they continued down the long hallway.

"I hadn't even met him," she said shaking her head, "Well at least the wedding and the first couple days of the honey moon were good."

"What happened?" the prince asked, hating how someone could take advantage of someone's dreams like that.

"Well, have you heard of Wilfred Tipton?

"Yea, he had discussed opening a hotel here."

"Well, he proposed to me out of the blue. I said yes, and within a month, we were married. Our honeymoon was here and he had treated me to a luxurious spa treatment. When I went back to our room, I couldn't believe what I saw. He was on our bed, making love to our maid."

Tim couldn't believe what he had heard. "He'd cheat on you while you were on your honeymoon?"

"I couldn't believe it either," Karina said softly, "I chased the maid away after hitting her in the head with a lamp. I then proceeded to kick Wilfred a few times below the belt. After that all I could do was ran from the hotel, not knowing what I'd do next."

"So what happened?"

"Nothing really. I needed some time to vent, to decide what I should do next. He called me several times, but I ignored him each time. Through some text messages he apologized, and promised me a million dollars if I'd be quiet about what happened. I couldn't believe that he'd think money could solve something like that."

"Money is no substitute for true love," the prince agreed shaking his head.

"Anyway, that was when I met you," she explained, "We were married four days ago."

Tim was taken back by this revelation. That explained why she didn't seem to care that she was out in the rain and so indifferent about being brought to the castle. "Well, you are welcome to stay here until you decide where to go from here."

"Thank you," she said as they entered the grand dining hall.

**_**

Karina could only compare the lavish dinner served as a meal fit for a king. She had never seen such find china or so many different forks and spoons for one meal. The entire meal was a thing of pure luxury. Each dish was delicious, from the exquisite caviar to start the meal, to the scrumptious lobster dinner, and even the German chocolate cake for dessert. The only thing that didn't thrill her taste buds was the water brought between courses to wash hands, which the prince gently told her was not for drinking.

Even while she sat next to him and had a million things she wanted to know, she was quiet through most of the meal. Most of the other nobles were discussing political matters, which only bored her.

**_**

After Tim had given his guest a full tour of the castle, from the royal seal at the bottom, to the many luxurious rooms that the royal family lived in.

"This place is truly amazing, and I still can't get over that meal" Karina said as the prince led her back to his room.

"I'm glad you enjoyed dinner," the prince replied sweetly.

"Enjoyed," she scoffed, "I'm so full I don't think I could eat another bite."

"I think so often we forget that the foods we have are truly a luxury and just take them for granted."

"Really?"

"Yea, last night my little brother refused to eat his filet-minion because we were missing the savory we normally put on it."

"That's just ridicules," Karina said, aghast that someone could be so fussy.

"That's what father tried telling him, but he just walked away from his food."

"Maybe going to bed hungry will teach him," she said, glad that he wasn't able to just get his way.

"I doubt that," Tim said shrugging his shoulders, "he probably just had one of the maids bring him ice-cream for desert."

They had reached Tim's room without even realizing it. As the prince approached his door, an older man came out to greet him. "Ah, good to see you my prince."

"Can I help you with anything Sebastian?"

"Not at all sir," he formally replied, "I was just insuring your room was in perfect order for you tonight."

"Ah thank you."

Tim lead Karina into his lavish room, which made the guest room look like a small closet. "Wow," was the only word to escape her mouth.

"You like it?"

"Yea, this room is bigger than my old apartment."

"Have a seat," Tim said welcoming her to sit on his bed.

They talked for hours that night, from simple things such as their favorite flavors of ice-cream and favorite breeds of dogs, from more serious things such as their lives goals. They came from two different worlds, but that didn't matter. Soon Karina forgot she was talking to a prince, but acted as if he was an old friend. Tim slowly let go of the complicated etiquette he was supposed to follow with a fine woman, and let him truly act like himself. It was a simple night, but one of the best either of them had experienced in a long time.

"Wow, it's so soft," she said noticing the 600 thread count sheets that they sat upon.

He lay down, against them, looking at the ceiling and feeling their elegant texture against his hands. "Yea, it is. Sometimes I think that this is just too much though. "

"What do you mean?"

"I've lived in luxury all my life. There are sometimes, where I just want to see what it's like to have a normal life though."

"For so long I always wondered what it would be like to me rich, and I thought getting married to Wilfred would be a dream come true, but it wasn't."

"You know, not all guys like that are bad." Tim wasn't sure of what he was saying. True, he admired her beauty and gentle nature, but did he really like her like that? There was something about her that seemed right, unlike all those dignities kids he had gone out with to score points for the king. He actually felt something for Karina.

"I know," she said with a smile. She lay down beside him and planted a gentle kiss on his cheek. She knew his love wasn't fake, unlike those who only said or did thing to get something from her. He wasn't after her as another prize to add to his collection of ex-wives.

He turned to face her, now noticing the twinkle in her eyes. Nervously he moves his lips toward hers, hoping she'd do the same.

Their lips met, at first it was just a gentle kiss. They pulled away, silently evaluating what they should do from there.

She began to wrap her arms around him, and he did the same. One look into her eyes caused his desires awake, and he knew what he had to do.

"I'm sorry," he said pulling away, "I can see that you've been hurt so much, I don't want to rush into something."

"You're different though; your love isn't fake. You truly are my prince charming."

"Your true prince shouldn't succumb to his lustful desires. You're beauty is unmatched, but I can wait."

"I don't deserve you," she said as she began crying.

"It is I who is the lucky one, but it's getting late," he said noticing how the hours had flown through the night with her.

"I'm sorry for keeping you up so late," she apologized.

"Don't worry about it. I enjoyed our time together; now if you will, allow me to escort you to your room."

"Could I stay here for the night? In such a big castle I'm sure it would be easy to get lost without you by my side."

"Of course my dear."

Tim covered the coach with the best bedding he could find in his room while she was changing clothes in the bathroom. One of the maids had brought her a beautiful green silk nightgown. As she emerged, he could only stare in awe. "Wow, you look beautiful in that."

"Thanks," she replied nervously.

"I hope this will be sufficient for you," he said gesturing to the couch.

"Of course."

"In that case, I bid you good night," he said planting a kiss on her forehead before heading to his own bed.

**_**

It was three in the morning and nearly all the residents of the castle were fast asleep. The only ones still awake were the castle guards complaining about another boring night. A terrible roar in the distance awoke them from their drowsiness. "Notify the rest of guards," one said upon hearing the noise.

"You really think that's necessary."

"I don't know, but I have a bad feeling about this."

**_**

Sebastian burst into the prince's room in a state of panic. "My lord, you must flee!"

"Huh, what's going on?" he said trying to reorient himself since he just woke up."

"The castle is under attack," Sebastian reported somberly.

"What do you mean the castle's under attack?" Timothy asked leaping out of bed.

"Sir, I don't know how to explain it, but horrible monsters have come out of no where and are trying to force their way into the castle," Sebastian replied.

"Is there anyway to stop them?" the prince asked, knowing that he'd for forced to flee with a situation this dangerous.

"The castle guards are horribly outnumbered, it doesn't look like the creatures can be stopped," the butler responded.

"I see," Tim said through a sigh, "Karina, we have to get out of here."

"Okay," she said sensing the pain in his voice. It wasn't like him to just run when those he cared about were in danger. He was the prince though, and it wasn't the prince's place to fall in an invasion.

"We have the emergency helicopter ready for you my lord. The pilot will take you to a safety in Australia until you can return," Sebastian instructed as the two of them took off for the top of the castle.

"I hope Jeffy is okay," the prince said softly as they ran up the many stairs, cursing whoever did not think of adding elevators to such a huge place.

"You're little brother?" Karina asked.

"Yeah," he said softly.

"I'm sure he was told to get out of here too," Katrina said as she put her hand on his shoulder.

"You're right; they wouldn't just leave him behind."

As they traveled, they heard the roar of guns even through the many stone walls. The monsters' growls and screams filled the two with dread, not knowing if they could even escape. Tim wondered if what he was doing was right. Maybe instead he should stay behind and fight. He kept going through, knowing that the professionally trained soldiers were willing to lay their life down for the royal family, and he had to keep Karina safe.

A bright orange light came through the window, illuminating the horrors of the night. They couldn't believe the horrifying images of the monsters that littered the streets below. "What are they?" Karina asked in little more than a whisper.

"They have gone by many names through our world's history," another man said as he seemingly appeared out of the shadows. "Monsters, demons, thinks that go bump in the night, few know their exact name." As the mysterious figured stepped into the light, fear filled the couple. The stranger's pitch-black hair flowed down his shoulders while his bangs stopped just short of his eyes. His piercing blue eyes were a contrast to the rest of his body, which was clothed in a dark robe, along with a sword held at his side.

"Who are you?" Karina asked as she nervously backed up behind Timothy.

"And where did you come from?" the prince replied assertively, knowing it wasn't a prince's place to cower in fear.

"My name is Sharale. Those lucky enough to live after meeting me also call me the Shadow Knight."

"Are you connected to this attack?" Timothy asked as he gazed around looking for a weapon he could use to repel the invader.

"Yes, in fact I'm their leader." The lights in the hallway went out. Only light from the moon and starts illuminated them.

"What do you want?" the prince demanded. He knew many of his trusted guards had already given up their lives, and he had to know why.

"The crest on your tunic indicates that you are a member of the royal family, perhaps a prince."

"Yeah, what about it?" The prince's eyes locked upon a suit of armor used as a decoration. The sword it held may not have been intended as a weapon, but he would make this invader pay.

"Then you should know where the royal seal is?"

"Why would you want to know?" Tim replied firmly. Karina remembered seeing it while Tim gave her a tour of the castle. Perhaps there was something she could do to help.

She ran from the other two, who both gave her a look of confusion.

"Stop!" Sharale demanded as he drew his sword.

"I won't let you hurt her," Tim said removing the blade from the hilt of the decoration. He stood in the hallway, blocking Sharale's path. The prince was glad that steel still seemed to be sharp enough to slice through his enemy. "Now die!" the price cried as he ran at the stranger.

For a second Tim thought that he might actually slay the one responsible for all this pain and suffering, but his enemy's blade blocked the attack. "Your attacks are slow," the stranger said as he pulled his blade back before swinging it at the prince. Tim was able to deflect the blow but the impact was so great that it threw him back into the nearest wall. "I must admire your courage young prince. Most would flee in terror after seeing me."

Tim tried getting up, but fear paralyzed his body. His heart felt like it was going to burst from his chest and his body was shaking so hard that his legs couldn't hold his weight.

"Scatter into darkness," Sharale said waving his hand over his blade. The metal disappeared, as if all he was holding was the sheaf.

Tim gazed around, trying to figure out a way to avoid the attack he knew was coming. He didn't know where or how, but he was certain it would be his end unless he could defend himself. The only coherent thought in his mind told him to run, so he commanded his legs to propel him away from this stranger. "I'm afraid it's too late to run."

Tim felt every square inch of his skin pierced by shards of metal.

The prince fell.

Sharale stood over the bloodied remains of his victim, content with his work. "That was fun and all, but didn't get me much closer to what I wanted."

**_**

Karina kept running through the passages of the vast building. She hoped to see Tim following behind her, but she had a feeling he wouldn't be making it. Her plan was for Sharale to go after her and give Tim the opportunity to escape, perhaps letting him get out alive. Now she didn't know why she was running, but only that her body was continuing on.

She recalled the seal that Sharale was apparently after; maybe if she could get there first it would save everyone. It didn't make much sense, but nothing about the invasion did either.

The basement of the castle had remained unharmed, at least thus far. Just as Karina remembered from earlier that day, the royal seal hung on the wall. She walked over to it, wondering what could be so important. A green orb in the middle of it caught her attention. It looked like an opal, but much larger than anything she had seen. This one was nearly the size of a ping-pong ball. She touched it, and felt a powerful force within. Perhaps this is what they were after.

She tried pulling it out, not knowing she was no longer alone. The monster slowly approached her, knowing that it had finally found its target.

The growl from the beast startled her, causing her to turn, yanking the orb out of the wall and dropping it to the floor. She stared at the beast who simply gazed at the green object, trying to decide what its next move would be. The monster reminded her of a wolf, except with pitch-black fur and bigger. Its head came up to her chest.

Katrina knew she couldn't let the monsters get the orb, so she ran at it, causing the wolf to leap at her. She fell to the ground as she rolled out of the way of the fiend's claws. She grabbed the orb, felt its great power, and pointed it at the monster. The wolf jumped at her once again, but she stood her ground and sent a powerful blast of wind from the orb, sending the creature soaring through the air and through the nearest wall.

"What is this?" she asked, amazed at the power she just unleashed.

"That my dear, is the one of the orbs of the elements," a familiar voice said, as its owner once again emerged from the shadows, "The orb of wind to be more precise."

"Yea, you seem to know enough about it to know to stay away," she said pointing the orb at him.

"You're right; I have a healthy fear for the power it possesses. That's why I'm going to kill you fast." He drew his blade once again and charged at Karina.

She wasn't sure quite how she did it before, but she pointed the orb at him and willed the air to move forward to strike him. It did, but he easily sidestepped the wind and continued after her. "Scatter into darkness," he once again commanded his blade and it vanished from sight.

"Where did your sword go?" she asked as fear began building within her once again. It was clear to her that this stranger had much more power than he let had let on.

"Don't worry, it's coming," he said with a sadistic smile.

A flash of light came causing her to call upon the wind once more. She harnessed the power of the orb to create a shield of wind around her. Small shards of light filled the air circling her.

"Not bad," Sharale commented before the shards returned to him, and reformed into his sword. "I might actually break a sweat killing you."

Karina gazed around trying to see how he would make his next move. She kept the wind going around her, ready to deflect whatever attack he tried. However, he had seen the mistakes of the first two attacks. They were too direct, too predictable, even to beat someone this weak. He'd have to have more fun with his attack.

As she watched, waiting for him to make a move, all the light in the room began fading. Soon, everything was pitch black. She was alone, no sights, and no sound other than the wind around her. Her heart began throbbing, but she stood her ground, knowing that this was only a trick to cause her to fear. The shield around her would keep her safe.

"Good bye," he whispered into her ear before swiping his blade across her neck.

The wind settled as the corpse fell to the ground. Sharale reached down and picked the orb, and looked down at the 15th body he had slain that night. "One does not face a dark elemental and live," he stated before once again disappearing into the shadows.

**The end…**

**

* * *

  
**

**Notes on the pairing:**

_**Prince Timmy**_ was the older brother of Prince Jeffy from_** "Maddie on Deck"**_

_**Karina**_ was the magician's assistant who was set to become the next Mrs. Tipton in the _**"Ala-ka-scram"**_ episode

**A/N:** Not really what you were expecting from a romance story was it? As I said before, this takes place in the same universe as my fic, Domino Effect, and takes place the same time as chapter 7 there. You'll see more of Sharale there, especially when he runs into the twins.


	25. Hurricane 13 V

**Security!**

by The Hurricane 13

*****************

On her way home after visiting Zack and Cody one evening, Agnes stopped by the candy counter to pick up a snack for the road. While Millicent was getting her order together, Agnes spotted someone across the lobby talking to Mr. Moseby and was awestruck.

"Oh, wow! Who's that?" She asked pointing in the hunks direction.

"Oh him? That's Skippy, the night manager," Millicent replied in her usual nervous tone.

"Agnes like! Is he single?"

"Well... I don't know, but... don't you think he's a little old for you?"

"Age is just a number," Agnes replied. "Haven't you ever had a crush on an older man?"

"Well..." Millicent giggled.  "You have! Who is it?"

"No... I better not say," Millicent said blushing.

"Oh, come on," Agnes pried, "Tell me."

"Okay... but... promise not to tell anyone. I have trust issues and I'm very insecure and..."

"I promise!" Agnes interrupted.

"Okay... well... I've always thought Mr. Moseby was kinda hot," Millicent said shyly, "But don't tell anyone! You promised!"

"Have you ever asked him out?"

"What? No! That's crazy! He'd never go for me."

"How do you know? Besides, my philosiphy has always been that if you want someone, you have to TAKE them! Even if by force!" Agnes said with an evil grin.

"Well then why don't you go over and TAKE Skippy if your so confident?" Millicent asked.

"I will! But you have to go ask Moseby."

"Oh... I...I...I don't think so."

"Are you scared?" Agnes teased.

"Yes." Millicent said without a second thought.

"Tell you what, I'll go ask Skippy if you'll talk to Moseby."

"Oh..." Millicent tried to object, but Agnes grabbed her arm and practically dragged her across the lobby to where Moseby and Skippy were standing.

"Mr. Moseby, Millicent has a question for you." Agnes said, tapping on the hotel manager's shoulder.

"What is it, Millicent? I'm trying to change shifts so I can go home!" Moseby said annoyed.

"Well... I uh... I was wondering..." Millicent started. "Oh... never mind..."

Agnes kicked her in the shin.

"Would you like to go out with me sometime?" Millicent blurted out.

"What? Don't be silly!" Moseby said, "What's gotten into you?"

"Nothing..." Millicent said dejected. "Sorry."

She gave Agnes a look that said "I told you so" and slinked back over to her post at the candy counter.

"What about you stud?" Agnes said addressing Skippy. "How would you like to take this hot young philly for a ride?"

"Oh, I haven't been on a horse since I moved to the big city. I'm not sure how well I'd do," Skippy replied with his southern draw, oblivious to what Agnes was getting at.

"Don't worry, big man, I'll teach you," Agnes said.

Then she grabbed Skippy by the arm and began to drag him away. He struggled, but the girl was surprisingly strong and eventually wrestled him to the floor and began trying to kiss him.

"Mister Moseby! Help!"

"Security!" Moseby yelled.

Finally, a team of 5 security guards were able to wrestle Agnes away from Skippy and eject her from the building.

**The End.**

* * *

**Notes on the pairings:**

**_Mr. Moseby_** is a mainstay of both the _SLOZAC _and_ SLOD._

**_Millicent_** is a candy counter girl who appeared a few times on the_ SLOZAC._

**_Skippy_**, the hotel's night manager, had a couple of appearances on the _SLOZAC._

And **_Agnes_**, a memorable classmate of Zack and Cody, also made several appearances on the _SLOZAC._


	26. James Doyle IV

**Cruisin' for Love in All the Wrong Places**

By

James Doyle

Raven Baxter and her two best friends Eddie Thomas and Chelsea Daniels all had different career aspirations, and thus attended different schools. After many failed attempts to plan a Spring Break get-together, they finally succeeded in synchronizing their schedules. Unfortunately, none of them had an abundance of cash, so the next obstacle turned out to be figuring out what to do together. Eddie, so it would seem, rose to the challenge.

"A two-week cruise aboard the S.S. Tipton?" echoed Raven, talking to Eddie on the phone as she packed her bags.

"You got it, girl," confirmed Eddie.

"That sounds tight," squeaked Raven, her pitch hitting the ceiling as it always did when she got excited. Immediately thereafter, her tone became more somber. "Eddie, are you sure we can afford this?"

"Absolutely!" assured Eddie. "They had a bunch of cabins they needed to fill at the last minute. I got us a sweet deal. We'll have the sea breeze, tons to do, all the grub we can eat, and of course, hotties in bathing suits."

"And you're sure there's nothing wrong with the room?" Raven asked suspiciously.

"Trust me, Rae," continued Eddie. "The room is pimpin'. I could only get us one, but there's two beds."

"Not a problem," assured Raven. She and Chelsea had no qualms about sharing a bed.

"Then it's settled," concluded Eddie. "We'll spend the night at Chelsea's crib, then we'll set sail."

"Oh, Eddie!" cried Raven. "This is gonna be so awesome!"

"You know it," agreed Eddie.

Meanwhile, Marion Moseby, Cruise Director of the S.S. Tipton, paced about the main lobby, pondering the memo that London Tipton had hand-delivered from her father.

"This is unbelievable!" bemoaned Moseby.

"I was there when he dictated it," stated London. "It's all part of Tipton's new corporate image."

"I can understand that," argued Moseby. "But with all due respect to your father, his timing couldn't have been worse. Not only do I have to completely rearrange our program schedule at the last minute, Miss Tutweiler and I are having to answer dozens of strongly-worded e-mails from parents of Seven Seas High students. Unless I want to be held personally responsible for all of these parents removing their children from the program and demanding a refund on their tuition, I need to assure them that their children won't be corrupted."

London gasped. "You ought to be ashamed of yourself. You know that's not true."

"For what it's worth, I agree with you," granted Moseby. "But the fact of the matter is, these parents are our customers, and even if they're not as progressive as we'd like them to be, we have to be sensitive to their concerns."

"Here, let me try," offered London. Desperate to try anything at this point, Moseby moved aside and let London have at his laptop. A few minutes later, he looked over London's composition. After correcting numerous glaring spelling and grammatical errors, Moseby found himself quite impressed.

"I never thought I'd say this, London," commended Moseby. "But you have a flair for public relations."

"Yay me!" exclaimed London, jumping and clapping her hands.

The next day, the three friends waited at the pier in San Francisco as the gangplank of the S.S. Tipton extended and began allowing people to board.

"I cannot believe I let you talk me into this, Eddie," regretted the tall, redheaded Chelsea Daniels with a roll of her eyes.

"Ah, come on, Chels," encouraged Raven. "It'll be fun."

"Cruise ships produce seventy percent of all marine pollution," pontificated Chelsea.

'Oh snap!' thought Raven with a sigh and a roll of her eyes. Here we go again.

"Seventy percent, Rae!" continued Chelsea. "Plus, Tipton Industries has the third-worst environmental and human rights record of any Fortune 500 company."

"You know," noted Eddie, thinking of something that might prevent Chelsea from ruining his vacation. "London Tipton attends the Seven Seas High program on this boat. Maybe you can talk to her about it."

Chelsea scowled and nodded. "Oh, believe me, I am gonna give her a piece of my mind."

Just before the gang plank retracted, the tall, stocky Becky boarded the ship in a huff, followed very closely by Woody, her pudgy, greasy, scatterbrained on-again, off-again boyfriend,

"Becky, wait!" called Woody. Becky turned around and shoved Woody up against a bulkhead.

"Do you know what keelhauling is?" asked Becky.

"Um...no," whimpered Woody.

"If you ever speak to me again, you'll experience it first-hand," threatened Becky. "Get it?"

Woody gulped. "Got it."

"Good," said Becky as she let him go. "Disappear!"

Woody nodded and ran off via the clearest path he could find. Becky returned to her cabin to change clothes, and then headed down to the fitness center. Bailey Pickett had just finished her run on the treadmill when she found Becky pummeling the punching bag at a rate that would give a hummingbird's wings a run for their money. Finally, the bag surrendered, and sailed across the room.

"Becky, what's wrong?" asked Bailey.

"Nothing," denied Becky. "Go away! Leave me alone!"

"If you don't talk about this, you're going to start doing that to people's heads," insisted Bailey.

"Fine," conceded Becky. "Woody's an ass."

"What'd he do?" asked Bailey as she led Becky over to a weight bench.

"Well, he took me to this club," continued Becky. It sounded innocent enough, but knowing Woody, Bailey reckoned the story was about to go south in short order. "Seeing as San Fran has some of the hottest clubs in the world, it sounded like a really fun date.

"Only it turns out, it was a lesbian club. When I asked him why in the Sam Frak he'd take me to such a place, he said London had told him there were a lot of girls there like me."

Bailey nodded. "I'll admit, it was pretty irresponsible for Woody to take London's word without researching the place for himself. But I'm sure he didn't mean to offend you."

Becky sighed. "Yeah, you're right. It's just..."

"It's not the first time someone's told you something like that," supplied Bailey.

Becky frowned and nodded. "Everybody assumes that because I'm big and tough, I must be a butch-dyke."

"You really shouldn't use that word," admonished Bailey, earning a death-glare from Becky.

"Besides," continued Bailey, eager to get off that subject. "You and I both know you're not butch. In fact, I've never seen a girl pretty-up like you can."

Becky nodded. "I guess I should apologize to Woody for threatening to keelhaul him."

Bailey laughed. "Don't worry about that. He knows you meant nothing by it."

After settling into their cabin, Eddie and Raven left Chelsea to her hunt for London Tipton, and headed up to the Sky Deck for a hunt of their own. As they suspected, the deck was packed with attractive men and women, and both of them seemed to be getting plenty of attention. However, it took them awhile to realize it wasn't the sort of attention they were looking for.

"Well, hello there," greeted a lean, muscular young man of about five-foot-nine with messy light-brown hair and a goatee. "I'm Dennis."

"Eddie," replied Eddie, detecting a certain vibe being transmitted through Dennis' handshake. Being born and raised in San Francisco, Eddie knew immediately what sort of vibe it was. He looked over at Raven, who was trying her level best to lose the admiration of a thin, mousy librarian-type girl. Their suspicions about why the cruise had been such a bargain were confirmed when Moseby got on the horn.

"Ladies and gentlemen," began Moseby. "Welcome, one and all, to the first ever S.S. Tipton Gay and Lesbian Singles Cruise. I'm Marion Moseby, your Cruise Director, and I'm proud to be to be on the cutting edge of Tipton Industries' new initiative to market a variety of products and services tailored especially to this emerging market segment. So please, enjoy our hospitality, and take full advantage of the many activities and services aboard the Tipton, and the opportunity to meet new people."

"Gay and Lesbian cruise," grumbled Raven, giving Eddie a death glare.

Eddie cowered. "That would explain why they discounted the extra rooms."

"Ya think?" retorted Raven.

Meanwhile, Zack sat in his cabin with Woody and Marcus, playing video games to pass the time.

"Come on, Zack!" prodded Woody. "Give me some competition here!"

"What's the point?" lamented Zack. "We're stuck in our cabins for the next week because Moseby couldn't figure out what else to do with us."

"Look on the bright side," noted Woody. "At least we get extended co-ed visitation."

Marcus snorted. "That's only a good thing if you actually have a girl," said Marcus, jealous of Cody and Bailey, who were making out across the hall.

"Guys," interjected Zack. "Could you at least try not to make me think about all the gorgeous ladies roaming the decks that I'm not allowed anywhere near?"

"Gorgeous ladies?" echoed Marcus. "Man, what part of 'gay and lesbian' don't you grok?"

"Hey, I don't judge!" argued Zack. "Besides, they might just change their mind when they see this fine male specimen."

Marcus smacked Zack on the back of the head.

"Ouch!" protested Zack.

"You're obviously not getting this, so I'll try and spell it out for you," explained Marcus. "You'd never think about hooking up with a dude, right?"

"Eww, no!" shuddered Zack.

"Well, the women out there find the thought of hooking up with the likes of us equally repulsive," continued Marcus. "They're just not into guys."

Zack sighed, and picked up the game controller. "All right," he conceded. "Let's do this thing."

Her roommate having left the program earlier in the semester due to having contracted mono, Becky found the silence and the solitude of her cabin intolerable. Furthermore, she still couldn't shake the idea that people thought she was gay. The fact that the ship was crawling with lesbians didn't help. She decided working out was the only reliable way to clear her head, and she headed for the fitness center.

Becky lay upon the bench, and bench-pressed several sets with the barbell. When she finished, she noticed an unfamiliar black woman walking on the treadmill.

"Excuse me," called Becky. "This is the student fitness center."

Becky startled Raven, and she gripped the handles just before the treadmill threw her off.

"I know, I'm not supposed to be here," explained Raven. "I've just had women staring at me all day, and I didn't want to work out in the passenger gym."

"Fine," agreed Becky, who definitely sympathized. Becky took a moment to size up her impromptu workout companion, and in so doing, noted the settings on Raven's treadmill.

"You're not getting any cardio benefit with those settings," noted Becky.

"Really?" asked Raven.

"Yeah," continued Becky as she tapped a few commands. "A nice interval workout would probably be good for someone of your fitness level."

"Thanks," said Raven, not quite sure how the strange girl meant "your fitness level." "I'm Raven, by the way."

Becky shook her hand. "Becky."

After a few minutes, Becky could see Raven struggling a bit with her new workout. She went over and got her gym bag, placing her spare water bottle on the console in front of Raven.

"You need to stay hydrated," admonished Becky. It wasn't her cardio day, but not wanting to see Raven injure herself, Becky started running on the treadmill next to hers, glancing over occasionally to make sure Raven was alright.

As she did so, Becky couldn't help but notice Raven's lips as she breathed heavily through her mouth. Neither could she ignore the bouncing of Raven's generous, round breasts. The girl had obviously never heard of a sports bra, and the tank top she wore did more to accentuate her assets than contain or hide them. Nor did the girl's curly black hair, pulled back into a ponytail escape her attention, or her perfect brown skin, which induced visions of Swiss chocolate. When she observed Raven's buttocks, as impressive as her rack, Becky came to a shocking realization.

'Oh my gosh!' thought Becky. 'I'm totally checking out this girl. And she is seriously hot!'

Meanwhile, London arrived in the VIP dining room, where Chelsea awaited her.

"You're late," rebuked Chelsea.

"Hey, you're lucky I have nothing better to do," retorted London.

"I see this is going to go really well," snarked Chelsea through gritted teeth. Determined as ever, she presented London with a number of different items she'd printed up in the ship's business center. Much to her surprise, London addressed each item in turn.

"Okay, so we have the long-term reforestation project on Parrot Island," noted London. "What's next?"

Chelsea handed her another paper. London brought up some figures on her laptop and showed them to Chelsea.

"So in the past year alone, the S.S. Tipton has gone from having the worst environmental record in the American fleet to the third-best," noted Chelsea.

London smiled. "You've got it."

"London, this is amazing," marveled Chelsea. "I've got to tell Raven about this."

London shot Chelsea a death glare. "You breathe a word of this to anyone, and I'll have to thrown overboard!"

"Okay, okay!" conceded Chelsea. "Well, now that I've done what I set out to do, I have to figure out something to do for the rest of this cruise."

"Why don't we take a walk," suggested London. "The Lido Deck's usually pretty quiet this time of night."

Back in the gym, Becky had totally gotten Raven into her workout, and before long, she had Raven on the mats, showing off her wrestling moves.

"Ah, gotcha!" boasted Raven, having executed a successful take-down. As Becky started to get up, Raven dove down to try and pin her, only to have Becky take her by the arms and use her foot to toss Raven over her head and flat onto the mat. Before she knew it, Becky had her pinned.

Becky laughed. "Yeah, I can see why you couldn't pass for a Russian gymnast."

"Yeah, I'm not very athletic," agreed Raven.

Becky was just about to get up when she took note of the darker woman's breasts pressed up against hers. They felt as good as they looked. The two girls stared into one another's eyes, not quite sure what to make of the situation. Eventually, the feeling of Raven's sweet, hot breath on her lips proved too much. She took the ebony girl by the sides of her head, closed her eyes, and pressed their lips together.

Raven put up a brief, half-hearted struggle before giving in, plowing her way into the younger girl's mouth with her tongue. They nestled their hands in one another's hair, and their tongues engaged in a reenactment of the battle they'd just waged on the mats. Becky let her guard down for just a moment, allowing Raven to roll over on top of her. For once, Becky didn't mind being dominated, and moaned softly into the older girl's mouth as said girl tried to suck the air out of her lungs.

Down on the Lido Deck, London and Chelsea lay in a pair of lounge chairs, looking up at the sky.

"Oh my gosh!" exclaimed Chelsea. "I've never seen so many stars."

"It's pretty incredible, isn't it?" agreed London.

"I just don't get you," puzzled Chelsea.

"How do you mean?" asked London.

"You obviously care about a lot of things," explained Chelsea, "And yet, you let everybody think you're a superficial, self-centered idiot."

"Of course," said London.

"Why?" asked Chelsea.

"Corporate responsibility's a new idea for my father," elaborated London. "If everybody knew I actually gave a crap, and I actually had some influence over him, I'd be sifting through e-mails from everyone from the Homeless Orphans of Bahavia Foundation to the Save the Canadian Dung Beetle Fund. This way, I can do what little I can without having to get stressed about it."

"London Tipton, I was wrong about you," declared Chelsea, taking the heiress' hand. "You are really amazing."

"Thanks," said London, as surprised to accept Chelsea's touch as Chelsea had been to offer it. "You're pretty awesome yourself."

"Really?" asked Chelsea.

"Yeah," affirmed London. "Not many people care enough to actually chase me down."

The two girls turned on their sides and looked at one another for a minute.

"What?" asked London, as if she didn't know what was going on.

"This is weird," noted Chelsea, taking stock of the slender raven-tressed Asian beside her. "I never realized how incredibly beautiful you are."

"So are you," reciprocated London, herself taking note of the tall, shapely redhead beside her.

They began to lean closer together, only to have their deck chairs dump them out. The two girls laughed as they lay on the deck between the two chairs, then closed their eyes and proceeded, as they had begun, to attack one another's mouths.

Raven and Becky continued their assault on one another's lips, throwing each other up against the bulkhead repeatedly as they made their way up from the gym.

"I've got a cabin all to myself," panted Becky as she came up for air.

"Sounds good to me," approved Raven as she shoved Becky through her cabin door, kicking it shut behind her.

The next day in class, Bailey watched London enter the classroom, with Becky close behind her, both with a dreamy, starry-eyed look in their eyes.

"Look at you," said Bailey with a smile as Becky took a seat beside her. "You're glowing!"

"I know," cooed Becky.

"Did something happen between you and Woody?" Bailey ventured to guess.

Becky sighed blissfully. "Not exactly."

A week later, the boat returned to San Francisco, and the three best friends prepared to disembark.

"Eddie, this cruise was your best idea ever," beamed Raven.

"Yeah, I'm sorry I ever doubted you," concurred Chelsea.

"I'm glad y'all had fun," said Eddie. "All I did was play Wii with some high school kids."

Before either could respond, London came running up to Chelsea.

"Oh, hey London!" greeted Chelsea.

"I'm glad I caught you," said London. "I was afraid I wouldn't have a chance to give you this."

London presented Chelsea with a small jewelry box, which she opened to find a beautiful diamond pendant.

"London, I'm not sure I can accept this," said Chelsea.

"Of course you can," argued London. "The diamond came from a Tipton mine, now staffed exclusively with union labor."

"It's perfect," said Chelsea as she allowed the heiress to put it on her.

"Call me," said London as she took Chelsea's hands in hers.

"Of course," agreed Chelsea. The Asian and the redhead leaned in for a chaste, yet unmistakably-romantic kiss.

Before Eddie could react to what he'd just seen, Becky tapped Raven on the shoulder.

"Raven," greeted Becky. "I just wanted to tell you this week was incredible. You've given me a lot to think about."

"Likewise," replied Raven with bit of a chuckle.

The wrestler took hold of the fashion student's face and drew her in for a brief, but passionate kiss.

"Thank you," said Becky.

"You too," replied Raven. "Take care of yourself."

"You too."

As Raven watched Becky walk off, Eddie took both her and Chelsea by the arm, and led them down the gang plank.

"Eddie, what's your hurry?" protested Chelsea.

"I don't know what kind of love bug is going around on this boat," answered Eddie, "But I want to get off before it bites me, too."

**The End**

* * *

**_My assigned couple was Becky and Raven Baxter._**

**Becky** was the_ (female)_ captain of the Seven Seas High _(boys')_ wrestling team, whom Zack tried to woo in order to escape her wrath after she becomes the victim of a prank meant for Woody. He developed genuine feelings for her, only for her to fall for Woody.

**Raven Baxter** is the title character of the Disney series '_That's So Raven_'. She appeared in a crossover episode of The Suite Life of Zack and Cody, in which she traveled to Boston with her boss, fashion designer Donna Cabonna, and tried to get London to wear a dress designed by her.

**Chelsea** is Raven's air-headed, artistic, vegetarian, environmentally- and socially-conscious best friend. She was ineligible for the lottery due to never having set foot on a Tipton property, but there's no rule against using her in a beta pairing.

_Thanks for reading!_


	27. WyntirSno III

**Mr. Blankets Trip to Town**

By WyntirSno

Henry Blanket was waiting at the railing of the S. S. Tipton, he was anxious for the ship to dock. He really felt like he was about to reward himself for a job well done. He felt he had had many successes as the ships counselor mainly for the students of Seven Seas High.

He thought back on a few of those he thought he helped the most as he waited. It started with Addison and her ping-pong ball phobia, and then came Zack with his banana phobia that turned into Zack and Cody sharing their feelings of inadequacy towards each other. He then had to stop Zack and Mr. Moseby from their constant arguing, and help with the feelings of failure for Marcus after being dumped by his agent and for Woody with girls. He was still working on Bailey with her problem of having to be better than every one at everything; he was thinking that it was because she was the middle child in such a huge family, so she needed to stand out.

He did have to admit he had a little problem with Emma Tutweiler. Yes, she did take out a restraining order on him, which he never understood. He had finally got over his crush on her, and he was behaving. He had to give her his doll (which he missed terribly) so things were good.

So being that he thought he had done so well he felt he deserved his own office on the ship. He was tired of having all his meetings in a schoolroom with all the windows where everyone could see and stare at his patients.

Finally, here he was waiting at the railing for the ship to dock in Martensgrav Sweden again, he was going to go to UMAKA and get himself a couch, chair, and desk for his office. Mr. Moseby had warned him about the store and the crazy lady at the counter, but he decided to go anyway. If he couldn't handle a crazy person then he didn't deserve the furniture. So when they finished setting the ramp to the boat he was the first one off, he wanted to hurry so he could set up his office today.

When he entered the store he was wondering where the crazy lady was, because all he could see was an angel behind the counter. He took his number, eight, and waited for her to call him. He figured since he was the only one in the store he would be next. That's what he thought.

When Helga (he knew this because of her nametag) started calling out numbers he was shocked to say the least.

"One."

_'Really? She can't be serious.'_

"Too."

"Uh, excuse me, uh Helga is it? Can't you just skip ahead a little, no one else is here." Henry asked her.

"I'm so sorry sir, but yoo will have to wait yoor turn," she said politely as she smiled at him.

_'What a sweet angel!'_ He thought.

"Tree."

_'She must be the lady Mr. Moseby warned me about.'_

"Four."

_'Oh my, I just can't stand waiting for no reason!'_

"Five."

_'This angel must have crashed landed when she fell from heaven!!'_

"Six."

_'This is crazy!!!'_

"Seven."

_'You are better than this! You are a good person. Helga has OCD she can't help herself. It's ok; you are next, calm down Henry. You are a good person.'_

"Eight"

"Me, that's me, here I am," he cheerfully told her.

She turned to look at him and he forgot to speak.

"Can I help yoo sir?" She asked him sweetly.

"Uh huh… uh I mean yes, yes you can lovely angel. I am here to buy a Usitlaya, a Uberiten, and a Ursiten for my office," he explained to her.

"Oh ya, I can help yoo with that. Yest let me make a call too put in yoor order. Yoo can sit in our sooper comfy waiting area if yoo would like," she told him as she made the phone call.

"I think I like it right here just fine, thank you," he said as he leaned in grinning at her.

_'I think I found my new doll,'_ he thought to himself.

Helga gave him a strange look while she made her call.

"It will be a few minutes, sir," she told him as she started to hang up the phone.

"That's no problem, I can wait," he said as he leaned on the counter grinning.

Helga backed up a bit just as a loud buzzer went off.

"Oh lunchtime!" She said feeling relieved.

"Lunch? Oh that is a great idea. Would you like to go have lunch with me Helga?" The ships councilor asked her.

"That's ok, sir. I usually stay here and eat my herring sandwich in the beck," she answered. "You can stay out here in our sooper comfy waiting area."

Mr. Blanket moved over to the odd chairs and sat down, still staring at Helga. He saw her pick up the phone and heard part of her end of the conversation.

"Yes, could yoo please put a rush on that last order… yes I know… well the customer is sooper creepy… I know but he keeps staring at me… stalker... yes… ok… thank yoo very much."

He looked down at the floor.

_'I have done it again.'_

He stayed very quiet the rest of the time he was there. When they brought his desk, chair, and couch down he paid quickly and loaded them into a cab to take back to the ship.

A few hours later found Mr. Blanket sitting on his couch in his little office (it actually used to be a storage room) holding his mirror chanting.

"You are a good person."

**The End**

**

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**

**Notes on Pairing:**

_**Mr. Blanket**_ – the school councilor played by _**Michael Hitchcock**_, he was in two season 2 episode of _SLOD_, they were **'Goin' Bananas'** and **'The Defiant Ones'.**

_**Helga **_- the sales counter lady at UMAKA played by _**Mary Kate McGeehan**_ in **'The Swede Life'** episode of _SLOD_ season 2.


	28. Silver Turtle V

**Wedding Blues**

By SilverTurtle

Rating: T

**************

Bailey sighed into her glass of wine. The wedding had been lovely, really. But it was never easy letting an old flame go. And Cody had been her first love. Now he was married to his first love, Barbara.

To be honest, she wasn't even sure why she'd been invited to the wedding. She and Cody were friends still, sure, but she didn't think they were particularly close. An email exchanged every month and a phone call once in a blue moon wasn't exactly what she thought of as close, but perhaps he had different standards. Maybe talking science and math with someone in an email counts to him as a close friendship.

Or maybe it was because Barbara had wanted to show every one of Cody's ex-girlfriends that she had won and Cody was hers. That was probably it. She had sneered at most of the women in the reception line. The only one immune to the sneer had been Cody's mother, Carey. Cody hadn't even noticed Barbara's behavior, too busy getting slapped on the back by his brother and friends.

But that didn't really bother Bailey. She didn't want Cody back, so Barbara's snide remarks and victorious look were wasted on her. There was a reason she and Cody hadn't worked out, and it wasn't distance. Their time together had been nice for a while, but then Cody had started becoming someone Bailey didn't really recognize. It had started when he'd been willing to injure her to get out of turning in an essay, rather than tell the teacher he had forgotten to do the assignment, and it had only gotten worse from there. He'd started treating her poorly, ignoring her in favor of 'more entertaining' things, or when he did spend time with her he was never really there. In short, he'd stopped caring. Fallen out of love, just like that. Like a snap of his fingers and he was no longer interested in her.

So they'd broken up. He must have regretted some of the way he'd treated her towards the end because he'd been the one to reestablish contact between them, reaching out with an email apologizing for his behavior and asking to be friends. She'd accepted, he'd been a good friend even before they'd dated, so she was glad to at least have that back. There weren't many people she could talk math or science with and actually have them understand what she was saying, so she was pleased to have him back as a friend.

She had even begun to recognize some of the old Cody in their contact together. Being back in Boston must have reminded him of the person he had been. That or his mother had sternly lectured some sense back into him. She was betting on Carey.

Either way it didn't matter. What mattered was that after reestablishing their friendship she got a letter out of the blue inviting her to the Martin-Brownstein wedding. Cody had never mentioned that he was dating anyone in any of their conversations so this invitation came as quite the surprise. And since Cody was her friend, and she hadn't seen him in years, she had accepted.

Now she was here, in the Boston Tipton Hotel, at the wedding reception.

Alone.

Normally being alone wouldn't have bothered Bailey. She was a self actualized woman and proud of herself. But being at this wedding, where everyone seemed to have someone to be with was starting to wear on her nerves. And she realized that, really, she was pretty lonely.

She sighed into her wine again before taking another long sip.

Just then an attractive blonde tottered up to the bar and claimed a stool beside Bailey, intent on getting a drink though it seemed she'd had several already. She was lithe, with tan skin, and long silky hair.

Bailey wondered which party she was here for, bride or groom. And apparently the filter between her brain and mouth wasn't working because she asked that out loud without even waiting for the lady to get her drink.

Still, the young woman smiled a little wistfully at Bailey and answered in a lightly accented voice, "Groom. You?"

"Groom as well," Bailey nodded. "We used to date," she wasn't sure why she felt it necessary to add that.

"Me too!" the blonde responded enthusiastically, "Well, actually, my sister and I were kind of dating him at the same time, but he could never choose between us. It was alright because we were very good at sharing."

Bailey was startled. Never had she imagined Cody as a two-timer, but the picture this girl painted was giving her second thoughts.

"Though," the blonde said, "we were twelve at the time. And being identical twins, it's understandable he couldn't choose. And it was more of a crush than dating, really."

Oh. Well, that explains that.

"The wedding was so nice." The slightly tipsy blonde said; her drink finally materializing in front of her as the bartender wandered away again.

It was a beautiful wedding, Bailey had to admit, "Really nice," she agreed.

The blonde looked as though she'd found a missing piece of herself as she sighed out, "Really really nice."

"Uh, sure," Bailey said slowly, "I'm Bailey," and stuck out her hand to shake.

The blonde smiled beatifically at her, Bailey felt her breath catch in her throat thinking this girl is gorgeous. "I'm Jessica." She held out her hand and Bailey was surprised at the strength of her grip when they shook hands. "It's a pleasure to meet you," Jessica replied, her accent musical to Bailey's ears.

Bailey smiled back, "Likewise."

Suddenly Jessica leaned close still holding Bailey's hand, an amused gleam in her eyes, and asked in a hushed voice, "Did you see how the bride was looking at every girl in the reception line?"

"Like she had just pissed all over her territory and would like to rip apart any would-be rivals?" Bailey asked in a low tone trying to get her heartbeat, which had unexpectedly jumped at Jessica's nearness, to slow down again.

Jessica wrinkled her nose at that description, making Bailey think her adorable in addition to stunningly gorgeous, but nodded, "Exactly! As if we'd try to steal him now! He just got married!" The scandalized tone in Jessica's voice made Bailey think the situation even more amusing. "What does she think we'd do? Try to seduce him away from her? Please! He's a wonderful guy, but I wouldn't want someone who could be persuaded away from his bride on their wedding day."

Bailey, again, had to agree. A man like that wouldn't be worth the trouble. "I know," she said, "I think she just wanted to show us that we couldn't have him now, even if we wanted him. It's like we're all naughty puppies that peed on the floor and she's rubbing our noses in it."

"It's funny when you think of it like that," Jessica said as she started giggling.

"Really funny," Bailey replied laughing now.

"Really really funny." And suddenly both of them were laughing hysterically, making little barks and yips at each other, pretending to be naughty puppies.

With the ice broken between them they had pleasant conversations about anything that came to them, from agricultural methods, to fashion lines, to Jessica's twin Janice, to their histories with the Martin brothers. Bailey was shocked that a woman like Jessica would know anything about agriculture or science, but Jessica had pleasantly surprising depths, and Bailey was once more learning that she shouldn't judge books by their covers. By the time Jessica excused herself to use the restroom Bailey considered her a friend, one she was glad to have.

"Hey pretty lady," Bailey heard a smoothly confident voice over her shoulder say, "What're you doin' here all alone?"

She looked and found Zack Martin, brother of the groom and best man, addressing her and looking as handsome in his tux as any man could be.

"Hi Zack," Bailey stood to give her old friend a hug, "It's been a while."

"Sure has," he agreed pleasantly, "Care to dance?"

Just as charming as ever, Bailey thought with a smile, "I'd love to."

He led her out to the dance floor and found just enough space for them to sway together and chat.

"So, kind of surprising isn't it?" Zack asked with a nod towards Cody and Barbara murmuring to each other several yards away.

Bailey nodded, "I didn't even know he was dating when I got the invitation in the mail."

Zack arched a brow at her, "Disappointed it's not you?"

She looked at him startled, "No! No, not at all."

Zack just kept his brow up.

"Really, Zack," Bailey said softly, "There were very good reasons he and I broke up. The only thing I'm disappointed about is that he didn't tell me, himself, that he and Barbara were together again. I thought that, as a friend, he'd have told me something like that. Especially after all that trouble we went through on the boat."

Zack nodded, "Are you at least enjoying yourself, now that you're here?"

Bailey gave him a dazzling smile, "I've had a lot of fun. It was a beautiful wedding. Getting to see you both again, and other people from the ship, and meet people you've known, it's quite the experience. I was just talking with the most interesting girl, Jessica."

"Oh! You met one of the twins! I remember them. Jessica's a great dancer," Zack said, "when she let me lead." He muttered darkly.

Bailey laughed. Same old Zack. "She's been good company tonight. Speaking of company, did you come with a date?"

"I did," he confirmed, his chest puffed out proudly, "I brought my girlfriend, Agnes."

Bailey's eyes must have widened because he looked at her and chuckled, "I know. A girlfriend. Me. But believe it or not I'm in a steady committed relationship."

"That's great. I'm so happy for you, Zack." She pulled him closer and hugged him, smiling hugely.

"Hey!" An angry shout broke their hug, "Who do you think you are trying to take my man?!"

Bailey saw a flash of curly hair before feeling the sting of a hand across her cheek. "Ow! What the hell?"

"Agnes, what—Bailey are you alright?"

"You lost your twin! Well, this one's mine." Agnes slapped Bailey again, "So back off, bitch." The shorter curly haired Agnes took an aggressive stance in front of Zack, now that Bailey had been forcibly removed from their embrace.

She moved to hit Bailey again. Her hand sailed through the air, only to be stopped by Bailey catching her wrist in a powerful grip. "That's enough of that," Bailey said lowly, fury practically pouring off her.

Agnes surprised her by using her other hand to get a third slap in, scratching her cheek. Bailey's grip tightened around the wrist she held and Agnes made a small sound of pain. That was quite enough, the gauntlet had been thrown and she wouldn't be Bailey Pickett if she let a challenge like that go unanswered.

Just as she went to strike back, a body interposed between the two women.

Bailey looked down and found Jessica looking back at her. Jessica's hand skittered across Bailey's stomach, over the curve of her hip, and around her back, pulling herself in tight to Bailey's side. Over Jessica's shoulder she saw Zack's eyebrows shoot up under his bangs, and she knew instantly what he was thinking. And to be honest, she was thinking it too.

Jessica grabbed Bailey's free hand, lacing their fingers together. She stretched up on her tiptoes to speak into Bailey's ear, lips brushing skin, "Bailey," Bailey nearly melted, "she isn't worth the trouble. You don't want to cause a scene."

Bailey was still angry, she tested Jessica's grip on her and found it solid. Jessica squeezed the hand she held and tried again, "Barbara will never let you speak to Cody again if you ruin tonight for her." Apparently Jessica saw that talking to Cody was not big enough incentive to stop her because she pressed even more tightly against Bailey, hand tracing seductive patterns on her back, and whispered in her ear, "Can't you think of better things to do?"

Bailey's knees went weak and her eyes closed without her permission. She most certainly could think of better things to do, and they all involved the blonde currently attached to her. Reluctantly she dropped Agnes' wrist and whispered back at Jessica, "You're evil."

Jessica was smirking at her when she opened her eyes, she said, "You're easy." She kissed Bailey's cheek before stepping back, still holding Bailey's hand. "Come on. Let's clean that scratch up."

Bailey let herself be led to the bar, looking back once to see Zack having words with his crazy girlfriend.

"You poor thing," Jessica cooed as she sat Bailey on a stool and started dabbing at her lightly bleeding cheek with a napkin. It didn't hurt at all, but it was nice to be fawned over, and it gave her the perfect opportunity to study Jessica in a way she hadn't before. She found that she liked what she saw.

"Hey, Bailey," Zack said tentatively as he approached looking sheepish, "Are you alright?"

She smiled at Zack, Jessica's hand was working wonders for how she was feeling at the moment, "I'm fine Zack. This is just a scratch. Girl has to hit harder than a bull can kick to take me. And she wasn't anywhere near that. Remember, I used to wrassle gators for fun."

Jessica looked down at her startled for a moment, they hadn't gotten to that part of Bailey's past, but she moved beyond it, and let her fingers caress any lingering sting from Bailey's cheek.

"Well, that's…uh, good?" Zack said losing his focus for a moment watching the ladies, "I'm sorry about Agnes, she's…"

"Crazy?" Bailey supplied shooting him a sardonic look while Jessica played with her hand.

Zack chuckled, "Little bit. She just gets jealous, a lot."

"Well, I've got better things to do than worry about your crazy girlfriend."

"I can see that," Zack replied, waggling his eyebrows at the two girls suggestively. "You ladies have fun. And don't do anything I wouldn't do!" He added as he sauntered away.

Bailey rolled her eyes, "Like that narrows it down."

Jessica just looked at her amused.

Embarrassed, Bailey cleared her throat. "So, Jessica," she hesitated a moment, but Jessica just looked at her warmly, expectantly, "Uhm, would you like to dance? With me?"

Jessica's smile lit the room, "I thought you'd never ask."

And as Bailey was dragged out onto the dance floor she thought, Agnes is wrong, I do have a twin of my own.

**************

**THE END**

**

* * *

  
**

**Notes on the Pairing:**

**Bailey Pickett** is a main character of the cast of Suite Life On Deck. She is a farm girl from Kettlecorn, Kansas and is a friend to Zack and girlfriend to Cody. She is played by**_ Debby Ryan._**

**Jessica** is one of a set of identical twins girls that appeared for seven episodes in The Suite Life of Zack and Cody. She is played by**_ Becky Rosso._**


	29. Snapplelinz IV

**It Started With A Dance**

**By Snapplelinz**

The view from the penthouse of the Hôtel de Paris was simply exquisite. From this vantage point, you could see Monte Carlo laid out in all its luxurious finery. But the young man who stood by the window didn't care much for the scenery in particular. He admitted to himself that it was beautiful. But he wouldn't be here for long enough to find out due to his various obligations that awaited him upon his return to Ishkabar. He sighed and closed the curtains sharply as his advisor entered his lavish suite and addressed him.

"Prince Sanjay, the limo is waiting for you downstairs."

"Thank you," Sanjay responded wearily, turning to face his advisor.

"Do try and enjoy yourself tonight, Sire." His advisor suggested with a wan smile.

"Since I don't care for in the least for masquerade balls, I will certainly do my best. Have my friends, Zack and Cody Martin, arrived yet to accompany me to the Ambassador's home?" Sanjay asked pointedly of his advisor.

"Are you sure you won't reconsider not having the Martin Twins accompany you to the Ambassador's Masquerade Ball tonight, Sire? After the furore they caused during your stay at the Boston Tipton six years ago, it might be more prudent to attend the ball sans such frivolous characters." Sanjay's advisor suggested with a grimace.

"Certainly not. Zack and Cody Martin are my dearest friends and it is my wish that they accompany me to tonight's festivities. If you remember correctly, it was I who caused the furore at the Boston Tipton six years ago. The Martin twins were merely helping me find time to relax apart from my princely duties. And furthermore, I explained to my parents that I would only attend the ball on condition that I be allowed to have some of my own friends in attendance and be allowed to leave at any moment of my choosing should I not enjoy myself. With that said, let the matter rest as it is." Sanjay suggested firmly.

"Very well, Sire. Zack and Cody Martin are waiting for you downstairs in the lobby." Sanjay's advisor replied evenly before exiting the suite.

Sanjay looked over his appearance in the mirror once more. He sighed audibly and exited the suite with his mask in hand. After a brief trip in the elevator, Sanjay found himself being escorted by his personal bodyguard detail into the lobby where the Martin twins sat on a lavish sofa waiting for him.

"Whoa, Sanjay! Nice threads." Zack complimented appreciatively.

"Zack's right, Sanjay. You'll turn a few heads for sure." Cody agreed sincerely, giving his friend a small smile.

It was true; Sanjay did look quite handsome for the occasion. He was wearing a tailored black tuxedo that complimented his towering stature with a white silk bow-tie around his collar and a white dress shirt underneath his dinner jacket. He had styled his hair with liberal amounts of hair gel into numerous spikes.

"Thanks guys, you look great too." Sanjay replied cheerfully while he knocked fists with his two friends from Boston.

Like Sanjay, Cody and Zack too were wearing tailored tuxedos. But Cody wore a royal blue dress shirt with his black tuxedo while Zack sported a wine-red dress shirt with his gun-metal grey tuxedo. Both had opted to wear regular ties on their collars instead and slicked their now dark brown hair back with liberal amounts of hair gel.

"Come on, the limo's waiting for us outside." Sanjay added, gesturing with his hand towards the hotel's exit.

"Sweet! Is there a mini-bar inside?" Zack asked eagerly as he literally sprinted outside.

Sanjay and Cody both laughed at Zack's antics as they strolled through the revolving doors. They climbed into the limousine along with Sanjay's personal body guard and the chauffeur reversed out of the valet parking.

"Thanks again for inviting us to join you at the Ambassador's Masquerade Ball, Sanjay." Cody thanked for the umpteenth time as they began driving through town.

"There's no need to thank me. You two showed me to how to live the 'Suite Life: American Style' and be a kid while I was in Boston. When I heard that you were aboard the S.S. Tipton en route to Italy, I wanted to hang out with you guys for old times' sake." Sanjay explained cheerily.

Despite Sanjay's obvious happiness to be reunited with them, Cody could sense that the prince was still somewhat morose for one reason or another.

"What's wrong, Sanjay? You seem kinda down." Cody ventured shrewdly.

"It's this stupid Masquerade Ball. The idea of having to mingle with all those boring royals and ambassadors is not my idea of fun. I thought I would have more time to explore Monte Carlo on my own without any supervision. But I'm going back to Ishbakar in three days time to attend a charity ball. My parents and advisor have been better with giving me more time to myself in recent years amidst all my princely duties. But I still have to attend all these boring functions when all I want to do is kick back and watch 'Entourage'." Sanjay complained wearily.

"Maybe it won't be so bad. You might actually have fun tonight." Cody replied optimistically.

"Cheer up, Sanjay. After all, it is a party at the end of the day. And every party has its fair share of hot babes." Zack remarked seedily while glancing out the limousine window at the scenery ahead.

"It's a masquerade ball, Zack. You won't be able to tell who the hot babes are." Cody pointed out disparagingly.

"They've gotta take off their masks eventually. And when they do, Nasty Z will be ready and waiting to blow their minds." Zack returned triumphantly, causing Sanjay to chuckle.

"It's probably a good thing everyone's wearing masks. If I do happen to recognise anyone I don't want to talk to, I can still slip away into the crowd." Sanjay pointed out with some positivity in his voice.

The three of them glanced down at the masks in their laps that they were supposed to put on before they exited the limo. Sanjay had a silver mask which when worn, would cover his face down to the top of his upper lip. Zack would be sporting a red and gold mask similar to Sanjay's gilded one that matched his dress shirt. Cody had chosen a pearly white mask which only covered the right side of his face, leaving his left profile still exposed.

"Your mask defeats the purpose of a masquerade ball. You're supposed to hide your entire face, not just your bad side, Cody." Zack teased.

"Shut up, Zack. This is a classic mask of theatrical design. It's an imitation of the mask from the 'Phantom of the Opera'," Cody countered defensively.

"Then you and the 'Phantom' have something in common: you're both dorks." Zack responded callously.

Sanjay shook his head and laughed openly at the twins' banter.

They had finally arrived at their destination: a stunning 30-bedroomed mansion belonging to the Spanish Ambassador, Santiago Juan Hernandez. The house itself was situated in La Condamine, a district of Monaco adjacent to the harbour of Port Hercules. At sunset, the Mediterranean Ocean behind the house made for the perfect backdrop. The courtyard in front of the house was littered with millions of glowing red and white lights which lit up the entire stone-paved driveway as far as the eye could see.

"Whoa," the twins murmured in unison as they gazed straight ahead of them.

"You think this is impressive? You should see the inside of the Ambassador's home." Sanjay pointed out with a smirk on his face.

"You mean it's better than this inside?" Cody asked in amazement.

"Yip," Sanjay answered matter-of-factly, having visited the Ambassador's home with his family on several occasions.

A butler ushered them through the magnificent wood panelled doors and into a large ball room already populated with an array of guests of the highest order. It was under the intense glare of the ballroom's largest crystal chandelier where Sanjay was finally accosted by the Ambassador himself, who had been conversing with his parents before his arrival. Having led them to their host, the butler took his leave and returned to the sanctuary of the front door once more. Zack and Cody bowed awkwardly and offered humble greetings to the King and Queen of Ishkabar and the Spanish Ambassador.

"Sanjay, my boy. How wonderful to see you again." Ambassador Hernandez greeted exuberantly from behind a magnificent gold mask, clapping Sanjay hard on the back.

"Likewise, Ambassador Hernandez. I trust that you and your family are well?" Sanjay asked politely.

"In the best of health, I assure you." Ambassador Hernandez replied gaily.

"How nice of you to grace us with your presence, Sanjay." His father greeted in his usual brisk tone, sporting a black mask which matched his tailored tuxedo.

"I promised I would attend the ball, father. Mother, you look lovely tonight." Sanjay complimented his mother stoically, who was wearing a splendid red ballroom gown and matching mask.

"Thank you, my child. You look very dashing tonight. Perhaps you intend to catch the eye of a young lady?" Sanjay's mother asked with a teasing smile.

"As long as he does so prudently and not in a way that invites any kind of scandal." Sanjay's father added sternly.

"You needn't worry about that, my parents. For I have no intention of enjoying myself in the least." Sanjay responded dryly.

"Nonsense. It is impossible for anyone not to enjoy themselves at one of my little 'soirées'. And you're just in time as well; the dancing is about to begin." Ambassador Hernandez replied enthusiastically, taking hold of Sanjay's arm and steering him towards the centre of the ballroom floor.

"Oh no, Ambassador. I really couldn't," Sanjay protested weakly, but was interrupted by the Ambassador.

"No need to be modest, my boy. I'm sure that your dancing skill is more than adequate to catch the eye of a beautiful young lady in the throngs tonight." Ambassador Hernandez intercepted smoothly right before pushing Sanjay lightly into the crowd of dancers as the band began playing.

Zack and Cody gazed at the scene with uncertainty.

"Now what?" Cody asked dumbly, watching as various masked persons partnered up on the dance floor.

Zack caught sight of what looked like a few girls his age in expensive dresses and masks giggling on the sidelines.

"Smile and sell it," he suggested coyly, dragging Cody along to the throng of girls to ask them to dance.

Sanjay watched in alarm as the crowd of dancing masked figures formed a tight circle around him. He twirled around helplessly on the balls of his feet while deciding on his next move. Before he could blink, he was dragged into the formation, moving between female partners every few seconds with the slightest change of hands. With a clever manoeuvre, Sanjay managed to side-step his current female partner, who seemed a little too eager in her efforts to be friendly. Now all he had to do was make his way through the dancing horde and escape the claustrophobic ballroom.

But this was not to be as he collided with a young girl, who seemed intent on escaping as well. She had long wavy golden brown hair and was wearing a dark gold dress, black elbow-length gloves and a mask that was half gold, half black. Judging by the way Sanjay massaged his smarting elbow and the masked girl clutched painstakingly at her chest, they had bumped head-on into one another. Sanjay glared pointedly at the young girl, who appeared to have muttered several French curse words under her breath in her annoyance at the collision. Just as he was about to let her pass, Sanjay caught the eye of Ambassador Hernandez, who gestured with his eyes in the direction of the young woman he had just crashed into. Judging by his body language, Sanjay surmised that the Ambassador wanted him to dance with her.

With a loud groan, Sanjay took hold of the masked girl's hand and led her into the centre of the dance floor, causing her to utter a surprised exclamation at his boldness. While he twirled her around, Sanjay caught a few more unkind French syllables that were being uttered in his direction from his unwilling partner.

"You're going to have to translate that last part," Sanjay muttered tersely as the girl turned to face him.

"Why do you dance with me in ze middle? I was trying to escape." The girl hissed in English with a heavily enunciated French accent.

"So was I, but I guess that's out of the question now." Sanjay answered dully, grasping her two gloved hands in his and moving in time to the song played by the band.

"If it hadn't been for you, I would've already been out ze door and out of zis boring party," the girl continued irritably, twirling slightly away from him and spinning back towards his outstretched hand once more.

"If it hadn't been for you, I would've already been out the door as well, and without an elbow injury." Sanjay shot back moodily as the two of them side-stepped a couple dancing near them.

"I cannot believe zat my father convinced me to attend zis stupeed masquerade ball. Doesn't he know that I want to go to parties with people my own age?" the girl huffed indignantly.

For the first time in the last few seconds, Sanjay sympathised with his dance partner, who seemed just as miserable as he felt.

"That's something you and I have in common. My parents forced me to come to Ambassador Hernandez's 'little soiree' as well." Sanjay answered sympathetically.

"Je suis désolé," the girl murmured apologetically.

"That's okay, it's not your fault." Sanjay replied quickly.

"You speak French?" the young girl asked in amazement as they continued dancing.

"Just a little. But I didn't understand what you said before when I knocked into you." Sanjay replied with a sheepish grin, causing his partner to giggle.

"Zat is okay. I was only, how do you say…insulting you?" the young girl asked uncertainly.

"It sounded more like a death threat, but I can't be sure exactly." Sanjay teased, causing his partner to blush beneath her mask.

"My name is Jolie." The young girl introduced herself finally when it had been quiet between them for several seconds.

"I'm Sanjay." Sanjay murmured softly.

Jolie gasped while she took in his appearance more fully.

"Mon dieu! You are Prince Sanjay?!" Jolie exclaimed in shock as their hands moved to cup one another's cheeks tenderly in time to the dance.

"Oui," Sanjay answered in a nonplussed tone.

"I have insulted a member of ze royal family. When my father hears about zis, he will be trés angry. Zut alors!" Jolie wailed painstakingly.

"Why? Who is your father?" Sanjay asked curiously.

"Pierre Saint Richelieu," Jolie answered seriously.

"The French Ambassador???" Sanjay asked in alarm.

He dipped Jolie backwards and then propelled her forward in expert fashion so that she was upright and moving in sync with him once more. The last person he had expected to dance with during the course of the evening was the daughter of the French Ambassador. He hadn't even known that the Ambassador had children.

"Oui. He always tells me to be polite to everyone. Now he will lecture me till ze ball is finit." Jolie answered woefully.

"Don't be upset, Jolie. When I was 10, I called Prince Giovanni of Italy a hairy baboon before I knew who he was." Sanjay admitted conspiratorially.

"_Zat was you?!"_ Jolie questioned in amusement, her hand moving towards his chest and steering him backwards as they continued dancing together.

"Guilty as charged," Sanjay answered with a small smile beneath his mask.

"I am sorry that I insulted you. You are actually very nice." Jolie apologised meekly as her hand rested on Sanjay's broad shoulder while they swayed to and fro.

"It's okay. I'm sorry that I made you dance with me." Sanjay apologised slowly.

"It is ça va. Your dancing is trés bien, mais…" Jolie praised with a nervous giggle.

"But what?" Sanjay asked anxiously, glancing momentarily down at his footwork.

"I uh, prefer to dance in ze discothèque to um, Leetle Wayne." Jolie answered self-consciously.

"You like American hip-hop music?" Sanjay asked in amazement.

"Oui. It is my favourite music." Jolie admitted shyly.

"Moi aussi." Sanjay ventured bravely, meeting her gaze.

Sanjay watched in fascination as a smile curled on Jolie's lips from beneath her mask.

"I wish I could go clubbing. But I'm going back to Ishkabar in three days time." Sanjay mumbled wistfully.

Before Jolie could answer, Zack and Cody strolled over to them with elated expressions on their faces.

"I guess the party's not so boring after all, is it, Sanjay?" Cody asked with a wink.

"Aren't you going to introduce us?" Zack questioned eagerly while gazing speculatively at Sanjay's dance partner.

"Zack, Cody, this is Jolie Saint Richelieu, the daughter of the French Ambassador, Pierre Saint Richelieu. Jolie, these are my American friends, Zack and Cody Martin." Sanjay introduced politely.

Zack, Cody and Jolie did a double take at the mention of their respective names.

"_Jolie???!" _the twins exclaimed in shock.

"_Zack and Cody??! Zut alors!" _Jolie exclaimed in amazement.

"No friggin' way, it's the French girl that we were both hitting on back in Boston!" Zack exclaimed in horror, turning to face Cody after Jolie had removed her mask from her face.

"You mean the French girl that you stole from me, Zack!" Cody countered waspishly.

"Stole? Please, I could've had her without any competition from you." Zack pointed out callously.

"You know, that is just so typical of you, Zack-"

"Whoa, time-up, guys." Sanjay interjected chidingly.

"That's time-out, Sanjay." Zack retorted quickly.

"You know each other?" Sanjay questioned dumbly of them.

"Oui," the three of them answered at the same time, albeit slightly more sardonic a response from the twins.

"So you came over to say hello?" Sanjay asked curiously, feeling slightly disappointed with the intrusion.

"Uh, actually Zack and I came over to find out why you were still dancing. The song's over." Cody explained simply.

Sanjay (who had also removed his mask) and Jolie glanced at each other, then towards the stage where the band had been playing just minutes ago, then gazed back at one another once more. Just as Jolie opened up her mouth to say something, Ambassadors Hernandez and Richelieu had weaved their way through the crowd towards them.

"Sanjay, my boy! You were wonderful on the dance floor! All it takes is the right dancing partner, eh?" Ambassador Hernandez asked jubilantly while clasping Sanjay around the shoulder and glancing furtively at Jolie's side profile.

"Jolie, there is an emergency at the embassy. I'm afraid we must leave the ball immediately." Ambassador Richelieu began tersely while conversing in hurried tones with his daughter.

"Ambassador Richelieu, it's so nice to see you again." Cody greeted cordially, extending his hand towards the French Ambassador.

"Do I know you?" Ambassador Richelieu asked quizzically.

"We're Cody and Zack Martin. We met you and your daughter a few years ago during your stay at the Boston Tipton." Cody explained hurriedly.

"We both dated your daughter. Ring a bell?" Zack pressed.

"No. Thank you for inviting us to the ball, Ambassador Hernandez. Come, Jolie. We must go." Ambassador Richelieu greeted quickly and shook the Spanish Ambassador's hand.

"Une minute, Papa. I would like to say au revoir to my friends," Jolie interjected calmly.

Both Zack and Cody got a secret thrill when Jolie leant in and kissed both of them on the cheeks in parting. When she came to Sanjay, she curtseyed politely with her head slightly bowed away from him. Sanjay leant forward, grasped one of her petite hands and kissed the knuckle gently. He grinned in surprise when the hand he had kissed grasped his in a firm handshake.

"Thank you for keeping my daughter company, Prince Sanjay." Ambassador Richelieu thanked promptly.

Without a backwards glance, Jolie left the ballroom with her father.

"I can't believe he didn't remember us," Cody murmured indignantly.

"Who cares about that right now?! Man, Jolie's still really hot! Tough break, dude." Zack stated while clapping Sanjay sympathetically on the back.

"Yeah, Sanjay. The two of you looked really good together on the dance floor. It's too bad she had to leave." Cody added sincerely.

"Don't worry guys, I think I'll be seeing her really soon." Sanjay answered confidently.

"What makes you say that?" Cody queried curiously.

Without another word, Sanjay opened his hand to reveal a small slip of paper and handed it to Cody. Zack stood behind Cody and read over his shoulder.

"Whoa," Cody murmured in astonishment.

"Sweet! She gave you digits!" Zack exclaimed enthusiastically, ripping the paper out of Cody's hands.

"Are you gonna call her?" Cody asked curiously.

"I'm leaving in three days time. You only live once." Sanjay answered seriously.

The three of them broke out into mischievous smirks as they did the twins' signature 'fist pound and scorch' manoeuvre with a loud cry. Many of the upper-class guests in the ballroom turned and stared at them in bewilderment, including the King and Queen of Ishkabar.

***************

_**The Next Night…**_

Sanjay had promptly called Jolie on her private number the minute he returned to his penthouse suite after the masquerade ball. She had given him the address of a club in downtown Monte Carlo and asked him to meet her there around 9pm. Sanjay then phoned the twins (who were sleeping aboard the S.S. Tipton) and asked them to be his wingmen. They found the club with the help of a friendly cab driver who knew all the back roads through Monte Carlo. And now they were standing a few feet away from the DJ's platform near the crowded dance floor awaiting Jolie's arrival.

"Where are they?" Zack asked impatiently for the umpteenth time in 5 minutes.

"They'll be here soon, Zack. Relax." Cody chided tersely.

Sanjay said nothing, but glanced nervously at the entrance to the club, wondering how he had agreed to this in the first place. What if Jolie didn't come?

As if answer to his question, his eyes locked with Jolie's brown orbs as she strolled into the hazy club, accompanied by the two girls Zack and Cody had danced with at Ambassador Hernandez's party, who had turned out to be the twin daughters of the Norwegian Ambassador, Rolf Sorlie. Zack and Cody's eyes lit up with anticipation as their dates, Nina and Katrina Sorlie, came towards them. Sanjay's breath caught in his throat at the sight of Jolie in casual club wear, looking even more beautiful under the flickering strobe lights.

"Sanjay! Have you been waiting long?" Jolie asked apologetically as she wrapped her arms around Sanjay's neck and kissed him affectionately on both cheeks.

"You're here now, Jolie. That's all that matters." Sanjay answered seriously, breaking into a smile.

"Shall we?" he asked demurely, gesturing with his hand towards the crowd on the dance floor in the centre of the room.

"Oui," Jolie answered assuredly, placing her hand in Sanjay's and following him through the crowd.

"Would you like to dance, Katrina? I've been practising the tango," Cody stated eagerly.

"You are such a dork, Cody." Zack muttered while rolling his eyes.

"I would love to, Cody." Katrina answered eagerly and took Cody's hand as they too disappeared into the crowd.

Zack watched them go with a smirk on his face and turned to face Nina, who was watching him expectantly.

"Ready to hit the dance floor, Sweet Thang?" Zack asked suavely of the blonde-haired beauty.

"Oh Zack, I love it when you talk 'American'." Nina gushed appreciatively.

"Wait till you see me dance," Zack replied with a smug smirk, taking her hand and leading her onto the dance floor.

"You look beautiful, Jolie." Sanjay yelled out over the music as they danced together.

"Merci beaucoup, Sanjay. Zat is so…spicy." Jolie answered in a husky tone.

"Spicy? Don't you mean sweet?" Sanjay asked in confusion.

"No, spicy." Jolie reiterated in a demure tone while biting her bottom lip suggestively.

"Oh," Sanjay replied eagerly, twirling her around so that she faced away from him.

He wrapped his arms around her waist and brought her closer to his body till her back was flush against his chest. Jolie in turn brought one of her hands up and caressed the back of Sanjay's neck and placed the other hand over his hand clasping her stomach as they danced together.

"Too bad Bob's not here to see this," Zack murmured comically, watching Sanjay and Jolie sway to and fro to the rhythm of the music playing overhead.

**_The End_**

**

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**

**A/N:**

**_Prince Sanjay of Ishkabar_ **_(played by **Neil Joshi**)_ first appeared in the _SLOZAC_ season 1 episode _'**Boston Holiday**_'. In this episode, Sanjay is tired of his princely duties and with Zack and Cody's help, experiences for the first time what it's like to be a normal kid.

**_Jolie_** _(played by **Katelyn Pippy**__)_ is the daughter of the French Ambassador who stays at the Boston Tipton in the _SLOZAC_ season 2 episode _'**French 101**'_. Originally, it was Zack and Cody who were vying for the young French girl's affections, but their best friend, Bob, who won her heart in the end. I wasn't sure what her father's name was, so I made it up **_: )_**

**French words/phrases used in this story:**

**Je suis désolé = I am sorry**

**Mon Dieu! = My God!**

**Oui = Yes **

**Zut alors! = Damn!**

**Ça va = Okay or So-so (50/50)**

**Trés bien = Very good**

**Mais = But/However**

**Discothèque = Disco/Club**

**Moi aussi = Me also/Me too**

**Une minute = One minute/moment**

**Au Revoir = Goodbye/Farewell**


	30. Hurricane 13 VI

**Misunderstanding**

by The Hurricane 13

*****************

There was a warm summer breeze flowing across the Sky Deck as Addison approached the juice bar. The deck was busy with people, most of which had just finished a screening of 'Flowers and Chocolate,' starring Hugh Grant. It was almost curfew, but Addison decided to have one last sugar fix before heading off to her cabin.

"Back again?" the bartender asked as the pretty brunette took her usual seat at the end of the bar.

"These things are addictive," she replied.

"The usual?"

"No, it's almost bed time, better make it a sugar free," she smiled, "Strawberry-Banana."

As the bartender began preparing Addison's order, an unfamiliar voice came from behind.

"Mind if I sit here?" the tall, red-haired boy asked.

"No, it's fine," she replied.

As the bartender took the boy's order, Addison studied his features and the way he spoke. When he was finished ordering, she decided to talk to him.

"My name's Addison." She stuck out her hand for him to shake.

"I'm Bob," the boy answered, accepting her handshake.

"I haven't seen you in any of my classes. Are you on a cruise?"

"No, I came on board to visit a couple of friends from back home in Boston," he answered.

Addison could tell that Bob was shy and thought it was sweet. She also thought he was kind of cute.

"Oh really," she said, batting her eye lashes at him and twisting her hair around with her finger.

"Um... yeah. Do you know Zack and Cody?" Bob asked nervously, seemingly having picked up on Addison's signals.

"OOH! I know Zack and Cody!" She said excitedly before catching herself.

"I mean... yeah. They're cool." She continued twirling her hair and smiled while looking into Bob's eyes.

Bob gave her a big smile in return, but was visibly nervous.

"So... um... kinda chilly out here, huh?" his nervous smile was accompanied by an even more nervous laugh.

"Not really," Addison said. "It is summer time... and... we're in Miami."

"Oh... must be the wind then..." Bob said, still nervously laughing and smiling.

"Um... is something wrong?"

"No... ha ha... why?"

"You seem kinda nervous. Is it because you think I'm pretty?" Addison asked.

"NO!" Bob blurted out. Addison scoffed causing him to nervously correct himself.

"I mean... you ARE... I just... ha ha... man, it's hot out here tonight isn't it?"

"So you do think I'm pretty?" Addison asked, "That's good because I think you're kinda cute yourself."

"Ohh ho ho kay," Bob said, "Um... thank you... you too."

"You wanna go back to my cabin?"

This question caused Bob to do a spit take with his smoothie.

"Oh... God... sorry..." Bob said jumping up from his chair.

Addison stood up and grabbed a napkin and started wiping the smoothie off of his shirt before moving lower and rubbing it off his shorts.

"Thank you," he said, not realizing where her hands were.

"WHAT IS GOING ON HERE!" a voice screamed from behind.

Addison kept wiping as Bob turned around and saw his girlfriend, Barbara, standing behind him looking VERY angry.

"What is this!"

"Oh no! Barbara! I...I...It's not what it looks like!" Bob slapped Addison's hands away from his crotch. "She was just helping me with a spill!"

Addison sat back down on her stool and watched in amazement as Barbara's anger and Bob's embarassment turned their respective faces bright red.

"I leave you alone for 5 minutes and come back to find you with another girl's hands all over you!" Barbara shouted.

"I'm sorry, honey! I..." Bob started.

"Don't appologize! If you want some... FLOOZIE rubbing her hands all over your privates, don't let me stop you!"

"Hey, I'm not a floozie!" Addison spoke up.

"SHUT UP!" Barbara yelled.

Addison grabbed her smoothie and huffed as she walked away. Barbara grabbed Bob by his ear and lead him all the way to his cabin as he yelped in pain the whole way.   Zack had just stepped out of the shower when he heard the cabin door open. Figuring it was Bob coming back for the night, he grabbed a towel and wrapped it around his naked body and stepped out to greet his friend just in time to catch the tail end of Barbara's scolding.

"And don't come out of here until I come get you in the morning and don't ever let me catch you with some... HO rubbing her hands all over you!!"

"Yes, honey. Sorry." Bob said in defeat.

He had tried to reason with her, but wasn't able to get more than a word or two in edge wise the entire journey from the Sky Deck to the cabin door. He closed his eyes and leaned in for a kiss goodnight, but instead, Barbara shoved him into the room and slammed the door. Bob sighed and turned around to see Zack standing near the bathroom door in his towel. Zack was smiling so Bob knew something was coming and braced himself for whatever it might be.

"Wow. You know, you are the luckiest man on Earth," Zack said in his trademark sarcasm.

With that, the blonde teen returned to the bathroom to finish getting ready for bed.

**The End.**

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**

(_**Note from Hurricane: I hope everyone enjoyed this! The character of Addison is kind of one dimensional on the show, but I've always thought she seemed like the type that would... "get around" if you catch my meaning. And I hope I spelled "floozie" right, lol)**_

**Notes on the pairing:**

**Addison** is a classmate of our heroes in _SLOD_.

**Bob** is a long time friend of Zack and Cody who made many appearances in _SLOZAC_ and once on _SLOD._


	31. Undefinedliving

**Their Bloody Valentine**

By Undefinedliving

* * *

**A/N:** Unlike the previous stories you've probably read, this story is dark from beginning to end. When you read it, it should be clear why I've gone down this route and I hope y'all enjoy it despite how different it is from the others.

* * *

Words cannot describe the amount of guilt that is thrust upon me as I look helplessly at your bloodstained body against the dark, unforgiving pavement. Where the actual wound is, I do not know for all I see is a mix of our blood and the tears I shed as I wait for the sharp, intangible pain in my back to come to an end. You, on the other hand, are still breathing. It is a welcome sign if your brother doesn't assume the worst and comes back to this smoldering wreckage of a restaurant. If he does assume the worst, then I believe this is the last time I'll be seeing you, my friend. Wait, is friend the correct word for a spy who has doubled as an internet seductress for the purposes of assassinating the daughter of one of the richest business tycoons in the world? Again, I stare at your innocent face, framed by golden hair that is now caked in quickly drying blood. I bet there are many girls who have run their hands through your hair, overwhelmed by emotions that they cannot recognize at such a young age. Then suddenly, I feel as if I have been stabbed in the heart.

You are not the only one I will be affecting tonight.

Images of the people affected by my heartlessness flash through my mind like a slideshow on crack and I am tortured by the piercing blue stare of your brother. The sobs of his girlfriend that was like a sister to you echo in my mind like a broken record. Many are affected by your death, Zackary Martin; more than you could ever give yourself credit for. Again, my heart begins to throb and I let out a shriek so loud that I believe that even your friends on the S.S Tipton could hear.

I have betrayed the trust of the only people that I have ever loved, besides you.

The girl I was entrusted to take care of shrieks in her sleep. Her tangled red hair distorts her face as she writhes in her bed, waking up her roommate with a shock. Jenna Meridian, the girl whose father entrusted me with caring for and who believes that I am her mother, is feeling a pain harsher than death's grasp and just before she is awoken by her friend, time freezes and I am caught in the smoldering brown gaze of the man who I have never loved, only obeyed. Red locks swim around his head like a dark cloud that conceals what I am not worthy of seeing. He speaks no words, but I know what he is thinking by the way he looks at me, failure. Failure to protect, failure to disobey my evil superiors at St. Mark Industries, failure to do what's right, everything that mattered I had failed to do.

When I had first started to use you, I had failed to realize how despicable this was.

I had registered myself into Better Life as Scarlet Meridian, a young, American redhead who had recently moved to the UK after a death in the family. Your arcade was easy to find and from the moment I had asked you for recommendations for which game I should play first, you were hooked. Suddenly, you were asking me to compete in tournaments hosted by you that you'd always let me win. We'd spend hours chatting in the arcade with your pal, Brock aka Woody Fink aka your first mistake. The revealing of the names of people you knew in real life that played turned into full-on rants about your brother and countless stories about your escapades on the S.S Tipton; all of which made me closer to you for specific reason. All of this information was great for James Smith, head spy at St. Mark Industries, for he was the one who sent me on this mission. From a villain's standpoint, this was a truly brilliant plan compared to the condiment incident we had on the ship. Not saying that meeting you in person wasn't at all helpful to our plan to bring down Tipton Industries. Your gullibility was the key to the assassination of London Tipton.

IF only I was that heartless.

As we grew as friends, something wrong began to happen. The more we chatted, the more I became more immature. I was changing into a teenager both onscreen and off before my very eyes, and the feelings I had for you became less than fake. To me, you were the complete package. Every word you spoke was either funny, charming, or even sensitive when you vented to me about how different you felt about your twin brother and what you were going through in regards to being pressured into becoming more like him. Slowly but surely, I was falling for a man ten years younger than me.

It all changed when you said that the S.S Tipton was docking in London for Valentines Day.

Suddenly, I wasn't Scarlet Meridian. I was the woman who'd single-handedly start the chain reaction that would eventually cause Tipton Industries to crumble. Victory was so close I could taste it. Everything that I had ever dreamed of was there; I just had to pull the trigger. Without hesitation, I picked out the most realistic red wig money could buy and booked a room at the finest hotel using my alias. No less than a day after receiving your message, I was in a taxi sporting a smoking hot red dress, heels, and black leather jacket with extra big pockets that I had sewn my holster into.

Everything had gone right until I pulled out my gun.

It was aimed straight at her chest; all I had to do was pull the trigger and it'd all be over, yet my index finger was frozen as your eyes pierced my soul. You said nothing, but I felt how betrayed you were. It hurt so much I almost wanted to apologize. I couldn't though. I was so close to victory, so close to the glory I had never so much as felt. Without a second thought, I closed my eyes and-

You didn't let me.

You were on top of me with a steak knife to my throat. Your blue eyes were ablaze as obscenities flew from your mouth and tears poured from your eyes. As much I wanted to give up, I couldn't. I flipped around, gracefully as an acrobat and within seconds I was standing with two weapons in my possession and you as you are now. The gun was still loaded; all I had to do was turn around and-

It was your brother's turn to be furious.

A white-hot pain shot through my back like lightning. My entire right side seemed to be ablaze with fire and I screamed a few obscenities myself, cursing him to hell multiple times. How we got to where we are now, I cannot remember. All I remember is shooting in your direction and knocking over the candle that would set the room ablaze. How I managed to drag you outside without being stabbed again or arrested is beyond me. All I know is that we are lying here, rotting in our own filth in a foreign city, without any hope of rescue. Wait! A glimmer of hope appears when I see your eyelids flutter a bit.

You awake.

Your eyes are open. Groggy, yes; but awake. You turn your head and meet my gaze, alarmed. Perhaps you have forgotten our situation?

"Scarlet?" Your voice is barely a whisper

"No, Zack" I reached out my left hand, swollen red finger and all, and held yours. "Red Finger." Tears begin to streak your grimy cheeks as reality smacks you in the face.

"How… could… you?" You manage to say, choking back a sob. "I-I thought Smith was the only bad guy."

"We're all bad guys, Zack" Was my only answer to what you said. The bluntness was because of how close I felt to death, how close I felt to leaving this world and getting what I deserved; Hell. The closer I became, the harder I squeezed your hand. "Zack, I know you may hate me and can't wait for the grim reaper to take me, but can you promise me a couple things?" You hesitate, staring up into the night sky for wisdom until finally; you squeeze back for the first time.

"Anything, Scarlet."

"First, promise me that no matter what life throws at you, you won't become one of us; the villains in life." The look you give me says it all, so I continue. "Second, you're going to live to tell the tale of how you single-handedly stopped the destruction of Tipton Industries to your brother so that he appreciates you for once." You manage to smile at this.

"You got it." It comes out as almost a chuckle, which gives me the courage to ask one more thing of you.

"Finally, you know that firecracker named Jenna that goes to school with you?" You nod, hesitantly. "Protect her with your life, she was my responsibility when her life took a turn for the worst and-" I can't finish the sentence because my strength is almost completely drained.

"Don't worry." You say, trying to get yourself up with two hands. It is after you cry out in pain that I realize where I had shot you. "God, why'd you have to shoot me in my throwing arm?" You moan before trying again, this time using just your right arm and more of your legs, eventually getting to a kneeling position. Your hand still holds mine and you are now looking down at me; stabbed back, and all. "Of course, the one girl I fall for has to be a spy!" You say, extremely lightheartedly compared to the situation we were in. "Either way, I still love you, Scarlet Meridian." My heart flutters inside my chest like a teenage girl's.

"Love you too, Zack Martin." I whisper before my eyelids grow heavy and I finally succumb to what everyone must at one point or another in their lifetime; death.

Tears dripping from my eyes, I fold your arms over your chest and, hesitating more than a little, I walk away from everything you, the smoldering building, and the life I had lived before tonight. It was hard, letting you go, but I needed to go home to a life I'd be living. It'd be hard; knowing everything you'd told me, and more, but I'd live. Leaning against a building in the opposite direction of the burning restaurant and called my brother using my cell phone that had suffered from only a cracked screen, and waited for him to answer.

"Hello?"

"Hey bro, can you pick me up?" I asked to which a bunch of bumbling "Holy crap your alive?"'s from various people followed to my extreme annoyance. "Shut up!" I yelled into the phone.

"Zack, what's wrong?" Bailey asked, silencing my brother.

"Nothing." I said. "I just witnessed the death of a girl I loved, and my shoulder hurts like shit; pick me up and take me to a hospital or I will shoot myself in the chest with her own damn gun!" I yell at the top of my lungs. It is then that my chest explodes into an uncontrollable coughing fit that engulfs me like fire just second. Every breath is like I am regurgitating a bonfire and for a few brief moments I wonder if I'm going to join you, wherever you are, Red Finger.

When there is finally a break in the madness, I scream as even more pain streaks across every nerve ending in my body. At this time my only wish is that it would finally just be over already.

Visions of everyone I have ever known flash before my eyes mere seconds later and, as if I had wished upon a shooting star, I am swallowed by complete and utter darkness.

**The End**

* * *

**Notes on Pairing:**

**Red Finger** is the cliché female spy from** 'The Spy Who Shoved Me'** episode of the second season of _SLOD_ who ends up hooking up with James Smith (also known as Smith, Smitty, or J-Dog) at the end.

**Zack Martin** is one of the main characters of both_ SLOD_ and _SLOZAC_ who is the typical "guy's guy" who can be gullible (when it comes to girls, at least), cocky, and at times, rather endearing as a character who has, and always will be, one of my favorite television characters of all time.


	32. James Doyle V

**Whatever Happened to Serge?**

By

James Doyle

**April 2005:**

Having been publicly humiliated by Carey Martin and the incubi that passed for her twin sons Zack and Cody, Serge felt he could no longer fill his post as concierge of the Boston Tipton with dignity. As such, he requested, and was granted, a transfer. After spending a few weeks training Irene, his quiet, red-headed replacement, he moved on to his new assignment as Assistant Manager in charge of Facilities aboard the newly-christened S.S. Tipton.

A few days before the Tipton's maiden voyage, Serge boarded the ship along with the rest of the senior staff. After settling into his modest-but-comfortable cabin, he proceeded to his scheduled one-on-one meeting with Miss Klotz, the Cruise Director. As he entered Klotz's office, Serge wasn't quite sure what to make of his new boss. The years had obviously not been kind to her, yet she had a certain inexplicable charm.

"Good morning," greeted Klotz, extending her hand. "You must be Serge."

"Pleasure to meet you, ma'am," replied Serge, accepting her handshake.

At that moment, something about the woman bothered Serge. Something about her smile, her handshake, and yea, her entire demeanor seemed forced and unnatural. He immediately began to wonder what exactly she was hiding beneath the mask she wore for the guests and employees.

"Let's get down to business," began Klotz as she signaled for Serge to take a seat, sitting down herself. "I should hope I won't have to discuss your responsibilities in any great detail."

"Oh, let me see," recounted Serge. "I coordinate with the Activities Director to ensure availability and usability of rooms. I handle guest complaints about facilities and coordinate with Haggis and his boys to address them. I oversee the janitorial staff. Basically, I'm a glorified traffic-cop."

Klotz grinned. "I see we understand each other perfectly."

Klotz stood up and turned around, removed a thick binder from her shelf, and slammed the heavy object down upon the desk, startling Serge.

"These are the appropriate human resources files," stated Klotz. "I expect you to complete a duty roster in time for the staff meeting you're conducting tomorrow."

Serge rolled his eyes. "Yes, ma'am."

"Excellent," approved Klotz. "I think you and I will get along swimmingly."

Serge managed absolutely zero sleep that night, but managed to complete the duty roster as asked. Once all of his people were in place, and the ship had set sail, however, he found he didn't really mind his job at all. In fact, he found it quite a thrill to visit exotic ports-of-call around the world, most of which teemed with beautiful women. There remained, however, one thing about his job, or rather, one person, whom he found positively insufferable.

Miss Klotz. It seemed as though wherever he went, and whatever he did, he could always find the scratchy-voiced bleach-blonde looking over his shoulder, always with her hands folded, head cocked, and grinning from ear to ear when he spotted her. It wasn't that she was overbearing. Indeed, she seldom had anything to say other than a small point of constructive criticism from time to time. Nay, her creepiness lie in the fact that she was always just...there.

One evening, Serge had grown especially weary of Klotz's eagle eyes constantly upon him. He waited until he was sure she'd gone to bed, then set out for a stroll around the ship. The frosty air of the North Pacific notwithstanding, Serge found the quiet, moonlit upper decks quite peaceful. If he'd had a woman in his life, he'd have found it quite romantic.

And thus, he began thinking about the tall, curvaceous beauty, with the voice of an angel, that was Carey Martin. If only he'd been honest with her, rather than trying to take credit for Arwin's poetry, perhaps something could have happened between them. He could've even learned to love the twins. Alas, he would never know, and he would regret screwing up his one chance with her for the rest of his life.

On that sentiment, Serge had had enough quiet introspection, and decided to head back to bed. As he made his way below decks, he passed one of the security stations, where Kirby, a member of Tipton Security (a force larger than the armies of most countries) monitored the surveillance cameras around the ship.

"Hey Serge," called Kirby as he observed Serge walking past.

"Oh, hi Kirby," said Serge, as he turned aside to greet the husky black fellow.

"Whatcha up to?" inquired Kirby.

"Oh, just out for a walk," answered Serge. "You?"

"Work," grumbled Kirby. "It never ends. I just hope I'm not doing this forever."

"You and me both," agreed Serge.

At that moment, Serge observed a picture of Wilfred Tipton...that is, of the top of his head and his cadre of bodyguards...sitting atop Kirby's monitor.

"What's with the picture?" asked Serge.

"That, my friend, is Wilfred Tipton," Kirby answered proudly. "The head of our company, a genius, and a visionary. I hope someday to be a part of his personal security force. I would take a bullet for that man."

"Okay, then," responded Serge. More than a little creeped out, he decided to change the subject. "This is quite a rig you've got here."

"Dang skippy it is," Kirby responded proudly. "Over twelve hundred 720p resolution cameras connected by fiber-optic lines to five redundant security servers recording at sixty-four frames per second twenty-four hours a day. She's a beauty."

Serge nodded, impressed, yet unsettled. As he explored the rig, he noticed that some of the fiber optic lines did not terminate at control board, but rather continued out of the room via one of the side walls.

"Where do these go?" asked Serge, pointing out the extraneous leads.

"Those feeds are from highly-sensitive areas," explained Kirby. "Only Miss Klotz has access."

At that moment, Serge felt a certain paranoia-induced nausea welling up in his stomach.

"If you'll excuse me, I need to grab some rack time," announced Serge has he made his exit.

"Okay," replied Kirby. "Good night."

"Good night," echoed Serge from the hallway as he ran off.

On his way to Miss Klotz's office, Serge returned to his cabin to pick something up that he'd had to presence of mind to pocket last time he'd been in the Martin suite. Young Cody Martin was quite the computer wiz, and had programmed a key card that would open any door on any Tipton property in the world. Serge had never intended to use it unless he absolutely had to, and he now believed the moment was upon him.

Much to his relief, the key card opened Klotz's office door without complaint, and disarmed the alarm. He produced a small USB stick from his pocket, containing a small Linux distribution that he used for making unauthorized personal use of company computers, powered down Klotz's computer, plugged in the stick, and booted it up again, hoping that she hadn't encrypted the hard drive.

As luck would have it, she hadn't. Being careful to cover his own tracks, he found the incoming feed from Klotz's office and replaced it with looping footage from the last three hours. Once he'd done that, he searched the hard drive until he found Klotz's personal collection. In addition to adult materials that only a top-level manager could get away with keeping on her hard drive, Serge found copious amounts of footage of himself.

Serge couldn't believe his eyes. Even when Klotz wasn't personally looking over his shoulder, she was still watching his every move. Sleeping, working out, showering. It was all there. The most disturbing thing, which caused the vomit to catch in Serge's throat, was the footage of Klotz herself that she'd managed to edit into some of it.

"Well, well, well," Klotz said playfully as she entered the room. "Somebody's a little busybody."

"Miss Klotz!" exclaimed Serge. "How the hell did you find me?"

Klotz snorted. "Please, do you really think I'm that stupid? I monitor everything that goes on with office computer from my laptop."

"You won't get away with this, you psychotic bitch," declared Serge. "I'm going to make sure this gets to the proper authorities. Once you're done rotting in jail, you'll never work for a reputable company again."

Klotz smiled sheepishly as she tapped the button on a small remote. Sparks and smoke emanated from the computer, and the smell of ozone filled the room.

"Darn it, that's the third computer this year," mock-cursed Klotz. "They really should build these things more reliably."

Serge sweat bullets as Klotz approached him, pinning him against the back wall.

"The way I see it," continued Klotz. "Any leverage you think you may have had fried with that computer." She put her arms around Serge's neck and drew her face close to his. "So as they say, what happens in this office, stays in this office."

Serge gulped. Klotz had him for breaking into his office, and as to the illegally obtained images of him, it was his word against hers.

"Well," whimpered Serge. "I guess you have me over a barrel."

"Ooh, that sounds kinky," purred Klotz. "I like it."

Serge saw no other escape than to play the woman's game, at least for the time being. He didn't resist as she kissed him, and put on his best performance to date when she ravaged him that night.

Boston

**One month later**

"Zack, come take a look at this," urged Cody as he read the latest edition of the Boston Globe.

"What could I possibly find interesting in a newspaper?" protested Zack.

"Just look at it," prodded Cody.

"Okay, okay," conceded Zack, reading the article that Cody pointed out. "Wow, cool!"

"Cool?" admonished Cody. "That's not cool; it's inhuman."

"What's inhuman?" asked Carey Martin as she emerged from the bathroom.

"Mom, do you remember Serge the Concierge?"

Carey scowled. "Enough to wish I didn't."

"You may want to take a look at this," urged Cody, handing the newspaper to his mother.

"Oh, gosh!" reviled Carey as she threw down the newspaper and bolted back into the bathroom to wretch her guts out.

Even though Carey had been extremely offended and hurt by Serge's manipulative, deceitful behavior, she nonetheless found herself deeply disturbed by the news that, after having gone missing for two days, his mangled and contorted body had been found wrapped around the port screw of the S.S. Tipton.

**The End**

**

* * *

  
**

This is a collection for all kinds of relationship stories, so I thought it could use a sordid, gruesome tale of psychotic obsession.

**Serge the Concierge,** played by **_Brian McNamara_**, appeared in the early _SLOZAC_ episode **_"The Prince and the Plunger,"_** a self-absorbed jerk who manipulated and deceived Carey Martin into going out with him by passing off Arwin's secret admirer gifts and poetry as his own. He was never seen nor heard from again, and since Irene was the concierge for most of the series, it's reasonable to assume he left that post.

**Miss Klotz**, played by **_Nicole Sullivan_**, best-known for her work on the sketch comedy series Mad TV, and to long-time Disney Channel viewers as the voice of Shego in the animated series Kim Possible, was Moseby's predecessor as Cruise Director of the S.S. Tipton, appearing in the transition episode **_"Let Us Entertain You"._** She maintains a thin veneer of professional cordiality that she quickly drops whenever someone annoys her or challenges her authority, and is known to have been widowed four times. One can imagine what became of the poor bastards.

**_Thanks for reading!_**


	33. Silver Turtle VI

**One Door Closes and a Window Opens**

By SilverTurtle

Rating: T

**************

Barbara was in a club.

She was alone.

Again.

Her ex-boyfriend Bob had ditched her for the last time.

They were supposed to have been on a date hours ago and he had blown her off. She had tried calling him, dozens of times actually, but nothing. He wasn't answering. That was unacceptable. She had gone to his apartment, letting herself in with the spare key kept above the door. What she had found had ended their relationship for good.

Bob.

With another woman.

Right there, on the couch.

They hadn't even had the decency to make it to the bedroom. The look of shock on his face when he turned his head and saw Barbara was something she would never forget, something she could never forget, right along with the image of her boyfriend screwing some other girl.

She'd been furious, and rightly so. He had tried to talk himself out of their break-up, saying his passion was as fiery as his hair and he needed a release for it all, but she hadn't listened to his excuses. The girl he'd been with, her she listened to, because she said they'd been dating for months.

Months.

Bob had been cheating on her for months and she hadn't known.

Thinking back she'd recalled each time he had canceled a date at the last minute and realized almost every time she had heard a female voice in the background.

She'd been duped.

Deceived.

Fooled.

Played.

Betrayed.

She had dumped him and left, hurt beyond belief and still so angry. At Bob, at the girl, at herself. Bob because he'd cheated, the girl because she'd helped him, and herself for being tricked this way. She'd always thought that if ever she were cheated on, she would have known immediately. She should have been able to tell. But that's not what had happened. She had been betrayed, for months, by a man she'd loved and thought would never do this to her. She hadn't known a thing. She had been blind, and ignorant, and she hated herself for feeling so stupid.

She had wandered aimlessly through Boston, lost in her thoughts. When she'd happened upon a club advertising Ladies' Night and free drinks, she had decided that perhaps getting trashed was exactly what she needed right then.

So here she sat in the club.

Alone but for her empty glasses and the worried eyes of the bartender.

"You're face is longer than Lincoln's hat was tall," the bartender, a young woman about Barbara's age, laid sympathetic eyes on her, "You wanna talk about it?"

Barbara, who up until this point hadn't known she wanted to talk so badly, found herself pouring out her whole sorry tale to the startled blonde. The drink-slinger listened attentively, nodding in all the right places, and expressing some disgust on Barbara's behalf when she heard what Bob had said to explain.

"Sounds like you could use another one of these," she said when Barbara was finished and poured her another shot, Barbara's fourth of the night.

"Thanks." Barbara accepted the shot and slammed it back, relishing the burn of the alcohol all the way down her throat. "And thanks for listening…uhm, I don't even know your name."

"Capri. And you're welcome, Barbara. Listening is pretty much what I'm paid for."

"How did you know my name?"

"I had to check your ID before I served you." She flashed Barbara a brilliant smile and poured her another drink, something fruity this time that Barbara took her time enjoying.

Barbara spent a long time at the bar, drinking and chatting with Capri.

So long, in fact, that she closed the bar. She hadn't realized she'd stayed so long, but she couldn't regret it. She'd made a friend tonight, and after losing Bob, a friend was exactly what she needed.

"Come on," Capri said helping Barbara to her feet, "I'll drive you home."

Barbara accepted the offer and they were on their way.

When they reached her apartment building Capri said, "Let me walk you up. Wouldn't want you passing out halfway there."

Knowing she was drunk enough for that to be an actual danger she gratefully leaned on Capri's arm and navigated her way up several flights of stairs and down a long hallway until she reached her door.

"This is me," she said, fishing out her keys and attempting to fit one in the lock unsuccessfully.

Capri laughed a little and gently took the keys, "Here." In moments she had the door open and had maneuvered Barbara so she was standing inside while she remained in the hallway, "Take this, if you ever want to talk." A business card was handed over, with a personal number and email address written on the back.

With that done, Capri moved to leave but Barbara grabbed her hand. "Capri?"

Capri turned back, "Yes?"

Feeling emboldened by the alcohol Barbara leaned over and kissed Capri's cheek, then whispered "thank you" in her ear and pulled away.

Capri was blushing bright red but was smiling when she said, "You're welcome," and disappeared down the hall.

Barbara closed and locked her door then leaned back against it, smiling for the first time in what felt like years.

She felt a buzzing from her purse.

Her cell phone.

She pulled it out and checked the messages and texts.

They were all from Bob.

She deleted them without a care and programmed Capri's number in.

**************

**THE END

* * *

**

**Notes on the Pairing:**

** Barbara Brownstein** was Cody's girlfriend in _The Suite Life of Zack and Cody_, but left him for Bob in a strange move in the episode **"Flowers and Chocolate" **of _The Suite Life on Deck_. She is played by **Sophie Oda**.

**Capri** was the girl Zack set up a fake beauty pageant for in the episode **"The Beauty and the Fleeced"** on _The Suite Life on Deck_ in order to woo her. For her talent portion of the competition she dressed as Abe Lincoln and tried to recite the Gettysburg Address while jump-roping. She is played by **Brittany Ross.**


	34. Snapplelinz V

**Inspector On The Loose**

**By Snapplelinz**

"Nein."

"Geez, what now?!" Jerry Russo exclaimed rudely, feeling thoroughly worn out at this point.

"Dere iz a kakerlak on ze kitchen floor!" Ilsa Shickelgrubermeiger-Von Helsing der Keppelugerhofer declared vehemently.

"A what?!" Jerry asked blankly.

"Kakerlak! Aargh…a cockroach!" Ilsa elaborated while pointing a pale finger at the object in question, which lay just in front of the oven.

Jerry bent down and picked it up, much to Ilsa's displeasure.

"Ms. Shickelgruber…uh, this isn't a cockroach. This is my Son's school project." Jerry explained patiently.

"Your son's school project iz a kakerlak?!" Ilsa asked aghast.

"Yes, well no. My son, Max, made it for 'Show And Tell' as a hobby of his." Jerry responded uncertainly.

"De kakerlak is a hobby of his?!" Ilsa asked disparagingly.

"Well, sometimes he likes to talk to cockroaches because he thinks there's a common language between humans and insects…"

Instead of hearing the rest of Jerry's explanation, Ilsa decided to busy herself with inspecting the plumbing system in the kitchen. Jerry watched her at work and sighed inwardly. Of all the health inspectors in the city that had to come evaluate the 'Waverly Substation', it had to be the kookiest one. Why Theresa had to pick this week to go visit her mother, Jerry would never understand. He congratulated himself on having the foresight to tell the kids to make themselves scarce for the day to preserve their own sanity.

For Ilsa's part, this wasn't even her regular job. She had been taking a well-deserved vacation in New York away from her managerial duties at the Saint Mark Hotel in Boston when an old colleague of hers from the Department of Health had called and asked her for a favor. The health inspector who was supposed to have evaluated the 'Waverly Substation' had developed an unusual viral infection from inspecting a taco stand in downtown Manhattan and had ended up being quarantined as a result. Knowing that Ilsa was currently vacationing in New York, this former colleague of hers had asked if she wouldn't mind evaluating this particular restaurant, knowing full well of her skills and her ferocity. Ilsa idly wondered why she had to be evaluating a restaurant that served sandwiches and not a restaurant that served Schnitzel, her favourite dish that reminded her of home.

"Ze pipes are fine," Ilsa concluded frankly after scribbling something onto her clipboard.

"Great," Jerry mumbled sardonically.

"I want to inspect ze dining area now," Ilsa stated abruptly.

"Sure. Right this way," Jerry responded promptly.

He opened the swinging door of the kitchen and Ilsa swept past him as he held the door open for her. With one final eye roll, Jerry followed her into the main area of the restaurant. Ilsa began a thorough inspection, even going so far as to retrieve an infrared detector from her briefcase as she checked for stains on the various tables and booths. Every now and then, Jerry caught what sounded like German phrases being emitted from Ilsa as she crawled underneath chairs and tables. Judging from the guttural syllables, Jerry surmised that they weren't polite phrases.

Whatever her deal was, Jerry guessed that this woman was used to getting her own way. He thought it was a pity, considering that he didn't think she was bad to look at. Aside from that extremely hairy mole (which she seemed to know nothing of when asked about it) on the side of her face, her frigid attire and the way she had tied her blonde hair into a tight bun, Ilsa was actually quite attractive when he thought it over. It was a good thing that Ilsa was a battleaxe then. And that he was happily married too.

With a sigh, Jerry moved towards the TV located behind the cashier counter and switched it on. To his disappointment, he realized that he had already missed the highlights of the NFL semi-final. However, he found that ESPN was showing re-runs of 'Giddy Up Cowboy', a mechanical bull tournament that he enjoyed watching occasionally. He became so immersed in the action that he forgot that Ilsa was still inspecting the restaurant.

"Oh come on, man!" Jerry exclaimed in annoyance as the rider on the TV fell off the mechanical bull with a loud crash.

He nearly jumped out of his skin when he realised that Ilsa was standing right behind him, wearing an angry expression on her face.

"Uh, I was just uh…" Jerry stammered weakly, bracing himself for the onslaught.

"Dummkopf! You're supposed to bend your knees while you grip ze sides! Den you wouldn't have fallen off!" Ilsa spat furiously.

Jerry was about to make a retort when he shifted his head to look at the TV screen again. Just as he suspected, they were showing highlights of the latest rider's movements in slow motion, illustrating how his lack of appropriate balance had caused him to fall. Ilsa was quite correct in surmising that his poor posture had nearly resulted in his injury.

"You watch 'Giddy Up Cowboy' too?" Jerry asked in awe of the frigid health inspector.

"Ja, but only when I cannot watch ze court TV. Dat 'Cowpoke Clint' couldn't ride a tricycle let alone a mechanical bull." Ilsa retorted disparagingly, referring to the rider who had just fallen.

"That's exactly what I said! What are the odds?" Jerry asked with a wide smile on his face at the instant familiarity that he felt around her.

"Indeed," Ilsa replied simply with a small smile playing on her lips.

Something about the way that Ilsa had just insulted 'Cowpoke Clint' stirred something deep inside of Jerry. Before he could stop himself, Jerry had moved right into Ilsa's personal space and kissed her with sudden intensity. While keeping one hand on her waist, he guided her till her back hit the metal counter with a loud thud. When he finally pulled away, Ilsa had a quizzical expression on her face.

"Vat do you zink you are doing?" Ilsa asked in a scandalized tone.

"I believe that 'Jericho Jerry' just laid one on you, pretty lady." Jerry remarked with a low southern drawl.

"Who eez 'Jericho Jerry'?" Ilsa asked in confusion while trying to get her breath back.

"I'm 'Jericho Jerry'. They call me 'Jericho' because I'll blow all your walls right down." Jerry offered tantalizingly as his lips trailed just underneath Ilsa's ear.

He reached behind her head and unclasped her hair pin, causing her blonde hair to cascade over her shoulders.

"Well in zat case, you can call me 'Bronco Betty' because I am a wild one," Ilsa purred demurely.

"Yes ma'am," Jerry agreed readily as she leant forward and kissed him ferociously.

Her tongue found its way into his mouth as her body melded into his while her hands snaked through his golden hair.

"Herr Russo," Ilsa purred saucily as Jerry gripped her thigh possessively.

He hitched it around his waist while he kissed her neck with measured movements.

"Herr Russo…"

"HERR RUSSO!"

"What?!" Jerry exclaimed in fright.

"I have been calling your name for ze past minute! Vat are you doing?!" Ilsa demanded impatiently with her hands on her hips.

Jerry glanced around him at his surroundings and realized that he had completely zoned out on what Ilsa had been saying about 'Giddy Up Cowboy'. Which meant that he had just been fantasizing about a woman that clearly wasn't his wife.

"I'm very sorry, Miss. Shickelgrubermeiger. What were you saying?" Jerry asked apologetically.

"Nevermind. Come, I must now inspect your refrigeration system. Lead ze way!" Ilsa commanded in a ringing tome.

"The refrigeration system? But there's nothing wrong with-" Jerry protested before Ilsa interrupted him.

"No argument! I am ze health inspector and you are the nincompoop who owns a sandwich shop when you should be selling Schnitzel. Vun more word out of you and I will set Blitzkrieg on you!" Ilsa interjected in a no-nonsense tone.

"Yes ma'am." Jerry answered weakly, remembering her mangy mutt that had to be left upstairs in his apartment after it tried to rip his leg right off of him at the beginning of her inspection.

He began slouching forward as Ilsa marched after him, her arms swinging vigorously at her sides.

"Left, left, left, LEFT!"

**The End**

**

* * *

  
**

**Notes On The Pairing:**

**Ilsa Shickelgrubermeiger-Von Helsing der Keppelugerhofer **(played by **Caroline Rhea**) is the mean-spirited hotel inspector turned rival hotel manager of the Saint Mark Hotel across the street from the Boston Tipton. She first appeared in _SLOZAC _in the season 1 episode **"Hotel Inspector"** and is most renowned for the hideous black mole on her cheek, which she denies having any knowledge of. She has also appeared in other notable _SLOZAC _episodes such as **"Cookin' With Romeo And Juliet"** and **"Bowling"**.

**Jerry Russo **(played by **David DeLuise**) is a retired wizard and the father of Alex, Justin and Max from the Disney show, **"Wizards of Waverly Place"**. His first and only appearance thus far in the Suite Life franchise was in the _SLOD_ cross-over episode **"Cast Away [To Another Show]"** in conjunction with **"Hannah Montana"**, which forms part of the_ SLOD _**"Double-Crossed"** three-part special.

* * *

**List of German phrases used in this story:**

**Nein = No**

**Kakerlak = Cockroach**

**Dummkopf = Idiot**

**Ja = Yes**

**Herr = Mister**


	35. purplewowies

**A/N:** This story takes place in the same storyline/universe as my Sugar Baby story, although you don't need to have read that for this to make sense. I just added in something that would only have happened had the events in Sugar Baby occurred.

* * *

**My Banana Fofana**

A Suite Life Strange Love Fanfic

By purplewowies

As I board the ship, I hear someone singing a song that seems oddly familiar.

"Retainer baby, retainer baby! I require that wire!" The singing sounds like it's coming from a place I identify on my map as the Sky Deck. I want to check out this mysterious singer, but by the time I get there, the singing is gone.

Wow, that song sounded so lame, I think, but I can't get it out of my head. "Retainer baby, retainer baby..." Who sang that?

I hadn't come on this cruise ship to find a mysterious person singing a mysterious (not to mention weird) song. I'm thirsty, so I wander over to the counter on the other side of the deck, a place called Easy Squeezy. That's got to be the stupidest name for a smoothie shop I've ever heard.

"So, what would you like?" the boy behind the counter asks as he turns around.

"Zack?" He takes a couple seconds to recognize me.

"Vanessa? I haven't seen you since middle school. What's new?"

"I got accepted to Seven Seas High. What's new with you?"

"Well, let's see. Since the last time I saw you, I got diabetes, I got into this school, I got a job, and I'm rooming with a rejected rapper. But my love for you is an old flame that still burns like the first day I saw you."

"Stop with the lame pickup lines, I'm still not going to date you. Banana Fofana, please."

"Banana Fofana's too strong for you. You'll get addicted," he says. "Actually, I'm surprised they haven't taken it off the menu, it's so strong."

"Okay, fine. What about an everything smoothie?"

"Naw, it'll give you a slush rush. Besides, we don't have enough fruit for that."

"Then what CAN I have?" I say through my teeth.

"Hmm. You could have a Seaweed Smoothie with a Broccoli Boost or a Prune Whiz. We're kinda running low on fruits. Well, actually, on everything."

"You know what? Just give me the Banana Fofana so I can go somewhere fun!"

"Fine. But don't come crying to me if the power of the smoothie overwhelms you."

"Trust me, it won't and I won't."

I turn around while I wait for my smoothie and a now-familiar sound greets my ears.

"Retainer baby! Retainer baby!"

I look around. That's when it hits me. Lil' Little. I LOVED him! I slept on him every night!

I run up to Lil' Little as soon as I see him in the middle of the Sky Deck with London Tipton.

"Oh my gosh, you're Lil' Little! I LOVE you!!!!"

"Umm, I was kinda talking with a friend. Can you please leave me alone?"

"But I've always dreamed of going on a date with you! Will you go out with me? Pleeaaase?"

"I'm sorry, I don't 'go out' with crazed fans."

"BUT-"

"LOOK! I've never met you before, you're a crazed fan, and I don't want to go out with you! Please, LEAVE ME ALONE!"

I turn around, heartbroken, and walk away. I hear him and London talking. They've started to sound lovey-dovey. That's when she says it.

"Of course, my little retainer baby!"

I slump into one of the many chairs on the deck. As they walk by, I slouch down farther and start to cry.

Zack heard the entire thing. He takes one look at me and comes out from behind the counter. He brings me a towel and walks back to his post behind the counter. I wipe my eyes with the towel, then set it on the table to use as a pillow for my now-aching head.

Zack starts looking for something under the counter. Suddenly, he stands up and leans on the counter, looking down. He just stands there for a second, appearing to be trying to keep his balance, then he reaches into his pocket and pulls out something. He pricks his finger and puts the blood on what looks like a piece of paper in the device. He waits a couple of seconds, then pulls out a couple of pieces of hard candy and plops them in his mouth.

We sit there staring at each other, and I feel myself cheering up a little. For the next 15 minutes, we don't take our eyes off of each other until he takes out the device (which I can now tell is a blood sugar meter) and checks himself again. After he's done this, he goes back to looking through the entire bar for another ten minutes until he finds what he's been looking for. The blender finally turns on and a minute later, Zack is walking towards me with a cup.

"Since when does it take 30 minutes to make ONE smoothie?"

"I told you we were low on everything. Heck, even I was low. I spent a total of fifteen minutes looking for the last banana in the entire smoothie bar just for you."

"You spent fifteen minutes staring at me."

"I didn't have anything better to do."

"You could've been looking for the banana."

"And risk you never getting the smoothie because the infirmary would've had to come pick me up? No, thank you."

"Really?"

"Yes, really. Besides, looking at you is a whole lot more fun than looking for a banana. Now drink your smoothie."

He smiles at me, and I make an almost-smile back. I take a sip of the smoothie. Oh my goodness, Zack made this? It's delicious! I'm already addicted! And not just to the smoothie, either, if you catch my drift. I smile at him as I drink the entire thing in less than a minute.

"So... did you like it?" he asks, half sarcastic, half serious.

I don't know what to say. "Zack," I begin, "I'm really sorry about how I treated you earlier. I didn't deserve to be treated so nicely after how I treated you."

"I saw how Marcus treated you, and trust me, you deserved the way I treated you."

"I guess I let my fangirl-ness cloud my judgement. We would've never worked out; he was just a celebrity crush and I was just a starstruck loser."

"You're not a loser." He looks into my eyes, and I look into his.

"Zack, I had no idea you were so nice. I thought you were just a player. But…" I think before finishing the sentence. "I think I really like you. And I really can't resist a guy that makes such good smoothies."

He smiles. "Does that mean you'll go out with me?"

"Maybe. Will you make me another smoothie? I don't care if it takes an hour this time."

"Of course, my Banana Fofana."

**The End**

* * *

**My assigned pair:**

**Marcus**- the rapper that rooms with Zack. His record label dumped him, so now he goes to school at Seven Seas High. He is portrayed by **Doc Shaw**, who has also starred in Tyler Perry's House of Payne as Malik Payne.

**Vanessa**- the love interest of Zack in A Midsummer's Nightmare. Zack liked her, and she liked Cody. In the play in that episode, she had the part of Helena. She is portrayed by **Gage Golightly**, who is currently starring as Hayley Steele, one of the main characters in Nickelodeon's The Troop.

**Other characters:**

**London**- stupid heiress of the Tipton Industries empire. She is portrayed by** Brenda Song.**

**Zack**- if you don't know who Zack is, there's probably something wrong with you. He is portrayed by **Dylan Sprouse.**

This originally started out as a Marcus/Vanessa story, but I realized I liked Zack/Vanessa more. I really think my writing sucked in this, but I always think that about my own stories. Thanks for reading and hope you enjoyed it!


	36. James Doyle VI

**Old Enough to Love You**

By

James Doyle

My love life has always been interesting, to say the least. Going to school on a cruise ship, I've dated all kinds of girls from all kinds of places and all walks of life. I even got to go on a date with London Tipton once. She turned out to be too vapid and shallow to ever consider pursuing long-term, but it'll be a cool story to tell my kids.

Sadly, that got me thinking that even though I'd dated lots of girls, it had mainly been just for fun. The truth was, there were only ever two women I'd ever pictured myself going the distance with. The first of these was Bailey Pickett. Incredibly smart, breathtakingly beautiful, and full of folksy wisdom and amusing anecdotes on every subject, she was the full package.

Unfortunately, it had been Cody Martin who had won her heart. After that, my opinion of her went straight down the toilet. I know what you're thinking: Sour grapes Holden, being a sore loser in the contest for Bailey's heart. I respectfully submit that wasn't the case at all.

As it turned out, Cody and Bailey brought out the worst in one another. Bailey wanted to wear the pants in the relationship, always be right, and be the smartest and the best at everything. Cody wasn't any better, not considering underhanded schemes like injuring Bailey to cover for missing a writing assignment beneath him. After they broke up, I really didn't want a second chance with Bailey, and was glad when she decided to leave the program. It was actually pretty cool to have the old Cody back, and I started hanging out with him and Zack a lot more.

There were a lot of good things about being friends with the Martin boys, but the fact that they planned the coolest parties was definitely among the top ten. Given that, I was more than happy to leave the planning of my eighteenth birthday shindig in their capable hands. I had no idea what they were planning, and I didn't want to know, preferring to leave it a surprise.

It was a good thing Zack and Cody had my party well in hand, because our Director of Funtertainment® had been out of commission for almost a week. Which brings me to the second woman I'd thought about pursuing long-term. Even though she was at least ten years older than me, Connie's beauty, sense of humor, and enthusiasm for life had always captivated me. I never told anyone about my interest in her, since they'd probably just laugh and tell me it was just a fantasy.

What made me sad and angry was Connie's abysmal taste in men: Sad for her, and angry at them. For some reason, she'd always fall for pretty-boy punks who were only interested in getting her into bed, and no longer had any use for her when it turned out they couldn't appreciate her for the wonderfully-unique person she was. Crazy as it sounded, I knew that if I could get a chance with her, I would show her just how precious she really was.

The big night came, and as the twins instructed me, I donned my best coat and tie, and fixed my hair up just right. After I finished, I made my way to the girls' dorms, where I picked up Capri, a petite blonde with whom I'd gone out once before. She had the IQ of a fire hydrant, and being escorted to the party by me was purely a symbolic gesture.

We arrived in the ballroom, to find the place lavishly decorated, and the guests as pimped-out as I was. As soon as we entered, the lights went down, and a spotlight shone on us.

"Ladies and gentlemen," announced Marcus Little, the Master of Ceremonies, "Please welcome our Guest of Honor, Mr. Holden Williams."

The guests applauded, and began chanting for me to make a speech. Reluctantly, I got up on stage and took the microphone.

"Well, this is certainly a surprise," I began. "Gosh, I wish I had something prepared. All I really have to say is I'd like to thank all of you, and especially Zack and Cody, for making this party just one part of the most memorable years of my life, that is, my time at Seven Seas High."

With that, the crowd applauded. I handed the microphone back to Marcus and headed back for the dance floor. The band started to play, with Marcus on lead vocals, with backup dancers to boot. Throughout the night, we danced, ate, drank, and made merry. Everyone seemed to be having the time of their lives. Everyone, that is, except a certain redhead, sitting by herself in the corner.

"Hi, there," I greeted.

"Hello," she said, not looking up.

"I wasn't expecting you."

"Well, as the Director of Funtertainment®," she explained, not even bothering with her trademark salute, "I have to be here. Believe me, I'd rather not."

"Why don't you come dance with me?" I offered.

"That's okay," she initially declined. "You don't have to. I do appreciate your trying to make me feel better."

"No, I really want to," I insisted. "I've wanted to for a long time."

"You're just saying that," she accused.

"No, I'm not," I defended. "Please, come dance with me."

Finally, she looked up at me with her gorgeous brown eyes, allowing me to take her by the hand and lead her out onto the dance floor.

As the birthday boy, a number of a girls wanted to dance with me. There was only one woman I wanted to dance with that night, but I couldn't refuse the others. I watched from the floor as Connie shuffled back over to her corner.

Several hours later, the party had concluded, and we left the housekeeping staff to clean up as Zack, Cody, Marcus, Woody, and I lounged on the Sky Deck, puffing on fat Cuban stogies.

"You know, I could really get used to this," I commented before drawing in a puff of smoke, holding it in my mouth, then blowing it out slowly.

"Yeah, these are awesome," agreed Woody, who took a long drag, which sent him into a coughing fit.

"Oh, man, are you okay?" I asked, patting Woody on the back as he coughed.

"Yeah, I think so," he croaked.

"You do know you're not supposed to inhale, don't you?" admonished Marcus.

"Now you tell me!" grumbled Woody.

"Guys, this is a great way to wind down the evening," I complimented.

"Much as I'd like to take credit for this," admitted Zack. "The cigars were Cody's idea."

"I should've known," I said. As much of a dork as Cody could be, his taste in the finer things had always been impeccable.

Just then, I caught sight of a certain someone out of the corner of my eye, and my grin turned to a frown.

"Dude, what's eatin' ya?" asked Zack.

"Nothing," I lied.

"Come on," prodded Cody. "Clearly something's bothering you."

"Forget it," I deflected. "It's stupid."

"I listen to Zack's problems all the time," argued Cody. "Believe me, I can handle stupid."

That remark earned Cody a punch in the arm from his brother.

"All right, here goes," I capitulated. "I really wish Connie wasn't so sad."

Zack groaned. "Wish in one and and spit in the other, dude. Connie's hopeless."

"Hey, don't talk about her that way!" I reacted.

"Whoa, dude!" said Cody. "If I didn't know better, I'd say you liked her."

"Well, maybe I do," I admitted.

"You're into Connie?" Marcus asked redundantly. "Man, you know how to pick 'em!"

"What's not to like?" I argued. "She's beautiful, intelligent, funny, full of energy."

"And completely nuts," added Woody.

"She not nuts," I continued. "She just needs a guy who really gets her, instead of those putzes she's always dating."

"So why not you?" suggested Cody.

"What?" I reacted, totally not expecting that.

"If you really think she's your type, make your move," recommended Zack.

"For once, I'm in complete agreement with my brother," added Cody.

"That's crazy talk," I dismissed. "Even if she were interested, I'm way too young for her."

"Hello?" chided Zack. "Dude, you're eighteen. Old enough to vote, old enough buy a lottery ticket, old enough fight and die for your country, and old enough to hook up with any consenting adult you want."

"Just being one day over some arbitrary line won't make Connie interested in me," I argued.

"Maybe not," granted Cody. "But she can't fault you for asking, either."

I took one last long puff on my cigar, letting the taste of Cuban soil make me feel like a man for the first time in my life.

"All right, boys," I declared as I got up. "I'm going in."

"Let us know how it goes," requested Cody.

"Yeah, and take pictures," added Zack, followed by an "ouch" which I knew to be from Cody returning his earlier punch.

I walked over to Connie, who leaned against the rail and stared off into the black nothingness of the sea.

"Hello, again," I greeted, taking a spot next to her.

"Hello there..." she greeted. "I'm sorry, what was your name again?"

"It's Holden," I said, chuckling lightly, realizing that someone who oversaw as many parties as she did couldn't reasonably be expected to remember all of her guests of honors' names.

"Like Holden Caulfield?" observed Connie. I got that all the time, but from her, I didn't mind.

"Yeah, The Catcher in the Rye is my mom's favorite book," I explained.

"I never cared for it," admitted Connie.

"Neither did I," I agreed.

"Something tells me you didn't come over here to chat about literature," observed Connie.

"You're right," I confirmed. "I came here to tell you that you're beautiful, and you're amazing, and I've wanted to be with you for a long time."

With that, Connie burst out laughing, which cut me like a knife.

"Thanks," she said, still laughing. "I needed that."

"I wasn't joking," I clarified.

At that point, she stopped laughing, and her face took on a mortified look.

"Oh, Holden," she responded. "I couldn't possibly."

"Yes, you can," I argued. "I'm an adult now. There's nothing morally or legally wrong with us being together."

"Maybe not," granted Connie. "But I really think you'd be happier with someone your own age."

I summoned up all of my courage, and cupped her beautiful face with both of my hands.

"What would make happy," I said, "Is to make you happy."

She offered no resistance, but closed her eyes and accepted my kiss as I brought my lips to hers. It started out gentle and chaste, but the wild exuberance I loved about her reemerged before too long, and before I knew it, I was engaged in a fierce battle of tongues with the fairest of all Tipton employees.

"That was amazing," I said as we came up for breath.

"Yeah, it was," agreed Connie. "Even if you do taste like cigar smoke."

I chuckled. "Yeah, the twins thought it'd be a manly thing to do."

With that, Connie seized me by the lapels of my shirt.

"If you'd like," offered Connie in a seductive voice. "I can make a man out of you tonight."

I could hardly turn down such an offer, and I silently let her lead me to her cabin. I didn't know at that moment how the future would work itself out for us, other than I was certain it would. All I knew was, I could be the man Connie truly deserved, now that I was finally old enough to love her.

(Funtertainment® is a registered trademark of Tipton Industries. Used by permission.)

**The End**

**

* * *

**

**Notes on Pair:**

**Holden**, played by **Chad Duell**, was a love-interest of Bailey's prior to her dating Cody. He appeared in the _SLOD_ episodes **"International Dateline"** and **"Boo You."** His last name is my fabrication.

**Connie**, played by** Jennifer Tisdale**, is the S.S. Tipton's manic-depressive activities director (officially, "Director of Funtertainment®") Her reason for being out of sorts, more often than not, is her relationship with her boyfriend being on the rocks. Whether this is one on-again, off-again boyfriend, or several short-term boyfriends is unknown. She appears in the _SLOD_ episodes **"Flowers and Chocolate," "The Wrong Stuff," **and **"Crusin' for a Bruisin'."**


	37. Silver Turtle VII

**The Secret You Keep**

by SilverTurtle

Rating: T

**************

You watch her when she isn't paying attention.

She thinks that you don't really see her, that you don't listen to her, that she doesn't matter to you, but she does.

She really does.

She's one of the most important people in your life, because you love her, not that she'll ever know that.

You'll never tell her.

You can't.

It wouldn't be 'appropriate'. And wouldn't she be surprised you know the meaning of that word?

You know the meaning of a lot of words. Words like love and devotion and sacrifice and despair. You know a lot of words, and what's worse, you know how they feel.

You know what it is to live with the ache in your chest, the words you can never say lodged in your throat and stealing your breath, and the terrible hope (the fear) that someday she'll look right through you to who you really are. You wonder if she'd like what she'd see.

But it doesn't matter. You'll keep it all locked inside, it'll kill you a little more every day, but you'll keep it. You'll cherish it because it's the one thing in the entire world that is yours and yours alone. You'll never ever share this with anyone, most of all not with her.

Because if you told her how you felt, if you let your mask drop and showed her the person hiding underneath your bubble-headed façade, it would ruin her life and yours along with it.

She's your teacher, and even though you're of legal age you cannot be with her. If you tried, if your father heard about it, she'd lose her job and would never be allowed to teach again. If she lost her job she'd be ripped away from you. It wouldn't even matter if she returned your feelings or not, she'd be gone all the same.

And you?

You'd be shipped right to your father's side, never to leave his control again, never to taste the freedom found in his apathy. For while he's never taken a particular interest in your life he couldn't let you, his only offspring, run around in public with devious tendencies in view. It would be bad for business. No matter how progressive the world may be, Wilfred Tipton was not.

So you keep your mask on and hide yourself from view. You keep your feelings bottled inside never to be released. And you keep her close for as long as you can.

Maybe someday it'll get easier. Maybe the feelings will dull and you'll be able to breathe again. Or maybe someday you'll be able to tell Emma Tutweiller that you love her. Maybe. Probably not.

But until that day you'll wear your mask and deep in the darkest part of your heart you'll hate yourself a little bit, because if you were anyone other than London Tipton you wouldn't have to hide at all.

**************

**THE END

* * *

**

**Notes on the Pairing:**

You all know **London Tipton** as played by **Brenda Song**.

**Emma Tutweiller**, played by **Erin Cardillo**, is the teacher responsible for educating our main characters in the Suite Life On Deck.


	38. woundedhearts

**Choices of the Heart**

By woundedhearts

* * *

"So are you sure?" Harper asked of the blond woman who had shared ten years of her life with her. "Because Janice once you walk out that door there's no turning back."

"Harper you know why I have to do this," she replied while packaging up the last box. "It's for the best and hopefully in the end you'll thank me for what I have done."

"Will I?" Harper asked.

"Please don't do this?" The blond woman replied. "Don't make me feel like the bad guy in all this."

"Why not?" Harper asked as a tear slid down her face. "Why aren't you the bad guy?"

"I didn't intend for it to happen but I did what I thought was right under the circumstances. I didn't mean to hurt you, but sometimes life throws us in directions that we don't anticipate."

"Don't give me that, you made your decision when you walked into that hospital room and you made it without me." Harper quietly stated. "You knew what was going to happen and you knew that it would hurt me, so don't stand there and lie to me and tell me you didn't mean to do something when the end result was obvious."

Janice whirled around and faced her, "Alright fine, but Harper you made a choice too, you didn't follow me and that is all on you. I won't apologize for something that I felt was the right decision." Leaning over she began to pick up the box only to have Harper stop her by pressing down on it.

"You don't understand do you?" As the two women gazed into one another's eyes they searched for some compromise, but there was none to be had. "You ruined what we spent so many years building in a matter of minutes. You didn't care about anything or anyone but you and now I don't even think I know you anymore."

"Funny I was about to say the same thing about you."

Harper turned away looking around at the half empty room and a feeling of a deep loneliness ran through her. In her mind she could almost picture different scenes that they shared together in that small space and she knew those memories would haunt her for a long time to come.

Janice watched from the doorway holding the last of her belongings, she wanted so much to make this all go away but she knew that it was too late, yet she also knew that her decision had been the right one, and gained some solace in that.

"Not that it would make any difference to you now," She confessed. "But, I will always love you."

"Goodbye Janice." Came a small voice filled with heartbreak.

"Goodbye Harper." She replied turning and walking away from the house she had called her home for so long.

Jessica walked toward her twin and helped her carry the last bit of items from a life that was now gone forever, leftovers of a treasure and a love she no longer possessed.

"Janice?"

"Jessica please, not now."

Jessica quietly closed the trunk while Janice turned one last time and saw the figure of a woman in the window, a figure she had known very well.

A woman she had loved with all her heart and a deep longing came over her, she wanted so desperately to hold her and pretend that this didn't happen, but wanting and getting were two different things, so said the woman that according to her lover she helped to kill.

The drive to her sister's house was usually picturesque and beautiful. It always seemed to calm her and soothe her as she gazed up at the trees and the green hillsides that aligned the highway. But today it had no such affect on her; today she was too deep into her own thoughts to ever really be able to enjoy the scenery the way she usually did.

No her thoughts were filled with Harper and the pain she saw in her eyes before she left. She began to wonder what she was doing now, more than likely Alex had already arrived to help her and somehow she was thankful for that.

Alex Russo had always been a big part of their lives and if the truth be told at times she found herself to be a little envious of their friendship, but she knew that in the end Harpers heart had always belonged to her.

Debra Finkle had often said so. A tear slipped down her cheek as she thought of the woman who she regarded as a second mother. She never failed to inform her of that. Harper loved her and wanted to share a life with her, at least until now. But could she really blame her?

"Jan I know what you're thinking?" Jessica told her as she maneuvered around another car. "You need to stop beating yourself up, what you did you did out of love, and it was something Debra wanted."

"She looked so frail and weak toward the end," she sighed. "She just wanted to be free and happy again, those machines were keeping that from being possible."

* * *

"Harper why don't you go after her?" Alex told her friend. "You know you want to?"

"I can't, it's done, it's over and I can't change that."

"Look we've been best friends since before we could walk, and as your best friend I am saying this to help you," she stated going over and sitting down next to her on the sofa. "You're an idiot if you let Janice go."

"It's not my decision; she's the one that decided to leave."

"Why do you think that is?"

"What do you mean?" Harper replied giving her friend a quizzical look.

"What happened with Debbie was awful, but she was sick and she wanted someone there that would be able to okay the right decision."

"She had no right, she should have told me, and she should have talked it over with me first." Harper cried.

"And what would you have said?"

"I would have said no, I would've of let her live." She said wiping her eyes.

"Harper she wasn't really living, in fact I don't think she was even in that room anymore, it was a shell, it wasn't her." Alex sympathetically said. "The machines were doing everything for her, there was no life left to live."

"You don't understand,"

"Yes I do, she was your mother and you should have been the one to say yes or no. But Harper your mother knew that you would never let her go, and you needed to, so by giving Jan the final say she knew that it would guarantee the right choice was made."

"It wasn't fair."

"No it wasn't, but life isn't always fair, and you needed to find a way to come to terms with the fact that your mother was ready to go." Alex said as Harper got up and gazed out the window. "I'm not trying to hurt you, but you need to realize that you have to let her go, it's been six months what do you think she would say if she were here right now. She would say go after her, she would say don't let her get away."

"You don't know that for sure, and I don't want to talk about this anymore." She stated. "I need a nap; I'm going upstairs I'll be down in an hour."

"Okay, I'll order some lunch." She replied trying her best to help. "Chinese?"

"Yah that'll be okay," The other woman called as she headed up the stairs.

Alex sat and waited before she reached behind her and pulled out her wand. She knew that the supernatural wasn't something you messed around with, but her friend was hurting and the only person she knew that could help her was her mother, besides, when had she ever stuck to the rulebook.

My friend is in pain and slowly dying bring back the one who can get her smiling. Within the next moment a familiar figure appeared with a smirk on her face.

"Well Alex I see you're up to your old tricks." Debra told the young woman and then gazed up at the staircase. "I think for this too work I better wait until she's asleep."

"I'm sorry I thought you might be able to help, I just hope she doesn't freak out to badly?"

"Why would she freak out, the ghost of her dead mother has come for a visit, how would that be freaky?" Debra laughed and Alex saw the familiar pink in her cheeks.

"Wow, if I must say you look good."

"Yes, apparently death agrees with me." Debra replied with a wink earning a chuckle by the young woman standing next to her.

"She hasn't been taking your passing well," the dark haired girl stated.

Although Alex may not say it very often but her friend meant the world to her, in many respects she had become more than a friend, she was her sister.

"I know, I've been watching her," Debra sighed. "She's always been so full of life so filled with smiles, and the last few months it hasn't been that way, Jan could tell that and she blamed herself for it and so that is why she left."

"I think you're right," she replied gazing over at a picture of the two on the mantel in happier times.

"She's asleep now," Debra stated. "I think I better go and have a talk with my baby girl."

* * *

Harper lay in bed lost to the waking world as unsettling thoughts formed in her unconscious mind. These scenes disguised as dreams played havoc with her heart and soon she found herself on an out of control emotional rollercoaster.

Unable to get off she held on with all her might, her hands turning white from the extreme grip she had on the safety bar in front of her. Terrified screams threatened to rip through her but when she opened her mouth no sound would come.

As the cart seemed to go faster a fear engulfed her like no other. The fear of her impending demise, and she had no choice but to succumb to its grasp. And in that final moment she called out for the first person that entered her mind. Repeating Janice's name over and over as the tears and a hollow ache began to take shape she thought she heard a faint voice call out to her.

Harper, Harper it's me instantly she was alert as a faint white light appeared in the distance and a sense of overwhelming peace came over her.

Covering her eyes to give them a chance to adjust she smiled when she recognized the person coming toward her.

In the next moment she flew into her mother's arms, feeling safe and comforted. The rollercoaster was long gone, and she was filled with an overpowering sense that she was gliding on a cloud. Pulling back just a bit she studied her mother's face afraid to blink for fear that she might disappear.

"Mom how?" Harper's mind tried to wrap itself around what was going on. "Where are we?"

She looked around and noticed they were indeed standing on a cloud surrounded by rainbows and moonbeams. Her mother's radiant light surrounding her in a heavenly magical glow while she wore her trademark infectious smile.

"How have you been sweet pea?" Harper smiled at the familiar childhood nickname. "I've been okay."

Her mother gave her the usual I know when you're lying look and asked again. Her daughter laughed and they walked over to a bench and sat down. Instantly tall trees and green hillsides surrounded them, as they watched a playground appear before them she blinked her eyes to make sure see wasn't dreaming.

To Harper's amazement it was the park that her mother used to always take her too when she was little, in fact if she didn't know any better she would swear that this was indeed the same park and the two little girls playing in the sandbox were she and Alex when they were young.

Debra watched her daughter in amusement as confusion filled her mind; waiting for the question she knew would come.

"Mom, is that me…I mean is she me?" Harper wasn't sure what she was seeing or saying for that matter. "This can't be real."

"Harper you are a smart girl with a very clever mind, but don't over analyze everything, something's just are," she stated putting a comforting arm around her daughters shoulders. "You just have to believe, open your eyes to the possibilities."

"I remember this place; I used to love coming here."

"I know I would bring you here every Sunday," The older woman smiled as she looked on in remembrance.

Harper watched herself walk over to the swing set and prepare to take hold of an empty seat. When suddenly a girl pushed her off, little Harper was not amused and stood up to tell her so when she felt a hand on her shoulder.

"Don't let her bother you; she's been acting like that all day."

Harper smiled as the little blond girl helped her up, "I know she's like that all the time, thanks." She said happily when she was finally on her feet again.

Suddenly they heard laughing and directed their attention back to the other girl. Apparently she was having some trouble because the seat would move each time Gigi went to make a grab for it.

Frustrated and refusing to let herself be made a fool of she made one last grab for the swing and immediately regretted it as she ended up falling face first in the dirt. She ran to her mother crying while all the other kids continued to point and laugh.

"Win one for Alex," Harper laughed as she watched her little friend smirk while a very angry and young looking Theresa was scolding her.

"Yes, she was always a spirited one," Debra laughed.

"Yes, she was and still is..." Harper added as her gaze returned back to the two little girls standing by the swing set, her words trailing off.

Debra sat and watched as her daughter walked over to the two and listened to them talk for a minute. There was something very familiar about the little girl, but for some reason Harper couldn't place it.

She watched a few more minutes while the two girls laughed still discussing the strange incident at the swing set, when they heard Harper's name being called.

"Harper come on time to go eat, we're heading over to the sub shop for a sandwich." Debra called to her daughter.

"Okay mom," young Harper replied turning to her new friend. "Well I guess I'll see yah later."

"Yes I guess so," the little girl smiled as she waved and turned away. "Cheerio for now."

Harpers mind went into shock mode as the two little girls separated and then she heard a very distinct name in the distance. "Janice let's go we need to be back for an early supper, please take a hold of your sister?" The voice faded into the distant past and she turned to her mother and smiled in awe.

"We met before college?" Harper asked in wonder. "I didn't remember that, wow."

"What can I say, except fate has quite a sense of humor," Debra smiled as they again sat down on the bench, this time surrounded by the big fluffy clouds she'd first arrived too.

"Why mom?" she asked as a well-known ache began to creep in.

"Sweetheart, I love you and I know how hard it was for you to come to terms that one day I may not be around," Debra paused. "You never wanted to talk about it and you never gave any indication that under certain circumstances you'd be able to fulfill my wishes."

"I know and I'm sorry, it's just not an easy thing to think about," She replied.

"I know, and I understand, but I was able to talk about these things with Janice and in many ways it was comforting to me," Her mother told her.

"I know, and I'm glad for that because you were able to have a little piece of mind."

"But…" Debra waited.

"But, I'm your daughter and I wasn't even allowed to make such an important decision. I felt useless and betrayed almost as if you didn't trust me, but at the same time I felt like I had let you down somehow because you didn't feel like you could come to me."

"Harper I love you and there is nothing and no one more important to me than you are," She stated clearing her thought. "But you have to realize that kind of burden is a tough one to have to deal with. It's a rough decision and one I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy, having to choose wither to end a life or not is not an easy choice to make especially when that life belongs to someone you love."

"I know, and I don't honestly think I could have authorized them to take that final step."

"Exactly but I wanted them too and Janice knew this," she told her daughter. "This wasn't a decision she made lightly it took her several weeks to finally say yes, but she did because she knew it would make me happy and it would keep you from having to deal with this yourself. She loved you and she knew how badly this would have torn you up inside. Don't blame her for doing something I asked of her, she did it out of love for you."

"It's funny while I was riding that roller coaster from hell…um I mean heck," Harper corrected herself as she gazed around waiting for a lightning bolt to strike and making her mother chuckle in spite of the seriousness of the conversation. "When I thought I was going to die, she's the first person I thought about, the first name I cried out too,"

"I know; I heard you." She stated with compassion. "Honey, sometimes you have to think about the good times to overcome the bad, and you have to let go of the past so you can have a future."

"What are you trying to say?" Harper smirked.

"Don't let her get away," she answered. "Remember the moment you fell in love with her."

Harper replayed their relationship over in her mind, and recalled exactly when she had first fallen in love with the tall blond beauty. Boston College's freshman orientation, Janice walked into the room looking as lost and nervous as she herself had felt. Not to mention the fact that she had created quite a stir when she dropped the stack of books in her hand, and spilled her mocha latte all over the floor causing her to slip.

Harper had walked over to help her up and something clicked between them, and she found herself getting lost in those eyes…and slipping on her coffee as well, she often wondered what a sight they must have made sitting there on the floor laughing like two crazy women, but she didn't care because she somehow felt her insecurities melt away and soon was happy to hear they would be sharing a dorm room and a friendship that eventually bloomed into so much more.

When she thought about her one word came to mind…wonderful, and suddenly the thought of never seeing her again scared the hell out of her. No that just won't do her heart belonged to Janice and she wasn't ready to have it handed back.

"So now that you have decided," the older woman smiled at her daughter. "What are you planning to do?"

"I'm going to plead and beg and cry and pray that she forgives me, and if she does, I'm going to bring her home," Harper smiled.

"That's my girl."

Harper sat down and a melancholy feeling came over her as she took her mother's hands in hers. "I miss you so much; my life isn't the same without you." She sighed biting back a tear.

"I miss you too but we'll see one another again one day, and I'll always be with you, right in here." Debra expressed holding her hand against her daughter's heart. "I love you sweet pea, and remember that I'm not the only one."

"You're talking about Janice and Alex?"

"Among others, but yes." Debby hugged her daughter close to her and whispered a soft goodbye before leaving a gentle kiss on her cheek.

The next moment she was wide-awake lying safely back on her bed. Laughing she jumped up and raised down stairs only to hear Alex saying goodbye to someone, but before she could find out who her friend met her at the foot of the steps.

"So are you ready?"

"For what?"

"Duh, to bring Janice home," Alex rolled her eyes.

"How did you know…?"

"I have my ways, "she replied making Harper wonder but before she could ask Alex pulled her to her side and waved her wand over them.

* * *

Jessica pulled up into the drive with Janice sitting beside her looking miserable. She'd know how hard everything was for her in the last few months but she thought the relationship could with stand it, if any relationship could.

"Jan how about we head inside and relax for a bit before we finish taking in the rest of the things. I can make some dinner and we can talk," she suggested.

Janice turned toward her twin and vaguely nodded, "That's fine." She replied as they headed on inside.

"I think I'll head upstairs and change."

"Cup of tea and some sugar cookies before dinner?" Jessica asked knowing that combination always had a way of soothing her sister's nerves.

"Yes let me just change and I'll head back down."

"Sure," Jessica replied and headed into the kitchen.

Upstairs Janice walked into her room and jumped when she noticed Harper sitting on the bed.

"I'm sorry baby I didn't mean to scare you," she said when she realized she had startled her.

"Harper how did you get…." She began but was interrupted when they heard a shriek coming from downstairs. "Let me guess, Alex?" Janice asked shaking her head and trying not to laugh.

"She does know how to use a wand," Harper said making them both laugh.

"Janice…"

"Harper I…"

"No please let me finish and then if you want me to leave I will and you won't have to see me ever again." Harper said taking a hold of the other woman's hands and leading her over to sit next to her.

"When I came home that night after everything was finished at the hospital, I was in such a dark place. I felt like my whole life had been destroyed and a stop watch had been clicked in the one second it took to separate that cord from its outlet." She said quietly trying to keep herself from crying. "When the doctor called the time of death on the clock that's when everything hit me all at once, and I needed someone to blame someone that I could hate for everything that had happened in the past year. Janice I hate myself for saying this, but I hated my mother and I hated you."

"I don't want to hear this anymore," Janice got up and Harper wrapped her arms around her waist and pulled her back toward her holding the blond woman while she sat in her lap.

"Please I need you to listen to me," Harper said placing a gentle kiss on her shoulder and then leaned her chin on it. "I couldn't do it, I tried, you don't know how badly I tried, but I know the only person I could blame was me, because I knew what my mother wanted and I refused to do it. Too have to make that decision on my own would have been gut wrenching and in the end I would have been responsible for ending her life and I didn't want that burden, and I hated myself because the only person I could think about was me. In her last hours I was thinking about me, how I would feel, how I would deal with the consequences. I never once thought about what she wanted I thought only of myself."

Janice turned in her arms and hugged her close to her with tears streaming down their faces, "Harper please, you loved your mother dearly and there was nothing you could do in that hospital room to change the ending. Her time had come and you're right it wasn't fair and it wasn't easy, but it wasn't anyone's fault. You can't blame yourself, it was sad yes, but it was something that just…was."

Leaning their foreheads against one another's, both women sat silently lost in their own thoughts. Janice tenderly kissed Harper and smiled when she closed her eyes and sighed.

"I love you and I did what I did because I knew you'd end up hating yourself. I couldn't let that happen, I refused to stay and watch your love for me fade. I couldn't live with myself knowing I was responsible for seeing that light in you; the one I love so much, flicker and die.

"Janice I made a mistake, I was an idiot to let you go and I know that now. You're my heartbeat and without you I seize to be, baby you're my strength and my weakness. You are everything to me and I ruined our relationship by not telling you that more often." Harper lightly brushed her fingertips across her lover's cheek as she continued. "I need you, I'm not me without you, please come home and let me make this up to you. Give me the chance to show you how much you mean to me every day for the rest of our lives."

Janice smiled through her tears and tenderly pressed her lips against Harpers, while nodding her head in agreement. "Harper let's go home."

"I was just about to say the same thing," she replied leaning in for another kiss.

**THE END**

* * *

**AN: The pairing for this story was…**

**Harper Finkle** from Wizards of Waverly Place Alex Russo's best friend and confidant, who often finds herself involved in several magical hi-jinx. She is played by **Jennifer Stone.**

**Janice Ellis** from Suite Life of Zack and Cody who appeared in several episodes with her twin sister **Jessica** were played by real life twins **Milly Rosso** (Janice) and **Becky Rosso** (Jessica).


	39. Tiger002 II

**Dear Nia,**

by Tiger002

* * *

Dear Nia,

I know I'm taking a big risk by doing this, but I really didn't know what else to do. The year we've spent in high school together had been so much fun, and I really wish it wouldn't end. Ever since I met you at the hotel, I admired your strength, your courage, and your ability to not care what anyone thought. I don't know when, but I fell in love with you, and I just thought you should know it.

Yeah, I know, the brainy little kid loving you seems impossible, but it's true. I just wish I could have told you face to face, instead of having to write this letter. It's not like I haven't tried to tell you, but as you've seen I frequently lose the ability to form coherent words. Your smile just turns my brain to mush.

Honestly, I'm not even sure why I'm writing this. You'll probably just think it's weird, that I'm just a dork who has a crush on to you. Even so, I have to take this chance. I can feel my heart beating in my chest as I write this, it's like it's going to burst out, if I don't tell you. Please Nia, I love you just give me a chance.

I've probably scared you away with this. If so, then I'm sorry, but on the off chance you could see me as something more than your friend, then, meet me in Tipton restaurant tomorrow at 6, if not, then try to forget you ever read this.

Yours forever,

Cody Martin

**The End**

* * *

Notes on the pairing:

**Nia Moseby** is Mr. Moseby's niece, who made several appearances in season three of _SLOZAC _and is played by **Giovonnie Samuels.**

**Cody Martin**_ is the twin brother of Zack who has made appearances in 129 episodes between the two shows thus far, and is played by _**Cole Sprouse.**

**A/N:** Something short, but I think it still shows his feelings. I'm thinking about writing a full story with this pairing, but I'm not sure when I'll get time/motivation.


	40. WyntirSno IV

**The Big Game**

By WyntirSno

Irene had finally saved up enough money to pay for her cruise on the S. S. Tipton, with the help of her employee discount of course. She was in a hurry, she wanted to get there a little early so she could get her stuff in her cabin and still have time to catch the kick-off for the Cowboy game. She was sure there must be a media room of some kind on the ship. She knew people would think she was silly but she had never missed one of their games yet.

As she arrived on the ship the and porter took her bags for her, she went to see the Cruise Director to find out her room number and to ask about the media room. She was surprised when she finally got far enough in the line to see the director; it was Mr. Moseby. She had totally forgotten that he was working aboard the S. S. Tipton. She couldn't wait to finally get to the front of the line and say hi to her old boss. As the person in front of her left and she stepped up to the desk Mr. Moseby looked up from his paperwork in surprise.

"Irene, I didn't know you were scheduled on this trip? How are you doing? How is the hotel?" Moseby asked eagerly.

"Hi Mr. Moseby, I'm great. I finally got my cruise vacation. I am so happy to see you. How have yo…"

"Mr. Moseby, Mr. Moseby! Can I see you for a minute, I need to tell you something, it's kind of an emergency sir."

A great big teddy bear of a man in a security uniform came running up to Mr. Moseby shouting about some emergency.

"Kirby, what is it? Can't you see I'm busy checking in guests? I can't just leave them here; can your emergency wait a little bit?" Moseby asked the security guard.

Irene couldn't help stare as Kirby leaned in and whispered in Mr. Moseby's ear. He looked a little worried, but Mr. Moseby just looked annoyed like usual.

"Kirby tell Zack I will be coming to his room to see he, Marcus, and Woody very soon and they better be there." Moseby said sternly.

"Yes sir, I will go do that now. Uh, Mr. Moseby, uh will you be needin' me for the next couple of hours or so?" Kirby asked his boss.

"I guess not Kirby, why do you ask?" the little bald man asked.

"Well, I was hopin' to catch the Cowboy game in the media room, but if you need me I will go with you to Zack's room." He answered hesitantly.

"No Kirby that's ok, if I need you I know where you'll be. I hope your team wins" Moseby reassured his friend.

Oh my goodness another Cowboy fan, and he is going right where she wanted to go. This is all too good to be true, catch her favorite team, finally on the cruise of her dreams, and hoping to get to snuggle with a big brown teddy bear. This might be an interesting game, whether the Cowboys win or lose.

"Uh, Mr. Moseby can I get my room key, I was kind of wanting to catch that game too." Irene interrupted the two men.

"Oh Irene, I am so sorry I didn't mean to make you wait. Of course you can have your key." Moseby apologized.

"Kirby, would you be good enough to show Irene where the media room is so she can catch the game too?" Moseby asked.

Kirby looked at Irene and smiled shyly at her. "Of course Mr. Moseby, I'd be very happy to take Miss Irene to the game."

Irene was ecstatic she was going to make kick off and maybe get to kick off something of her own.

**The End

* * *

**

**Notes on Pairing:**

**Kirby Morris** **(Windell D. Middlebrooks)** is the ship's security guard. He first appeared in season 1 of _SLOD_ in _**"Showgirls".**_ He then returned in _**"Boo You"**_ in which Kirby never finished high school, so Zack and Cody help him study for the high school test causing him to graduate. He appeared again in season 2 during the episode _**"Cruisin' for a Bruisin'"**_ as the one who hurt Mr. Moseby. His next appearance was in _**"In the Line of Duty"**_ where he helped Zack be a hall monitor. (Although he was mentioned on _**"Lost at Sea"**_ we never saw him.) His accountant is Cody. He appeared again in _**"Any Given Fantasy"**_ when he became a strict coach with Cody to teach him how to play football correctly. His latest appearance was in _**"London's Apprentice"**_ where he was trying to guard London's 1 Million dollars.

**Irene (Sharon Jordan)** is the concierge for the Tipton Hotel in _SLOZAC_; Irene is usually seen in the background during scenes in the lobby. She has red curly hair. In season 2 _**"**__**Boston Tea Party**__**"**_, she gets her first speaking part. Irene sabotaged Maddie's traveling candy cart in _**"**__**Nurse Zack**__**"**_, to which Maddie alludes to Irene not having very many speaking parts by replying, "It's always the quiet ones". In season 3 _**"**__**Orchestra**__**"**_ her speaking role was expanded when she had to teach London how to do her job.


	41. James Doyle VII

**Finding a New Dream**

By

James Doyle

All throughout high school, as well as my freshman year in college, I'd dated lots of girls, and made passes at many more. But I never thought any farther ahead with them than just having a little fun. It was all good, because most of them were pretty shallow, so their intentions were more or less the same. I know what you're thinking: it sounds like a miserable, lonely existence. And it really was. But there was a reason I did it.

I was holding out hope. Ever since I was twelve years old, there was only one girl I could see myself spending forever with. That girl was Madeline Fitzpatrick, my darling Maddie, my "Sweet Thang." Crazy as it sounds, all I was doing was biding my time until Maddie was ready to admit I was the one for her.

I was a fool. That became abundantly clear in May of 2012. Maddie had recently graduated from the United States Naval Academy at Annapolis, and would be attending law school with a view toward becoming a JAG lawyer. In one sense, I was grateful. Maddie had never had much growing up, and the Navy had given her the means to achieve her dreams. That said, they also dashed mine: Not only had Maddie found an education and a career at Annapolis, she'd also found Ken.

2Lt. Kenneth McCurdy, USMC, was in training to become a Marine pilot. As Maddie got to know him, she realized he wasn't like other marines. He actually had a lot of the same views as her, and fully supported her desire to get into politics, believing the ongoing battle for freedom had to be fought from within as well as from without. Eventually, it became clear that they were destined to be together. I couldn't deny it, and I couldn't stop it.

I suppose I should've been grateful. Things were going pretty well for me and my family. Cody and Bailey had gotten into Yale together, like they wanted. They weren't dating any longer, but they were still great friends. My mom had hung up her microphone and took a job with a Boston talent agency that Wilfred Tipton had purchased. As for me, Moseby had taken me under his wing senior year, and I was now studying Hospitality Management at the same trade school he'd attended, and was on the fast track to upper management in the Tipton organization.

On June 23, 2012, for one day, none of that mattered anymore. At that time, the only place in the whole universe was the Cathedral of the Holy Cross, where Cody, Bailey, and I sat on bride's side of the high-falootinest Catholic wedding Boston had ever seen (okay, probably not, but one of the most elaborate I'd ever seen.)

The groomsmen came in from the side, three in Marine dress blues, and two in Navy dress whites. At the head of the line was another Marine, who was grinning from ear to ear. I'd only met him once before, but I immediately identified him as Lieutenant Ken. I'd actually started entertaining the thought of kicking his ass back to the Boston Tea Party when the bridesmaids processed.

First in line was my mother, someone who'd always been something of a mentor to Maddie. Behind her came two other girls I didn't know. The fourth was a tall, slender but well-endowed black girl. I knew she'd gone to high school with Maddie, but I couldn't remember her name. Much to my surprise, my next thought was I didn't recall her being this hot. Finally came London Tipton, Maddie's Maid of Honor. It amazed me that the two of them had managed to stay friends all these years.

Then, the moment of truth arrived. A very elegant (and very loud) piece with organ and trumpets (which Cody later told me was Jeremiah Clarke's "Prince of Denmark's March," more commonly known as "Trumpet Voluntary") played, and the girl I was losing forever walked slowly down the aisle on her father's arm. Her hair was much shorter than I remembered, and had reverted to its natural brown. Aside from that, she looked exactly as I pictured her on wedding day, dressed in a shining white bridal gown and veil. As she approached the altar, however, the picture was missing one key element...me.

The ceremony was officiated by Father Kevin O'Shaughnessy, Maddie's old headmaster. Since both parties were Catholic, it was a full mass, and therefore a lot different than any other wedding I'd attended. This meant I had my suffering prolonged by a bunch of prayers, a Gloria, more prayers, a scripture reading by Moseby, a responsorial psalm, another scripture reading, a gospel acclamation, yet another scripture reading by Father Kevin himself, and a sermon also by Father Kevin before we finally got to the exchange of vows.

As Lieutenant Ken placed the ring on Maddie's finger, I began thinking it was finally over. Much to my chagrin, we still had to suffer through the offering, eucharistic prayers, the Lord's Prayer (the only part of the ceremony I was actually familiar with,) the sign of peace (I'd never shaken so many strangers' hands in my life,) and communion. After yet another set of prayers, the final twist of the knife came.

"By the authority vested in me by God through the Holy and Apostolic Church, in accordance with the laws of the Commonwealth of Massachusetts," proclaimed Father Kevin. "I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss your bride."

I couldn't bear to watch as Lieutenant Ken kissed his new wife.

"Dearly beloved," announced Father Kevin. "It is my honor to present to you for the first time, Lieutenant Ken McCurdy, and Ensign Madeline Fitzpatrick McCurdy."

The crowd rose and applauded. All except me. I buried my face in my hands and sobbed like there was no tomorrow. The only woman I'd ever truly loved was now another man's wife. I had to let her go. I had no choice. But dammit, that didn't mean I had to like it.

We headed back to the Tipton for the reception. The first part of it was a blur. I'd shrugged off any attempts to console me. By the time the bridal party arrived, I was fresh out of tears. I don't remember the best man's speech at all. London's speech was pretty simplistic, but I was impressed that she actually managed to avoid talking about herself and say a few kind words about Maddie.

After I managed to choke down my dinner, my first impulse was to go drink myself into a coma. That wasn't happening, as the barkeep told me the bride and groom had put me on a two-drink limit. This only reminded me that Maddie really did care about me, which only made it hurt worse. If I'd been able to act on my next impulse, I'd have bolted, and probably kept running until I passed out from exhaustion somewhere outside Providence. The only thing keeping me there at that point was someone much stronger than me pulling on my arm.

"There you are," said London Tipton. "Now I know you weren't leaving without dancing with me."

For the next hour or so, I didn't have time to feel sorry for myself, as London twirled me around the dance floor. I actually started to cheer up when I saw all the familiar faces. There was Esteban with his wife Francesca, Arwin with his on-again, off-again girlfriend Enid, and Grace with...no, it couldn't be...Skippy? Stranger things have happened, I guess.

London got tired of me eventually, but by then I was so revved-up that I went looking for another dance partner. Before long, I spotted that bridesmaid whose name I couldn't put my finger on. She was standing there by herself without a dance partner, which I decided just wouldn't do.

"Good evening," I said, cranking the charm up a few notches.

"Hi," she replied. "It's Zack, right?"

"That's me," I confirmed. "Forgive me, but I'm spacing on your name."

"It's Mary-Margaret," she informed me. "Not Mary; not Margaret; Mary-Margaret."

"Oh yeah," I said. "Now I remember. So what's a classy dame like you doing all by herself?"

Mary-Margaret giggled. "That sailor Maddie paired me up with is more interested in pickling his liver than dancing."

"Well then," I said. "His loss is my gain. May I have this dance?"

Mary-Margaret smiled as she took my arm. "Certainly."

To my great surprise, I found myself under her spell as I danced. For one thing, she has gorgeous boobs, and I probably would've been looking down the whole time if she hadn't had the most beautiful dark brown eyes I'd ever seen to go with them. It seemed to me that everything about her was perfect: the chocolate brown tone of her skin, the slope of her shoulders, the shape of her face. I started to wish I'd noticed her back when she was still in high school.

Of course, she probably wouldn't have given me the time of day. The only time she ever had occasion to visit the Tipton was when she was doing something with Maddie, so she never had a chance to develop the unique relationship Maddie and I had. It may never have had romantic possibilities, but it was something special, something I'd treasure forever.

I found it surprisingly easy to refocus my thoughts on my dance partner. She might not have given a second thought to a kid my age when I was in high school, but things were different now. I had to find out whether they were different enough for Mary-Margaret, or whether she was even right for me.

"So are you in the Navy like Maddie?" I asked.

Mary-Margaret scoffed. "No way. The military life is definitely not my thing. I'm starting as a nurse at an assisted living home in a few weeks."

"That's awesome," I said sincerely.

"So what about you?" she asked.

"Well," I answered, "I'm the Assistant Night Manager here at the Tipton, and I'm going to school so that hopefully, I can move into upper management."

"Not bad," she approved. "Maddie always said you'd do something great with your life."

"You didn't believe her?" I asked.

"Actually, I agreed," she clarified. "We both figured you just needed to grow up a little."

With that, Mary-Margaret scanned me from head to toe.

"Wow, you really have grown up," she marveled.

I chuckled. "Yeah, the growth spurt hit late."

Somehow, we moved closure with each dance. I'd very rarely held a woman this closely, and I could think of only one other time when it had felt like this. It was the time I danced with Maddie at her Sweet Sixteen party. I knew at that moment she was every bit as special, in her own unique way.

Finally, the last dance concluded, and the DJ began packing up his equipment. I dreaded saying goodbye, so I was thrilled when Mar y-Margaret delayed it a bit longer.

"The bridesmaids have a suite," she explained, "But I really don't feel like staying here tonight."

"I'd be happy to drive you home," I offered.

"Thank you," she accepted.

We sat in silence for most of the drive, just enjoying each other's company.

"We're here," I announced.

"Would you like to come in?" she invited.

The next thing out of my mouth surprised me.

"I would," I said, "But what I'd like even more is to get this one right. Let's not rush things."

Mary-Margaret nodded. "Agreed."

As I walked her to her door, I placed a hand on her face, and planted a chaste, yet romantic kiss on her lips.

"I'm glad we found each other again," she said.

"Me too," I agreed.

"Call me?" she asked.

"Absolutely," I promised.

I had no regrets as I drove home that evening. Being with Maddie had always been a dream of mine, and that dream had taken me this far. Now, with Mary-Margaret, I'd found a new dream, a dream well on its way to coming true.

**The End**

**

* * *

**

**Notes on Pairing:**

**Zack Martin**, played by **Dylan Sprouse**, is the elder (by ten minutes) of the Martin twins, and together with his brother Cody, is the lead character on both The Suite Life of Zack and Cody and The Suite Life on Deck. If you don't know who he is, you are not a fan!

**Mary-Margaret**, played by **Monique Coleman** of High School Musical-fame, is a classmate of Maddie's at Our Lady of Perpetual Sorrows Catholic School. She appears in many episodes, most often accompanied by her ditzy friend Corrie (played by Vanessa Hudgens.)

This will be my final submission for the Strange Love challenge. I've submitted a range of stories, from happy, to romantic, to funny, to sexy, to tragic, to downright macabre. I thought it apropos to end with a sentiment of hope.

**Thanks for reading!**


	42. Silver Turtle VIII

**Rumors**

By SilverTurtle

Rating: T

**************

She was following him discretely to make sure the rumors weren't true. Alex didn't believe them anyway, but it was always better to have proof.

She'd heard, through the grapevine that was school gossip, that her boyfriend was seeing some other girls on the side. She'd heard it from a friend, who'd heard it from a friend, who'd heard it from a friend of a friend, who'd heard it from a friend who had supposedly witnessed her boyfriend with another girl. Now, usually Alex didn't put much stock in rumors like that, especially not ones involving her in any way. She didn't believe that he would cheat on her, no one would; they wouldn't dare.

She was Alex Russo, after all. Who could be better than her?

No one, that's who.

Still, the rumor had spread like wildfire. After hearing it initially, she'd overheard just about everyone talking about it. And whenever a rumor got that big, well, usually there was a grain of truth in it. Alex didn't believe it, of course she didn't, but she had to make sure.

And so, Alex was following him. Discretely. Meaning he'd never recognize her as she was now. Instead of trying to hide behind a hat and big sunglasses, Alex had gone for a more…thorough disguise.

She had turned herself into a boy. It had been easy. There was a whole chapter devoted to gender-swap spells in the book Justin didn't know she'd 'borrowed' from his room. She'd picked one after making sure the spell would wear off without her having to remember a pesky counter-spell, waved her wand, said some words, and transformed.

She was a hot boy, if she said so herself (and she did). Alex had never given any thought to how she'd look as a boy, had never considered being one, but she had naturally assumed she'd be attractive in whatever form she was in. Looking at herself in the mirror, seeing a totally drool-worthy dude looking back…well, that was as it should be.

After getting a text from Harper directing her to his current whereabouts she'd spotted him on the dance floor of the club. He didn't appear to be paying much attention to anyone in particular, though Alex could see a small flock of girls around him. He was dancing with all of them, trading partners frequently. Alex wasn't sure what to think about this. She'd known he was a flirt, but she hadn't known he went out to clubs without her, or that he was so damn popular with anyone with breasts (and quite a few without, as she noticed a few guys hanging around him).

Whatever, as long as he didn't focus on one person, she'd let this slide. It wasn't like he was making out with any of them. Just dancing. Not even dirty dancing.

Now, since she was in a club and in a pretty damn good disguise, she thought she might as well have some fun…while still keeping an eye on him, just to be sure.

She waded on to the dance floor, close but not too close, and started to dance.

It was funny, doing this in a guy's body. She was longer than she was used to, and didn't have as much hip, so she moved a little more awkwardly than the people around her. Still, she was enjoying it.

*********

Gwen had just spotted the cutest guy! All dark hair, pouty lips, soulful eyes, and awkward dancing; he was just so adorable!

She could tell, even from this distance, that they'd be perfect together. She had to get to know him! She just had to!

She wove her way through the dancing throng, sliding around flailing limbs and staying out of reach of wandering hands, until she was face to face with the boy of her dreams.

"Hi," she called, "I'm Gwen!"

He looked down at her, a confused look on his face, "Uh, hi." He looked away, obviously trying to spot someone in the crowd. Gwen pouted.

He wasn't paying any attention to her at all. That just would not do.

"What's your name?" she asked over the thumping music, pushing herself closer to her mystery man.

He looked down at her again, she blithely ignored the annoyance written on his face, and he said, "Alex."

Undeterred she plowed on, "Wanna dance with me, Alex?"

"Uh, not really," Alex said.

She ignored what he said, "Great!" She grabbed his wrist and dragged him deeper into the crowd, then turned, pressed close, and danced.

What he lacked in interest she made up for in enthusiasm, gyrating to the beat and against him.

She danced with him to several songs, trying to seduce him with her moves (and with a little illicit touching). Whenever he'd tried to escape she'd pulled him back until she'd missed her grab and he'd fled, disappearing into the mass of writhing bodies.

She wasn't going to let him get away though, she plunged after him.

*********

Alex had lost sight of him.

If that crazy girl hadn't dragged her off she wouldn't have lost him. What was with that girl anyway? Alex had never seen a girl so pushy, rather so pull-y. She'd been all over Alex, and she didn't even know her! And she could have sworn she'd felt the girl's hand on her crotch at one point toward the end there!

Hopefully Gwen wouldn't be able to find her again…and hopefully she'd be able to find her boyfriend.

Alex scanned the crowd, turning her head this way and that, searching. There!

She'd spotted him, a mass of girls around him still (and some hopeful guys).

She saw one girl reach out and squeeze his ass, he laughed and turned away.

That same girl pulled him back and he wrapped his arms around her.

They kissed. Long and deep, hands wandered.

Alex saw red.

She couldn't confront him yet, not like this. Instead, she pulled out her cell phone and snapped a picture. It was always better to have proof.

She put her phone in her pocket and turned away. She spotted Gwen at the same time the girl spotted her. Alex was so not ready to deal with her right now, she turned and fled again.

*********

Gwen had seen him!

He was right there just a second ago, but he'd vanished into the crowd again.

She followed, determined.

She pushed and elbowed her way between people, not even bothering to apologize as she kept going.

Her eyes intently flashed over the crowd, searching for any glimpse of Alex.

There!

Turning into the hallway where the bathroom is.

She followed.

*********

Alex leaned against the wall in the unisex bathroom, head tipped back.

She was so angry. How could he do this to her? Why? Wasn't she attentive enough? Was she not hot enough? Or just not slutty enough? She wouldn't be changing any time soon, but she'd still like to know.

What she did know already was it was over between them. As soon as she changed back she was dumping his sorry ass. Not that he'd care, judging from how thoroughly he'd been exploring that girl's tonsils with his tongue, he'd have a new squeeze in moments.

The door opened with a loud creak.

Alex saw Gwen a fraction of a second before the girl's tongue was in her mouth.

Figuring she had nothing to lose anyway, Alex kissed back.

She kissed so well, in fact, that Alex didn't even notice when she changed back.

*********

Gwen broke the kiss, entirely satisfied.

Alex was an excellent kisser.

She opened her eyes.

She shrieked.

"You're a girl! How? What? You're a girl?!"

Alex's eyes popped open and her head whipped to the mirror, "Huh, wonder why that happened. Should've had a few more hours," she said calmly.

Gwen was still freaking out. "You're a girl?! Since when are you a girl? I could have sworn I felt—a not girl part down there!"

Alex's eyes widened, "Uh, uh, I'm…an illusionist. Yeah, that works. I'm an illusionist; you only think you saw a boy."

"Uh, no," Gwen argued, "I most definitely felt a boy. Not a girl. And you're still wearing boy clothes! What the hell is going on? And why do you look so much like me?"

Alex looked closely at Gwen, close enough to make Gwen squirm, "Nope," she said drawing back, "I don't see it. We don't look anything alike." She paused for moment, "Welp, bye!"

Alex dodged around Gwen and slid out the door.

Gwen was awfully confused.

"I just kissed a girl. Who was a boy when I started kissing her and a girl when I stopped. So I kissed a girl…and liked it?" She thought for a moment, girl or boy, Alex had been a great kisser and Gwen had enjoyed it very much. "So, I liked it."

Gwen pouted, "I didn't even get her number!"

*********

Alex found him in the crowd. Easier this time, he was the one with the slut hanging off him.

She marched up to him and slapped him, "We're over."

She heard him splutter her name, calling excuses. She heard, with no small amount of satisfaction his girl of the moment yell at him, and then heard the slap; she smirked as she walked away.

She spotted Gwen wandering through the crowds.

"Hey Gwen!" she called out.

Gwen looked up, surprised, "Alex?"

Alex smiled, "Wanna dance?"

Gwen smiled back.

*********

Alex was the talk of the gossip mill once again the next day, but this time she didn't care what they were saying.

"Alex!" Harper bellowed down the hall, running full tilt toward her friend and sliding to a stop in front of her, "Is it true? You kissed a girl at the club last night after dumping that sleaze ball?"

Alex smiled, "Did more than kissed her," she said to her stunned best friend, "I'm dating her."

"Really?! When can I meet her?" Harper, ever supportive, took this news in stride.

"After school," Alex said, "She's coming to the sub-shop. I think you'll like her. I do."

**************

**THE END

* * *

**

**Notes on the Pairing:**

** Alex Russo** is from Wizards of Waverly Place, she guested in the crossover epic **'Wizards On Deck with Hannah Montana'**. **Gwen** appeared in the_ Suite Life of Zack and Cody_ episode 48 '**A Midsummer's Nightmare**'.

Both are played by **Selena Gomez.**


	43. Snapplelinz VI

_**Somewhere in the Mediterranean Ocean…**_

by Snapplelinz

* * *

"A toast," Lody began with a wide grin on her face as she held up her champagne glass.

The rest of the Random Suite Publishing authors (who were lounging together on deck chairs on the secluded beach) raised their glasses in the air.

"Here's to the 'Strange Love' collection, which just reached number one on the New York Times Best Seller List and earned us all a shit load of money." Lody congratulated laughingly.

"Cheers," the throng of authors exclaimed in unison as they clinked their glasses together enthusiastically.

"Woundedhearts, is there anything you'd like to add?" Lody asked courteously.

"I'm just glad that I'm finally on vacation," WH responded dryly, which earned her a few laughs and chuckles.

"No seriously, this collection wouldn't have been possible without all of your various writing abilities, your creativity and your passion for the Suite Life franchise and Tipton Industries. So you should all give yourselves a pat on the back for a job well done. To Ethereality, Fizzy Starburst, Undefinedliving, Purplewowies and Jeffandjimmieschick," WH continued as she turned her attention to the newer authors of the 'Strange Love' collection.

"Thank you for coming on board with us and making this collection as great as it could be. You guys rock," WH concluded sincerely as she tipped her champagne glass in their direction.

The rest of the authors echoed their names as they rose their glasses in the air once more.

"Wow, thanks you guys." Fizzy Starburst and Jeffandjimmieschick replied with gushing awe.

"Yeah, thanks a lot, guys. Considering I had no idea what I was going to write, it turned out pretty well." Undefinedliving added pleasantly while taking a sip of her champagne.

"Thank you, everyone. It was so great to be involved in a project like this. And I got to write my Zack/Vanessa pairing too." Purplewowies responded graciously with a broad smile on her face.

"Ether, are you crying?" Tiger asked in awe when he noticed the wet splotches on her cheeks.

"I'm sorry. I'm just so happy to have been a part of something amazing like this. You guys are awesome." Ether sobbed cheerfully.

Elianna22 put an arm around Ethereality's back and gave it a reassuring squeeze while handing her a tissue.

"I still can't believe that we're all here living it up on a private island," Wyntirsno mused aloud while staring at her surroundings in awe.

"After the success of the 'Strange Love' collection, it was only fitting that Mr. Tipton reward us for our efforts. He's got a sizable chunk of the profit in his pocket." James Doyle explained knowingly.

"And I don't even care. I already scored a date with that cute bartender from last night," Waldo smirked devilishly.

"Nice one, Waldo." The Hurricane 13 complimented while they slapped high-fives.

While everyone was talking animatedly amongst themselves, DarkElements10 was staring at a strange sight to her right.

"What's up, DE10?" Silverturtle asked curiously.

"Something's heading towards us," DE10 murmured distractedly as her eyes squinted in concentration against the sun beating overhead.

Snapplelinz and Ethereality, who had been conversing together, heard what DE10 had said and inched closed towards her with Elianna22 in tow.

"What is it?" Elianna22 asked quizzically, her eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

"It's a bird!" Ethereality exclaimed exuberantly.

"It's a plane!" Snapplelinz offered eagerly.

"It looks like a swarm of locusts," Silverturtle mused pensively as she watched its progress.

By now, they were all on their feet, watching apprehensively as the black shadow approached. They stared downwards as the golden sand rose and shuddered beneath their feet at the sound of approaching footsteps.

"Oh no," Lody mumbled in horror.

"What is it, Lody?" Tiger asked anxiously.

"That's not a swarm of locusts. They're people." Lody explained quickly.

"Who?" Fizzy Starburst asked quizzically.

"I don't want to alarm anyone. But the person running in front is Wayne Wormser from the Paul Revere Mart." Lody answered ominously.

"Hits-on-anything-that-moves Wayne? But then that means…" Hurricane trailed off cryptically.

"Oh my God, it's the LOUAC!" Elianna22 exclaimed.

Woundedhearts emitted a loud-pitched shriek and clutched at her throat, looking like she was on the verge of fainting on the spot.

"Who is the LOUAC?" Ethereality asked in bewilderment.

"_Wayne's here?!_ Do you think he's seen me yet?" Snap asked desperately as she tried to hide behind Tiger.

"The League Of Under-Appreciated Characters. They're a group of minor Suite Life characters who demanded that we write a romantic series for them." DE10 explained haphazardly to Ether.

"But I don't understand. The 'Strange Love' series was a success. What could they possibly want?" Silverturtle questioned curiously.

"How did they even find us?" Hurricane demanded nervously.

Waldo wasn't slow in noticing that James' face had grown uncomfortable at the mention of the LOUAC.

"James, what did you do?" Waldo asked shrewdly with his hands on his hips.

"Okay, now don't get mad. But I might've, kind've…let it slip to Corrie over the phone that we were sort've here." James explained feebly.

"James how could you?!" Snap demanded indignantly.

"I'm sorry, but Corrie is a conversation wizard. Plus, she's really hot." James countered defensively.

"Laying blame isn't important right now. We need a plan of action, and pronto." Tiger interjected tersely, readying himself for a fight.

"I have one: there's a life boat parked by the harbor. Authors and scare-dy cats all aboard!" Wyntirsno offered facetiously.

"Sounds like an outstanding plan to me, Wyn." Undefinedliving added readily.

"I should've known that I wasn't getting a vacation." WH muttered in spite of herself.

"Oh, this is it. This is how we're going to die." Jeff rambled on in spite of herself.

"Well, they can't kill us all. I mean, I'm one of the newest members, so they can't have too much of a beef with me. Good luck, Waldo." Purplewowies stated sympathetically while Waldo gazed at her in horror.

Running was out of the question now as the members of the LOUAC surrounded the Suite Life authors from every side, making escape possible. Wayne stepped towards Lody and James with an unfathomable expression on his face. Wyntirsno and Waldo glanced at the angry mob and instinctively put their arms around one another.

Without warning, the LOUAC began clapping and shouting uproariously, causing the stunned authors to stare at them in bewilderment. Before they could stop him, Wayne's face erupted into the widest smile anyone had ever seen on him right before engulfing Lody and James into a bone-crushing hug and hoisted them high into the air.

"Wayne, buddy. Put me down," James chided hoarsely while he tried to break free.

"Thank you, thank you," Wayne murmured repeatedly.

"Wayne… can't breathe." Lody gasped in a raspy tone.

Eventually, Wayne acquiesced and set them both down on their feet. In a flash of lightning, he had moved towards Snapplelinz and kissed her full on the lips, causing her to emit a surprised squeak.

"Thank you!" Wayne reiterated exuberantly.

"What's going on? Why are you all here?" Tiger asked quizzically when he saw all of their beaming faces.

Snap very subtly wiped her mouth with the back of her hand when Wayne turned to face Tiger.

"We came to thank you guys for writing the 'Strange Love' collection for the LOUAC." Haley ventured shyly.

"Wait, you're not here to kill us?" Woundedhearts asked blankly.

"Of course not, silly. You saved our respective love lives." Carey answered gratefully.

Upon hearing this, Wyntirsno and Waldo quickly disentangled themselves and looked pointedly away from one another with abashed expressions on their faces.

"Shannon was pretty unexpected, but in a good way. Thank you, Lodylodylody." She added as she enveloped Lody in a warm hug.

"Normally, I don't swing that way. But my one-night with Brandi was really hot. Thank you, James. But just so we're clear, this stays between us. I don't want London finding out that I hooked up with her favorite step-mother." Emma remarked, feigning indignation before kissing James on the cheek.

"Don't worry, your secret's safe with me." James promised with a sly grin as he wrapped his arms around the attractive redhead in an intimate embrace.

"Thank you, thank you, thank you so much, Silverturtle!" Corrie gushed as she launched herself into the author's arms.

"I take it things have been going well with Alex?" Silverturtle guessed shrewdly.

"So well! I knew she was a good hugger, but she's good at everything! And I mean everything, if you know what I mean." Corrie explained while wiggling her eyebrows suggestively, which made Silverturtle laugh appreciatively.

"And I finally have a girlfriend after all this time! She's a real live woman, and not just a blow-up doll. Dude, Wanda is so hot!" Wayne exclaimed while putting his arm around James' shoulder.

"Glad I could help," James responded uncomfortably.

"You think you had a sweet ride? Dude, I hooked up with a gorgeous cougar." Woody bragged with a self-satisfied smirk on his face.

"Nice," Wayne congratulated while he and Woody fist-pounded.

"Thanks, Snap. You're the best." Woody thanked gratefully.

"No problem, Woody. I just really wanted an excuse to write about tortellini's." Snap offered truthfully, a dreamy look appearing in her eye at the mention of food.

"I didn't actually fall in love with anyone. But I have to admit, Esteban's mother is really pretty." Arwin admitted with relish while reliving his dream.

"Even though some of us ended up with some interesting people, it was really fun. We just wanted to say thanks." Nia intercepted genuinely.

"Gee, Nia. Thanks, that means a lot." WH responded happily.

"It was no problem, we were happy to do it. We all had a lot of fun writing the series. Right guys?" DE10 asked of the authors, who nodded and voiced their agreement with his statement.

"We're so glad you feel that way, because we have a couple of suggestions for the next issue." Dr. Chip began promptly.

"Say what?" Undefinedliving asked blankly.

"The next issue?" Wyntirsno questioned in bewilderment.

"Well, yeah. Waldo, dude. I really liked what you did with my bromance with Justin Russo. But next time, I think you should include some more of my better assets, like my love for water and my awesome backstroke." Lance began as he took Waldo aside.

"I must agree with Lance. I think it would be better for me as a reputable hotel manager to have a more age-appropriate romance in the future." Mr. Moseby added gravely as he addressed Silverturtle, referring to Mary-Margaret.

Silverturtle stared back at Marion like he had to spoken to her in a different language.

"I really liked the story that you wrote about me, Fizzy Starburst. But why did Luca have to have a girlfriend? I don't get it, why do I always drive guys away? First Zack, now Luca, am I not pretty enough?" Ella demanded morosely.

"No, Ella. Of course not…" Fizzy Starburst protested while she tried to explain herself.

"Oh, and FYI, Purple, why on earth would you hook me up with a player like Zack? What were you thinking?" Vanessa demanded in a haughty manner.

"Well excuse me for wanting to bring a little happiness to your life," Purple retorted defensively as her and Vanessa prepared to scrap.

A host of excitable conversations ensued between the authors and their respective muses before Lody stepped in and whistled loudly.

"People! We really appreciate that you all came out here especially to thank us in person. But we are on vacation and us authors really deserve a break away from writing for a while. Why don't we organize a special meeting at Random Suite Publishing Co. where we can all talk about the possibility of a future series in a few weeks time? Agreed?" Lody asked soothingly while retrieving her Blackberry.

The LOUAC members glanced at one another before acquiescing to Lody's suggestion. Wayne and Lody stood apart from the rest of the group and began discussing possible dates and times.

"We're sorry that we interrupted your vacation. We'll leave you to it." Carey chided gently.

As they began to move away, Agnes stood her ground.

"There's just one thing I'd like to know. Who's the idiot who didn't write about me getting laid at all?" Agnes demanded with a malevolent look in her eyes.

All the respective authors shook their heads, murmured various denials and pointed haphazardly at The Hurricane 13, who looked sheepishly back at Agnes.

"Well, I just thought I'd portray you in a more accurate light according to the Suite Life series…" Hurricane explained feebly as Agnes advanced on him in a threatening stance.

"Wait, Agnes, let's talk about this!" Hurricane pleaded desperately as Agnes began chasing him along the golden sand.

"Oh no you didn't! Somebody's getting banished!" Agnes promised venomously as she sprinted after Hurricane into the ankle-high waves of the sapphire ocean.

The remaining LOUAC members and the RSP authors watched the scene ahead with fascination.

"Agnes has such a sweet disposition, doesn't she?" James asked sardonically as they all watched Agnes jump onto Hurricane's shoulders and begin tugging at his hair.

"Is it too late to book myself a real vacation on a cruise or something?" WH asked curiously of the group at large.

**THE END

* * *

**

**Note from WyntirSno:**

I just wanted to thank all the authors that contributed so many wonderful stories. I got way more than I expected, and they were all so good. This was a great experience for me to learn how all this works.

And to all the readers, thanks for reading and reviewing I know that all the reviews were really appreciated.

Thanks,

Wyn


End file.
